Blabbing 'Bout the SAG Awards
Here's what you missed –- or didn't -– during last night's Screen Actors Guild Awards.
7:36 What's with the ponytails? Charlize Theron, Cheryl Hines, Hilary Swank and Sandra Oh... I wore a ponytail all weekend. Does this mean I'm red-carpet ready?
7:40 My sister to me: "Oh, so that's the guy Geena Davis is married to this year?" Yup -- that's husband number four.
7:45 The consensus is that Ellen Pompeo needs to eat. Maybe someone at the Grey's Anatomy set could set her up with an IV drip?
7:51 Matt Dillon is totally channeling Orville Redenbacher with his itty-bitty bowtie. He's still damn cute.
7:58 Eva Longoria looks like Little Bo Peep. Lose the ringlets, sister.
8:00 There's Kiefer Sutherland. Wonder if he has a flask tucked into his tux pocket...
8:03 Did Anne Hathaway just say "Hi-diddley-dee?" She's so annoying.
8:04 Blink 182... Love Sandy Bullock's dress, but what is with the eye blinking?
8:05 Pint-sized Sean Hayes must be psyched he was paired with Little Bo Peep Eva Longoria. He looks like the Golly Green Giant.
8:09 What's Karl Lagerfeld doing at the show? Oh, it's Ted Danson.
8:19 TelePrompTer breaks 19 minutes into the show. Not a good sign.
8:22 Lost wins best drama. Dominic Monaghan and Naveen Andrews kiss... on the lips. Maybe Dom is the mother of Naveen's love child?
8:26 And the winner of the "She Totally Doesn't Look Pregnant" award goes to Rachel Weisz. Gotta love that empire waist.
8:38 Purple is the new black for the women of Desperate Housewives. Felicity Huffman, Alfre Woodard, Marcia Cross and Eva Longoria are all wearing purple or lavender.
8:41 Jason Lee isn't there. Maybe he's still contagious... or maybe he's trying to avoid all the people that he exposed to chicken pox at the Golden Globes.
8:50 Who's the houseboy who accepted the award for Desperate Housewives?
9:03 Jamie Lee Curtis trips down the stairs on her way to present Shirley Temple with the lifetime achievement award. Maybe she's been stealing nips from Kiefer's flask...
9:05 Shirley stumbles on the way to the stage. Again, the flask?
9:15 Jack Nasty (a.k.a. Jake Gyllenhaal) loses to my strange crush Paul Giamatti.
9:34 The best speech of the evening goes to S. Epatha Merkerson. The Lackawanna Blues star ended with "I have to say a public thank you to my divorce lawyer" and let out a huge howl. Somewhere Mr. S. Epatha Merkerson is crying in his beer.
9:37 Angela Bassett is the best-looking mom-to-be ever. She's expecting twins -- via a surrogate -- this spring.
9:41 Heath Ledger acts like an idiot while presenting an award with Jack Nasty.
9:44 Reese accepts her award in a cute vintage number. Wonder who wore that get-up before her. And her chin is just totally freaking me out for some reason. I never noticed just how distinct it is -- a la Jennifer Aniston.
9:47 It looks like Hilary Swank has toilet paper coming out of the top of her dress.
9:52 The second L'Oreal ad of the evening with Heather Locklear comes on. Mental note: Find out the latest on her and Richie Sambora. Also: What's up with Charlize and Stuart Townsend? Stuie was also a no-show at the Golden Globes.
9:56 Morgan Freeman is on the purple train as well. Love. That. Man.
9:57 Crash takes the award for best ensemble cast. Don Cheadle, who is a bit of a mess with a big lipstick kiss on one cheek and a cane -- gives the speech.
10:00 As the show goes off the air, you can hear audio of Ryan Phillippe kissing up to Morgan Freeman. "I always wanted to meet you. You just met Reese, my wife..."
That kid will do anything to get his five minutes of air at an award show.
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