Was Britney channeling Jessica Simpson in Dukes of Hazzard last night in Will & Grace or has she been watching too many episodes of Hee Haw and eating Cheetos on her maternity leave? The Southern Belle act was a little too thick, and the hair just a little too much…

Although, the whole thing was oddly fitting -- Britney coming to guest star on a lackluster show long past its prime that's not even making any bones about being on its last legs. With only a few episodes left, Will & Grace might think it's going out with a bang -- lots of celeb guest stars, thickening the plot and all of that -- but is anyone watching anymore? Even Joey is making bigger headlines, but maybe that's only because people keep thinking any mention of the show is going to announce its demise (see the news on Matt LeBlanc earlier today).

How do you rate Britney's performance last night? Did you even watch?

Brad and Jen have divested of one more asset from their relationship: their Malibu mansion. The huge house sold for $22.5 million according to People.com. It had been on the market at $28 million for several months. Guess even scandal doesn't help in a soft housing market.

Juicy details are emerging from Naomi Campbell's tirade against her maid. It wasn't just a phone, a la Russell Crowe, that she threw at her maid, injuring her, it was a Blackberry. And not just any Blackberry – this one was encrusted in Swarovsky crystals. Ouch. That's gotta hurt. Naomi accused the woman of stealing and beat her about the head. The judge let her keep her passport so she could go on a charity mission to South Africa with Nelson Mandela. An ambassador of good will? We think not..

Meanwhile, Christian Slater is acting as something of a love ambassador in England, where he is working on a play. Page Six reports he's romancing a British reality TV star from one of their modeling shows. She doesn't like cheaters, apparently, but her online profile says nothing about butt-gropers.

In other international news, Rolling Stone published its first edition in China. No word on whether Jann Wenner is going to storm over there and sort out the situation. Maybe they should have started with Us Weekly, instead.

And, finally, the breaking news of the century: People.com has new pics of Nicole Richie cavorting with former flame DJ AM. As if we hadn't figured out already that they were back together. The whole thing was probably just a ruse to get Paris Hilton to break up with her boyfriend, since Paris seems to want to top everything that Nicole does.

George Clooney's latest cause? Taking on the gossip site Gawker.com for its new use of Google maps to post celebrity sightings. George thinks this is a dangerous business, and he's urging celebs and their flaks to flood the site with fake sightings – not a boycott, mind you. Think Gawker will mind? Traffic is traffic.

Meanwhile, Clooney's other contribution to world stability – the auction of his Oscar gift bag for charity – finished up. The winner, an unnamed family from Birmingham, paid $45,100 for the swag, which included coffee, a year of Vonage phone service, Tahitian pearls and lots of other goodies. The total gift bag worth was well over $100,000, so why the low bids? There's a little clause that goes with most of the big-ticket items in these gift bags that the celebs have to use them in person, but this one had an exception. You'd think somebody would have put up more cash

The big question is whether or not Clooney, in all his charitable fervor, will claim this as a tax write-off. The government is thinking of cracking down on celebrity swag by making the stars claim it as income. Would these guys show up so readily as presenters at award shows if they had to cough up cash for those free phones and designer jeans? Would we miss them?

Hey guys,
I'm in need of some R&R, so I'm taking today off. But I don't want to leave you without your gossip fix (you need it -- it's Friday!), so you'll have your very own guest blogger today -- Beth. I know you'll love her... just make sure you miss me a little while I'm gone. ;)

Enjoy the weekend!
Suzy

The only Matt LeBlanc news I was expecting was that his show, Joey, was getting canceled. For now, Joey is safe... but Matt LeBlanc's marriage isn't.

Access Hollywood reports that Matt LeBlanc is going to file for divorce from his wife of three years, Melissa McKnight.

Here's the press release that Matt's mouthpiece released to AH:

"Melissa and Matt LeBlanc have decided to end their marriage of three years. The dissolution is amicable. They remain devoted parents and friends. For the sake of their family, they ask that their privacy be respected at this time."

The couple reportedly split on January 1 -- around the time Joey was taken off the air for a this-show-sucks-so-we-have-to-decide-what-to-do-with-it hiatus. They have a daughter, Marina, 2, and Melissa has two children from a previous marriage.

Although Matt and Missie have been together in 1997, last year rumors of problems surfaced when Matt made a bizarre confession about how he almost cheated on Melissa with a stripper. Since then, times have been rough for him professionally -- his show tanked and he's reportedly very frustrated about it.

I'm sure his old Friend Jen can give him some advice on getting through this difficult time.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell just loves belting her employees.

The diva was arrested again earlier today for reportedly assaulting one of her staffers. The incident took place at the mannequin's New York City home and the victim was her 42-year-old personal assistant.

Right now, Naomi is sitting at a New York City jailhouse pending charges, while the injured assistant was reportedly taken to the hospital.

"She had a laceration to her head, so she was clearly hit with some sort of object," said a police spokeswoman.

However, Naomi's mouthpiece released this statement:

"We believe this is a case of retaliation, because Naomi had fired her housekeeper earlier this morning. We are confident the courts will see it the same way."

In the past, Naomi has been accused of assaulting another personal assistant (with a phone), a model and her maid.

Can you say anger management?

Related: Take the Celebrity Jailbirds Quiz

For some reason, Christy Turlington has been keeping quiet about the arrival of her second child, who made his debut back in February. It hasn't been in the news at all. Perhaps she's trying to get back into pre-baby shape before she's back in the headlines? Who knows...

Anyway, iVillage interviewed the supermodel-turned-designer -- who also has a daughter Grace with her filmmaker husband Edward Burns -- for an upcoming Mother's Day story and she opened up about the little fella, who they named Finn. Here's a snippet:

"Grace loves being a big sister. She had been waiting nine months to see who was inside my belly... and now she has him!"

Christy, who married Ed in 2003, is still designing a line of yoga clothes for Puma called Nuala.

Here's the latest Idol recap from my BFF Jewels. Enjoy...

Okay, did I hear that right? Next sing-off is country week? Gag. Don't they already have a show for country sangers. I don't want to see Ace do country. And why in the hell was he in the bottom three again? Ace, I got your back next week, baby. Yee-haw! Who's with me?

Country? That means Kellie and Bucky will be safe for another week, dang. Once more, they scared Bucky to DEATH when it came down to one more person in the bottom three. And it was... Katharine??? They keep doing that to the poor guy. It looked like Bucky was in as much disbelief as Katharine. Katharine??? I mean Katharine??? Wow! Total shocker. Are the voters feeling okay out there -- a little McFever going around?

I was seriously sad for Lisa. She's so sweet -- an excellent talent! And as Ryan said, the bravest contestant he's seen on A.I. It was inevitable though. Even she knew it. Amazingly, they didn't cut Lisa off and let her sing the entire song in the end. It's about time! She sounded good the whole way through too.

After noticing Kevin last week as the "star" of the Ford commercial, I watched last night and yep, they focused a lot on Lisa: putting the quarter in the meter, riding the ice cream cart, and giving the juice pop to that one guy on the street. We'll have to see if they do that to the loser again next week. Maybe we're on to something.

The crew got a sneak peek at Ice Age: The Meltdown. I got a kick out of Mandisa identifying with Ellie cause she's -- "representin' for the big girls." Wonder if there's a fetish with the animated elephant's feet too?

Shakira has amazing control of her body. Insane. And how funny was Wyclef -- singing in Simon's mug. That smarmy smile. Ya know, Simon got on my nerves more than Paula this week. And I like Simon. He's being a little wishy-washy.

Idol ring tones? Get out. You mean I could have "Butterflies" as my ring tone? Give me a video of it and I'll switch carriers today!

Oh yeah, the photo shoot of the Idols... Anyone know where can I get my hands on Ace's?

Until next week...
J

To read her recap of Tuesday's show, click here.

Plus: Despite recent speculation that Paula is "on something," she's inked a deal with the show for three more years. Let the crazy talk continue...

Nicollette Sheridan has one bitter ex-lover on her hands.

Nicklas Soderblom, who Nicollette was engaged to until October, says that the Desperate Housewives star may play a sexy siren on TV, but in real life she's a total dud.

"I guess she's sexy on screen, but definitely not in a real-life relationship," Nicklas told the London Mirror. "She uses her sexuality to get what she wants and as soon as the ring is on her finger, she stops wanting to have sex. She's afraid of commitment."

He also sends a warning to Nicollette's new fiance, Michael Bolton, who she reunited with just weeks after things with Soderblom went south.

"I feel sorry for Michael," Nicklas said, "because I think he really loves her. But I know there's no way in hell a relationship is going to work with Nicollette Sheridan."

Sound like somebody's having a hard time getting over this breakup... and clearly it ain't Nicollette, who has a fatty new diamond on her finger.

Kevin Federline is on my last nerve.

Tuesday, Britney Spear's slacker/sperminator husband put out a press release announcing the name of his new hip-slop album: Playing with Fire.

"The inspiration and meaning behind the title, Playing With Fire, is self-explanatory. I'm excited about this album and am looking forward to continuing my promotional club tour in support of it and seeing the firsthand reaction of my fans listening to my songs for the first time. My album is sure to set the dance floors across the world on fire!"

Seriously, this madness must stop. Why is this kid famous? For bedding Britney Spears? This entitles him to magazine covers, a music career and... press releases? Puh-leez.

Further, I demand to know who K-Fed's so-called "fans" are. Seriously. I want names and phone numbers of these individuals because I don't believe that they could possibly exist. And if they do, I'd like to refer them to my physician -- stat.

Someone please stop this ridiculous. I mean, this greaseball was funny to laugh at in the beginning, but now I need him to go away.

No more cornrows. No more unlaced high-tops. No more wife beaters. No more pimped out Yankees caps. No more K-Fed!

Thank you.

PS -- Justin Timberlake agrees with me. According to the Star, he thinks Kevin is "gross."

At lunch yesterday, I was complaining to my friend Natalie about how one of my sisters always sees celebs out and about in the city. Unless I'm at an event, I rarely do. "I just don't think we pay attention," I told her. "We're in our own little worlds." Fast-forward five minutes. We leave the restaurant, and I go back upstairs to my office. Nat starts walking uptown toward the theater district to her office... Here, I'll let her tell you the rest of the story:

"Natalie here. Okay, so I leave the restaurant, which is on Seventh Ave. between 37th and 38th, after finishing my marvelous lunch with Suzy. As I'm standing on 38th St. waiting to cross, I look at all the people around me and there stands -- very high at that -- Wheeling, West Virginia's own John Corbett.

"Having grown up in the same section of Wheeling as Corbett -- called Warwood -- I look at him and, in all my dorkiness, say: 'Warwood in the house.' He looks back and says, 'What?' I go, 'I'm from Warwood.' He can't believe it.

"We start talking and I tell him how we actually barhopped once together in Wheeling, and I took him to Cappones, our local tavern. He's kind and acts like he remembers... but I know he doesn't. But when I tell him my name, he immediately asks about my brother Jim, who he remembers.

"We just keep chatting and he ends up walking me all the way back to my office on 47th Street. On the way, we pass through those dudes selling comedy tickets in Times Square. One guy's line is: 'Do you like comedy?' Corbett responds with, 'No, no, no, no way.' Then the guy looked up, notices it's him and says, 'Hey, you're that one guy.' That was pretty funny.

"He talks about how he hasn't been in NYC for over a year -- and now he's in town promoting a new country album. This Friday, he's playing the Cutting Room, which happens to be owned by his old "nemesis," Chris Noth. (You remember: Aidan vs. Mr. Big on Sex and the City?) He's also going to be on The View and Emeril doing promotion.

"Next thing you know, we're standing outside my building. He gives me a big hug -- just like Carrie Bradshaw used to get. I wished him luck with the album, promised to buy a copy and headed back to work.

"See what happens when I finally pay attention to the people around me?"

And here's one more sighting...

"I saw Mike Myers," reports Lauren. "On Saturday night he was out with an eclectic mix of young downtown hipster types at meatpacking club R&R. He was really nice and chatting up anyone who came by to gawk at him -- my friends included!"

Am I the only one who thinks there's something wrong with the fact that Teri Hatcher and Ryan Seacrest are dating?

Ugh!

In the new Us Weekly, there are photos of them making out. Yes, I said making out. Oh, and during the tonguing, she's wearing a trucker hat that says American Idol on it.

Us reports that the couple "engaged in some very public displays of affection" during dinner at Neptune's Net restaurant in Malibu on March 25. Then they strolled down the beach, stopping to smooch on a rock.

I need to know how a woman can go from Clooney to Seacrest? From a man's man... to a girly man. From a Hollywood heartthrob to... a reality TV host.

It's not really Ryan's fault. I like him. He's fine. I think the problem is Teri. I feel like no matter who she's with, I won't like them together. She just gets under my skin.

Can you think of a better match for the Hatch? Post your suggestions below.

The latest Idol recap from Jewels... Enjoy!

Working in government, all around me here yesterday was the buzz of counting down to an on-time budget. Not me, I was counting down to Ace Young time. Priorities. Budgets are overrated anyway.

Was that Debbie Gibson in the audience... and Christy Swanson? Doesn't Swanson have a marriage to wreck or something? Has Debbie Deborah Debbie had a song out in the 21st century? I guess their whole connection to Fox with Skating with Celebrities scored them some tickets.

The contestants had some great songs to choose from in the past 6 years, but for the most part -- didn't.

Uh-oh... The straight-haired Lisa Tucker was having some trouble spots last night. Did anyone notice that she sounded off-key every time she said the word "you" or the word or words following the word "you"? Why in the world would she pick that song? Oh well, "Hakuna Matata." Broadway here she comes! I enjoyed Lisa, but it's her time to go tonight.

Speaking of questionable song choices, "Soaps Suds in a Bucket" -- need I say more? Except I want to -- was it my TV or did Kellie's cheeks look chubbers? I sneaked off to watch it at work, a different screen then I was used to... actually three huge plasmas.

That came in handy for the next contestant: Ace. Surrounded by visions of Ace, I felt like I was right there with him. His eyes... I liked the style this week. I liked the shirt, that it was unbuttoned a little, and the scar -- oh my goodness! I'm with "Pauuuuuuuuula" on that one! What else, what else.. The lip lick and, yes, they established the shot in the end. It's about time! I'm glad Ace is staying sensitive. He could have juiced up that song, but that's not who he is. Simon says we're not going to remember that as a great vocal... Speak for yourself Simon. I shant forget.

Soul Patrol: Fans who were with Taylor right from the very beginning when he was a gray-haired guy in Las Vegas. Ahhh, now we finally know what that means. Last night, I was really feeling the almost pensive Taylor, although I really like the crazy guy too. He's entertaining. And his voice gave me chills with "Trouble." But what is going on? I agreed with Paula again on this one. Eeeekkkkk!

Mandiva got the crowd up like a Baptist church -- Hallelujah! Ick though, there was another foot thing: when she sang the words, Unshackle my feet. I had flashbacks of the "moist ankles" episode.

Ah-ha! I believe we'll see what's up Chris's sleeve next week. Perhaps a little Celine Dion? Ha ha! Last week, Simon was applauding him because he "refused to compromise." Now he tells him to do something different. I hate when the judges do that. Holy moly, Paula is making sense to me again here.

Katharine is exquisite. She could give Chris a run for his money. Simon thinks she almost sounds as good as Christina Aguilera. I agree.

Bucky. Ha ha ha! Good ol' Bucky "sang" the song cause he "flat out felt like it." Well the country folk sure is like it. At least he was true to his fan base and got the votes to stay in it another week. I have to hand it to him, very smooth moves. Hey, was that his twin Rocky standing in as his double?

The chick with all the moves -- Princess P. That performance was electric. I'd like to see more of this from her.

Play that funky music, Elliot. He tried what Bo Bice did last year, but with "funky white boy" flava. A style that was very original. Damn, there I go agreeing with Paula again.

Did you notice towards the end Paula got real playful and almost tricky. She'd start her critique with something that would first sound like a dig -- then twist it around to a positive. New meds?

Until tomorrow...
J

To read her recap of last Wednesday's show, click here.

Last night Julia Roberts started previews for her Broadway role in Three Nights of Rain. Before the show, she signed some autographs.

Nicole Kidman aren't hitched yet. On Friday, the duo stepped out in Nashville.

Here's the first official photo of Violet Affleck, which was taken Sunday at park in L.A. Access Hollywood reported that Jennifer approved the photo herself.

Despite rumors that their divorce is getting bitter, Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora were photographed together on Sunday taking a walk before their daughter Ava's softball game. They left separately.

Despite rumors that they returned to the States, Brangelina are still in Paris, where Brad was photographed yesterday. Check out the 'stache.

Jessica Simpson doesn't know how to cook, clean, wash her clothes or even dress herself, yet she's thinking about adopting a child.

"Nothing has been finalized yet," her flack, Rob Shuter, told the AP on Tuesday in an obvious attempt to improve his client's public image. But he added, "It is true that she's exploring options."

I so blame Angelina Jolie for this fiasco. Because Angie adopted two adorable kiddies, all the bimbonic blondes in Hollywood are going to think that this is the hottest new trend -- like the RAZR phone or a new Marc Jacobs handbag. I can just see Paris Hilton trying it next... then leaving her handlers to take care of it like she did with Tinkerbell and that monkey she brought everywhere.

Forget Jessica! I think CaCee Cobb, who is Jess's BFF and personal bitch assistant, should adopt the kid. Looks like she's going to be the one taking care of it anyway.

Watch it: Jessica Simpson thinking of kids

Buh-bye, Kristin Cavallari. Hello, Vanessa Minnillo.

According to People.com, Nick Lachey is hooking up with a gorgeous new lady: MTV and Entertainment Tonight employee Vanessa Minnillo.

On Monday, the duo were playing tonsil hockey in a curtained-off section at the W Union Square's Underbar.

"I saw tongues on skin," said an eyewitness of what People.com is calling an "R-rated bump-and-grind."

The following night they had dinner with friends, then went to another bar.

So who is Vanessa Minnillo? By day, the 25-year-old is an on-air personality for MTV 's Total Request Live and ET. The former Miss Teen USA (Nick loves pageant girls!) also dated NY Yankees superstar Derek Jeter.

Vanessa will appear in the upcoming video for Nick's new single "What's Left of Me," which is said to be about his split with Jessica. According to Us Weekly, Vanessa stands in for Jessica while Nick sings in a house similar to the home he shared with Jess during Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica. Nick watches as all the objects around him disappear -- including Vanessa.

"The song is all about changes," Vanessa told Us. "Nick is so strong. He's really putting himself out there as a musician."

Apparently strong enough to be her new man...

Reason No. 5,696 that I love David Letterman? His tribute to Paul Dana last night. Raw with emotion and looking close to tears, Dave fidgeted as he spoke about the late racer, who was on the Rahal Letterman racing team and died on Sunday. He ended with: "The other lesson that we learned here is that getting through one day does not guarantee the next. And that's something you should never let go of." Love. That. Man.

Cute couple Matt Hoover and Suzy Preston, who fell in love while filming Biggest Loser, got engaged on the Today Show this morning. Wonder if they'll have wedding cake -- or rice cakes -- at their reception.

After insulting a room full of special ed kids over the weekend, filmmaker Morgan Spurlock, famous for his documentary about about McDonalds called Super Size Me, has eaten his words.

According to Access Hollywood, while Tom Cruise was watching his son Conner play baseball on Saturday, Katie Holmes was at the Scientology Center at her baby shower.

Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck are among the stars auctioning off motorcycles for charity. The fundraiser, organized by Morgan Freeman, will benefit a planned memorial in Washington D.C. for Martin Luther King Jr.

Poor Lindsay Lohan! The teenager will have one less place to drink when she's in L.A. now that Amanda Demme's clubs Teddy's and the Tropicana are closing.

Spritz, spritz, spritz.

Sorry, that's just me spraying my Karma Guard. Apparently the spray is one of the newest trends in Hollywood. It's purified water with wild ginseng root and it's supposed to deflect bad vibes that are caused when you talk smack about other people. Which, ironically, I happened to do all day.

Celebrity fans include Oprah, Martha Stewart and Elton John, who are said to each carry a bottle with them at all times. I'm sure Elton goes through a case a week with all his tirades.

Now that Daily Blabber is a video too, I think I'll need to place a double order!

Hope it works.

Hi guys,

I wanted to be the first to introduce the Daily Blabber Video Blog.

Beginning today, the Daily Blabber will also run once a week in video format. You'll be able to find it on iVillage's main entertainment video page or I'll post a link right here for you weekly.

So why should you watch it? Well, for one thing, the video is going to be different from what you read here each day. I'm looking at it as an added bonus -- a few more juicy gossip morsels to have in your arsenal when you're talking Hollywood at lunch with coworkers -- or at brunch with pals.

I'm also going to incorporate you guys into it. As I always do, I'm going to be reading all of your comments to see what you guys are talking about -- who you're digging... and dissing. And I'm going to use your comments when I can -- the good, the bad and the ugly -- because you guys are so smart, sarcastic and snarky. I already started doing that this week, so you'll have to see if you got a mention.

Also of note, clearly I'm not trying to be Nancy O'Dell. (Though I'd kill to have those gams for just a day...) I'm just trying to do my thing and, hopefully, give you a laugh or two.

If you have any suggestions, questions, comments or the like, feel free to post below or shoot me an email.

I hope you like it.

Suzy

To the delight of women everywhere, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle and Andy Garcia have signed on for Ocean's Thirteen.

Yesterday, Warner Brothers announced that the boyz would be back together for a third film in Oceans Eleven series, which has earned more than $800 million worldwide. In the flicks, George's Danny Ocean heads up a pack of thieves who are specialists in crime. In the first movie, they pulled off a heist at a Las Vegas hotel; in the second, they planned three hits in Europe.

So who won't be back? The ladies. Julia Roberts, who was in the first two, declined to appear because of a scheduling conflict. Catherine-Zeta Jones, who appeared in Oceans Twelve, won't be back either. Perhaps too many divas?

The new gal on the block will be Ellen Barkin, who needs work because she just got dumped by Revlon zillionaire Ronald Perelman.

The movie, which will take place and L.A. and Vegas, begins shooting in July.

Hold off on ordering that bridesmaid dress.

Jennifer Aniston tells Access Hollywood that she and her ex-hubby Brad Pitt are not in a race to see who makes it to the altar first.

"They're so hilarious," Jen said of reports she's going to marry beau Vince Vaughn. "I mean they do start to get comical after a while. I'm apparently having an $8 million wedding. There's the guest list, there's the china, there’s the food. Everything's been broken down. It's a race! Who will win?"

And, again, she reiterates that she doesn't like to be looked at as the victim in her split with Brad.

"You don't want it to ever come off like you don't appreciate people's concerns, but there's just no need, it's a long time passed," Jen explained. "I never was a victim in any of it, so I don't like the word, and I don't like sort of being portrayed that way, the way things get twisted."

Unfortunately, she didn't weigh in on the whole dispute with her former roommate. I mean, I've really been wondering if she used to give herself bikini waxes on the couch or if the whole lipo thing was true. I guess I'll have to wait until the next time she spills her guts.

Right now is a crucial time in Jen's career. After a string of movie flops, her next flick, Friends with Money, opens on April 7. Let's hope that she shows the big-screen magic that she's been lacking in her last pictures, which were all pretty disappointing.

Are you going to see her new film? Are you tired of reading about her? Maybe you're over her but just can't help yourself? Share your opinion below.

Marky Mark is a daddy dad.

According to WENN, reps for Mark Wahlberg have confirmed that his longtime girlfriend, Rhea Durham, gave birth to their son last week. The little fella, who the couple planned to name Michael after Mark's father, joins his big sister, Ella Rae. Other details are scarce, but reports indicate that the model gave birth at Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.

To keep up with the Hollywood baby boom, check out our Celebrity Baby Tracker. To find out more about Rhea's pregnancy, check out her page in our Celebrity Baby Tracker: Graduates.

Everyone else is talking about Star Jones's boobs, so it's only fitting that she weigh in as well.

On The View today, Star called in from her vacation to set the record straight about her boob job gone wrong.

"I had a boob lift," Star told her costars. "I thought it would be nice to call you guys this morning and keep you abreast of the situation."

Star went on to explain that she didn't "almost die" as was reported. She required a blood transfusion due to complications.

"You guys know I'm anemic," she said. "We've talk about it on the show. I did need blood [and] I was prepared... Literally, I was fine right afterwards. I was completely awake while getting my [transfusion]."

As for her new ta-tas, Star says that they're just "normal boobs. It's not that I went and got triple Ds... Friday was my 44th birthday, but my boobs think they are still 20."

Well, that's the chest news I've heard all day.

According to Page Six, Paris Hilton is officially single again. She split with her richy rich boyfriend Stavros Niarchos a month before his 21st birthday -- when he stands to inherit $275 million.

See, she really isn't smart.

Anyway, you know Paris can't be without a man for a nanosecond, so let's play matchmaker for her. Who should her next victim boyfriend be? Should he be famous this time? Rich or poor? Young or old? Smart or... Paris?

Share your thoughts -- naughty and nice -- below.

You can't say Britney Spears and Kevin Federline don't love the little people.

While celebrating Kevin's birthday at Tao in Vegas last week, Britney had two midgets carry out her husband's birthday cake.

The following night, the Federlines returned to the hot spot for a special performance Britney arranged for the birthday boy. So what was the big act? First, a Cher impersonator appeared to belted out "If I Could Turn Back Time." Then, a midget Sonny Bono impersonator joined "Cher" onstage to sing "I Got You Babe."

The things that amuse people....

Moving: Jessica Simpson is making another big change in her life. She's switching record companies. After six years with Columbia, she's divorcing them to make the jump to Epic.

Baby News: Chris O'Donnell, who used to be the toast of young Hollywood, is now the father of four. He and his wife, Caroline, welcomed a son in Hollywood on Thursday. The happy couple won't release the name of their new baby... perhaps because he still has some stalker fans from when he was popular. Or not.

Hitched: Olympic skier Jonny Moseley -- who hosts those addictive Real World/Road Rules challenges on MTV -- married his longtime girlfriend Malia Rich on Saturday in Colorado. They met in high school.

Sighting: From my gossy posse... "Spotted... Indie film queen Lili Taylor, noshing with friends at Soho House in NYC. Her new play Landscape of the Body begins at the Signature Theatre Company on March 28th." Thanks, L.

Engaged: Duane "Dog" Chapman will marry his longtime girlfriend/mother of his two kids, Beth Smith, this season on his reality series Dog the Bounty Hunter. The show premieres tomorrow night at 9pm on A&E.

Box Office Biggie: Inside Man, starring Denzel Washington and Jodie Foster, got people out over the weekend. The film was number one at the box office, making $29 million.

Legal News: David Hasselhoff's divorce is getting nastier. A judge issued a restraining order requiring the Baywatch star to stay at least 100 yards away from his estranged wife, Pamela Bach. He probably showed up at her house in his Speedo hoping to woo her back. Ugh -- what a thought.

(Not So) Special Guest:Morgan Spurlock, who was nominated for an Oscar for eating McDonalds for a month, should be eating his words... but he's not. While giving a speech at a Philly high school's health fair, he poked fun of special ed kids and dropped the F bomb. He later refused to apologize, saying "The greatest lesson those kids learned today was the importance of free speech." Perhaps those Big Macs have gone to his head?

Au revoir, Paris! Brad, Angelina, Maddox and Zahara are said to be back on U.S. soil. Love the do-rag on Z. Baby Jolie-Pitt is due May 2.

Here's Gwyneth Paltrow hiding her bump in NYC. Her baby-to-be is reportedly a boy and she's planning to call him... Mortimer. Hmmm... I don't even know what to say about that. The poor kid will make his debut in May.

Tom Cruise reenacted his famous Oprah couch jump, then manhandled Katie's stomach -- which is quite large these days -- at a Yahoo event. "Kate" is due any day now.

It's a girl for Drew and Lea Lachey!

People.com reports that the Dancing with the Stars winner (pictured with his dancing partner Cheryl Burke) welcomed his first child yesterday in L.A. According to Us Weekly, the baby's name is Isabella.

"Mom, Dad and baby are all happy and healthy," said the couple's rep.

It's a sure bet that -- despite a busy schedule -- Uncle Nick has seen little girl Lachey. A source told Us Weekly: "Nick will drop everything to be with

Brad Pitt's publicist is denying that Angelina Jolie -- or anyone else -- kicked her client's ass.

According to WENN, Brad's publicist is lashing out at reports that Brad stepped out in Paris with a bruised face and swollen lip.

On Monday, Mr. Jolie-Pitt had a four-hour dinner with a friend at a restaurant called L'Avenue restaurant. While there, patrons started buzzing that Brad looked like he'd been knocked around a la Fight Club.

Not so, says Brad's publicist. "There is nothing wrong," she told the mag. "He does not have any bruises or cuts."

More important than these mysterious bruises, why was Brad eating a four hour meal? In Us Weekly's new issue they report that Brad's been packing on some sympathy pregnancy pounds. Could these long dinners with fancy international cuisine be to blame?

He needs to get back to the land of perfect bodies (L.A., natch!) and get to work on his bod. After all, that's about 90 percent of his appeal.

Though I think she's secretly in love with Mr. Nasty (a.k.a. Simon Cowell), American Idol's wacky judge Paula Abdul has a new boyfriend.

At a boutique opening in West Hollywood on Tuesday, Paula made the scene with a hunky actor named Tony Schiena. The following night, he sat in on the taping of Idol, waving and winking to Paula from his seat like he was at a high school assembly.

So who's the beefcake? He has guested CSI:NY and appeared in The Merchant of Venice. Before he started acting, he was a big shot in the karate world.

Who knew there was a whole big "karate world"? Certainly not me, but clearly I'm strictly celeb obsessed.

In February, Paula appeared on Dr. Phil to talk about her relationship woes. The good doc set her up on 10 blind dates, but that was before she hooked with Tony.

For now, Paula is saying that they're "just friends." You know what that means...

Here's the latest in the Heather Locklear/Richie Sambora divorce...

According to People.com, Richie is asking the court to enforce the prenup they signed before their 1994 wedding and that he not have to pay spousal support. Additionally, he seeks joint custody of his 8-year-old daughter, Ava.

Interestingly, in the papers he filed he listed their separation date as December 26, which is a little over a month before Heather filed for divorce and her spokesperson announced their split. At the time, Richie claimed to have no idea about his marriage was over.

So it seems like the only thing these two are really going to duke it out over is custody of Ava. In Heather's filing, she asked for physical custody with Richie getting visitation rights.

Today's NY Daily News offers an additional nugget about the racy photos that supposedly sparked the divorce. They report that Richie's former assistant, Stephanie Heaton, sent them. In the pics, she was wearing only fishnets and boots. However, Richie wasn't the only one to get them in his inbox... Jon Bon Jovi received them too.

"I don't know why she [sent them]," a source the Daily News. "But there was nothing going on between Richie and Stephanie."