Although, the whole thing was oddly fitting -- Britney coming to guest star on a lackluster show long past its prime that's not even making any bones about being on its last legs. With only a few episodes left, Will & Grace might think it's going out with a bang -- lots of celeb guest stars, thickening the plot and all of that -- but is anyone watching anymore? Even Joey is making bigger headlines, but maybe that's only because people keep thinking any mention of the show is going to announce its demise (see the news on Matt LeBlanc earlier today).

How do you rate Britney's performance last night? Did you even watch?

George Clooney's latest cause? Taking on the gossip site Gawker.com for its new use of Google maps to post celebrity sightings. George thinks this is a dangerous business, and he's urging celebs and their flaks to flood the site with fake sightings – not a boycott, mind you. Think Gawker will mind? Traffic is traffic.

Meanwhile, Clooney's other contribution to world stability – the auction of his Oscar gift bag for charity – finished up. The winner, an unnamed family from Birmingham, paid $45,100 for the swag, which included coffee, a year of Vonage phone service, Tahitian pearls and lots of other goodies. The total gift bag worth was well over $100,000, so why the low bids? There's a little clause that goes with most of the big-ticket items in these gift bags that the celebs have to use them in person, but this one had an exception. You'd think somebody would have put up more cash

The big question is whether or not Clooney, in all his charitable fervor, will claim this as a tax write-off. The government is thinking of cracking down on celebrity swag by making the stars claim it as income. Would these guys show up so readily as presenters at award shows if they had to cough up cash for those free phones and designer jeans? Would we miss them?

Hey guys,
I'm in need of some R&R, so I'm taking today off. But I don't want to leave you without your gossip fix (you need it -- it's Friday!), so you'll have your very own guest blogger today -- Beth. I know you'll love her... just make sure you miss me a little while I'm gone. ;)

Enjoy the weekend!
Suzy

The only Matt LeBlanc news I was expecting was that his show, Joey, was getting canceled. For now, Joey is safe... but Matt LeBlanc's marriage isn't.

Access Hollywood reports that Matt LeBlanc is going to file for divorce from his wife of three years, Melissa McKnight.

Here's the press release that Matt's mouthpiece released to AH:

"Melissa and Matt LeBlanc have decided to end their marriage of three years. The dissolution is amicable. They remain devoted parents and friends. For the sake of their family, they ask that their privacy be respected at this time."

The couple reportedly split on January 1 -- around the time Joey was taken off the air for a this-show-sucks-so-we-have-to-decide-what-to-do-with-it hiatus. They have a daughter, Marina, 2, and Melissa has two children from a previous marriage.

Although Matt and Missie have been together in 1997, last year rumors of problems surfaced when Matt made a bizarre confession about how he almost cheated on Melissa with a stripper. Since then, times have been rough for him professionally -- his show tanked and he's reportedly very frustrated about it.

I'm sure his old Friend Jen can give him some advice on getting through this difficult time.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell just loves belting her employees.

The diva was arrested again earlier today for reportedly assaulting one of her staffers. The incident took place at the mannequin's New York City home and the victim was her 42-year-old personal assistant.

Right now, Naomi is sitting at a New York City jailhouse pending charges, while the injured assistant was reportedly taken to the hospital.

"She had a laceration to her head, so she was clearly hit with some sort of object," said a police spokeswoman.

However, Naomi's mouthpiece released this statement:

"We believe this is a case of retaliation, because Naomi had fired her housekeeper earlier this morning. We are confident the courts will see it the same way."

In the past, Naomi has been accused of assaulting another personal assistant (with a phone), a model and her maid.

Can you say anger management?

Related: Take the Celebrity Jailbirds Quiz

For some reason, Christy Turlington has been keeping quiet about the arrival of her second child, who made his debut back in February. It hasn't been in the news at all. Perhaps she's trying to get back into pre-baby shape before she's back in the headlines? Who knows...

Anyway, iVillage interviewed the supermodel-turned-designer -- who also has a daughter Grace with her filmmaker husband Edward Burns -- for an upcoming Mother's Day story and she opened up about the little fella, who they named Finn. Here's a snippet:

"Grace loves being a big sister. She had been waiting nine months to see who was inside my belly... and now she has him!"

Christy, who married Ed in 2003, is still designing a line of yoga clothes for Puma called Nuala.

Here's the latest Idol recap from my BFF Jewels. Enjoy...

Okay, did I hear that right? Next sing-off is country week? Gag. Don't they already have a show for country sangers. I don't want to see Ace do country. And why in the hell was he in the bottom three again? Ace, I got your back next week, baby. Yee-haw! Who's with me?

Country? That means Kellie and Bucky will be safe for another week, dang. Once more, they scared Bucky to DEATH when it came down to one more person in the bottom three. And it was... Katharine??? They keep doing that to the poor guy. It looked like Bucky was in as much disbelief as Katharine. Katharine??? I mean Katharine??? Wow! Total shocker. Are the voters feeling okay out there -- a little McFever going around?

I was seriously sad for Lisa. She's so sweet -- an excellent talent! And as Ryan said, the bravest contestant he's seen on A.I. It was inevitable though. Even she knew it. Amazingly, they didn't cut Lisa off and let her sing the entire song in the end. It's about time! She sounded good the whole way through too.

After noticing Kevin last week as the "star" of the Ford commercial, I watched last night and yep, they focused a lot on Lisa: putting the quarter in the meter, riding the ice cream cart, and giving the juice pop to that one guy on the street. We'll have to see if they do that to the loser again next week. Maybe we're on to something.

The crew got a sneak peek at Ice Age: The Meltdown. I got a kick out of Mandisa identifying with Ellie cause she's -- "representin' for the big girls." Wonder if there's a fetish with the animated elephant's feet too?

Shakira has amazing control of her body. Insane. And how funny was Wyclef -- singing in Simon's mug. That smarmy smile. Ya know, Simon got on my nerves more than Paula this week. And I like Simon. He's being a little wishy-washy.

Idol ring tones? Get out. You mean I could have "Butterflies" as my ring tone? Give me a video of it and I'll switch carriers today!

Oh yeah, the photo shoot of the Idols... Anyone know where can I get my hands on Ace's?

Until next week...
J

To read her recap of Tuesday's show, click here.

Plus: Despite recent speculation that Paula is "on something," she's inked a deal with the show for three more years. Let the crazy talk continue...

Nicollette Sheridan has one bitter ex-lover on her hands.

Nicklas Soderblom, who Nicollette was engaged to until October, says that the Desperate Housewives star may play a sexy siren on TV, but in real life she's a total dud.

"I guess she's sexy on screen, but definitely not in a real-life relationship," Nicklas told the London Mirror. "She uses her sexuality to get what she wants and as soon as the ring is on her finger, she stops wanting to have sex. She's afraid of commitment."

He also sends a warning to Nicollette's new fiance, Michael Bolton, who she reunited with just weeks after things with Soderblom went south.

"I feel sorry for Michael," Nicklas said, "because I think he really loves her. But I know there's no way in hell a relationship is going to work with Nicollette Sheridan."

Sound like somebody's having a hard time getting over this breakup... and clearly it ain't Nicollette, who has a fatty new diamond on her finger.

Kevin Federline is on my last nerve.

Tuesday, Britney Spear's slacker/sperminator husband put out a press release announcing the name of his new hip-slop album: Playing with Fire.

"The inspiration and meaning behind the title, Playing With Fire, is self-explanatory. I'm excited about this album and am looking forward to continuing my promotional club tour in support of it and seeing the firsthand reaction of my fans listening to my songs for the first time. My album is sure to set the dance floors across the world on fire!"

Seriously, this madness must stop. Why is this kid famous? For bedding Britney Spears? This entitles him to magazine covers, a music career and... press releases? Puh-leez.

Further, I demand to know who K-Fed's so-called "fans" are. Seriously. I want names and phone numbers of these individuals because I don't believe that they could possibly exist. And if they do, I'd like to refer them to my physician -- stat.

Someone please stop this ridiculous. I mean, this greaseball was funny to laugh at in the beginning, but now I need him to go away.

No more cornrows. No more unlaced high-tops. No more wife beaters. No more pimped out Yankees caps. No more K-Fed!

Thank you.

PS -- Justin Timberlake agrees with me. According to the Star, he thinks Kevin is "gross."

At lunch yesterday, I was complaining to my friend Natalie about how one of my sisters always sees celebs out and about in the city. Unless I'm at an event, I rarely do. "I just don't think we pay attention," I told her. "We're in our own little worlds." Fast-forward five minutes. We leave the restaurant, and I go back upstairs to my office. Nat starts walking uptown toward the theater district to her office... Here, I'll let her tell you the rest of the story:

"Natalie here. Okay, so I leave the restaurant, which is on Seventh Ave. between 37th and 38th, after finishing my marvelous lunch with Suzy. As I'm standing on 38th St. waiting to cross, I look at all the people around me and there stands -- very high at that -- Wheeling, West Virginia's own John Corbett.

"Having grown up in the same section of Wheeling as Corbett -- called Warwood -- I look at him and, in all my dorkiness, say: 'Warwood in the house.' He looks back and says, 'What?' I go, 'I'm from Warwood.' He can't believe it.

"We start talking and I tell him how we actually barhopped once together in Wheeling, and I took him to Cappones, our local tavern. He's kind and acts like he remembers... but I know he doesn't. But when I tell him my name, he immediately asks about my brother Jim, who he remembers.

"We just keep chatting and he ends up walking me all the way back to my office on 47th Street. On the way, we pass through those dudes selling comedy tickets in Times Square. One guy's line is: 'Do you like comedy?' Corbett responds with, 'No, no, no, no way.' Then the guy looked up, notices it's him and says, 'Hey, you're that one guy.' That was pretty funny.

"He talks about how he hasn't been in NYC for over a year -- and now he's in town promoting a new country album. This Friday, he's playing the Cutting Room, which happens to be owned by his old "nemesis," Chris Noth. (You remember: Aidan vs. Mr. Big on Sex and the City?) He's also going to be on The View and Emeril doing promotion.

"Next thing you know, we're standing outside my building. He gives me a big hug -- just like Carrie Bradshaw used to get. I wished him luck with the album, promised to buy a copy and headed back to work.

"See what happens when I finally pay attention to the people around me?"

And here's one more sighting...

Am I the only one who thinks there's something wrong with the fact that Teri Hatcher and Ryan Seacrest are dating?

Ugh!

In the new Us Weekly, there are photos of them making out. Yes, I said making out. Oh, and during the tonguing, she's wearing a trucker hat that says American Idol on it.

Us reports that the couple "engaged in some very public displays of affection" during dinner at Neptune's Net restaurant in Malibu on March 25. Then they strolled down the beach, stopping to smooch on a rock.

I need to know how a woman can go from Clooney to Seacrest? From a man's man... to a girly man. From a Hollywood heartthrob to... a reality TV host.

It's not really Ryan's fault. I like him. He's fine. I think the problem is Teri. I feel like no matter who she's with, I won't like them together. She just gets under my skin.

Can you think of a better match for the Hatch? Post your suggestions below.

The latest Idol recap from Jewels... Enjoy!

Was that Debbie Gibson in the audience... and Christy Swanson? Doesn't Swanson have a marriage to wreck or something? Has Debbie Deborah Debbie had a song out in the 21st century? I guess their whole connection to Fox with Skating with Celebrities scored them some tickets.

The contestants had some great songs to choose from in the past 6 years, but for the most part -- didn't.

Uh-oh... The straight-haired Lisa Tucker was having some trouble spots last night. Did anyone notice that she sounded off-key every time she said the word "you" or the word or words following the word "you"? Why in the world would she pick that song? Oh well, "Hakuna Matata." Broadway here she comes! I enjoyed Lisa, but it's her time to go tonight.

Speaking of questionable song choices, "Soaps Suds in a Bucket" -- need I say more? Except I want to -- was it my TV or did Kellie's cheeks look chubbers? I sneaked off to watch it at work, a different screen then I was used to... actually three huge plasmas.

That came in handy for the next contestant: Ace. Surrounded by visions of Ace, I felt like I was right there with him. His eyes... I liked the style this week. I liked the shirt, that it was unbuttoned a little, and the scar -- oh my goodness! I'm with "Pauuuuuuuuula" on that one! What else, what else.. The lip lick and, yes, they established the shot in the end. It's about time! I'm glad Ace is staying sensitive. He could have juiced up that song, but that's not who he is. Simon says we're not going to remember that as a great vocal... Speak for yourself Simon. I shant forget.

Soul Patrol: Fans who were with Taylor right from the very beginning when he was a gray-haired guy in Las Vegas. Ahhh, now we finally know what that means. Last night, I was really feeling the almost pensive Taylor, although I really like the crazy guy too. He's entertaining. And his voice gave me chills with "Trouble." But what is going on? I agreed with Paula again on this one. Eeeekkkkk!

Mandiva got the crowd up like a Baptist church -- Hallelujah! Ick though, there was another foot thing: when she sang the words, Unshackle my feet. I had flashbacks of the "moist ankles" episode.

Ah-ha! I believe we'll see what's up Chris's sleeve next week. Perhaps a little Celine Dion? Ha ha! Last week, Simon was applauding him because he "refused to compromise." Now he tells him to do something different. I hate when the judges do that. Holy moly, Paula is making sense to me again here.

Katharine is exquisite. She could give Chris a run for his money. Simon thinks she almost sounds as good as Christina Aguilera. I agree.

Bucky. Ha ha ha! Good ol' Bucky "sang" the song cause he "flat out felt like it." Well the country folk sure is like it. At least he was true to his fan base and got the votes to stay in it another week. I have to hand it to him, very smooth moves. Hey, was that his twin Rocky standing in as his double?

The chick with all the moves -- Princess P. That performance was electric. I'd like to see more of this from her.

Play that funky music, Elliot. He tried what Bo Bice did last year, but with "funky white boy" flava. A style that was very original. Damn, there I go agreeing with Paula again.

Did you notice towards the end Paula got real playful and almost tricky. She'd start her critique with something that would first sound like a dig -- then twist it around to a positive. New meds?

Until tomorrow...
J

To read her recap of last Wednesday's show, click here.

Jessica Simpson doesn't know how to cook, clean, wash her clothes or even dress herself, yet she's thinking about adopting a child.

"Nothing has been finalized yet," her flack, Rob Shuter, told the AP on Tuesday in an obvious attempt to improve his client's public image. But he added, "It is true that she's exploring options."

I so blame Angelina Jolie for this fiasco. Because Angie adopted two adorable kiddies, all the bimbonic blondes in Hollywood are going to think that this is the hottest new trend -- like the RAZR phone or a new Marc Jacobs handbag. I can just see Paris Hilton trying it next... then leaving her handlers to take care of it like she did with Tinkerbell and that monkey she brought everywhere.

Forget Jessica! I think CaCee Cobb, who is Jess's BFF and personal bitch assistant, should adopt the kid. Looks like she's going to be the one taking care of it anyway.

Watch it: Jessica Simpson thinking of kids

Buh-bye, Kristin Cavallari. Hello, Vanessa Minnillo.

According to People.com, Nick Lachey is hooking up with a gorgeous new lady: MTV and Entertainment Tonight employee Vanessa Minnillo.

On Monday, the duo were playing tonsil hockey in a curtained-off section at the W Union Square's Underbar.

"I saw tongues on skin," said an eyewitness of what People.com is calling an "R-rated bump-and-grind."

The following night they had dinner with friends, then went to another bar.

So who is Vanessa Minnillo? By day, the 25-year-old is an on-air personality for MTV 's Total Request Live and ET. The former Miss Teen USA (Nick loves pageant girls!) also dated NY Yankees superstar Derek Jeter.

Vanessa will appear in the upcoming video for Nick's new single "What's Left of Me," which is said to be about his split with Jessica. According to Us Weekly, Vanessa stands in for Jessica while Nick sings in a house similar to the home he shared with Jess during Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica. Nick watches as all the objects around him disappear -- including Vanessa.

"The song is all about changes," Vanessa told Us. "Nick is so strong. He's really putting himself out there as a musician."

Apparently strong enough to be her new man...

Spritz, spritz, spritz.

Sorry, that's just me spraying my Karma Guard. Apparently the spray is one of the newest trends in Hollywood. It's purified water with wild ginseng root and it's supposed to deflect bad vibes that are caused when you talk smack about other people. Which, ironically, I happened to do all day.

Celebrity fans include Oprah, Martha Stewart and Elton John, who are said to each carry a bottle with them at all times. I'm sure Elton goes through a case a week with all his tirades.

Now that Daily Blabber is a video too, I think I'll need to place a double order!

Hope it works.

Hi guys,

I wanted to be the first to introduce the Daily Blabber Video Blog.

Beginning today, the Daily Blabber will also run once a week in video format. You'll be able to find it on iVillage's main entertainment video page or I'll post a link right here for you weekly.

So why should you watch it? Well, for one thing, the video is going to be different from what you read here each day. I'm looking at it as an added bonus -- a few more juicy gossip morsels to have in your arsenal when you're talking Hollywood at lunch with coworkers -- or at brunch with pals.

I'm also going to incorporate you guys into it. As I always do, I'm going to be reading all of your comments to see what you guys are talking about -- who you're digging... and dissing. And I'm going to use your comments when I can -- the good, the bad and the ugly -- because you guys are so smart, sarcastic and snarky. I already started doing that this week, so you'll have to see if you got a mention.

Also of note, clearly I'm not trying to be Nancy O'Dell. (Though I'd kill to have those gams for just a day...) I'm just trying to do my thing and, hopefully, give you a laugh or two.

If you have any suggestions, questions, comments or the like, feel free to post below or shoot me an email.

I hope you like it.

Suzy

To the delight of women everywhere, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle and Andy Garcia have signed on for Ocean's Thirteen.

Yesterday, Warner Brothers announced that the boyz would be back together for a third film in Oceans Eleven series, which has earned more than $800 million worldwide. In the flicks, George's Danny Ocean heads up a pack of thieves who are specialists in crime. In the first movie, they pulled off a heist at a Las Vegas hotel; in the second, they planned three hits in Europe.

So who won't be back? The ladies. Julia Roberts, who was in the first two, declined to appear because of a scheduling conflict. Catherine-Zeta Jones, who appeared in Oceans Twelve, won't be back either. Perhaps too many divas?

The new gal on the block will be Ellen Barkin, who needs work because she just got dumped by Revlon zillionaire Ronald Perelman.

The movie, which will take place and L.A. and Vegas, begins shooting in July.

Hold off on ordering that bridesmaid dress.

Jennifer Aniston tells Access Hollywood that she and her ex-hubby Brad Pitt are not in a race to see who makes it to the altar first.

"They're so hilarious," Jen said of reports she's going to marry beau Vince Vaughn. "I mean they do start to get comical after a while. I'm apparently having an $8 million wedding. There's the guest list, there's the china, there’s the food. Everything's been broken down. It's a race! Who will win?"

And, again, she reiterates that she doesn't like to be looked at as the victim in her split with Brad.

"You don't want it to ever come off like you don't appreciate people's concerns, but there's just no need, it's a long time passed," Jen explained. "I never was a victim in any of it, so I don't like the word, and I don't like sort of being portrayed that way, the way things get twisted."

Unfortunately, she didn't weigh in on the whole dispute with her former roommate. I mean, I've really been wondering if she used to give herself bikini waxes on the couch or if the whole lipo thing was true. I guess I'll have to wait until the next time she spills her guts.

Right now is a crucial time in Jen's career. After a string of movie flops, her next flick, Friends with Money, opens on April 7. Let's hope that she shows the big-screen magic that she's been lacking in her last pictures, which were all pretty disappointing.

Are you going to see her new film? Are you tired of reading about her? Maybe you're over her but just can't help yourself? Share your opinion below.

Marky Mark is a daddy dad.

According to WENN, reps for Mark Wahlberg have confirmed that his longtime girlfriend, Rhea Durham, gave birth to their son last week. The little fella, who the couple planned to name Michael after Mark's father, joins his big sister, Ella Rae. Other details are scarce, but reports indicate that the model gave birth at Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.

To keep up with the Hollywood baby boom, check out our Celebrity Baby Tracker. To find out more about Rhea's pregnancy, check out her page in our Celebrity Baby Tracker: Graduates.

Everyone else is talking about Star Jones's boobs, so it's only fitting that she weigh in as well.

On The View today, Star called in from her vacation to set the record straight about her boob job gone wrong.

"I had a boob lift," Star told her costars. "I thought it would be nice to call you guys this morning and keep you abreast of the situation."

Star went on to explain that she didn't "almost die" as was reported. She required a blood transfusion due to complications.

"You guys know I'm anemic," she said. "We've talk about it on the show. I did need blood [and] I was prepared... Literally, I was fine right afterwards. I was completely awake while getting my [transfusion]."

As for her new ta-tas, Star says that they're just "normal boobs. It's not that I went and got triple Ds... Friday was my 44th birthday, but my boobs think they are still 20."

Well, that's the chest news I've heard all day.

According to Page Six, Paris Hilton is officially single again. She split with her richy rich boyfriend Stavros Niarchos a month before his 21st birthday -- when he stands to inherit $275 million.

See, she really isn't smart.

Anyway, you know Paris can't be without a man for a nanosecond, so let's play matchmaker for her. Who should her next victim boyfriend be? Should he be famous this time? Rich or poor? Young or old? Smart or... Paris?

Share your thoughts -- naughty and nice -- below.

You can't say Britney Spears and Kevin Federline don't love the little people.

While celebrating Kevin's birthday at Tao in Vegas last week, Britney had two midgets carry out her husband's birthday cake.

The following night, the Federlines returned to the hot spot for a special performance Britney arranged for the birthday boy. So what was the big act? First, a Cher impersonator appeared to belted out "If I Could Turn Back Time." Then, a midget Sonny Bono impersonator joined "Cher" onstage to sing "I Got You Babe."

The things that amuse people....

Moving: Jessica Simpson is making another big change in her life. She's switching record companies. After six years with Columbia, she's divorcing them to make the jump to Epic.

Baby News: Chris O'Donnell, who used to be the toast of young Hollywood, is now the father of four. He and his wife, Caroline, welcomed a son in Hollywood on Thursday. The happy couple won't release the name of their new baby... perhaps because he still has some stalker fans from when he was popular. Or not.

Hitched: Olympic skier Jonny Moseley -- who hosts those addictive Real World/Road Rules challenges on MTV -- married his longtime girlfriend Malia Rich on Saturday in Colorado. They met in high school.

Sighting: From my gossy posse... "Spotted... Indie film queen Lili Taylor, noshing with friends at Soho House in NYC. Her new play Landscape of the Body begins at the Signature Theatre Company on March 28th." Thanks, L.

Engaged: Duane "Dog" Chapman will marry his longtime girlfriend/mother of his two kids, Beth Smith, this season on his reality series Dog the Bounty Hunter. The show premieres tomorrow night at 9pm on A&E.

Box Office Biggie: Inside Man, starring Denzel Washington and Jodie Foster, got people out over the weekend. The film was number one at the box office, making $29 million.

Legal News: David Hasselhoff's divorce is getting nastier. A judge issued a restraining order requiring the Baywatch star to stay at least 100 yards away from his estranged wife, Pamela Bach. He probably showed up at her house in his Speedo hoping to woo her back. Ugh -- what a thought.

(Not So) Special Guest:Morgan Spurlock, who was nominated for an Oscar for eating McDonalds for a month, should be eating his words... but he's not. While giving a speech at a Philly high school's health fair, he poked fun of special ed kids and dropped the F bomb. He later refused to apologize, saying "The greatest lesson those kids learned today was the importance of free speech." Perhaps those Big Macs have gone to his head?

It's a girl for Drew and Lea Lachey!

People.com reports that the Dancing with the Stars winner (pictured with his dancing partner Cheryl Burke) welcomed his first child yesterday in L.A. According to Us Weekly, the baby's name is Isabella.

"Mom, Dad and baby are all happy and healthy," said the couple's rep.

It's a sure bet that -- despite a busy schedule -- Uncle Nick has seen little girl Lachey. A source told Us Weekly: "Nick will drop everything to be with

Brad Pitt's publicist is denying that Angelina Jolie -- or anyone else -- kicked her client's ass.

According to WENN, Brad's publicist is lashing out at reports that Brad stepped out in Paris with a bruised face and swollen lip.

On Monday, Mr. Jolie-Pitt had a four-hour dinner with a friend at a restaurant called L'Avenue restaurant. While there, patrons started buzzing that Brad looked like he'd been knocked around a la Fight Club.

Not so, says Brad's publicist. "There is nothing wrong," she told the mag. "He does not have any bruises or cuts."

More important than these mysterious bruises, why was Brad eating a four hour meal? In Us Weekly's new issue they report that Brad's been packing on some sympathy pregnancy pounds. Could these long dinners with fancy international cuisine be to blame?

He needs to get back to the land of perfect bodies (L.A., natch!) and get to work on his bod. After all, that's about 90 percent of his appeal.

Though I think she's secretly in love with Mr. Nasty (a.k.a. Simon Cowell), American Idol's wacky judge Paula Abdul has a new boyfriend.

At a boutique opening in West Hollywood on Tuesday, Paula made the scene with a hunky actor named Tony Schiena. The following night, he sat in on the taping of Idol, waving and winking to Paula from his seat like he was at a high school assembly.

So who's the beefcake? He has guested CSI:NY and appeared in The Merchant of Venice. Before he started acting, he was a big shot in the karate world.

Who knew there was a whole big "karate world"? Certainly not me, but clearly I'm strictly celeb obsessed.

In February, Paula appeared on Dr. Phil to talk about her relationship woes. The good doc set her up on 10 blind dates, but that was before she hooked with Tony.

For now, Paula is saying that they're "just friends." You know what that means...

Here's the latest in the Heather Locklear/Richie Sambora divorce...

According to People.com, Richie is asking the court to enforce the prenup they signed before their 1994 wedding and that he not have to pay spousal support. Additionally, he seeks joint custody of his 8-year-old daughter, Ava.

Interestingly, in the papers he filed he listed their separation date as December 26, which is a little over a month before Heather filed for divorce and her spokesperson announced their split. At the time, Richie claimed to have no idea about his marriage was over.

So it seems like the only thing these two are really going to duke it out over is custody of Ava. In Heather's filing, she asked for physical custody with Richie getting visitation rights.

Today's NY Daily News offers an additional nugget about the racy photos that supposedly sparked the divorce. They report that Richie's former assistant, Stephanie Heaton, sent them. In the pics, she was wearing only fishnets and boots. However, Richie wasn't the only one to get them in his inbox... Jon Bon Jovi received them too.

"I don't know why she [sent them]," a source the Daily News. "But there was nothing going on between Richie and Stephanie."

I might as well face that I'm addicted... to making fun of Tom Cruise.

These last few days there's nobody I want to poke fun at more than Tommy -- with his fake girlfriend, their fake baby and their fake life together.

Do you think there's a 12-step program for getting over making fun of Tom? Ah, forget it -- I'm sure I can just cure my addiction with vitamins and exercise.

Anyway, I was just sent the trailer for his upcoming film Mission: Impossible III. It amused me watching him act all macho. (This is the clown who's been slobberin' all over Joey Potter for the last year?) Philip Seymour Hoffman plays the villain and, hopefully, kicks Tommy around a little here and there.

I can only hope.

Related: Did Isaac Hayes Really Quit?

A recap of last night's show from Jewels...

I am looking on the bright side of it: I don't know if I could have sat through Bucky's rendition of "Oh Boy" again.

Okay, now that he's out of here, I gotta take a jab... What in the world did he say? Something like: America, pick one of these 10 people... Thanks, bud. What in the hell else are we gonna do? Ha ha! We'll see him again. Disney? Those should have been his last words last night: I'm going to Disney.

Why do they keep running out of time and cutting off the swan song? Stop that! Get rid of some commercials, time your show better, or make it an hour.

Looking back, obvious hints that Kevin was doomed for the beginning of last nights show: Starting out, he was the focus of the Ford commercial. Hmmm... Then, if I can remember correctly, a close up of his extremely pale face basically started the show. Paula, tearing up when the results were nearing... the "blueprint of your life" speech.

My fantasy is that it gets down to Ace and Chris -- and Chris takes it. I don't want to give up on Ace until the last possible second I need to. All right, all right -- back to reality... Kevin will not be coming to my city on the 2006 Idol Tour. But I am accepting that because Ace is on the way to ease the pain.

The highlight of the show for me was Bobby swaying in the audience to his Idol, Barry Manilow. I wonder if he hit him up for pointers backstage. I mean, it was the "Copacabana" that did ole Bobby in. He sung it for his Gram. Aww... how sweet. Well sweet doesn't cut it in this competition we have seen.

Thanks for taking off the caked-on blush, Pickler. Now let's work on some other things... "What's 'a ballsy'?" I have a word for you to learn, Kellie: disingenuous.

Until next week...
J

To read her recap of Tuesday night's show, click here.

This whole South Park/Scientology thing is getting stranger by the second.

Today, Page Six reports that Isaac Hayes, who played Chef in the series, may not have quit willingly. Isaac secretly suffered a stroke in January and, because of that, he's been out of the limelight recuperating. During this time, a press release announcing he was quitting the show was put out by a Scientologist named Christina "Kumi" Kimball.

Further, Isaac reportedly has a baby on the way. Meaning? He can certainly use the paycheck.

I blame Tom Cruise for this whole thing. I also blame Tom because I lost one of my favorite earrings this week, I forgot to mail my cable bill on time and I really think he's behind my friend Chrissy taking a nasty spill during a recent ski trip that's had her limping for the last three weeks.

That nutcase has his hands all over everything.

Anyway, last night was the season premiere of South Park and Chef was killed off the show. The character was later remembered as a jolly fellow who died after the "Super Adventure Club" scrambled his brains.

Kevin Federline turned 28 on Tuesday. How did he celebrate this milestone? In Vegas, baby.

According to People, Britney Spears threw Kev a party on Tuesday night at Tao Las Vegas at the Venetian. About 10 guests were in attendance.

Kevin dressed up for the occasion, wearing one of his trademark wife-beaters and a Yankees hat. Brit was wearing what is being described as a "lethally low-cut" dress. And to shoot down those pregnancy rumors, she was seen throwing back a Cosmo.

After dinner, they went to Pure Nightclub as Caesars Palace, where Britney and Kevin "snuggled with the birthday boy on the club's VIP bed." And to prove that she learned absolutely nothing from her recent needle incident, Britney danced barefoot.

"They didn't leave each other's side all night," a source told People. "They danced together –- Britney was doing all her famous dance moves. Toward the end of the night, they were all over each other –- kissing and hugging, having a great time."

I'm sure by the next morning they were throwing down again. Those two are a case study.

Yesterday there were reports circulating that Aerosmith Steven Tyler was having surgery on his face. Today there are more details, so I'll fill ya in.

Liv's daddy will undergo surgery on his throat later this week amidst rumors that he could possibly be battling cancer. However, his people maintain that he's suffering from strained vocal cords. Steven, who turns 58 this weekend, won't be able to sing for three months after the operation.

This surgery has forced Aerosmith to cancel the remaining 12 dates on their North American tour. And, as of now, they have no plans to reschedule the canceled dates.

Good luck with the surgery, Stevey! And don't let the doctors anywhere near those beautiful lips.

Little Kevin Arnold is going to be a dad!

The Wonder Years star Fred Savage and his wife, Jennifer Stone Savage, are expecting their first child in August, his agent confirmed to the Associated Press.

Fred and Jessica were childhood friends (a la Winnie and Kevin), who grew up together in Chicago. When Fred nabbed his role in the 60s dramedy, he moved to Hollywood. Fast forward eleven years. Jessica attends Fred's birthday party and they totally hit it off. They've been together ever since, marrying in August 2004.

Interestingly, Jack Black -- who recently eloped -- has a similar story. At a party last April, he reconnected with a girl he went to high school with. By Christmas, they were engaged.

Note to self: Go to more parties where former schoolmates may be in attendance.

After The Wonder Years, Fred got into directing for a while -- most notably shows on Nickelodeon. He's currently starring in ABC's Crumbs.

As for baby names, may I suggest Winnie or Norma for a girl and Paul or Wayne for a boy.

Feel free to share yours below.

I had many LOL moments reading your captions for the Jennifer Aniston/Vince Vaughn picture, that I thought we'd try it again.

I'm sure you all can think if something to say about our good friends Tom and Katie. Ready? Go...

Here's the latest from my American Idol lovin' pal, Jewels...

Barry says to Chris, "You don't need me, baby. You've got it." I think America feels the same way. Once again he walked his own line. Fantastic! The next American Idol.

The 17-year-old Paris, turned into a sexy 50s chick with one of the hottest songs in the land, "Fever." It was perfect! The song, her flavor, the outfit. She brought me back in time.

Pickler in her yeller tank... What she was wearing didn't match what kind of song she was singing -- at all. She sounded better than she looked this week. Not so much blush next time, 'kay Kellie.

While trying to get through to vote for Ace (which was a very busy line last night, lesson learned I take it), I made some calls to Kevin and got through quite a few times, which was a little worrisome to me. But I think Kevin is safe. It will be close, but I really do. However, Kevie, the Garanimals shirts HAVE TO GO for the tour! I would think he'd be a stylists dream.

Speaking of which... Wake up, stylists, and get your mitts off my man Ace! What did you do to his hair? Ace, bring back the T-shirts, the beanie, the hot jeans. Ace really jazzed up "In the Still of the Night." If that falsetto didn't get you at the end -- that gaze did, whew! I was in a trance. But the director didn't hold the shot long enough. Ugh! Who wants to see an elbow fiercely clapping, when you have TV gold like that on the screen. Even little 7-year-old girls want this guy. He's smokin'.

"Come Rain or Come Shine" Katharine is on fire. Barry's advice: to have a person in mind to sing to. Who could that person be -- Ace? Stunning, absolutely breathtaking she is.

For the very first time in this competition, Lisa didn't blow me away last night. However, she is a "powerhouse," as Manilow pointed out. She's safe for this week, but she needs to bring back more than just her curls next time around.

It's probably my least favorite performance from Taylor too. But, I must say he looked the best he ever has! Maybe it was the song, but I was just not too interested this week, which is surprising.

Mandisa's range is incredible. She looked absolutely beautiful. No weird comments out of her yap this time, but did we have to pan down to her toes again. Yuck!

"Oh Boy," Bucky is playing into my plan perfectly. His performance last night was mediocre. No more "smashed pertaters" for this dude. I think he will be back to eating "mashed pertaters" in NC next week.

Paula was really juiced up last night! Was she hitting the sauce again?

More tomorrow...
J

To read her recap from last Thursday, click here.

Star Jones should thank her lucky stars that she's still alive.

After having a secret boob job, the View cohost was left with internal bleeding and was close to a heart attack.

According to the National Enquirer, Star flew to L.A. to undergo a ta-ta lift during a break from her talk show. But a few hours after surgery, her vital signs plunged and she started "trembling and shaking uncontrollably." An ambulance rushed Star to Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica, California, on March 17, where she began blood transfusions to save her life.

Three days later, Star was given the green light to leave the hospital and go to Serenity, a popular after-care facility for rich cosmetic surgery patients.

And where was her hubby, Al Reynolds, during all of this? He couldn't rush to her side because he was in the hospital too, having cut his head when he fell at the gym.

He was probably doing aerobics.

A spokesman for Star confirmed her surgery, telling the Enquirer: "She had an elective breast lift procedure. Star is recovering wonderfully."

Is Eva Longoria that desperate for attention?

The publicity whore seems to be out every night, talking about... herself. In the past week alone, here are some of the headlines:

I don't care if she's going to have a baby before she gets married. I don't care if she's the teacher or the student in her relationship. I don't care if she's turning 31 and having the biggest birthday bash ever.

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

It's exactly this type of overexposure that is going to make Desperate Housewives -- last year's most buzzworthy show -- crash and burn. There's no mystery to these women anymore. We know every little detail that there is to know -- plus some. I see them so much during the week that I can't even stomach watching them on Sunday nights.

Are you sick of the Housewives? Do you care about Eva and Tony's relationship? Who are five stars you'd like to see disappear? Weigh in below.

Debi Mazar's entourage has gotten larger.

People.com reports that the HBO star gave birth to a daughter on St. Patrick's Day.

Did they go with an Irish name? Gaud no. Debi and her Italian jazz musician husband, Gabriele Corcos, named their new addition Giulia Isabel Mazar-Corcos.

The couple, who married in 2002, already have a daughter named Gabriele Evelyn Maria.

To keep up with the Hollywood Baby Boom, check out the Celebrity Baby Tracker.

Since Sienna Miller split with Jude Law, she's been partying her tiny little heinie off. One minute she's in London, the next she's in Hollywood. In one photo she's kissing Hayden Christensen, and in her next breath she's denying there's anything going on between them.

Sounds like she's destined to come down with that dreaded celebrity diagnosis: exhaustion.

To prevent See-See from joining the likes of Mariah Carey and Lindsay Lohan, her little sister, Savannah, has ordered her to come out to her country home for a time out.

"She feels her sister has been caught up in a whirlwind of media attention ever since she and Jude Law broke up," a source told the Sun. "Because Sienna has been racing around the world concentrating on her career, they haven't had any bonding time... so Savannah told Sienna in no uncertain terms that she was expected down in Cornwall."

Wonder if Hayden will be joining them.

And the hits just keep on coming for Tom Cruise.

The Church of Scientology -- and Tom, specifically -- get blasted in a new ad in LA Weekly. It reads: "Thanks, Tom Cruise and the Church of Scientology, for your expert advice on mental health." It goes on to say that a woman was killed "by the schizophrenic son she was told to treat with vitamins instead of psychiatric care."

If I were Tom, I'd be clearing my schedule for an extended paternity leave. But it will never happen because he has M:I III coming up and, I'm sure, has lots of couch jumping and other antics planned for that.

Meanwhile, to cash in on the South Park-Scientology drama, the creators of the show -- Matt Stone and Trey Parker -- are going to bring back Chef in season 10, which begins tomorrow. However, Tom's disciple Scientologist Isaac Hayes obviously won't be providing the voice, having quit last week over an episode poking fun of his religion.

Like movie sets, Hollywood relationships are filled with drama. They're on! They're off! They reunited! And the world is watching the entire time. Here are two couples who have reportedly hit the skids...

From my East Coast spies...

Here are weekend snapshots of Ms. Britney in L.A. She was photographed on two separate occasions going to a studio where Kevin Federline was reportedly working a music video. Both times, she's covering her belly.

In the first set of photos, she's carrying a jacket to cover her stomach. On another trip to the same studio, her cousin is carrying Sean Preston and Brit is carrying a bag.

She's heard the pregnancy rumors, so she's just fanning the flames at this point. But how crappy would it be if she's just pudgy -- not pregnant -- and her bulging belly is splashed on the covers of newspapers and mags everywhere. Not great for the self esteem, right?

What do you think about the photos? Do you think she's expecting? Weigh in.

Tori Spelling is in big trouble with her mommy and daddy.

According to Page Six, Aaron and Candy Spelling have stopped speaking to their daughter after she poked fun of her mother in her new VH1 show, So noTORIous.

"There is a scene in the first episode of her new show... in which she makes fun of the eBay room in her parents' house," Tori's friend reveals. "Her mother has a huge shopping problem and has a whole room dedicated to the stuff she buys on the site. When Candy saw the episode, she threatened Tori and said she was going to sue her."

Sue her? Damn. That's drastic. I wonder what punishment Tori got when she broke curfew as a teen. Did she have to pay a fine from her trust fund?

Apparently things have been bad for Tori and her 'rents since she got engaged to Dean McDermott while still married to Charlie Shanian. After Dean popped the question, Tori sent her "cold" mother an invite to meet her new man. Candy wrote back saying only that Tori had to get her crap out of the apartment she had been sharing with Charlie, which Candy owns.

Through her rep, Tori released this statement: "So noTORIous is a fictionalized account of my life after 90210 with fictional characters... We take poetic license with everyone and every storyline on the show. With regard to my apartment, Dean and I wanted to start a new life together, so leaving the apartment I had for over 10 years was the right thing to do for both of us."

All of this is good press for Tori's show, which debuts April 2.

It's a trump-et for Donald and Melania.

During a phone interview with Imus in the Morning today, the Donald announced that Melania had given birth to a baby boy 20 minutes earlier. He also said that Melania had been in labor for eight hours and they hadn't decided on a name yet.

This is the fifth child for Donald, who has three children with his first wife, Ivana, and one with his second wife, Marla Maples. This is Melania's first.

To read all about Melania's pregnancy, check out Celebrity Baby Tracker Graduates. And to keep up with the stars who are currently expecting -- Angelina, Gwen, Gwyneth, Brooke -- see the Celebrity Baby Tracker.

My favorite new couple on TV? Izzie and Denny on Grey's Anatomy.

I. Love. Them.

Denny totally reminds me of someone, but I can't think of who it is. Anyone have any ideas? It's driving me crazy.

Anyway, I was so glad that he pulled through last night and wasn't "number seven." And I hope they get together just to piss off Alex, who has serious issues. He's a nasty little bugger... though he's damn cute.

Am I the only one who can't stand George? He drives me crazy. He's so mopey and dopey -- though I did feel bad for him when Anger Management Alex went nutso on him for no reason. But he's carrying his Meredith obsession a little far. Get over it and move along. Hopefully this new doctor chick will help with that.

And talking about carrying obsessions too far, I'm really glad Meredith and Derek are friends. It keeps the hope alive that they'll get back together. But why must they keep making Addison so likable? I want to hate the bitch, but it's impossible. She needs to be a total hellcat, so it drives Derek into Meredith's arms.

Clearly I'm obsessed with this show.

Speaking of doctors... There's a new quiz all about TV doctors. So test your knowledge of McDreamy, Dr. House and more by giving it a try -- stat!

Photo:Scott Garfield/ABC

From members of my gossy posse in NYC:

Time to get creative. Here's a photo of Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn from their upcoming movie The Break Up. I thought it would be fun to come up with captions below.

So, as Pat Benatar would say: Hit me with your best shot...

Jessica Simpson decided not to wear her boob-squeezing corset yesterday when she visited Capitol Hill on behalf of Operation Smile. I bet Papa Joe was so disappointed. PS: I'm so glad she brought her hairdresser with her on her official business.

Scientology's most famous supporter -- Tom Cruise -- pulled out all the stops to get Comedy Central to cancel a rebroadcast of a controversial South Park episode poking fun at his religion.

According to Page Six, Tom vowed not to promote Mission Impossible 3 -- which Paramount is banking on to be a big hit -- if the episode ran this past Wednesday. At the last minute, it was mysteriously pulled.

Paramount is owned by Viacom, which also owns -- drumroll, please -- Comedy Central.

The episode in question is called "Trapped in the Closet," which makes fun of Scientology and shows Tom and John Travolta in a closet. If it sounds familiar, it's because Scientologist Isaac Hayes, who played Chef, quit over it earlier this week -- though he didn't complain (and cashed his check) when it first aired in November. Rumors are swirling that Isaac was pressed to quit by his minders in the Church of Scientology.

Is there anything Tom won't do for L. Ron's disciples? Let's hope that he loves his fiancé -- and fellow convert -- Katie Holmes as much as he loves his religion.

I know, I know -- you've heard rumors that Brad and Angelina are getting hitched a hundred times. It hasn't happened... obviously, so I understand your skepticism. Hey, I'm skeptic too. But if I didn't tell you and they did get married, then I wouldn't be doing my job. Right?

So here's the latest Brangelina wedding rumor. Again, the wedding location is said to be Italy. Could be Clooney's villa, which in the past he denied, denied, denied. The nearby town of Cernobbio is another possibility.

Interestingly, someone emailed my office a couple weeks back saying they had info about the wedding. However, they expected to be paid for the scoop. As if! Here's the email:
________________________________________________
From: Jerry
Sent: Saturday, March 04, 2006 4:19 AM
To: Editors
Subject: tip re wedding of brad and jolie

I live on Lake Como, Italy and through a waitress friend, I have been told where and when the marriage of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will take place; she is involved in the preparation.

Jerry
________________________________________________

Take it for what it's worth.

You'd think spending a few weeks in Hawaii would be paradise, right? Not for Britney Spears, who reportedly stepped on a hypodermic needle.

Britney made one of her frequent trips to the hospital -- though this time it was actually warranted -- when she is said to have stepped out of her car -- without shoes (natch!) -- and onto a needle that was in the parking lot.

After being rushed to Hawaii State Hospital and examined, Britney was told that the needle was unused.

"Britney is going to be fine," a source told Britain's Daily Star newspaper. "It was more the shock of seeing the needle poking out of her foot -- as you can imagine... The conclusion we would all jump to is that it was discarded by a drug user. Britney was distraught but brave."

But will this teach her to finally wear shoes?

Here's the latest American Idol update from Jewels...

I was happy to see certain contestants looking more like themselves. Ahhh... Ace without the velvet blazer! Bucky's Jessica Simpson 'do washed away.

I want to check out the ratings to learn how many viewers they held last night with their antics. Starting off with Ace in the bottom three was genius. Obviously, they did that on purpose for suspense.

Another trick the producer pulled was to put Ace up against Kevin. It really made the viewer think about who we are really voting for. I know I voted for Kevin, strategically thinking because I didn't want Melissa to beat him. I was like, if I helped do this to Ace, I'll never forgive myself. I knew inside he wasn't going anywhere though.

Of course Melissa was next. She knew it. We all knew it.

Down to the last two... and Bucky had the look of fear in his eyes (reminiscent of last week when it came down to him and Gedeon). And once again, Bucky was shocked he got to stay put. Lisa was in the bottom three? Wow, that's really hard to believe.

Whew, Ace was saved... then Lisa.

There she goes... Melissa, singing that same song that killed any chance she had to hold on another week. And with a smile, you gotta dig it. She sounded good and more confident. But the biggest producing mistake of the whole night was unfortunately when there wasn't enough time left in the show to hear if she ever got the lyrics right. I was so looking forward to that moment. Do you think she did?

Look out for Ace next week. He's gonna BRING IT. The eye of the tiger, man! Did you see it. I saw it... grrrrooooooowwwwlll!

Until next week...
J

To read her report from yesterday, click here.

Maybe if his name was Adam or Jude things would have worked out differently.

In what truly would have been a meeting of the minds, Jessica Simpson was invited to have dinner with fellow Texan President Bush tonight. So what time will dinner be served? Half past... never.

You see, Jess is in Washington today to lobby Congress on behalf of her pet charity, Operation Smile. (Funny charity of choice for a collagen lover, no?) She also reportedly accepted an invite to attend tonight's big National Republican Congressional Committee fundraiser, where she was guaranteed private face time with the Prez to talk about the organization. However, a day after accepting, her handlers called back and canceled.

So how are Jessica's people spinning it? Officially, they say Jessica was never supposed to attend the event. Off the record, they're planting stories that because Op Smile is a non-partisan group, Jess can't hobnob at a Republican event on behalf of the charity.

Either way, an NRCC spokesman said he was was surprised by la Simpson's behavior, sniffing: "It's never been a problem for Bono."

Saying goodbye was not an easy thing for American Idol's Melissa... but that's what she got for forgetting the words to her song on Tuesday night. So she was sent a packin'.

More shocking, I think, was the fact that Ace was in the bottom three. Has he gotten too big for his cute britches? If so, I think last night was a reality check for him that he's not going to coast by on cuteness alone.

And is Ryan Seacrest seriously dating Teri Hatcher? That's what it says in the new Us Weekly. Us reports that they had a first date at L.A.'s L'Orangerie on March 10. Us must be wrong though -- R&T must have been going to get pedicures together or handbag shopping or something. I so can't see them dating.

That's where you go after Clooney?

More on Idol later...

Here are some good blind items from today's Page Six. See if we can figure out who they're talking about...

Settled: The family of the late John Ritter reached a tentative settlement in a wrongful death lawsuit against the hospital in Burbank, CA, where the actor died. His wife, actress Amy Yasbeck, and his four children accused the hospital of negligence, claiming he was misdiagnosed "at least twice and underwent improper and unnecessary procedures" during his brief hospital stay. John died of an aortic aneurysm on September 11, 2003.

Gold Digging: The creepy, hairy estranged husband of American Pie actress Shannon Elizabeth filed a lawsuit yesterday seeking half of all property and assets the pair accumulated during the five years they lived together before they were married. Joseph Reitman moved in with the aspiring starlet in 1997, they married in 2002 and they split in 2005. Get. A. Job. Bozo.

Feuding: Oscar winner George Clooney is feuding with commentator Arianna Huffington. Earlier this week, Arianna posed an entry on her political blog that she said was written by the Good Night and Good Luck star. The article blasted Democrats over the Iraq war. Now, George is saying that he never wrote it. He says it was taken, with his permission, from interviews he'd done with Larry King and other media outlets. In short, his thoughts, but not his sentence structure.

Split: Phil Collins and his third wife, Orianne, will be leading separate lives. They got married in 1999 and split earlier this year. They have two children.

I got an email from Britney Spears this morning. Did she reveal to me that she's pregnant, ditching Kevin or any of her other dark secrets? Nah. She's hawking perfume.

You see, I'm on Britney's official mailing list. I'm not proud of it. Frankly, I'm embarrassed. But I just don't want to miss any Britney news -- whether it's an announcement that she's expecting... or that she's getting lipo. I must know all.

Do you think I need help? Is there a Britney 12-step program?

Anyway, here's the scoop on her fragrance...

----------------------------------------
From: Britney Spears
To: Suzy
Date: Thu 3/16/2006 12:29 AM
Subject: Are You In Control?
This is your chance to pre-order Britney's latest fragrance! In Control will be on shelves on March 31st, but you can place your pre-order now and have the fragrance shipped out to you before it's available in stores. This is a limited edition fragrance that will only be available for a limited time, so secure yours now!

Here's what Britney has to say about this exciting new fragrance:

"I'm very excited about my new, sexy limited edition scent, In Control. It's a new twist on my best-selling fragrance, Curious, but with added touches of crème brulé and midnight orchid that make it so sensual and exotic. It's completely addictive!"

-Britney Spears
----------------------------------------

Now I must say that it's ironic Britney's fragrance is called In Control when her life is so outta control. Between the stalkerazzi tracking her every move, her loser husband, those pregnancy rumors... Shouldn't she have named this fragrance "I'm a Mess," "Married to a Loser" or "Has-Been"?

I could think of 50 better names than In Control and I know you could too. So let's lose control and come up with better names for Brit's new scent. Post your suggestions below.

Like, oh my God, Brenda. Kelly Taylor is having another baby!

According to People.com, Beverly Hills, 90210 alum Jennie Garth and her hot husband, Peter Facinelli, are having their third child together. They already have two daughters: Luca Bella, 8, and Lola, 3.

Keep track of all the Hollywood stars who are infanticipating with the Celebrity Baby Tracker. And see if you can correctly answer the Jennie Garth question in About-to-Pop Star Trivia.

As you gear up for tonight's live results show of American Idol -- Stevie Wonder is performing! -- Jewels** has provided a little recap of last night's show. Enjoy...

Ooooo-Weeeeee -- Bucky got a blow dry!

It was apparent that the stylists were backstage doing their thang this week. The contestants were all made over... or in some cases, made under. Examples, Bucky, Ace, Mandisa (her shoes!) and even Melissa. They looked much better with their own styles. Hey Ace: Bring back the beanie!

Speaking of Ace, what happened? Classic Motown -- not his strongest performance. He's kind of been an every-other-week hottie. I have faith he'll get 'em next time.

Another not-so-pleasing sight -- but nothing in comparison -- was seeing Mandisa's feet squished into her shoes. Even more unsettling, Ryan taking them off saying she had "moist ankles." Ewww! What's with her and the "dogs barking"? Her feet, the jaw thing (where she barked at Ryan)... That chick can belt it out there, but boy is she an odd one.

Paris had Paula on her feet dancing! And there was another Fantasia comparison -- this time by Stevie Wonder. Wow! Although I don't see it, Paris is too sweet. And it was a total compliment from Stevie to Elliott when he said, "You should definitely choose this as a profession." He did great!

Taylor brought the funk with his electric performance. Chris rocked out hard with his version of Higher Ground. Once again, giving me no doubt that he's taking this competition all the way.

Lisa signed, sealed and delivered yet another stellar performance. The stunning Katharine dazzled. Pickler looked fabulous, but I couldn't stop yawning during her performance. And she was the second contestant.

Then there's Kevin, "little Kevin" as the great Stevie Wonder called him. Did you hear him defending himself to Simon: "I wasn't expecting much from you anyway." Go Kevin!

Which brings me to... You can't forget the lyrics at this stage in the game, so bye-bye Melissa. She actually got the lyrics right when she sang, "this time could mean goodbye," and I really think it will.

More tomorrow...
J

** To read Jewel's report from last week, click here.

Say it ain't so Nick.

I was firmly on Team Lachey until People.com confirmed that the 32-year-old newlyspit is dating Laguna Beach teenager Kristin Cavallari. You know -- L.C.'s nemesis. The one who whined about Stephen the whole time? The one whose totally lame show on UPN was just canceled.

"Eventually it might turn into something more serious," Kristin's pal confirms to People. "But right now it's not. They're at that stage when they're getting to know each other."

The new Us Weekly reports the same thing.

"They're just starting something," a source tells the mag. "It's very new, and that's why they don't want to talk about it."

Do you think Kristin's dating Nick for a career boost? Is Nick just trying to get back at Jessica by dating her younger look-alike? Do you think they make a good couple? Weigh in.

Are Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes already man and wife? According the the National Enquirer, they most definitely are.

The tab reports that Tom and Katie got hitched eight months ago when a Scientology chaplain performed a ceremony at sea.

With fellow Scientologists John Travolta and Kirstie Alley in attendance, TomKat exchanged rings with triangular Scientology symbols during a Caribbean cruise. (They are said to only wear the rings at Scientology functions.) After the ceremony, the couple walked across a small bridge -- a Scientology symbol for the journey to "total freedom." Katie was wearing white.

The mags says Katie's family, who are practicing Catholics, did not attend the ceremony. However, they will attend TomKat's "official" wedding this year.

Tom and Katie's spokesperson denies the Enquirer's story, saying, "They have not yet wed, and are continuing to move forward with their plans for the big day."

If they didn't marry, then perhaps the ceremony was Katie's official initiation as a Scientologist?

Today I think we should celebrate the life of a man who made us laugh in films like Anchorman, Old School and Elf. A man who...

Oh, wait -- he's not dead.

Yesterday, a fake press release went out across the Internet which purported to announce a fatal paragliding accident that killed comedian Will Ferrell. The story, posted on iNewswire.com, was filled with all kinds of mistakes -- the most glaring was that Will was paragliding Monday in San Diego. In actuality, Will was in Canada filming a movie. And, truth be told, Will has never been paragliding in his life.

"Not much to say other than we heard and read about it this morning and reacted accordingly," Ferrell's publicist told E! in an email. "There was no point in trying to track [the source] down as it was obviously a hoax... [Will is] alive and well, and filming a movie in Montreal."

What a bad joke.

Well here's the scoop on a movie I'll never watch...

According to Variety, Jennifer Lopez and John Travolta have been offered the lead roles in the movie version of the TV series Dallas. If they accept, John will play J.R. Ewing and J.Lo will play Sue Ellen.

Other names being mentioned for the flick include Luke Wilson as Bobby Ewing and Shirley MacLaine as Miss Ellie. Shirley was hysterical recently in that dreadful Jennifer Aniston movie Rumor Has It in December.

Hate to say it so early, but -- except for Luke Wilson -- this movie sounds horrible. I suggest that you don't Texas two-step to the theater for this one.

In other movie news, Welcome Back, Kotter -- the series that starred John Travolta -- is also being turned into a movie. And who will be playing teacher Gabe Kotter? Why Ice Cube, of course.

You'd think a larger-than-life star like Jack Black would have a king kong size wedding. Instead, he decided to keep it small and secretive.

People.com reports that the actor/musician recently eloped with his girlfriend, Tanya Haden, who is a cellist. No other details about the nups have been made public at this time.

After splitting with his longtime girlfriend Laura Kightlinger last year, Jack bumped into Tanya at a party in April. They had gone to high school together, so they chatted and immediately hit it off. By December, they were engaged.

"I had a crush on her [in high school]," Jack told GQ last year. "We weren't, like, close buddies. She was too pretty, and I was scared to talk to her."

Now they're not only close buddies, but they're also husband and wife.

Who else has gotten married this year? Keep track.

Charlize Theron is shooting down rumors that she has split from her Irish beau Stuart Townsend.

Her publicist released this statement: "Stuart and Charlize have not broken up. Next week everyone will be calling me saying they were married. We can't win."

I still think it's suspicious that he didn't attend a single award show with her since January. She was up for best actress -- it's not like she was up for best assistant keygrip. There's something going on there whether they want to 'fess up to it or not.

Smoke=fire.

Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton are desperate to get married.

Nicollette's rep confirmed to People.com that the couple, who dated in the '90s for a few years and reunited in December, are getting hitched. At the rate they're going, expect the wedding to happen sooner rather than later.

It's been a wild year and half for Nicollette. With the help of a small show called Desperate Housewives, she made a huge career comeback. (Her last big role prior to that was on Knots Landing -- and that was so long ago shoulder pads were still in.) Along with primetime success, she found love, becoming engaged to a wannabe actor named Nicklas Soderblom in January 2005. They split in October -- shortly before she reunited with Michael.

This will be the second marriage for both Nicollette and Michael. Nic was previously married to Harry Hamlin (Mr. Lisa Rinna) for a year; Michael has three daughters from his 15-year marriage to Maureen McGuire.

I have a message for Kevin Federline: Please don't do it.

Britney's icky husband tells Blender mag that if his pretend rapping career doesn't take off, he plans to become... a stripper.

"I'll be at your local strip club," he says, "but I'll be the one dancing."

And I'll be the one not stuffing dollar bills down his pants. Seriously, I can think of 1,000 people I'd rather see strip than la Spenderline. Let's start with Matthew McConaughey, whose buff bod looked fab-ul-ous in Failure to Launch, which I saw last night.

Which Hollywood stars do you think have the best bods? Spill it here...

In the last year, I feel like the world has become baby obsessed. Maybe it's Britney's fault. Or perhaps we can blame Angelina. Either way, since everyone is talking about Hollywood baby boom, I thought you'd enjoy this new quiz all about celebrity pregnancies called the About-to-Pop Star Quiz.

Here's a sample question:
Which actress's water broke at a pre-Oscar party?
*Annette Bening
*Cate Blanchett
*Holly Robinson Peete
*Catherine Zeta-Jones

Give it a shot and let me know how you do.

I'm not the only one speculating that Charlize Theron is single again.

According to The Sun, Charlize and her live-in boyfriend of five years, Stuart Townsend, are dunzo.

"Charlize is free and single again," a source told the tabloid. "Her relationship with Stuart is well and truly over... They just grew apart. It wasn't always easy because filming often kept them apart for months."

Like I've been telling you since January, it's highly suspicious that Stuart was MIA at all the award shows when his girl was up for top honors. Some of you guys keep reminding me that he was filming a movie. (See, I really do read your comments.) I just find it hard to believe that he's filming a movie seven days a week for three months and he couldn't sneak away for one of his girl's big nights. (She attended the Globes, SAGs, BAFTAs and Oscars without him.) And I know he went to an after-party for the Globes. Doesn't count. A move like that indicates that they were trying to avoid the press.

Let's see what happens -- there's still no official word. Hopefully they'll work it out. But if she is single again, she's going to need to work on her look. That Oscar dress was a fright.

Could Britney finally be getting wise to her husband, Kevin Spenderline?

Page Six reports that Britney as put K-Fed on a -- gasp -- budget.

"Each month, he will be allotted a certain amount of money for personal use -- i.e., clothing, nightclubs, booze and day-to-day activities. Any big items -- cars, or trips that go over allowance -- need to be approved by Brit herself," says a source. "She acknowledges she has made a great deal of money. However, she is trying to show Kevin that he needs to be responsible and curb his out-of-control spending habits."

As for their "romantic" getaway in Maui, things aren't exactly blissful.

"I was in the elevator with Britney, and she was screaming at K-Fed on her cellphone that she had waited in the suite all day for him to call and had been trying to reach him and couldn't sit in there any longer," says another spy.

Fingers crossed that she isn't pregnant. She obviously has enough to deal with.

When it comes to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's love saga, everyone is a critic -- even Michael Douglas, who apparently wears a "Team Aniston" shirt.

Even though Jennifer Aniston is tired of people feeling sorry for her, Michael shows her some sympathy in a new interview in GQ.

"I don't know about Brad Pitt, leaving that beautiful woman [Jennifer Aniston] to go hold orphans for Angelina [Jolie]," mused Michael. "I mean how long is that going to last?"

And that's not the only Hollywood couple Catherine Zeta-Jones's hubby weighs in on.

"You learn to respect something of value and nurture it and treat it well," Michael says of his marriage. "I mean, don't ask me what happened with Renee Zellweger [and her short-lived husband Kenny Chesney]. I don't know how you get married for four months. And Julia [Roberts] with Lyle [Lovett]. There must be some incredible things you find out one night. I mean, I don't know."

Mind you, this all comes from a guy who reportedly has a clause in his prenup with CZ-J which guarantees her more money if he cheats on her. And I won't even get into all the sex addict rumors... Should he really be giving relationship advice?

Jennifer Aniston has a message for you: She doesn't want your pity.

In a new interview with Vogue, which USA Today is running an excerpt from, Jen says: "Don't make me your victim ... It makes my skin crawl."

As for the whole Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie love triangle, Jen sighs: "I'm so tired of being part of this sick, twisted Bermuda Triangle." But, she adds, "These are human beings... It's real."

She doesn't mention Brad or Angelina by name in the interview.

As for the new man in her life, Vince Vaughn, Jen reveals only this: "First and foremost, he's a really good, loyal friend. Fiercely loyal."

And don't forget cute. Fiercely cute.

Number One: The number one movie at the box office over the weekend was the Sarah Jessica Parker/Matthew McConaughey flick Failure to Launch. It made $24.6. I'm going to see it tonight... Did you guys like it?

Recovering: 75-year-old Sean Connery underwent surgery for a kidney tumor a few weeks ago and he's recovering at home in the Bahamas.

Hired: Mom-to-be Rachel Weisz is the new face of Burberry. See how powerful an Oscar is? Next I'd like to see best actor Philip Seymour Hoffman named the new face of Versace... or even Sean John.

Another 28 Days: Leif Garrett was ordered to stay in rehab for another month.

Dismissed: Scott Stapp used his "get of jail free" card. After getting arrested for public intox on the way to his honeymoon, the L.A. district attorney's office decided to drop the charges against the singer. They probably figured that anyone who films a sex tape in a trailer with Kid Rock and four strippers has bigger problems in life.

Starring Role: Osama bin Laden's niece Wafah Dufour, who is an aspiring singer, has signed up for a reality TV series about her life and her "quest for stardom."

I don't know if it arrived in your inbox, but there's an email making the rounds that was supposedly written by a gal who worked the Vanity Fair Oscar post-party. It's nothing scandalous -- no one caught Kate Moss and Dakota Fanning doing coke together -- but it's more of list of who she saw and what she thought. For example: "I have good news for you ladies -- Yes, Jake Gillenhall [sic] came alone. I have some unsurprising news for you ladies, Yes, Al Roker came alone."

It's the sorta thing your best friend could have written... had she been hobnobbin' with the hottest stars.

Seeing that this is the first season I'm really watching American Idol religiously, I've decided to turn to an expert for help on my weekly Idol update. May I introduce Jewels**, a former news producer, who works for a top politico by day... and obsesses over Idol at night. Here, she blabs about last night's show:

So that's what Ayla looks like when she doesn't get what she wants --she cries? I have to remember the overachiever is just 17. Ryan earned his money last night trying to turn it into a positive for her and helping her compose herself enough to sing that very song that lost her America's votes. God I feel for the losers -- that they have to sing the same song that did them no good in the first place.

Gedeon leaving was a shocker to me. I thought it would be Buckey. But Gedeon is smooth and will do something big one day. I'm glad Kevin made it through because at least now he'll get to do the tour thing. Gedeon will have plenty of opportunity to do something big -- whereas this will be the biggest thing of poor little Kevin's life. I like that kid.

Kinnik and Will were "for sures" when it came to leaving this week. They were both given another chance last week... and blew it.
One consistent thing about all the losers this week is that they all picked the wrong song. Come to think of it, there were a lot of wrong songs in this week's competition.

What else? Oh, Paula. I'm convinced that she's a robot. She's not real and she malfunctioned last week. And what was the deal with her breaching security at the airport? There has to be a whole lot more to that story.

If you can't get enough of Ace (I know I can't) -- there's MORE!!!!

And did you hear about American Idol Extra that debuts March 16th? Yet another thing preventing me from getting my life in order.

Until next week...
J

**Jewel's name has been changed so that she's not outted as an obsessive Idol fan to her policy-making boss.

After the Hiltons were cut from the guest list at the Vanity Fair Oscar bash, Paris decided to go to Elton John's annual gala, which benefits AIDS research. But guess which heiress refused to pay the $2,500 entrance fee?

"The party is a benefit gala, and tickets are $2,500 a pop," a spy told Page Six. "When it was suggested to her that she donate the money, Paris just said, 'Don't you know who I am?' and waltzed right in. Isn't she supposed to be wealthy? Everyone else paid. She won't be asked back."

A rep for Elton's AIDS Foundation confirmed that the millionairess didn't donate a penny, despite giving interviews on the press line suggesting she did. When contacted by Page Six, Paris's spokesperson said, "Paris did instruct her accountant to cut a check for $10,000. They should get their money."

I wonder if this is the same accountant who Paris blamed when her storage facility bill wasn't paid and all of her "cherished possessions" -- that she just dumped there -- were sold.

Think gals are the only ones who suffer from eating disorders? Think again.

In the new issue of Best Life, Dennis Quaid says he suffered from "manorexia" in the mid-'90s after he lost 40 pounds to play Doc Holliday in Wyatt Earp.

"My arms were so skinny that I couldn't pull myself out of a pool," said Dennis. "I'd look in the mirror and still see a 180-pound guy, even though I was 138 pounds... For many years, I was obsessed about what I was eating, how many calories it had, and how much exercise I'd have to do."

Unless I'm mistaken, he also had a little drug problem in the '90s, which also probably helped along his weight loss.

It looks like Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora want to hash out their divorce in private.

A week after Richie filed papers to get rid of the first judge assigned to handle their divorce case, Heather has filed a similar request, alleging that the second judge is prejudice against her. The court accepted the challenge and a third judge will be appointed to the case.

Typically, this is the procedure when a soon-to-be ex duo seeks to have their divorce handled by a private judge, which is the new trend in Hollywood divorces. Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston and Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards have all turned to private judges to hammer out their proceedings to avoid having details of their divorce made public.

Heather filed for divorce on February 2 -- citing irreconcilable differences -- after reportedly finding a dirty email from another woman in Richie's inbox. According to her filing, Heather is seeking physical custody of her daughter, Ava, with visitation rights for Richie. She also wants the court to enforce a prenup they signed on December 14, 1994, which is the day before they married.

But that's probably the most info we'll ever know about their divorce.

That Lance Armstrong is such a do-gooder.

After kicking Sheryl Crow to the curb days before she was diagnosed with cancer, Lance is trying to redeem his tarnished reputation by talking to the press about how he's comforting Christopher and Dana Reeve's orphaned son, Will.

"I would say that his spirits were pretty good considering that, in the last 18 months, he's lost his father, his mother and his grandmother," cancer survivor Lance told Inside Edition.

Lance, who became close to the boy after Dana was diagnosed with lung cancer last summer, says he just loves hanging out with the teen.

"I never thought I'd say that about a 13-year-old, but he's a great kid," says the father of three. "He's a big sports fan. He's an athlete himself. Will is not your normal 13-year-old. He's a smart, well-adjusted, mature, humble kid."

I think it's nice of Lance to look out for the kid, who needs all the love and attention that he can get. But is it necessary to then tell reporters about his "goodwill"? I think it's cooler when people do good things and don't draw attention to it. It's more honorable than, say, bragging about it to Inside Edition.

Aspiring designer Chloe Dao sewed up a victory on last night's season finale of Project Runway.

In a surprise victory, Chloe bested fellow finalists Santino Rice and Daniel Vosovic after they staged presentations of their collections during New York Fashion Week. The runway segment was taped in February when Fashion Week took place.

Chloe's elegant 13-piece presentation included gowns with open backs, lots of edgy cutouts and puffed sleeves.

As the winner, Chloe receives $100,000 toward launching a fashion line, a mentorship from Banana Republic designers, a layout in Elle and a 2007 Saturn. She said she plans to stay in Houston, where she runs a boutique, while she designs her line.

In a post-finale interview she said: "People are going to hate me, but I'm really happy with my life and I'm really happy I'm the winner and I'm really going to try to make something out of it, but am I going to be the next Vera Wang or Ralph Lauren? I don't know."

Did Chloe deserve to win? Are you looking forward to season three? Talk about the finale.

Dating: Martha Stewart has been gushing about a new boyfriend lately. Who is he? A computer software guru named Charles Simonyi. They have been friends since 1997 and, more importantly, he's rich as hell. He's worth a little more than she is.

Scheduled: Coping with post-award show season let down? Cheer up -- yesterday it was announced that the MTV Movie Awards will air on June 8.

Sentenced: David Hasselhoff has pleaded no contest to driving under the influence and was ordered to enroll in an alcohol program for six months. Also, his estranged wife has accused him of abusing her... Boy George was sentenced to community service and drug rehab after pleading guilty to falsely reporting a break-in at his NYC apartment last fall. He avoided coke possession charges by entering his guilty plea.

Awarded: The frightful Duchess of Cornwall, who loves those tacky feather hats, joined Kate Moss and Naomi Watts on Tatler mag's top 10 list of British "fashion icons" of 2005. Forget all the rubbish about bad teeth -- I think the Brits have bad eyesight.

Obsessed: While leaving court for yet another appearance on drug charges, Pete Doherty reaffirmed his obsession with Kate Moss, with whom he split last fall. Surrounded by photogs as he got into his gold Jaguar, he took a pen and wrote "I love Kate 4 eva" on the windshield before driving off. Can the bobbies arrest him again for being so friggin' annoying?

U2 has postponed the Asia-Pacific leg of their world tour due to a family illness, their promoter said Thursday.

"This action is unavoidable due to the illness of an immediate family member of one of the band," tour promoter Arthur Fogel said on their official Web site. "Any fan of U2 will realize that this decision has not been taken lightly. We will announce further details as soon as we have them."

Although the statement gave no details of the nature of the illness or the band member whose relative was sick, there have been unconfirmed reports that The Edge's 8-year-old daughter, Sian, has leukemia. At last month's Grammys, the guitarist dedicated one of the band's awards to the girl.

I don't know if it's true or not, but just the thought of a sick little girl makes me teary.

Add Page Six to the gossip sources suggesting that Britney is pregnant with baby number two.

In today's column it says: "The bulge she's sporting along a beach in Maui looks more like baby than babyfat... The Post's Marsha Kranes reports the buzz is spreading as fast as her belly. So far, there's no word from those close to her and hubby Kevin Federline. But there's that growing evidence -- and no apparent effort being made to hide it with a less-revealing swimsuit."

If it's true, this will be Kevin "the Human Sperminator" Federline's 87th child.

Last week there was a photo making the rounds of Uma Thurman getting a kiss from her hotelier boyfriend, Andre Balazs. Business as usual, right? Wrong. While he was planting one on her outside Italian eatery Da Silvano in NYC, she was looking off into the distance totally uninterested. Well there's a good reason why she wasn't into the smooch: They were about to split up.

Yesterday, Uma's publicist released a statement saying that "unfortunately, it is true" that they split and, of course, they will "remain close friends."

Page Six reports that Uma and Andre split because he didn't want to get married.

Wonder if her ex-hubby, Ethan Hawke, is gonna try and win her back. I bet the biggest mistake of his life was cheating on Uma. Whenever he comes out of hiding, he looks so gaunt and unhappy.

Do you think Uma should reunite with Ethan? Which other stars could you see her dating? Play matchmaker for the Kill Bill bombshell below.

I was out late last night watching the Subways -- and I'm off today -- so I'm going to cut to the chase and give you the hottest headlines:

More later!

The rumors that Britney is pregnant again just won't quit. Here are photos of the poptart -- with and without her extensions -- over the weekend in Maui.

And here are two of the latest stories:

I am by no means a pregnancy expert, but my cousin Karen -- mom of two -- told me last night that she thinks Brit is expecting. She thinks that there's a fullness to her face and body that you don't get from just putting on a few extra pounds.

What do you think? Weigh in.

Here are some pictures from Britney's upcoming episode of Will & Grace, which airs March 30. She plays Jack's Christian conservative sidekick on the episode "Buy Buy Baby." The plot centers around "Out TV" getting bought by a Christian TV network and Britney's character, Tina-Louise, is brought on to be Jack’s new religious co-host... until Will and Jack loosen her up.

How do you think Britney's lookin'? Are you going to watch the episode?

As predicted, The Bachelor: Paris sweethearts Travis Stork and Sarah Stone have bid au revoir to one another.

In a joint interview with the Tennessean yesterday, the Nashville residents said that they are no longer a couple. It's the first time they spoke publicly since the finale of the show.

So what happened? Travis blames the show rules that prohibited them from being together between the end of the taping in November and the finale on February 27.

"You're in Paris and you're part of this incredible experience, this fantasy world, and then suddenly you come back to Nashville, and living in the same city I think we thought was going to be a great thing," he said. "But instead, you're forced to pretend you don't know someone, for essentially the last four months... You grow apart."

The former couple said they've agreed to stay friends -- they even had dinner Sunday night.

"[We] realized that it was a great experience in Paris and that we're so lucky to have met one another," said Sarah, "and we'll never forget that. And we both agree and know that we'll be friends forever."

Both Sarah and Travis say they're unattached. But when asked if they might reconnect romantically six months from now after publicity has died down, both just laughed.

No word on if he's tried to get in touch with Moana, who is the gal most viewers -- including yours truly -- think he should have picked.

Related: The Bachelor's Travis & Sarah Are Not Talking

The Bachelor Chooses Sarah

When the Donald isn't bad-mouth Martha Stewart or watching his ratings drop, he's sweating his daughter.

Yesterday while appearing on The View, the Apprentice mastermind announced that, if he weren't her father, he'd want to date his daughter Ivanka.

"Who are you, Woody Allen?" View cohost Joy Behar shot back.

Here's what happened: Donald and Ivanka were guests on the talk show to plug Ivanka's appearances on this season of Apprentice. During the spot, Donald was asked how he'd react if Ivanka posed for Playboy. He said he'd be okay with it depending on how risque the spread was. That's when he made a comment about her figure and announced: "I've said if she wasn't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her."

I don't care if my dad was George Clooney -- I'd be creeped out if he joked about dating me or made weird comments about my body.

The Donald gives me hives.

Star couples were out in full force on Oscar night. Here's the latest...

In other relationship news...

I love when stars give credence to the accuracy of gossip columns -- it makes me feel like I'm not wasting my time as I pore over the stories each day.

Today's Page Six runs a snippet from an upcoming Rolling Stone interview with indie actress Chloe Sevigny in which she gives the NY Post's gossip column props.

When asked to list her guilty pleasures, she says: "Tabloids. Page Six. They're horrible, but they're really addictive. And I believe that almost all of it is true. Sadly. Everything that I've read that has to do with anyone I've ever known has been pretty spot on."

Score one for the gossipmongers.

Madonna says she had a lotta 'splain' to do to her daughter, Lourdes, after kissing Britney at the 2003 MTV VMAS.

In the April issue of Out, Madonna says that Lourdes has asked her about "the kiss."

"[Lourdes] is really obsessed with who is gay," says Madge. "And she even asked, 'Mom, you know they say that you are gay?' And I'm, 'Oh, do they? Why?' And she says, 'Because you kissed Britney Spears.' And I said, 'No, it just means I kissed Britney Spears. I am the mommy pop star and she is the baby pop star. And I am kissing her to pass my energy on to her."

Oh, so that's what that was about: passing energy. I always thought of it as a publicity stunt.

Lourdes was actually at the VMAs the year of the liplock. She opened the number -- a medley of "Like a Virgin" and "Hollywood" -- by running onstage in a wedding dress with another little girl, throwing petals from a basket.

Madonna also says that her 9-year-old likes to guess who's gay: "Oh, and the other thing she likes to do when we go out, she says, 'Mom, do you want me to point out who the gay men are?' And I say, 'Okay, but I think I already know.'"

It's so much more exciting to be a kid these days. When I was 9, the only games I played were board games like Sorry! and Life. The "Guess Who's Gay" game must not have been patented back then.

Arrested: Singer Yanni was arrested at his home on Friday after an alleged domestic dispute with his galpal. After an nasty blow up, the Yanster kicked told his girlfriend to hit the road. But as she packed her clothing, the crazed singer reportedly took her clothing and threw it all over the place. Then things reportedly turned physical. Yanni used to date Linda Evans.

Passage: Baseball Hall of Famer Kirby Puckett, who played for the Minnesota Twins, died on Monday after suffering a stroke. He was 45.

Legal News: Wonder if Rod Stewart thinks he's so sexy today. The singer -- and new father -- has been ordered to cough up more than $3 million bucks for canceling a show at a Vegas casino in 2000. Now who's going to pay for Kim Stewart's facelift?

Ratings: Viewers did not tune in for the Oscars on Sunday night -- despite appearances by big stars like Jennifer Aniston. I bet the ratings would have soared had they gotten Brad and Angelina.

Actress Dana Reeve, wife of the late Christopher Reeve, died of lung cancer on Monday. She was 44.

Last August, Dana was forced to announce that she had been diagnosed with cancer after the National Enquirer planned to run a story on her illness. Shortly after in an interview she said the the tumor was responding to treatment and was shrinking.

Although her late husband was known for playing Superman, Dana was like superwoman. After her husband was paralyzed in a horse-riding accident in 1996, she became a major activist for spinal cord research while she helped care for him, raise their only son and maintain her acting career. Christopher died in October of 2004.

On January 12, Dana made her last major public appearance at Madison Square Garden in NYC. She sang a song to honor NY Rangers great Mark Messier.

Dana is survived by a teenage son, Will, and two stepchildren, Matthew and Alexandra.

Here are the latest celebrity sightings from the members of my gossy posse...

Think the party ended when Jon Stewart said Good Night, and Good Luck? No way. That's when the real fun began. Here are photos from the hottest Oscar parties -- and the most eligible bachelors and single starlets working their Hollywood magic.

Dig in!

I always get a billion questions after the Oscars. Are they really dating? What was she wearing? Is it true... To head some of them off at the pass -- and to ensure I catch up on my beauty sleep after pulling an all-nighter -- I've put together a list of answers for the burning questions I know I'm going to get. Start here...

1. Why do Felicity Huffman's costars call her Flicka?
In short? It's her nickname. Here's a longer explanation: The youngest of eight kids, Felicity's family members called her Flicka growing up and it just stuck. In some of her early roles, she was actually credited as Flicka Huffman. And even her hubby, William H. Macy, calls her by her nickname. Of their first meeting he told 60 Minutes: "Our friend said, 'There's this girl who's gonna be in your class. You're gonna love her. Her name is Flicka Huffman.'" I guess it was love at first sight -- bad nickname and all.

2. Is Nicole Kidman getting married?
It looks that way. Since last fall, Nic has been wearing a h-u-g-e diamond. There's been talk of a wedding later this month. But what seals the deal for me is their public appearances. In February, she went with him to the Grammys. Last night, he was her date for the Oscars. Though they skipped the red carpet at the Academy Awards, they sat together and then hit the parties together. It must be love.

3. Are Teri Hatcher and George Clooney dating?
Probably. Last night, when best supporting actor George was in the press room, he was asked if he's dating Teri. His answer? "I don't discuss my private life." Okay then -- I'll have to speculate. Since the SAG Awards, where they were photographed thisclose chatting, there have been rumors they're dating. And have you seen her lately? Ole girl is beaming. Last night at the Vanity Fair party you couldn't wipe the smile from her botoxed face. But George is a bachelor and will always be a bachelor -- he's made no secret of that fact. I bet Teri will eventually want to find a more stable man for her daughter, Emerson.

4. Is Charlie Theron still with Stuart Townsend?
Maybe, but I predict trouble in paradise. Although they have been a steady Hollywood couple for years, I think there's something going on with Stuart Townsend and Charlize Theron. It's suspicious that he's been absent from every award show this year. (And for those of you who are going to tell me "He's working," I don't buy it. He's working every Sunday night in 2006? No way. If he wanted to be there, he would.) Stuart has always escorted his pretty gal pal on the red carpet -- always, always, always. So it's rather strange that he hasn't been around at all this year.

5. Is it just me or are Jack Nicholson's girlfriends getting younger and younger?
It's just you. While Jaaaack does have something for younger ladies (see Lara Flynn Boyle), his date last night was his 15-year-old daughter, Lorraine. Her mom is model Rebecca Broussard.

6. Why were Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves holding hands on the red carpet?
One word: publicity. The Speed costars have a new movie coming out in June called The Lake House. Not to mention that they're friends, having kept in touch all these years. Additionally, Sandra and her husband, Jesse James, aren't big on the red carpet PDA photo ops. So Sandy walked the carpet with Keanu, then met Jesse later at the Vanity Fair party.

7. Was that a tattoo on the back of Jessica Alba's neck?
You betcha. The first-time presenter had her hair up in such a way that you could see the"love bug tattoo" on the back of her neck. Jessica explained that her mother, aunt and cousin all went together to get tattoos as a sign of solidarity. However, she seemed to imply that she wished she picked a cooler design.

8. Did one of the Oscar nominees really work at Hooters?
Of course! Hollywood loves a good underdog story. You know the type I mean: Hilary Swank goes from living in a trailer park to winning two Oscars. Samuel Jackson was a crack addict. Though Amy Adams's story isn't as dramatic as Sam Jackson's, it's still interesting: Before hitting it big in Hollywood, she was a waitress at Hooters. She used the cash she made waiting on horndogs to buy a car.

9. What's up with Tom Hanks's hair?
Good question. Isn't it hideous? Not sure if it's plugs, a weave, extensions or -- gasp -- natural, but it's bad, bad, bad. But there is a method to his madness -- he's reportedly doing reshoots of The Da Vinci Code and he has to keep it long for the movie. What must Rita think?

10. Why didn't Jennifer Aniston walk the red carpet with Vince Vaughn?
Do you have to ask? One reason: Unlike Oscar winners and NCAA basketball tourney hopefuls, Jennifer Aniston doesn't want a repeat. After her split with Brad, every last word she said about Angelina's new boyfriend came back to bite her. Why put herself through that again? She'd rather live her private life outside of the public eye. And if she gets snapped smooching Vince now and then? No big deal. She's living. But she's not inviting people into her private world -- and I so don't blame her. That said, it will be interesting to see what happens at the upcoming Break Up premiere. They costarred in the flick and will have to attend the premiere. But will they make sure they're never photographed next to each other (a la Brad and Angie in Mr. and Mrs. Smith)? It depends on how seriously they are about keeping their private life private.

Think of something I haven't covered? Post your question below.

They primped! They posed! The partied! Check out photos of the Hollywood stars on parade in Best & Worst of the 2006 Academy Awards.

Find out which stars took home Academy Awards last night. Here is the Complete Winners List.

You guys know where I'll be all day on Sunday: the couch. I'm a real sicko about it. My TV will be on from noon on as I'm in and out of my apartment. I love the Oscars!

Here's what I'm looking forward to this year: First, I really want to see Jennifer Aniston, who is making her first red-carpet appearance. I'm obsessed with Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling, so I'll be checking out those young lovas. I'm dying to see if Nicole Kidman brings Keith Urban. I predict she won't... Someone said Julia Roberts is going, but I hadn't heard that, so I'll be on the lookout for her. I always love to see J.Lo and Marc Anthony together. He acts so creepy toward her...

It's the best people watching of the year!

To get you guys as psyched up about it as I clearly am, here is a little cheat sheet to a printable ballot, tons of games and lots of other fun stuff:

Can't wait to hear all your snarky comments on Monday!

According to Star, Brad Pitt has been thinking of baby names for his new arrival with Angelina Jolie. His favorites? If it's a boy, he likes James. If it's a girl, he's fond of Jess.

Could it be because his next movie is called The Assassination of Jesse James? He never was the most original thinker...

Help the Jolie-Pitts come up with some better names in Name Brad & Angelina's Baby.

And then there were 16...

Last night, Brenna Gethers, Heather Cox, David Radford and Jose "Sway" Penala got the boot on American Idol.

Highlights from the show include an appearance by last year's winner, Carrie Underwood. She sang one of her country songs about Jesus.

I think the most exciting part of the show was keeping up with what was going on with the judges. Paula and Simon continued their lover's feud. Paula -- who seemed like she was on something -- actually switched seats with Randy at one point to get away from Simon. (Junior high alert!) By the end of the show she was back in her seat and was seen rubbing up against Simon at one point.

Those two need to get a room and be done with it.

What did you think of last night's dismissals? Who do you think will be out next? Dish here...

Despite being a Without a Trace devotee, I'm no supersleuth. Meaning? I'm not exactly sure what Lindsay Lohan is doing in these personal photos -- other than making some yummy s'mores. And even if I had a magnifying glass, I'd rather not try to figure out if it's really her coke stash in the background of one of those photos.

What I do know? There's definitely a bong in photo. There's definitely a famous supermodel in another. And the rest? Well, she looks like she's just being a silly teenager, so draw your own conclusions.

The final rose has been handed out on The Bachelor: Paris, so where the heck is the lovesick, slobbery couple who found love on the reality show? They're in hiding.

Taking a different path than all of the winners before them, Travis Stork and Sarah Stone are refusing to do press. In fact, they're shunning the spotlight so much so that the good doctor, Travis, was at work at his Nashville hospital the morning after the series finale aired.

A hospital spokesperson told the local newspaper the Tennessean: "It's business as usual" for Stork until he completes his residency in July.

But is that the truth? Or could the couple be on life support.

In another article in today's Tennessean, the "ahh, shucks" kindergarten teacher is being linked to another man. The guy in question is Matt Lauderdale, who is the roommate and business partner of a local pro footballer. Apparently Sarah and Matt were "touching, hugging, flirting and looking very much like a couple" on Tuesday -- one night after the finale aired. The week before, they went to dinner and a Kid Rock concert after party. They also take 7 a.m. spin classes together at the local Y.

There's the proof they're together right there: You know that the gym is a total meet/meat market.

This is a very interesting turn of events. After all the hullabaloo about Sarah being the "good girl" -- opposed to "bad girl" Moana -- maybe, in actuality, she's not the good girl at all.

Wow -- the sappy schoolteacher suddenly got a whole lot more interesting.

At the GM fashion show the other night -- where Lindsay Lohan accidentally showed her boob -- there was a very close call for Jessica Simpson's guys: Nick Lachey and Adam Levine.

When Adam walked by Nick at the event, Nick mouthed the words "Oh my God" to the buddy he was with. But a clueless Adam didn't even notice Nick and he walked right by to his front-row seat, which was not 10 feet from where Nick was sitting.

"As soon as Adam sat down, he felt Nick's eyes shooting daggers at him," a source told the Star. "When Adam looked up and saw Nick sitting right there, Adam got this scowl on his face and didn't even crack a smile for the rest of the night."

Later, Nick pointed at Adam and made a joke to his friend that cracked them both up.

You know, I have an idea for how we can resolve this whole thing once and for all. Remember when Britney and Justin had their famous dance off after they split? Well, I want Nick and Adam to have a sing off. I think they should sing their best love songs in the highest pitch they can reach. The dude who hits the highest note wins.

The loser? Well, he should get the ever annoying Jessica for all of eternity. Poor fella.

The folks at I Don't Like You in That Way cracked me up this morning with this photo spread of Ms. Britney with her mouth agape.

Like, oh my god -- she totally needs to shut it.

A transvestite in Eddie Murphy's closet could come back to haunt him in his ongoing divorce battle.

Eddie is trying to hammer out a divorce from his wife of 13 years, Nicole Mitchell. They called it quits in August. But Nicole's new lawyer is considering arguing that Eddie invalidated their prenup agreement when he was pulled over in West Hollywood in 1997 and had a transvestite prostitute in the car.

In a recent interview with Essence, Nicole said the incident is always in the back of her mind. "[Eddie] told me there was this person on the corner crying, so he stopped to help. But I'm thinking, 'Well, why the hell did you let them get in the car?' "

Whether or not Nicole's lawyers play the transvestite card, she is going to get a lot of money. They were married for 13 years (a century in Hollywood time) and they have a crapload of kids.

On a side note, I watched Coming to America a billion times over the week at my friend's place. Remember when Eddie was funny? When he was good, he was very, very good.

After a two year break from the spotlight, Meg Ryan -- and her ridiculously enhanced lips -- appeared on Oprah yesterday to talk about being a new mom and the failure of her marriage. Of course my DVR mysteriously didn't tape, so here are some highlights for both of us:

On her hiatus from H-wood: "It was definitely time to take a break and just regroup and see where I was," she said. "I've been an actress and famous person since I was 19 years old. I just needed to be with my son and figure out my life and see what I wanted."

I hate when actors call themselves "famous." Don't know why, but it really just irks me.

On adopting a daughter from China: "I already had to change her name. I thought she was Charlotte and she's just not... she's a Daisy. She's got the most open, beautiful, honest face you'll just ever see."

On her divorce from Dennis Quaid amidst rumors she was having an affair with Russell Crowe: "[Russell] wasn't a home wrecker, but he took a lot of heat for that. He had a lot of grace, frankly, about not talking about things that he knew were going on in my marriage, and I always will be very grateful to him for that."

Meg said her marriage was "unhealthy" for at least five years and she "probably should have left much earlier.... It was never about another man. My and Dennis's relationship just couldn't sustain."

I wonder how someone could go from Dennis Quaid to Russell Crowe. Dennis just seems so easygoing. Russell seems so gruff... and smelly.

Oh no they didn't!

Jeannette Walls asks a very important question this morning: Is Whitney Houston pregnant?

According to an interview her loser loving husband gave to Sister2Sister mag, she could be.

"I'm hoping that she's pregnant right now," said Bobby, who denied his marriage is on the rocks. "She's just resting."

But according to Whitney's mouthpiece, Bobbie is just spreading more lies, saying, "She's not pregnant."

I seriously hope she's not. Those two crack-is-whack-heads don't need to be in charge of anymore children -- other than themselves.

Related: More Trouble for Bobby & Whitney

There were rumors that control freak Tom Cruise had Katie Holmes's sex scene cut from her upcoming film Thank You for Smoking. Not so, says the director.

Jason Reitman says that projection error -- not controlling Tom -- was to blame when Katie's sex scene was missing at a Sundance screening of the flick.

"I was sitting there in the theater, the scene was missing, and my immediate thought was, 'Oh my God, Fox cut the scene out of my movie,'" the director told AP Radio in an interview. "And then I realized, 'No, if it's at the end of the reel, the projector probably just accidentally cut it out.'"

As much as I would love to report that Tom had something to do with it, Joe says it just ain't so.

"That's a fun story. I'd read that story. The problem is that it's not true," he said. "The problem with 'projection error' is that it's the truth but it sounds like a lie. It sounds an awful lot like 'wardrobe malfunction.'"

The movie -- with the "tame" sex scene -- will be in theaters on March 17, which is around the time Katie will reportedly give birth.

We aren't the only ones addicted to the Brad, Angelina, Jennifer love triangle.

According to Page Six, Julia Roberts is addicted to the real-life soap opera as well. You see, Julia's husband, Danny Moder, was a cameraman on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, where Brad and Angie fell for each other, and Friends with Money, the film Jen made during her split with Brad. While home caring for their newborns, Julia -- a Days of Our Lives devotee -- reportedly loved to hear all the on-set split gossip from her husband.

See -- it's not just us!

It's been nearly two years since we said goodbye to Monica Geller on Friends. Now, Courteney Cox is ready to make a TV comeback!

Since Friends ended, Coco's mom has been working behind the scenes, producing various shows -- like Daisy Does America -- with her husband, David Arquette. Now, Courteney is ready to be back in front of the camera, so she's signed on to star in the FX pilot Dirt.

In the show, Courteney will play a tabloid editor named Lucy Spiller. (Funny name!) David will be one of the executive producers for the program, which will begin filming in March.

Unless it's absolutely horrible, you can bet that this show will be picked up. It's cable. There would me more competition if it was going to be on network television. Let's just hope it fares better than Lisa Kudrow's Comeback and Matt LeBlanc's Joey.

Related: Baby Time for Courteney

Winona didn't do it!

Page Six reported that Winona Ryder and Liev Schreiber were making out the other night. Today, they admit they were wrong:

"There was failure to communicate the other day when a spywitness who doesn't understand slang told us that Winona Ryder was 'canoodling' with Liev Schreiber at Von on Bleecker Street. Because we're bored with the word, we changed it to 'making out.' But Schreiber is blissfully committed to gorgeous Naomi Watts, and our source meant only that he and Ryder were talking and smiling at each other. There was no inappropriate intimacy."

Poor Winona always gets such a bad rap.

Somebody's been paying attention to her Renee Zellweger headlines.

One Tree Hill star Sophia Bush filed for annulment from her five-month marriage to her cheatin' costar Chad Michael Murray. She cited "fraud" as the reason she wants her marriage made invalid.

The couple split in September amidst rumors of infidelity. Chad was linked to numerous people during their brief union, including Paris Hilton and a stripper.

If you remember, back in September Renee started a whole big to-do when she annulled her five-month marriage to Kenny Chesney on grounds of fraud. While everyone scrambled to try to figure out what exactly the fraud was (did she find out he was bald under that 10-gallon hat?), she released a statement saying that the term "fraud" was just legal language and did not imply anything about Kenny's character.

Renee must have been serious because she still hangs with Kenny now and then. Don't expect the same for Chad and Sophia. Despite working together on the same set, they avoid each other as much as possible.

Add Jennifer Lopez to the list of Academy Award presenters.

So far these big stars will all be presenting on Sunday night: Jennifer Aniston, George Clooney, Nicole Kidman, Uma Thurman, Clint Eastwood, Jamie Foxx, Jessica Alba, Queenie Latifah, Reese Witherspoon, Naomi Watts, Meryl Streep, Hilary Swank and, as I mentioned, J.Lo -- if Marc Anthony will agree to let her out of his sight for a few minutes.

Today, Page Six reports that all presenters will all receive gift baskets with an estimated $100,000 worth of loot. One of the freebies? A $25,000 lux vacation package at a hotel in Waikiki.

Hey, Academy: I can fill in if just in case anyone passes out from malnutrition. Call me!

Related: Play the Oscar Gift Bag Goodies Guessing Game