March 2007 Archives

Just like last month, Tracy and I will be debating some of the things we disagreed on this month. Read our back and forth, then tell us what you think. First up? Avril Lavigne...

Suzy: Worse than last month's obsessive love of Will Smith, this time it was your love of Avril "the Spitter" Lavigne. You love her? Really? Personally, I think she should be banished from the music world for mispronouncing rock legend David Bowie's name when she read the Grammy nominations. Then again, it's not like she's truly a musician... she's more of a lip-syncing little troll.

Tracy: Give me break! In a world of pop music tartlets, Avril is one chick who has her head on straight. She does what she wants and makes no apologies -- I find that admirable. She's managed to have a successful career without slutting around Hollywood and is, spitting aside, a strong role model for young girls.

Suzy: Check out this lovely collection of photos -- all pics of that twit totally intoxicated. Boozing, nuzzling other girls, flipping the bird, falling over... I don't know who your role models are, but I seriously question how this untalented urchin can make your list.

Tracy: She an of-age girl hanging with her friends - and in not one of those photos is her cooter uncovered. But I guess it's hard for you to see clearly when you spend all your time in the convent, Sister Suzy.

Suzy: Yes, my child, I do. And I spend most of my time praying that you'll come to your senses about Avril.

E_UsherTameka_136.jpgSomewhere Chili is boiling!

Usher -- who famously romanced and then cheated on TLC's Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas -- is settling down. According to his spokesperson, the singer/actor/dimple-er is engaged to his girlfriend, stylist Tameka Foster.

Usher tells MTV that he could be walking down the aisle before the end of the year.

Just don't let Chili find out the whens and wheres.

Celebrity Usher's engagement with our Celebrity Matchmaker: Star Engagement Rings game

Hurry up and call your girlfriends -- the Sex and the City movie is happening! And Samantha will be played by Kim Cattrall.

It seems it is a done deal as Sara Jessica Parker and the other ladies have signed the papers.

I'd better book a babysitter now!

Even though Jennifer Lopez clings to the hope that people still think she's just a proud Latina from the Bronx, somebody's calling her on it.

Ritmo Latino, a Latino music chain, has banned all J-Lo material from their 50 U.S. stores. David Massry, president of the chain, tells the New York Daily News they are done with Jen because she "has refused personally to promote her new CD in any of our stores" and other Latino-only retail outlets. "We've supported her from the beginning," the prez said. "Now we're told by her record company she will only visit Anglo retail outlets."

So Jenny will sign your CD only if your block happens to be the same block as a Tower Records.

I know this is like my 47th entry about Diddy this week, but this one is too good to let go.

MediaTakeOut.com is reporting that a Bad Boy insider believes that Dannity Kane hottie, Aubrey O'Day, may be pregnant --with Diddy's baby! AubreyODay_Mazur_12318473_600resize.jpg


According to the insider, whispers of an Aubrey pregnancy have been widespread among the Bad Boy staff. The blabber explains, "People here are always gossiping, so at first I didn't listen to them. But I swear ... now Aubrey is beginning to show."

Holy Crap!


The snitch continues, "Everyone knows she had something going on with [Diddy]. It makes a lot of sense that he would be the father."

If it is true, the "Making the Band" alumni will be the fourth woman to mother an itty-biity Diddy baby -- and then Aubrey and Diddy can make a show called "Making the Baby".

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All you have to do in this town is avoid a glass of champagne and people think you've got a bun in the oven.

That's what started the buzz when Borat's Sacha Baron Cohen's love, Isla Fisher, turned down a drink at the Cat and Fiddle club the other night. Supposedly Isla then made an announcement to their friends.

"We've got some good news: I'm pregnant," she was overheard saying.

Their reps refused to comment on the baby news, but here's hoping it's true. I bet the kid's first word will be "anus".

I know it will never happen, but isn't it fun to imagine what it would be like if Paris actually had to do time?

Prosecutors are saying that Paris violated her probation by driving with a suspended license. They've asked a judge to revoke the reckless driving probation, which could mean she would have to spend up to 90 days in jail! The celebutart's attorney had initially said Par didn’t know her license had been suspended.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you, Your Honor.

I am praying every waking minute that she goes to the slammer. I bet when they tell her she's off to the "big house", she'll pretend she didn't understand and head to the nearest mansion.

Poor Kevin. After all he's been through, the talent-less, nothing-without-Britney guy will walk away from his marriage with just a measly million dollars.

Yes, Brit and Kevin have finally reached a settlement in their divorce. They will share custody of their two boys and are just waiting the final signature from the judge, before all of this madness is finally put to rest.

I'm beginning to think Kevin Federline is an evil genius.

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All over Manhattan there are posters touting the new series The Tudors. It's like I'm being stalked by this ad campaign. And I'm a little bit of a history buff -- was a history major in college -- so the show just looks so interesting to me. Or maybe it's just this guy -- Jonathan Rhys Meyers -- who plays Henry VIII.

Seriously, I'm on the phone with my cable company right now. I need to see much more of this Irish lad.

More: Watch the first two episodes on Showtime's official site
Play with Jonathan in Celebrity Matchmaker: Irish Eyes

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Jennifer Lopez -- queen of the identity crisis -- briefly revisited her Jenny from the Block persona earlier today when she visited her old stomping grounds -- the Bronx, New York -- to pimp her new Spanish album.

I just love how she's posing under the Golden Arches. I mean -- do you think the Bentley driving, fur loving diva actually slums at McDs? Ha! I bet she's never even heard of the Dollar Value Menu.

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"He thought I was becoming a Jedi."
-- Bono to reporters on his son's disappointment that he became a knight of the British empire... not an official member of the Star Wars crew
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In today's TMI spotlight we have country legend Dolly Parton.

It seems that Dolly told a British newspaper this personal ditty about herself:

“When I have sex with my husband these days, I fantasize I am with someone like Keith Urban or a petite, hot young woman."

Well, hellooooo Dolly! Maybe Drew is interested.....

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Is it just me or do the Beckhams look a little like extraterrestrials? Maybe it's the hair... or all the time they've been spending with the Cruises is rubbing off on them.

In a candid new interview with Parade magazine, Halle Berry admits that she attempted to take her own life after her messy split with Atlanta Braves jerk, David Justice. It was her mom that saved her at the last minute.

"I was sitting in my car, and I knew the gas was coming when I had an image of my mother finding me," Halle tells the magazine. "She sacrificed so much for her children, and to end my life would be an incredibly selfish thing to do. It was all about a relationship. My sense of worth was so low," she says. "I promised myself I would never be a coward again."

Hal also opened up about her second marriage to sex-addict, Eric Benet. She describes their union as "really horrific," admitting that they were in counseling after one year. "I wish I had left then, but I was putting everyone's needs before mine," she said.

Now Halle has moved on with model Gabriel Aubry, and though she's ruled out tying the knot again, she's ready for a new adventure. "Now my sights are set on a different chapter in my life, which is motherhood. That's the goal I have very clearly set for myself."

Shanna Moakler has a really ridiculous problem with former drunky Miss USA, Tara Connor.

Shanna, who won the title herself in 1995, is not happy with her new haircut. Since Trav's wife cut bangs, websites have been saying that she and Tara look super similar. Not exactly a compliment, according to Shan.

"I cut my hair but since I am being compared to the she-devil herself I will grow it out," Shanna said in a recent posting on her MySpace page.

Shanna has her sash all in a bunch because she thinks Tara should have been stripped of the Miss USA title when it was revealed that she had been abusing drugs and alcohol.

You know what I say? WHATEVER, Shanna.

I don't know anything for sure, but I'm thinking Shanna is sitting in her glass house, with crazy Travis, juggling stones.

I already thought Bam Margera was a loon and often comment that I don't know how anyone could stand him for five minutes, let alone marry him, but he's actually managed to climb even higher on the rungs of my crazy ladder.

The Daily News is reporting that Bam has a giant mural of Lance Bass on his garage. "There's a big portrait of Lance in an astronaut uniform, smiling broadly and holding his helmet proudly," says the fortunate insider who blabbed to the paper. "In the background is a NASA shuttle ascending to space on a giant rainbow."

Okaaaaay.

When his friend asked him about the painting, Bam enthusiastically confirmed that absolutely was Lance. He said, "Hell yeah! The guy from 'N Sync who wanted to go to outer space, but never made it and was all gay and sh*t!"

Talk about people in outer space....

"I'm so proud of Tony. He is such a talent."

--an apparently hard of hearing Eva Longoria to People, in reference to beau, Tony Parker's, new French album, Balance-toi.

Here's some juice to go with your bagel this morning.

Drew Barrymore has been out on about with new stud Spike Jonze, but it appears, back in the day, Drew dabbled in some lady love.

Former Jane Magazine Editor, Jane Pratt, announced on her new radio show yesterday that she and DB got it on years ago. Jane's blabbing that, though she did admit to shock-jock Howard Stern that she had had sex with a woman, she never came clean with who it was. Well, she's talking now.

"It was someone famous," she revealed on the air. "I did have sex with Drew Barrymore."

The new radio host didn't go into much detail and never revealed when the romp took place, but Drew did appear on the 1997 debut issue of Jane.

Hmmm. I'm no Einstein but I bet it was right around that time.

Drew's peeps had no comment.

Drew's always been the free spirit so I'm sure this doesn't shock anyone, but it's a little juicy, no?

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Books, books, books! Lots of book talk today. It's a nice change than, say, talking about whoever Lindsay Lohan is sleeping with this minute.

Anyway, here's the cover of the seventh and final Harry Potter book called Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which will be released July 21.

I kinda wish the cover was one of those nudie pictures of Daniel Radcliffe from that play he's doing. Way more exciting.

"The weekend's difficulties were brought on by a reaction to an imbalance in medications used to treat my bipolar disorder... Scott was simply trying to help calm me down. I want to make it very clear that he did not hurt me in any way. For lack of a better expression, I was unstable and just lost it."
-- Mary Weiland, who torched hubby Scott Weiland's clothes over the weekend and vandalized a hotel room
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This was in this morning's New York Daily News. Any guesses as to which Bev 9-er this could be?
Which "Beverly Hills, 90210" alum is supplementing a moribund acting career with a thriving business as a pot dealer?

My guess is that it's Vincent Young (Noah)... or the older guy who played Nat. No wonder the Peach Pit was such a popular place! What do you think?

Almost a hat trick!

Former soccer superstar Mia Hamm and her baseball playing hubby, Nomar Garciaparra of the LA Dodgers, are the proud parents of twin daughters. They girls arrived earlier today.

"Both babies are healthy," said a spokesman for the Dodgers.

No word on what they were named.

Plus: For the latest on Tinseltown's littlest stars, check out our new Celebrity Kiddies Corner for photos, games and more.

Is anybody still in Oprah's Book Club? I admit that I've never participated -- I'm too busy reading celeb magazines, Beatles books and trashy tell-alls -- but I know some of you buggers out there are all about the Ops, so I'm passing along her latest selection...

According to Amazon.com, the "profoundly dark" book -- The Road written by Cormac McCarthy -- is a "post-apocalyptic masterpiece" and one of the best books of the year.

Wonder if this book will spark the same phenomena as The Secret. O so has the golden touch.

E_TabooFergie_136.jpgAnother day, another celebrity arrest.

While Fergie was probably off getting her butt flossed by Josh Duhamel, her Black Eyed Peas bandmate Taboo was being arrested for driving under the influence after a collision. The 31-year-old hip-hopper, whose real name is Jaime Luis Gomez, was taken into custody yesterday morning after a car crash 20 miles outside of Hell A.

Last night he was released with a citation for possession of less than an ounce of marijuana, possession of a prescribed medication without a prescription and driving under the influence.

Move to New York, people! You can partake... and cab it home.

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According to The Other Blog, Britney Spears dropped at least 10lbs during her 30-day stay in rehab. Here she is over the weekend showing off her bod... and bug glasses. (Those things are still in?) Brit reportedly dropped the poundage exercising and getting fat flush spa treatments.

You know -- the whole thing makes me want to eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. And it's nearing Easter, so they have the ones shaped like Easter eggs that are oh so festive...

I have to stop getting to work so early these days -- I'm starving by 10 am!

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Much like comic Sinbad, Diff'rent Strokes star Todd Bridges is not dead.

There was some confusion yesterday when a New York radio station released a story about Shaun Bridges, a truck driver whose drug addiction become the subject of a documentary and who recently died after a long illness. A gossip website then took the story and ran, causing lots of chaos for Todd's family, who couldn't get in touch with him.

"There were all these calls about it, and for a half an hour no one could reach me," Todd told People. "I was in (electronics store) Fry's shopping and I had my cell phone on silent. I am just glad that my kid never heard it." He told the magazine, "When you write the story, make sure you make it clear that I am alive."

Todd did have trouble with drugs in past, but he has been sober for the last 14 years.

If Willis was dead, I bet Arnold would have wanted to flush him down the toilet, much like his beloved goldfish, Abraham.

Goldie Hawn better break out the pack n' play.

E! is reporting that Goldie's son and Kate's brother, hottie Oliver Hudson and his wife, Erinn, are expecting their first child together. The couple are newlyweds, having married last June in Mexico.

Let's just hope Oliver's kid gets a haircut before he/she hits puberty, unlike Kate's son, Ryder, who is often seen looking like Cousin It.

P Diddy and his lady, Kim Porter recently welcomed twin girls into the world, but unlike every other set of new parents who are sleep-deprived and overwhelmed, these two have time and energy to get it on like rabbits.

And when I say "time", I mean lots of it.

The hip-hop superstar told London's Daily Mirror that his trip across the pond has been eventful. Though his scheduled concert with Snoop Dog was cancelled because Snoop wasn't allowed in the country, Diddy found plenty of other ways to spend his time.

"I've spent a lot of time with Kim in Paris," he told the paper. "And it's been perfect. As soon as we landed, we went straight to the Eiffel Tower, drank champagne at the top and just kissed and kissed."

Romantic, right? It gets better.

"Then we went up to my suite and had tantric sex for at least 30 hours, ordering up whipped cream and strawberries while we were at it. As meticulous as I am with my work, I'm more meticulous with lovemaking. I like to do it for a long time."

You know what? I wouldn't expect him to say anything else.


Just because Lindsay Lohan's dad got sprung from jail doesn't mean that she'll be welcoming him back into her life.

According to Page Six, Linds told her father, "You still haven't changed. Don't go near my mother ever again."

Michael Lohan was released from jail two weeks ago, after serving 20 months for drunk driving. After sending the warning to her dad, "Lindsay called her mother and told her to be careful and to take care of her brother and sister," said a source.

Daddy Lohan was hoping to patch things up with Linds, now that he's done his time and reportedly "found religion."

Be realistic, Mikey. If you and Momma Lohan were Lindsay's party pals, who would watch the other kids?

"I didn't know you were this nice. I thought you were a bitch."

-- Legend Patti LaBelle to reported diva Jennifer Hudson, as Patti accepted an award from Jen at the GLAAD Awards.


Love it!

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I guess Laguna Beach's Jessica learned something from ex-boyfriend Jason.

Jess and Jason can talk about what's like to spend time in the Big House, as the "real O.C." dumbbell was arrested yesterday on suspicion of felony driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, after crashing her VW Beetle on the Santa Ana Freeway. Cops say Jessica rear-ended an Acura with force and caused "great bodily injury" to occupants of both cars.

The police report said that Jessica's level of intoxication, plus her speed and the wet roadway, were all factors in the crash. The driver of the Acura and Jessica's passenger both suffered minor injuries. Jess is being held in an Orange County jail with her bail set at $100,000. She's due in court tomorrow morning.

Now Jessica and Jason can have matching orange jumpsuits. Stupid, spoiled rich kids.

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I don't think any of y'all would want to be Wynonna Judd today... not that it's your typical daydream.

The country singer's world came crashing down earlier today when her husband/mate/other half was arrested on three counts of aggravated sexual battery against a minor under the age of 13.

Yes, I said under the age of 13.

D.R. Roach, who has been in rehab for drug and alcohol abuse since February, is now in police custody in Taylor County, Texas. He's being held on $750,000 bond.

And don't think Wynonna will be all Tammy Wynette, singing "Stand By Your Man." She's already kicked him to the curb, filing for divorce earlier today.

"I am obviously devastated," Wynonna said in a statement to Entertainment Tonight. "Our family will pull together, begin the healing process and hopefully -- by the Grace of God -- become stronger. We will move forward with our faith, family and our friends to find resolution to this difficult situation."

Maybe she should consult Mary Weiland as to how to seek revenge? Just a thought.

A few weeks ago we reported on the sightings of Reese and Jake Gyllenhaal palling around NYC together. Sources very close to the two now tell Perez Hilton that the friends are absolutely romantically involved.

"They are 100% dating," says a close insider. "Reese and Jake are being smart about things and keeping their relationship very discrete and out of the public eye."

The couple met last year while filming their new movie Rendition.

I have a little Bob Marley playing in my head right now:

Is this love - is this love - is this love -
Is this love that I'm feelin'?
Is this love - is this love - is this love -
Is this love that I'm feelin'?
I wanna know - wanna know - wanna know now!
I got to know - got to know - got to know now!

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James Blunt is going to have to find someone new to sing that bloody "You're Beautiful" song to. He and Petra Nemcova have split.

"They split in February," a source close to James told People. "It's very amicable."

News of the split broke as James has recently been seen out and about with Miss Lindsay Lohan. One club hopper, who recently saw them out in LA, told People that they "were never affectionate, but they did seem flirty, standing right next to each other, and constantly talking."

Get in line, fella!

Ordinarily, I'd ask y'all who you think James should date next, but let's be honest... Who the hell cares?

More: 2007 Celebrity Breakup Tracker

If Lindsay Lohan would just try and have a little pride...

LL was seen draping herself all over Paris's ex, Stavros Niarchos, at Teddy's in L.A.. Why these former bffs must recycle men is mind-blowing. Lindsay has dated Stavros in the past, and always seems to be there to pick up the pieces when he and Paris take a break. It's sort of pitiful.

Linds and Stav left the club together, no doubt to stick it to Paris a little more.

You're just a pawn in their little game, Stavros.

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The Creepy Dad of the Week Award (also known as the Joe Simpson Award) goes to Jack Birch, father of actress Thora Birch.

Thora was the chick in Ghost World, American Beauty and Patriot Games, but hasn't been around much lately -- maybe this is why. Her dad is also her manager and treated the cast and crew of Thora's new movie, The Winter of Frozen Dreams, to quite the show last week.

Jack insisted that he be on set for the filming of his daughter's sex scene, which is not unusual if he was making sure she wasn't being exploited. Disturbingly enough, that wasn't the case.

"It was so wrong," said one witness. "The director is saying, 'Harder! Faster!' and the father is giving [Thora's co-star, Dean] Winters the thumbs up." At one point, "her father was threatening to kill the assistant directors. Then he threatens to pull her from the movie with three days of shooting left." Apparently, Jack had been giving the director lots of tips on how to shoot Thora from the best angle throughout the filming. If that's not bad enough, the scene took 14 takes to get.

"It was the most bizarre, perverse scene," the insider told Page Six. "One girl on the crew broke down crying."

Okay, I'm nauseous.

There are just certain things that should not be shared between a father and a daughter -- anything to do with simulated sex scenes being number 1 on the list.

How did Eva Longoria allow this to happen?

Eva's beau, Tony Parker, has decided to try his hand at rapping! The San Antonio Spurs star has released this new video, starring the Desperate Housewives looker, for the French song "Balance Troi".

It's bad, people. I thought I was watching a Saturday Night Live skit.

It almost makes K-Fed look like Jay-Z.

It may not be happily ever after for Brad and Angie and their new son, Pax.

The News of the World is reporting that a man claiming to be Pax's biological grandfather is making threats to the star couple. He says that his daughter, a heroin addict who gave birth to Pax and put him up for adoption two days later, will be making waves for Brangelina.

"When she finds out that a rich movie star has adopted her baby, she will go after Angelina Jolie for money and make trouble for her," he told the newspaper. "She may even try to take the child back."

Though insiders say the adoption was "completely legal", questions were raised because the papers were signed by Pax's grandparents, as opposed to his mother.

You'd better sit down for this one.

According to Rush and Malloy, Paris' first was none other than Randy Spelling! Yes, Tori's brother and Aaron's turtle-looking son had the honor of going where no man had gone before, and where thousands of men have been since.

If was way back when, when Paris actually had a curfew and was under some adult supervision.

"We were together for like two months," Randy told R&M. "We went to Palm Springs once for the weekend, and we couldn't check into the hotel under her name because her grandma was looking for her. She was like 15; I was 17. And what do you know, I hear this knock-knock-knock on the door, and I look out and her grandma's there. And then I look out the window and I see Paris in a full-on dress with a suitcase running down the golf course. We broke up like a week later."

Agent David Weintraub said that Aaron's heir revisited the party later on in life, as well, "Randy was Paris' number one and her number 50 and number 150."

According to Randy, Paris will always have a place in her heart for him, which was illustrated when the duo ran into each other in L.A. recently. "She came up to me and she was like, 'I want to say hi to Randy,' " he boasted. "She was like, 'Randy took my virginity. I want to say hi!'"

Aw, what a sweet story. Two baby rich kids getting it on for the first time. Such a storybook romance.

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Thank goodness nobody pulled a velvet revolver!

Scott Weiland's wife, Mary, was arrested for torching her husband's clothes outside their Toluca Lake home over the weekend. The blazing was preceded by a nasty brawl at a fancy schmancy hotel that left two rooms vandalized.

Mary Weiland was booked for investigation of felony arson vandalism after destroying $10,000 worth of her husband's threads. Officers on the scene found the designer duds smoldering in a trash can. Earlier in the evening, the po-po were called to the Graciela Hotel after the Weilands got into a fight that left two rooms in disarray.

"Both rooms had damage and items scattered, broken plates and things. It was looking definitely like items were deliberately destroyed," said a police spokesperson, who added that the amount of damage exceeded $400. "She is a suspect in the vandalism. He is not."

This whole story gives me flashback of Waiting to Exhale -- when Angela Bassett took her cheating husband's clothes and gave them a bonfire-themed going-away party. That will forever be one of the greatest movie scenes ever. I bet Mary agrees.

Click on the jump for Scott's statement on Velvet Revolver's official Website...

E_AnnaNicoleSmith_89.jpgAccording to Us, these are the drugs that were found in Anna Nicole Smith's system when she died. And I grumble at having to take my one asthma pill every day!

  • Trichloroethanol (a sedative and hypnotic)

  • Trichloroacetic acid (treatment of warts, including genital warts)

  • Diphenhydramine hydrochloride (an antihistimine and sedative)

  • Clonazepam (aka Klonopin; used for treating anxiety)

  • Diazepam (muscle relaxant, used for treating anxiety, insomnia)

  • Nordiazapam (sedative)

  • Temazepam (a sedative and hypnotic)

  • Oxazepam (a muscle relaxant and sedative)

  • Lorazapam (anti-nausea, sedative, muscle relaxant)

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    Earlier this morning, Tracy told us about Bruce Willis making a play for bad girl Amy Winehouse... and eventually making out with Courtney Love and taking home Baywatcher Donna D'Errico. The whole thing made me want to jump back in the shower and clean off.

    The Baywatch chick I can see. But Courtney Love, who looks like Hedda Nussbaum with her latest facelift? And I dig Amy Winehouse (how long have I been quoting "Rehab"?), but between the booze and eyeliner assault, girl is a hot mess.

    Somewhere Demi Moore is having a nice chuckle. She landed the handsome boy toy while Bruce is still supping on leftovers.

    The results are in.

    Seminole Police Chief Charlie Tiger deems Anna's death an "accidental overdose." There was no evidence of illegal drugs on the day Anna Nicole died and there was no evidence of foul play. Chief Tiger says Howard K. Stern will not be prosecuted, as his computer was checked and there was no evidence of anything unusual.

    Dr. Joshua Perper, the Medical Examiner for Broward County, announced that he found nine prescription drugs in Anna's system, including methadone, anti-anxiety drugs and "longevity" drugs. Nothing illegal was found.

    Perper said that though Anna did have an infection from a drug injection in her buttocks, the playmate was taking antibiotics that were keeping the infection under control, and it was not soley the cause of death. None of the drugs in Anna's system were taken in a large enough dose to kill her by themselves -- it was the lethal combination that ended her life.

    So tragic. She lived in a big way and died in a big way. R.I.P. ANS.

    More: Anna Nicole Smith: Her life in photos

    Yes, I'm a little Kate Moss obsessed. So when she gives the very rare interview, I'm in. Speaking of... Here's a behind-the-scenes look at the making of her new clothing line for TopShop.

    I love the way she says gorg!

    Now if only she'd ditch the fug, crackhead boyfriend...

    Snoop Dog has been denied a British visa due to his past criminal history, reports The Daily Mirror.

    The blunt-smoking rapper is scheduled to perform with cohort P Diddy at Wembley tomorrow night, and tickets are still being sold for the event.

    Snoop gave this statement:

    "All I can do is politely ask the Home Office to reconsider this. I can reach the kids with my mic that politicians cannot with their voices. I can tell them to stop the violence and killings that have been happening in the UK."

    Come on, people! What could happen? He'll get the munchies and eat all of your fish and chips?
    Let the man do his thing.

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    Taking a page from his father's book, no doubt, Prince Harry was seen getting hot and heavy Saturday night,with a chick other than his steady, Chelsy Davy.

    Harry and British TV personality Natalie Pinkham were doing some major canoodling at London's Boujis nightclub, the News of the World reports.

    "Harry was obviously very drunk," said a witness. "He and Natalie spent most of the night huddled together at a corner table beside the dance floor where Harry's bodyguards did their best to hide them both from view. They ordered full-size bottles of vodka and cans of Red Bull and mixed their own drinks at the table. It was clearly a big night out for both of them. Harry kept putting his arm around her. At times it even looked like he was kissing her neck -- although it was difficult to see. They were certainly being very touchy-feely with each other."

    Uh-oh.

    To make matters worse, when Harry tried to sneak out of the club, a photographer snagged a shot of the prince and he flipped. "He screamed at me to 'F*ck off', then grabbed me and tried to shove me over," said the member of the paparazzi. "He had his hands around my collar and back. It was an assault. I've never known anything like it before."

    I can totally understand Harry hating the paparazzi after all that happened with Diana, but if you don't want to be caught with your hand in the cookie jar don't be munching the Oreos in the middle of the kitchen.

    Catch my drift?

    Or so they say.

    People were buzzing that Britney was rushed to the emergency room Sunday evening, after meeting with her AA sponsor earlier in the day. Though it seemed like we were about to witness another chapter in Britney's Book of Scandal, sources are saying the girl just had a tooth issue and her dentist happened to be at the Century City Hospital.

    "She has had a toothache for a few days and her assistant got a dentist to see her on Sunday," says the source. "So technically she may be AT a hospital but she is at the dentist."

    It was reported that cops were forced to swarm the area for crowd control due to a host of paparazzi visiting the hospital, but Access Hollywood said there were none at the scene.

    Brit seemed to be doing well, otherwise, since flying the Promises coop last week. She went to a dance class and out for sushi with pals Friday night and was running errands on Saturday.

    If anyone runs into Britney in the next day or two, check her mouth for those gauzy pads.

    Bruce Willis definitely knows how to celebrate a birthday. I've already heard two stories this morning of the big B getting it on with two different Hollywood ladies, while welcoming the big 52.

    The Daily News is saying that Bruce was making out with -- wait for it -- Courtney Love! The surprising duo were partying at Amy Winehouse's (who reportedly turned the Brucer down) gig at the Roxy, where they publicly got their kiss on.

    Then Bruce was off to kick it with Hef, at the Palms in Vegas, where he flirted with Baywatch babe Donna D'errico. Donna seemed game to hang with the Die Hard stud, according to onlookers."They left together and definitely hooked up," says a source close to the former Playmate.

    Bruce is obviously lonely and grasping at straws. I mean, at least Donna is somewhat hot, but Courtney Love and Amy Winehouse? For God's sake, man, think!

    Even with the new addition to her family, Angelina is still very much in mourning over her mother's recent death.

    Her brother, James (the recipient of the famous kiss), is worried about his sis. "Angie has become very thin because she's grieving," he reveals, referring to the loss of Marcheline Bertrand. "It's even difficult for her to eat. I keep saying to her, 'Don't forget to eat,'" he told the London Daily Mail. "But you know she doesn't pay much attention to food anyway and she's been going through a process of grief like me. She has not wanted to eat, nor has she been able to."

    James also spoke up about the strained relationship he and Angelina have with their dad, Jon Voight. "My dad left a voice-mail message that was very kind, wishing condolences to me and my sister. That was what he did," Angie's bro sarcastically told the paper. "What I have to deal with is that there's no such thing as him making amends now - he's lost his chance and that just makes me and Angelina even more upset."

    I'm sad for them. I hope they find peace soon.

    "I don't insinuate that I have a ton of dignity -- come on, I'm 19 -- but it's something I strive to possess and important in how you treat others, how you handle your job and treat yourself. It's also something that can be easily lost. I hope I can hold on to dignity as I move forward."

    -- a very mature sounding Hilary Duff, about her new album.

    Hopefully we won't be reminding her of this when she checks into rehab.

    Because it's Friday morning, and we all deserve a good kick-off to the weekend, here's a little ditty just for fun.

    I just read a story that Victoria Beckham is organizing a book club! Those scheduled to appear at the monthly tea-sipping gatherings? Posh's BFF Katie Holmes and J-Lo!

    Quite a crew, no?

    Vicki has said that she wants to teach her pals from the U.S. all about classic English literature.

    Yes, Posh Spice, enlighten us on the literary giants of your homeland!

    A source told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: "When Victoria told Katie about a book club, Katie thought it was a great idea, especially as she would love to learn more about British classics." Some of the books on the list include Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, Emma and Sense and Sensibility.

    What a hoot! What's next ladies -- a Tupperware party?

    .

    Like I said, I'm not a fan, but I will give credit where credit is due. Brad and Angie are back in the news this morning (are they ever really gone?) as they have donated $100,000 to help build a kickin' medical facility in Sudan.

    The Duk Lost Boys Clinic will be run by a Sudanese philanthropist who was featured in a documentary that Brad produced. The clinic will open later this spring and serve more than 150,000 people.

    Ever the do-gooders those Jolie-Pitts.

    mickjagger.jpg
    Mick Jagger just won't quit. The Rolling Stones front-man announced yesterday that he and his posse will be heading back out on the road for a 20 show European tour.

    Mick bragged, "I never get tired." Apparently not. One of the scheduled shows will be at the Isle of Wight festival, 43 years after the pillow-lipped skinny minnie and his band first appeared there.

    43 years? Holy crap. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

    An exclusive report from the Star and the National Enquirer says that ANS met her maker due to an overdose of a potent sleep aid. The magazines are claiming that Anna had a "raging blood infection" that was the cause of her severe fever and nausea in the days before her death.

    The infection, the mags say, was the result of an injection given to the model three days before she died -- the needle used was reportedly unsterilized. The reports don't reveal what the injected substance was, only that a "painful abscess developed" at the site.

    Sadly, the tabloids speculate that Anna would have survived had she been properly treated in a hospital, as opposed to self-medicating.

    The Broward County Medical Examiner, Dr. Joshua Perper, is set to reveal his official findings about what killed ANS on Monday.


    Jason Alexander should have kept his mouth shut for so many reasons.

    Britney has had it with her first hubby, the guy she flew to Vegas with and married for one milisecond. Since ending her stay at Promises, Brit has sent her lawyers after her ex for dishing to the tabloids. Apparently jason had to sign some confidentiality agreement before they tied the knot, which he has violated -- big time.

    According to Britney's lawyer, Jase has "has been peddling false, defamatory and outrageous stories" and "selling and exploiting private and confidential information about Ms. Spears to the media for money and notoriety."

    Get out - really?

    In a "kick-her-when-she's-down" move, Brit's high school bud/ex-hubby blabbed to the Sunday Mirror about Britney's lesbian encounters and crazy drug use, saying he was talking so she wouldn't "end up like Anna Nicole Smith."

    Sure, Jason. That's why you did it. That's why you gave your story to a British tabloid. He makes me sick, I tell you. Sick, sick, sick.

    E_LindsayLohanDina_136.jpgPot to Kettle: You're black!

    Contact Music is reporting that Dina Lohan (Lindsay's madre) chastised Lynne Spears (Britney's madre) for her mothering skills. Specifically, Dina -- who clearly wants to be a star herself -- said that Lynne should have spoken out publicly in defense of Britney when Brit had her meltdown.

    "I don't know her mom," Dina reportedly said. "But I love this kid, and I feel so badly for her because I'm a mom. The girl is a beautiful kid. She married some guy just to get out of the limelight. Cut her some slack... Her mother, I'm surprised she didn't come forward. I'm not gonna sit back and go, 'You're gonna trash my kid?' If my daughter was in high school, I would be at the principal's office. Hello?"

    Right, Dina would speak out publicly for Lindsay... because the lady never shuts up! Every night she's out on the town, riding her daughter's coattails. She's been pimping out her kids since they were in diapers, using them as her meal ticket -- specifically, to pay those plastic surgery bills. She's even in some magazine right now and told the interviewer that if she was an ugly stage mom, she wouldn't catch as much flack from the media. What a "don't hate me because I'm beautiful" thing to say. Ugh the ego!

    Firecrotch Senior needs to get her life in order before she goes after poor Lynne Spears, who is never on the red carpet, bar hopping, pathetically throwing herself at Hollywood actors or giving interviews about her daughter's drug use. It's just really sad.

    JenMeyerRuby.jpg
    What a gem of a photo!

    How delicious is ginger haired Ruby Sweetheart Maguire, the daughter of Tobey and his fiancée Jen Meyer?

    Mom is getting the little one shopping early -- they were snapped leaving trendy Fred Segal in L.A. I'm sure Rubes picked up some fancy shmancy new designer baby duds. Good thing daddy has a new movie coming out. Cha-ching.

    E_BridgetMoynahan_136.jpgThere's a lot of smack talking about Bridget Moynahan, who's expecting her first child -- with ex-boyfriend Tom Brady -- later this year. People who comment here at the Blabber insist that the Six Degrees star tried to "trap" the football player and got pregnant to try and "save" their relationship. While I'm typically down for a celeb trash talk, that sounds a little too Sami Brady from Days of Our Lives for me. I like to think that a classy chick like Bridget wouldn't resort to an overused soap opera plot device in real life.

    I could be wrong.

    Anyway, Bridget taped an appearance on Martha Stewart -- that will air Monday -- and People.com has a sneak peek. Here's what she said about the bun...

    "This week [it'll be] five months," said the Six Degrees actress, 35, who announced in February that she's expecting her first child with her ex-boyfriend, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.

    "Five months pregnant!" Stewart said. "Are you excited about being a mom?"

    "I am. I'm a little nervous, 'cause I haven't done it before," said Moynahan. "But, you know, I have little nephews, and it's always nice to spend time with them, especially around the holidays."

    I say power to the girl for doing the single mom thing. I could never do it.

    More: Read all about Tom, Bridget and Gisele in the Celebrity Baby Scandals slide show.

    avril_lavigne2Jane cover.jpg
    Is this not the best cover line ever?

    And that's just a taste of how awesome the girl is. In the new issue of Jane, Avril Lavigne talks about everything from her marriage to fellow rocker Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley, to drugs, to Britney.

    Here are some of my favorite quotes:

    On her wedding: "I wanted to be like, 'Oh, let's totally have a rock 'n' roll, goth wedding' but at the same time I was like, 'I've been dreaming about my wedding day since I was a little girl. I have to wear the white dress.' I wanted to be a princess, okay?"

    On her bond with her hubby: "We have a really good, strong relationship. There's a lot of trust. I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him."

    On drugs: "I've never done coke in my life, and I'm proud of that. Oh my God! I could never. I am 100 percent against drugs."

    On how she deals with the paparazzi: "I don't know what the big deal was, because I've been spitting at paparazzi the past two years I've lived in L.A. It was funny. But I think if Britney had had no underwear on that week, my spitting thing wouldn't have been talked about."

    Love her!

    JustinTimberlakedetailscover.jpg
    I hate when a celebrity nice guy tries to be all tough and gives an interview that completely goes against the image he's created. So is the case with J.T.'s new interview with Details. Though he was a gentleman about Brit, refusing to comment on her recent actions, Justin actually complained about taking home the most coveted prize at the Grammys for his Justified album. "I tried so hard to be an R&B artist [on his first solo album, Justified] and it was the pop album of the year, and I was like, ‘F*ck. That’s the last thing I wanted."

    Yes, Justin, how awful for you.

    But the most upsetting part of the interview for me was his whining about participating in the "My Grammy Moment" contest, where he performed with American Idol reject Robyn Troup, who got a second chance at her 15 minutes of fame. Justin said he wanted to backout when he realized how potentially disastrous it could be, but didn't, “Because I’m the nice guy who follows through on the things he commits to,” he told the mag.“But I don’t know if I’ll be going through that sort of thing again. I feel like the Grammys used me for ratings. And look at it — they were up 18 percent.”

    I was completely fooled by his performance. I was all in love with him because he seemed genuinely happy for the girl and looked like he had fun doing it.

    I still loves his music, and I still hope he gets back with Britney, but you've broken my heart a little, Justin. You've broken my heart.

    A few months ago we were talking about how Carmen Electra has been spending a lot of time with rocker Joan Jett. I speculated that these two were perhaps more than just good friends. Since then the girls have been seen out and about aplenty, attending fashion shows and clubbing as a team. But Carmen has decided to put an end to the rumors. Her rep told Us Weekly, "They are just friends."

    That's it? Nothing else?

    One word: Unconvinced.

    It looks like Tom Brady will not be pushing the double stroller.

    Despite whisperings that Tom's new girlfriend Gisele was also with child (Brady's former gf, Bridget Moynahan's, has got his bun in her oven), the supermodel has finally spoke out on the pregnancy rumors to the Spanish TV show Corazon de Primavera.

    "I'm not pregnant and I'm not planning to be pregnant anytime soon. I have so many contracts to do, so many projects." The gorgeous Vicki S. model feels she is way too young to take on a family. "It's just something I don't want now - it's something for the future," Gisele said. "I'm 26 years old, for Christ's sake! Why would I have a baby now?"

    I bet Tom is breathing a major sigh of relief. Now he won't have to run back and forth between hospital rooms like Steve Martin in Father of the Bride 2.


    After the bad press (no such thing, right?) Jesse Metcalfe has been getting about his bad behavior at the Mondrian hotel this weekend, the pathetic actor has decided to follow in the footsteps of almost everybody else in Hollywood and hit the rehab circuit. His rep released this statement:

    "On Monday, March 19, Jesse Metcalfe entered a rehab facility to deal with alcohol issues. He realized he had a problem and was anxious to deal with it immediately. The actor, best known as the hunky gardener on the ABC show 'Desperate Housewives' and the star of the film 'John Tucker Must Die,' hopes that the media will allow him the privacy to deal properly with his treatment."

    Sure he does. I love how his publicist refers to him as the "hunky gardener." No doubt Jess thinks this will catapult him to stardom.

    Vivica A. Fox
    Vivica A. fox had one too many before getting into her car Tuesday night and got busted by the cops. Access Hollywood obtained the police report that said Viv passed a patrol car (you never do that!), while speeding in her Caddy with tinted windows.

    Vivica was pulled over and cops thought she seemed a bit tipsy. The gave her a bunch of the dreaded sobriety tests, which she failed. Viv was taken "downtown" where she was given two breathalyzer tests, which "indicated the presence of alcohol greater than the 0.08%, the California legal limit." Luckily, Vivica has an assistant who is paid to come out at all hours of the night to bail her master out of jail.

    I was just thinking how funny it would be to be driving down the freeway and see Viv walking the line and trying to recite the alphabet backwards.


    That's what we're calling it today, kids. It seems Nicole collapsed, yet again, on the set of the Simple Life last week, after suffering from "dehydration" on March 2nd. Now her rep would like us believe that it's Nic's low blood sugar that is the real culprit.

    "In her ongoing effort to focus on her well-being, Nicole has recently been diagnosed with hypoglycemia," her spokesperson tells People in its new issue. "[She] is taking steps to manage it."

    I don't know a lot about hypoglycemia, and I'm sure a bunch of you out there do, so enlighten me. Is this valid? Just some more hot air? Could Nicole solve her own problems by eating a sandwich or two? Talk back.

    LARRY.jpg
    I don't know about you guys, but I've been over this whole Anna Nicole Smith paternity scandal drama fiasco since Malibu Ken Larry Birkhead started walking out of court and waving to his legions of adoring fans, who gather outside daily. The guy now has a stalker for goodness sake. By Hollywood standards, he's big time.

    But there is a silver lining: A judge has finally ordered a paternity test for Anna Nicole's six-month-old-daughter.

    No word on when the test will be conducted, but at this rate Dannielynn will have posed for Playboy, married a rich guy and visited rehab by the time the results are in.

    u633.cover_blog.jpg
    The folks at Us Weekly are confirming what we already know about Tom Cruise -- the man is friggin' cuckoo.

  • Tom is said to have called the Beckhams 18 times in one hour to get them to convert to Scientology. Apparently Mrs. Becks isn't down with that. "Victoria is an old-fashioned British woman who believes in God," a source tells the mag. "She finds it quite rude that Tom is bugging her so much."

  • Tom is said to be denying Katie "every single thing"... though that hasn't stopped her from spending bazillions at Barneys every other week.

  • Katie has been crying to Victoria about the state of her marriage. One conversation lasted four hours.

  • Tom is making all the decisions about Katie's career.

  • Katie recently took two pregnancy tests.

    Poor Katie! But as the expression goes -- you made your bed, now lie in it... but be sure to use protection so that you don't have to carry anymore of his alien babies.

  • AngiesnewsonPeople.jpg

    The latest Jolie-Pitt is on his way to the Big Easy with his new mom. People's new issue (with lots more photos of the cutie) will be on newsstands Friday.


    In the week's most embarrassing moment so far, Wilmer Valderamma tried to win back Linday's love by serenading her at a karaoke party Sunday night.

    Fez first tried to talk to his former gf, but was quickly blown off. Not one to give up, Wil "grabbed the microphone and said, 'Lindsay, this is for you.'" He proceeded to belt out Matchbox20's Back To Good, and when he was finished, La Lohan yelled,"It's too late!" Ouch.

    "Wilmer tried to take it like a man," said a clubgoer. "But he left a few minutes later.”

    Well, props to Wilmer for trying. Why he would want to get back with her I have no clue, but as they say, love is blind -- and apparently deaf and dumb as well.

    For all of you who defended Pete Doherty after my last entry about his early morning cocktail, chew on this.

    According to the Daily News, during an interview with Vogue Hommes International, Petey pulled out a crack pipe, while sitting at the bar of London hotel. "I always stumble back into it sooner or later, even if it's for a half hour a day," he said of his prized possession, made from a miniature Martell Cognac bottle.

    Not enough for you? Here's his take on the petty subway crimes and prostitution he had to partake in when he was low on his stash:

    "There was no shame, because I kind of knew they were just lonely pissed-up old queens. And 20 quid was a lot of money!"

    It's just too easy. Now put that in your pipe and smoke it.

    She's done it!

    Britney is back on the streets after nearly 30 days in rehab, according to People. Her manager confirms, that Brit "has been released by the Promises Malibu Treatment Center after successfully completing their program." A friend of the starlet said she is "doing fine."

    Now let us pray:

    Please let Britney be well. Let her go back to her children, her family, her work. Let her reunite with childhood love Justin Timberlake and let them make beautiful music as an all-powerful pop sensation. Please protect her from the evil ways of the Lindsay Lohans and Paris Hiltons of the world. And please, please remind her to cover her cooter when wearing a miniskirt. Amen.

    Angie to be a stay-at-home-mom? Not so much.

    Hot on the heels of Angelina's declaration that she will stay home and help new son Pax adjust to life in New Orleans with his brothers and sisters, Angie has signed on to star in the upcoming action movie Wanted with Morgan Freeman. The film is slated to begin shooting in May. Pax should be arriving in the U.S. today or tomorrow so, by my calculations, Angie will have been home for just about six weeks.

    Quite the dedication to your family, Ang. I'm sure the new flick was an opportunity you just couldn't pass up, much like continuing to add to your family with reckless abandon.

    I'm so not a fan.

    I'm so psyched for this, as I am one of those old fashioned people who still likes to send a card for every occasion. Now I can send Ellen humor!

    Ellen DeGeneres has signed a deal with American Greetings to create a greeting card series featuring the talk show host's wacky sense of humor.

    "I look at having a line of cards as another extension of being a host; helping you wish your loved ones well, piggybacking on your birthday greetings," El said in a statement. "I like to be up in the middle of everything, and doing it this way is much easier than crashing parties."

    The collection will include 32 different cards, ranging from birthday wishes to thank yous to, my fave, the "no reason" cards. This will, no doubt, be a huge success for Ellen and American Greetings, and is sure to have Hallmark execs needing a sympathy card -- stat!


    Good thing David Letterman had someone funny lined up for last night's show.

    Dave got hit with a bout of the stomach flu right before yesterday's taping began and Adam Sandler, who was a scheduled guest, filled in for him! Dave pre-taped tonight's show, and is going to be preempted for basketball on Thursday and Friday, so he'll have a few days to rest.

    Imagine if it was word-slurring Paula Abdul who had to take over? Disaster averted!


    Jan is the self-proclaimed "World's First Supermodel," but I'm thinking she is also the world's original hot mess -- or train wreck. Whichever one better describes a freakazoid lunatic.

    Last night, at the Ed Hardy Fashion show, Janice made a scene because her assigned seat wasn't close enough to the media. As usual, Jan did what she wanted, and repositioned herself in the seats of Fern Mallis, the lead organizer of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, and Davis Factor, co-creator of Smashbox Studio. Janice was heard yelling, "I'm not moving for anyone, I don't care who it is," but quickly moved her butt when Mr. Smashbox confronted her.

    The wacky attention whore continued to cause a ruckus, insulting Ed Hardy's duds, and claiming a model "broke her toe" backstage, leaving her to soak her foot in an ice bath.

    Needless to say "the powers that be" at IMG have asked that JD be left off any future guest lists.

    If Janice fell off the face of the earth, never to be heard from again, I would sleep better at night.

    I'm sorry but you can't tell me that American Idol's Paula Abdul isn't on something. I'm not faulting the lady -- have at those prescription pills if that's your thing. But don't embarrass yourself by talking to David Letterman about how you've *never ever done drugs* when you are clearly following Anna Nicole Smith's "vitamin" regime.

    Just calling a spade a spade.


    Out goes Stavros, in swings Josh Henderson (of Desperate Housewives).

    I don't want to spend a lot of time on this, because Paris' status fluctuates more than any other person's on the planet, ever, but here it is. The heiress and Stavros are over and she has gotten her hooks into Josh, according to E!.

    Apparently Paris did the dumping this time because Stav was just way too possessive.

    "He gets jealous, so they argue," the Paris' pal said. "Not sure if it is permanent, but they have not been seeing each other for the past couple of weeks."

    So Paris filled her time hanging with Josh on a few occasions this past weekend.

    I'm sure there's nothing really to write home about here, and this will be over in a blink of an eye, but it's my duty to inform the public!

    You can't really blame Halle for not wanting to walk down the aisle ever again. The girl married some real shmucks in the past.

    Even though Hal has been dating that cutie model Gabriel Aubry, and is very happy with him, she's done with making it official.

    E_HalleBerryGabriel_136.jpg"I will never, never get married again," the hottie tells April's issue of InStyle. "Actually it's just that now I've come to a place where I think two people can share their lives without the ring, without the piece of paper."

    Although marriage may be out of the question, little Berrys are a good possibility.

    "I definitely want children. Very much."

    But if Halle's going to do it, she's going to do it right. "I want my kids to realize it's only through hard work that any success or real joy comes," she says. "It's not about money; it's the intangible rewards – having integrity and doing what you say you're going to do."

    I think she'll be a great mom.


    There is not one on the way for Travis and Shanna -- at least for right now.

    "While I hope one day to have more children with Travis, I am not pregnant," Shanna told People. "But yes, I'm madly in love with my husband."

    The lovahs -- who recently reunited after a very nasty split in 2006 -- partied for Mrs. B's birthday this weekend in Miami, parading their devotion all over the place.

    Look, these two are absolutely meant to be. If you've watched their show on MTV, there's nobody else in this world who could possibly love either of them more. Talk about accepting your partner's flaws.

    Rock on, Barkers!

    Some things just frighten me.

    Take this, for example: Kevin Federline has acquired his own internet search engine, called Searching with Kevin.

    I swear!

    You can even download the toolbar (and his potential viruses!) so you always have Mr. Spears' incomparable searching skills at your fingertips. And every time you use this wonder of wonders you have a chance to win big prizes! Like an invite to Kev's to birthday party!

    You're welcome. Do a body shot for me!

    "No, David wouldn't be in one of my videos. He's attractive but I'm over all that now. He's far too old for me."

    -- Hilary Duff, 19, to AXM magazine, on 31-year-old David Beckham, who, I am sure, is crying himself to sleep every night over this


    Jesse Metcalfe, who played Eva Longoria's boy toy on Desperate Housewives, showed some very Hollywood-like, bad behavior this weekend at the Mondrian hotel.

    Page Six is reporting that guests saw Jesse "partying for four days straight last week and being really mean to the staff." Then, on Friday, he freaked out when the door man at the Skybar wouldn't let him in. The hotel had enough of him by Saturday, when they wouldn't even give him a room! Love it!

    A rep for the Mondrian says Jess isn't banned forever, but I have a feeling he won't be checking in anytime soon.

    Class, welcome to the perfect example of low-level stardom going to a very big head.

    For more TV news -- or to read Desperate Housewives recaps -- check out our friends at TV Cocktail.


    Tori Spelling is home with her new baby boy, Liam, and she is on cloud nine.

    "It's been the most amazing week and experience of my life. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world," Tori writes on her MySpace page. "[Liam] is my little angel baby and I had no idea you could love someone you've only known for four days this much. But my heart is jumping out of my chest with love. Mommihood ROCKS!"

    All of a sudden I'm this huge Tori fan. I guess I can relate to loving your kid more than life itself. I'm really happy for her.

    Believe me, nobody's more shocked than I am.


    No, that's not a typo. It's the name of Tara's new fast food chain.

    Okay, stop laughing. The blonde bimbette is really opening a new restaurant in Los Angeles on March 31st.

    "You probably won't see me behind the cash register," Tara told In Touch. "But I'll definitely be in the kitchen making sure everything is done right."

    How comforting. Apparently Tara thinks because her family owned a tavern in New Jersey she's a catering whiz.

    But if you think about it, it's a really smart move on her part. The next time she goes on a bender and publicly humiliates herself so badly that nobody in Hollywood would ever hire her, she can work the drive-thru.

    Way to have a back-up plan, T.R.!

    "If I was a gold digger, I'd have a lot more money in my bank account."

    -- a very sincere Heather Mills, who always knows just what to say

    I just revisited my breakfast -- and not in a good way.


    Uma Thurman and her beau, hotel king Andre Balazs, have called it quits again. The duo had an on-again-off-again relationship for the past three years and sources say they had planned to wed this summer.

    Funnily enough, the last time they took a break was just about a year ago to the day. But by last Fall Uma and Andre were seen canoodling again, on beaches and city streets alike.

    Maybe March Madness just gets to them.

    Kevin James-Steffania1.jpg

    I love me some Kevin James. Not only do I think he is the cutest cutie in the world, but I find him hilarious. I mean, have you seen Hitch? Not to mention his long-running sitcom where he actually looks like he loves the very tough Leah Remini.

    Anyway, I'm happy to report that Kevin and his model wife are expecting their second daughter this summer. "We're very excited," Kev told People Saturday night at Boulevard3 in Hollywood, where The King of Queens celebrated its final wrap after nine seasons (I'm weeping).

    "[Steffiana]'s due July 1st. I just love being a dad and spending time with my wife and child, and now we're having another girl. It's incredible."

    All hail the King!


    Why, why, why?

    Why do dysfunctional couples feel the need to reunite and get pregnant thirty seconds later (or vice versa)?

    Perez Hilton spotted Travis Barker and his equally crazy wife, Shanna Moakler, making out this past weekend and Shanna supposedly looked "very pregnant."

    The ex-playmate did give this statment in early March to reporters at E!'s Paradise City Party at the Playboy Mansion:

    "I am single,Travis and I are not together. And I'm not pregnant, either."

    Hopefully she is telling the truth and has just been stocking up on the bon-bons. I guess when we see Shanna and Travis toting around a little tatooed bundle we can act surprised and pretend like we believed them all along.

    The MTV couple already have a little girl named Alabama, a boy with a mohawk, and Shanna's daughter with boxer Oscar de la Hoya.


    I guess watching Paris and Nicole whore it up in a small town just wasn't enough disturbing T.V.

    On this season of The Simple Life, which god-willing will be the last, the socialites are going to be camp counselors. The kicker? One of the camps is a fat camp! Though E! is calling it "a wellness camp focused on eating right, yoga, nutrition and exercise," it's basically a fat camp.

    That's what those kids need. I wonder what some of the activities will be?

    Nicole is quite qualified to school the kids in getting all of their necessary nutrients from one small skim latte per week, while Paris can teach driving like an idiot and the art of video making.

    Come on, let's have some fun on this Monday morning. Tell me what other things the girls are qualified to teach these poor, poor kids.

    E_AngelinaMaddox4_136.jpgAh -- how cute.

    According to UsMagazine.com, Angelina left the following thank you note at the Vietnamese orphanage where she adopted her hew son Pax:

    "Thank you for taking such wonderful care of my son. He has been with you for years. I'm sure he will miss your beautiful caring staff as much as you will miss him."

    I'm totally Brangelina obsessed again. Hooked!


    Is Rachel Bilson hooking up with Hayden Christensen? God, I hope not.

    She was seen feeding him (gag) in some new stalkarazzi photos.

    Since Rach broke up with her soul mate, Adam Brody, I was wondering who she could possibly find to fill the Seth Cohen void. And this is what she comes up with?

    Hayden is such a girlie-man. Hopefully this was just a case of ladies who lunch.

    E_AngelinaZahara2_136.jpgThat's what she told the Ho Chi Ming City Law newspaper during an interview about her new son Pax.

    "I will stay at home to help Pax adjust to his new life," Angie said. "I have four children and caring for them is the most important thing for me at the moment. I am very proud and happy to be their mother."

    As far as the flashbulbs the kiddie is going to face, Angie said: "Photographs and press coverage will make him upset. I'm very worried about that. I would like to say I'm sorry for bringing this into Pax's life."

    But photogs be damned. The mom of four says it's way more important that the little fella has a family. "Everyone would agree that children need to have a family. I have the ability to help children fulfill that desire. Why should I say no?"

    What do you think? Should Brangelina put the breaks on new adoptions for a while? Should they continue? Talk back.


    "I sell more records than Bruce Springsteen. In the last five years, I've probably sold over 100 million records. If he got $100 million, I should have got $500 million."

    -- Simon Cowell to 60 Minutes' Anderson Cooper, on why he is more famous than The Boss.

    Let the New Jersey rioting begin!


    You have to watch this video from ExtraTV.com. It's freakin' hilarious.

    I'm one of those people who can't help but laugh when I see someone fall (as long as it's not the elderly), because I have been known to take a tumble every now and then myself. One of these days I'll tell you the story of how I was running to my friend's car (so I could sit shotgun, of course) and wiped out in the middle of a very busy Brooklyn street. But, I digress.

    Carmen Electra was walking the runway at the Clothes Off Our Back charity event Wednesday night when she completely ate it on the runway. To top it all off, Days of Our Lives star Alison Sweeney tried to help Carmen up and then she wiped out! The gasps from the crowd are just too much.

    Seriously, if you need a good laugh, this one is great. I can get hysterical just thinking about it.


    This one's for Suzy and her big sis.

    Our favorite resident crack head was seen yesterday on a shopping spree with his glutton-for-punishment girlfriend, Kate Moss. All fine and good, right? Yeah, expect for the fact that Pete was toting around an open bottle of wine that he was swigging from.

    Not impressed? Here's the kicker -- it was 9 in the morning!

    In Pete's defense, I'm sure he had not gone to sleep yet, so he was really just partying very late from the night before. I mean, you know how stubborn those stoned penguins can be -- they just never want to go home!


    No, Madge didn't have her thrown into the Hudson river with cement shoes -- but something did stop Crown Publishing from going ahead with her former nanny's juicy tell-all.

    Apparently Madge's lawyers put the pressure on Crown -- big time -- but nobody's talking specifics.

    The ex-nanny "had very little already on paper ... it was very much a work in progress" when Crown pulled the plug, the Daily News reported. The paper is saying that the publishing company may have had second thoughts because the book was likely to take longer to complete than originally expected, especially with all the legal mumbo-jumbo.

    I'm not buying it. That would have been one huge best-seller. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that someone is brave enough to get that baby published.

    .

    There was a rumor running rampant yesterday that '80's comic Sinbad had died. Well, Access Hollywood has confirmed that he didn't.

    We can all breathe easy now.


    What a baby!

    Heather is pissing off British cops by incessantly calling their emergency number for help from the paparazzi.

    Um, what? Get a grip, lady! In an age of war and terrorism , how 'bout you leave that line open for people who have real emergencies.

    Heather's rep, Phil Hall, told Page Six, the police are not annoyed at her and she's just protecting herself from potentially dangerous situations.

    Chief Superintendent Kevin Moore told reporters, "Clearly, people who make lots of calls to the police run the risk of being treated as the little boy who cried wolf."

    Sounds like he's annoyed to me.

    And if she thinks she's being harassed now, wait until Dancing With the Stars premieres on Monday. Then she'll really have something to cry about.

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    It's amazing that all Reese Witherspoon needed to do to become super-hot and huge was break up with Ryan.

    Check her out on the cover of April's Harper's Bazaar -- she is the epitome of pretty!

    Reese dishes on her new look, the horrid "pink phase" she went through, her friends, how much she loves her kids, and how she partied it up for her 30th birthday. Okay, she spent it "playing Boggle and eating fried chicken" -- but I bet she looked hot doing it!

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    Britney's Website is still being revamped, but in this in between period you can send the wacky Britster well wishes during her stay in rehab. On the landing page of the site it says: Click here to send your thoughts and inspirations to Britney!

    Well, here's a thought, courtesy of my multitalented coworker Kim: Britney looks like Bat Boy with that turtle waxed head.

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    The formerly-hot O.C. star been replaced as spokesperson for Bebe. Her successor? Eva Longoria.

    The Desperate Housewives star was named the new spokeswoman for the clothier and they had some big ta-dah for her at a party at the Mondrian Hotel last night. And though I could live for a very long time without Eva getting anymore press (can we say overexposure?), I love the fact that Mischa is such a loser.

    Downward spiral -- here she comes!

    The other night Mish was puking her guts up all over the place after having one too many cocktails and now this! It's just too good, I tell you!

    E_AngelinaJolie4_136.jpgLindsey and I were just discussing Angelina Jolie's new Vietnamese son because -- let's face it -- all we do is talk about celebrity gobbledegook all day.

    Last night when word first broke that Angie had taken custody of the boy, UsMagazine.com reported that his name is Pak. Cute, I thought. Dig it. Fast forward to today when People.com gets confirmation that Angie has the boy... but that his name is Pax.

    PAX.jpgSuddenly, I'm not so happy and here's why: Every day for the last two weeks Lindsey and I have been going across the street from our office to Pax for lunch. Make your own salads in fact. So Angie's cute new son shares the name of our salad place?

    Tres distressing... though much better than McDonalds Jolie-Pitt, Cafe Metro Jolie-Pitt or Pret a Manger Jolie-Pitt for sure.

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    Has Lindsay Lohan been hanging out with Jessica Simpson's lip plumping doctor? Looks that way to me. What about you?

    Plus: Vote on more plastics in our new Celebrity Plastic Surgery gallery.

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    How freakin' gorgeous does Naomi Watts look on the cover of the March issue of Harper's Bazaar UK?

    Like it's not bad enough that she's carrying Liev Shreiber's kid, I bet she'll be one of those women who carries all in her belly, like she swallowed basketball. And I'm sure she'll be without all the other awful repercussions like all-night heartburn, a face that spreads faster than hot butter on toast, and swollen Fred Flintstone feet.

    Yet, somehow, I still manage to like her.


    I guess every actor wants to say they've acted on Broadway.

    There's been talk that Scarlett Johansson is being sought after by South Pacific producers. They want the sex-pot to star as the lead in their revival.

    And now with the buzz that Jen Aniston might be moving back to NYC, there seems to be some interest on her part to hit The Great White Way. Jen performed for one night in The 24 Hour Plays last October and was bitten by the bug.

    I think Jen should do Friends on Broadway. I would so see that.

    Check out these photos of Reese's soon-to-be-ex sticking it to the paparazzi. RyanAshlee.jpg

    Ry threw his Whopper at X-17 photographers before they even got to ask him about his rumored fling with Trashlee!

    What a waste of a good burger.

    E_TerrenceHoward_Grammys1.jpgTerrence Howard has recently been linked to Naomi Campbell, and it was baffling. I couldn't help but wonder why such a talented, gorgeous guy would hang with a such a psycho? Now it seems a little light has been shed on the mystery.

    In an interview with Essence magazine, Terrence reveals that he tried to date some of Hollywood's much hotter leading ladies, but had no luck!

    "I tried to talk to Halle [Berry] for a bit," he said. "Didn't call me back. Tried to talk to Gabrielle Union. Didn't call me back, either."

    Halle is in a serious relationship, so I can see that, but I'm pretty sure Gabby is single. What's up with that? And that's all he's got? Call Reese or Jen Aniston - both a lot less crazy than Sanitation Naomi.

    Giving him the benefit of the doubt, he is still really hung up on his estranged wife, Lori. "The only woman I really love is my wife," he said.

    Come on, Lor. Give him another chance -- and save him from the viper!


    You can take the "bf" to mean "best friend" or "boyfriend." I'll give you the story, you make the call.

    In an interview with TMZ, Jason Filyaw, a 33-year-old lead guitarist for the rock band RIVA, says he met Brit way before she lost her mind and her hair. Apparently they go "way back" to 2003, when he recorded some music with starlet at The Hit Factory in New York. They stayed in touch, but "a few weeks ago ... we met up again at a Los Angeles AA meeting."

    The rocker admits he and Brit "have grown very close" since he started to attending AA meetings with her. And it seems the dude is one smitten kitten. Though he won't confirm or deny if he and Britney are actually dating, he is wearing his heart on his sleeve.

    "I love her, I support her 100% and we are close," he gushed.

    Jason, a self-proclaimed spiritualist, said he is helping Brit get in touch with her inner most feelings to aid in her recovery.

    Okay, there it is. Are they getting it on or what? Sadly, my Spidey-sense screams "Yes!"

    The Jolie-Pitt kids can play doubles in tennis!

    According to Us Weekly, Angelina successfully completed the adoption process for her new addition. The actress and her son Maddox, 5, picked up the 3-year-old boy at the Tam Binh orphanage in the outskirts of Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam at 9am local time. He's been residing there since 2003.

    What's the little fella's name? Pham Quang Sang... though he will be renamed Pax Thien Jolie. Then, when he's back in the US and Brad officially adopts him, it will be Pax Thien Jolie-Pitt.

    So don't expect to see Pak Pitt on U.S. soil just yet. Angelina has to stay in Vietnam for a couple days, where she will meet with U.S. officials who will review the adoption and issue Pax a passport. If all goes well, Angie could bring the boy home by the weekend.

    According to local reporters, Pax is healthy, friendly and a bit shy. He also loves to play soccer.

    Well, he'll have plenty of playmates back at home with Maddox, Zahara, 2, and little Shiloh, 10 months.

    More: Evolution of Brangelina photo slide show

  • Celebrity Matchmaker: Star Kiddies game
  • Celeb Matchmaker: Star Baby Bumps
  • Star Snapshots: Photos of Shiloh, Zahara, Maddox and other famous mini-mes

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    My Blabber cohort Tracy and I met at Soap Opera Digest, so we love us some Daytime Emmys. And every year I go and report from the red carpet.

    Tyra -- over here! Tyraaaaa!! Will you pose for a photo?

    Last year -- Emmys-068.jpgwhen I was there with TV Cocktail's Sarah Mac (pictured) -- I got a great shot of Kate Walsh from Grey's Anatomy. She was late to the show and had to rush inside before the telecast began. But before she did, she turned, paused for a nanosecond and posed for me. I was tres psyched. Yay, Addison!

    The 2007 Daytime Emmy nominations were announced earlier today. Check 'em out after the jump.

    The show has been pushed back this year -- so look for it to air live from the Kodak Theater on June 15 on CBS.

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    So Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher's publicists won't talk pregnancy. Okay -- so we will. Here's a photo of Demi (with daddy-to-be Kevin Costner) that was taken yesterday at ShoWest in Las Vegas. Interesting that Mrs. Kutcher is wearing a massive overcoat -- inside! -- when it was 88 degrees in Vegas yesterday.

    Either she's expecting... or she's playing it up to make the public think she is. But what do you think?

    The announcement should be coming any day, but for now here is the latest from Demi's publicist:

    "If or when Demi is pregnant, she and her husband will decide if that extremely private information should be made public."

    In another obvious act, the media has been warned not to dig into Ashton's beeswax at the press conference he will be holding for his new upcoming show, The Real Wedding Crashers. An email that was sent out said the following:

    "Questions will be taken from in-person journalists as well as from press on the phone "Please do not ask Ashton Kutcher any 'personal' questions."

    So discreet.

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    I like Kate Mara. Maybe it's because when we first met -- at the press junket for We Are Marshall -- we cheek kissed and our earrings got stuck together. So we were up in each other's face for a minute. Good way to learn if you like a person, right? I saw her after that and she ran right over, remembering our previous entanglement, and was as charming as can be.

    Kate has two new movies this month -- Shooter (with Marky Mark) and Full of It -- and she's also got her very own Gap ad (above) that's on the back of all the celebrity weeklies at this moment. Later this year she'll be showing off her acting chops once again in Transsiberian, with Sir Ben Kingsley and Woody Harrelson.

    So keep your eye on this chickadee -- whose famous family owns both the New York Giants and the Pittsburgh Steelers -- you'll be seeing a lot more of her.

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    I enjoyed this morning's entry about wacky Fergie's airplane drama. Girl is a hot mess. But doesn't it seem like every day there's an obnoxious new story about a celebrity in the middle of a serious meltdown? Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, Isaiah Washington, Michael Richards... the list is friggin' endless.

    I must say that I like reading these train wreck stories though. I feel way better about the state of affairs in "Suzy Land" when Britney is trying to impale strangers with a golf umbrella. Maybe to kick things up, I'll try some of her action heroine moves on the next rainy day with my Totes... though carrying an umbrella in Manhattan is dangerous enough (a zillion spokes coming at cha!) without simultaneously swinging it Jackie Chan style.

    Back to the crazies, we have a new slide show on Celebrity Meltdowns that I think you'll like. Lots of fun photos of celebrities foaming at the mouth and such. Nothing better.

    Fergie leaves her wedgie-picking boyfriend for one minute and gets into trouble.

    Fergielicious was trying to board a Virgin Atlantic flight from Los Angeles to Britain, when airline staff deemed her too drunk to fly. The Daily Mirror says witnesses saw the Black Eyed Peas singer slurring her words and stumbling. "She was falling all over the place and had to be supported. She was in no state to fly."

    But when officials tried to prevent her from boarding, she flipped. "She was drunkenly ranting at staff but could barely string a sentence together. It was very embarrassing."

    Fergs had to catch another flight, while her band buddies stayed on board the original.

    I hope this is on the next episode of Airline.

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    I have a fascination with the Hollywood drug scene. If you do, too, pick up this week's issue of Us Weekly, which has tons of celebrity quotes on drugs and partying.

    Here's a taste:

    "I've slept with too many women, done too many drugs and been to too many parties. I loved acid when I was at college. It was an escape. I liked mushrooms. They were like easy acid. I did like blow…Blow would dress you up for a party, but never take you there. You’re always like, This is going to be great! Then you’re just depressed.”

    -- George Clooney, in 1997


    Check out this item in today's Daily News highlighting a conversation the paper had with Paris' parents, Kathy and Rick Hilton:

    "We know why Paris Hilton grew up to be Hollywood's wild child - her dad's a big softie. "I was stricter with the boys, I think," Rick Hilton told us at the Women's Project Gala at the Rainbow Room Monday. "I probably spoil my girls more." So does Mom crack the whip? "You play good cop, bad cop," Kathy Hilton told us, "but usually we try to agree. And now [Paris and Nicky] are over 21. They're 26 and 23." So what's the best parental advice? Says Daddy Hilton, "Know who you're getting involved with."

    Seriously? They said that?

    I think I'll rip this page out and file it among my Hilton collection. Let me see now, Paris' porn video? Check. Bouquet from Nicky's quickie Vegas wedding? Check. Nicky's annulment papers? Check. Picture of a va-ja-ja flashing Paris. Check. Paris' rap sheet, highlighting her last 7 arrests? Check. Article where Rick and Kathy must have been on crack? Check.

    Perfect!


    Well, she's getting ready.

    Cindy Adams is reporting that Jess is feeling pangs of jealousy from the recent boom of Hollywood ladies and their bitties.

    And though we're sure her bf, John Mayer, would love to procreate with her (um, no), Jess has said that she will look into adoption when she is sure she wants to take the next step. Apparently taking care of her dogs has sent her mommy gene into a frenzy.

    Does this worry anyone else? A few years a go the girl didn't know what tuna fish was.

    Mark my words -- Mischa Barton will board the rehab train before the summer's end.

    Obviously learning nothing from her recently rehabilitated sister, Mish went out partying the other night in SoHo and got so wasted that she ran out of Anchor Bar and puked on the shoes of some smokers hanging outside. She missed The Soprano's Jamie Lynn by thatmuch.

    You would think that would be enough embarrassment for one night, but nope. The washed-up O.C. babe, who witnesses said was "emotional", went back in to the club for some more refreshments.

    Stellar example for her baby sister. Maybe they can get a rehab family discount.

    Yesterday we told you that Sex and the City alum Sarah Jessica Parker was getting her own clothing line, adorably named Bitten. There was a ton of speculation if we were going to need to sell our first born children to purchase a pair of panties from said brand. Well, Page Six has gotten some details, on the down-low, that Sarah will sell her line to chain Steven & Barry's.

    S&B's is a low-priced chain! Yay! The line will include jeans, lingerie, casual wear and accessories priced from $7.98 to $14.98.

    From all of us middle class chicks, SJP, you rock!

    Now if she could just find a way to get us those Manolo's for $15...

    I'm always scared when a person who does one thing really, really well tries to take on something new.

    Christina Aguilera will guest star on an upcoming episode of her favorite show, CSI: New York.

    Executive producer Anthony Zuiker says, "Christina's a fan of the show, and we're excited to have her. The episode will probably explore the topic of battered women."

    Christina has been an avid campaigner against domestic violence after revealing her father physically abused her mother during her childhood.

    I hope she's good -- I hate when shows compromise themselves just to get a big name (think K-Fed 's stretch as a thug on CSI).

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    Welcome to the world, Liam Aaron McDermott!

    Tori Spelling gave birth to her first child earlier today in Los Angeles. The little guy weighed in at 6lbs., 6oz.

    "They're all really happy and everybody's resting now," their rep told People. "Tori and the baby are healthy."

    The baby's middle name is obviously a tribute to Tori's late father, TV producer Aaron Spelling, who died in June.

    The big baby shocker is the fact that Tori's estranged mom -- Candy -- visited with her daughter at the hospital after Tori gave birth. Mother and daughter haven't been talking for over a year.

    Access Hollywood caught up with Tori's brother, Randy, who gave the scoop on the reconciliation.

    "They've been communicating back and forth," Randy revealed. "I know my mom is there with her right now. She's been with her all morning... I think when you're family, you have your ups and downs, but hopefully you all come back together. And I'm sure the baby just makes that happen quicker."

    Happy times... at least for a day.

    That's right kids -- Donna Martin is about to graduate into motherhood.

    Extra is reporting that Tori and Dean showed up at Cedars-Sinai hospital this morning, with an about-to-bust Tori in labor!

    We'll keep you posted!

    johnny-Depp2.jpgMy whole life it's been all about the nicknames. My mom came up with my given name, Suzanne, but nobody ever calls me that... except teachers and customer service reps at utility companies. Hi Suzanne, this is Cablevision... We're sending someone out to investigate the problem.

    My mom was actually pretty disappointed that I was never known as Suzanne ("It's such a beautiful name," she sighs... regularly), but my sisters and dad came up with lots of nicknames for me -- Suzy, Sue, Suey, Suz -- and they stuck. And while I love the name Suzanne -- and secretly wish that was the name I went by -- it just doesn't feel like "me." It feels fancy -- and I'm pretty much a no frills girl. (Note the "pretty much" part.) In fact, anytime someone calls me Suzanne I cringe a little... flashbacks to the first day of school when the teacher would go over the class list and I would shyly interrupt to request that they call me Suzy instead.

    Celebrities are all about the nicknames as well -- and not just abbreviations of names... though there are those too. (Cameron = Cami, Beyonce = Bee, Sandra = Sandy, etc.) Did you know that Johnny Depp nicknamed himself Mr. Stench? And which Hollywood heartthrob -- who I don't think is all that, btw -- is called the Butterscotch Stallion for his habits in bed?

    In this week's Daily Blabber video, I'm blabbing about celebrity nicknames of course. So check it out, then tell me what you think.


    E! is reporting that Sarah Jessica Parker is launching a new fashion line called Bitten.

    No details of the upcoming couture were released, but that's a cute name, no?

    "I would like to find somebody, but there's a real lack of men in London. British boys can be a bit wimpy and a bit girlie. I don't want a guy who spends more time on his hair than I do."

    --Kelly Osbourne to London's Sunday Times


    Um, well, that might be kind of hard, Kel. What's less time than zero minutes?

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    Australian authorities are formally charging Sylvester Stallone with importing banned substances into the country after 48 vials of a human growth hormone were found in his things on a recent trip Down Under.

    It was a messy experience for Rocky, who insisted at the time that it was all a big misunderstanding.

    Okay, whatever. This will all be swept under the rug eventually, as the maximum fine Sly will pay is $22,000.

    Pocket change for the suped-up star.

    You know Danny Glover, right? He's the other guy from the Lethal Weapon movies.

    Anyway, he was pissed yesterday when a Daily News photographer tried to take his photo while he was leaving a Brooklyn courthouse.

    So pissed, in fact, that he clocked the guy in the jaw and scared the pants off of on-lookers.

    According to the photographer, Danny growled, "What gives you the right to come out here and photographer me and have your camera up in my face?" Then he punched him in the face!

    He said he wasn't going to press charges. I'm not sure why, since a courthouse employee saw the whole thing and said the photog did nothing to provoke the nut.

    The actor's lawyer blamed the shutterbug for "creating an incident. The photographer tried to prevent him from leaving. [Danny] was able to brush him away to get out."

    And by "brush" he means pummel.

    This is a goodie.

    Former American Idol finalist Mario Vasquez is facing accusations that he tried to masturbate in front of a male employee in a bathroom on the set of the show in February 2005.

    Suspiciously soon after, Mario dropped out of the competiton, citing personal reasons.

    According to the lawsuit filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court, Mario allegedly "sexually harassed" Magdaleno Olmos, assistant accountant for Fremantle Media, the company that produces American Idol.

    In the lawsuit, Olmos claims "[Mario] stared lasciviously, smiled lasciviously ... and on one occasion followed him into a bathroom ... knocked on the door of the plaintiff's stall and made eye contact through the space in the stall door."

    There's a whole list of other dirty details of the incident but, of course, nobody has any comment. Don't you love that? Because if it wasn't true, wouldn't you at least try and deny it?

    I'm going to have to side with the employee on this one. I watched that season of Idol and Mario was a front-runner. It was extremely surprising when he dropped out. I say guilty with a capital "G".

    Now, let's take a poll. When you read the title of this entry, who thought Paula did something ridiculous? Come on, raise your hands.

    For more TV gossip, visit our friends at TV Cocktail.


    Ever since TV mogul Aaron Spelling's death, his family has just fallen apart. Tori, her brother Randy, and their mother Candy have been on the outs, stemming mostly from Tori's now-defunct VH1 sitcom NoTORIous, and worsening since her father's passing.

    But now that Tori and her hubby, Dean McDermott, are about to welcome a baby boy, Candy wants to take a dip in the grandmother pool. "We have been in touch with each other and are in the process of communicating and working things out," Tor's mama told People.

    Randy is optimistic about them all being one happy family again. "My sister and my mom have been communicating for the past few weeks – and are planning to see each other soon. They are going to be there for each other and [Tori's soon-to-arrive] baby. My mom is having a grandchild, and it puts things into perspective."

    Tori painted a not-so-nice picture of her mom on that show. To be honest, she made her look like the coldest fish in the universe. And I don't know how happy I would be about it either, but if the shoe fits...

    And the honor of spinning the Sno-Go wheel and hanging out with Gelman goes to...

    Silver-haired fox Anderson Cooper!

    Well, that's just for Tuesday and Wednesday. MTV hottie Damien Fahey will cohost with Kelly on Thursday and Friday.

    Others on tap to sit in for Reege:
    Pat Sajak (my fave)
    Neil Patrick Harris (angels singing)
    Donald Trump (gag! choke! barf!)
    Jeff Probst ("The tribe has spoken")
    Martin Short ("I must say")
    Howie Mandel (It is the year of the bald man, you know)

    Who do you want to see?

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    Cute kiddie alert!

    Cure kiddie alert!

    The Sopranos star Edie Falco and her son, Anderson, hit a Mardi Gras party at F.A.O. Schwarz in NYC on Saturday. I'm not a "huggy squeezy other people's kids" type, but this little boy is pretty hard to resist.

    For more celebrity kiddie pics, check out Star Snapshots.


    They just can't stay apart, which I find, in a sick, sick way, sort of romantic.

    Pam Anderson and on-again-off-again love, Tommy Lee, were seen lunching in Santa Monica this week with their two sons, Brandon and Dylan (Pam was obviously a 90210 lover). The sweet little family reunion at the Ivy was topped off by a hot and sexy smooch between the parents.

    There's no official word if Pam and Tommy are back together, but are they ever really apart. Even when Pam was married to Kid Rock (for four whole months) there was never a doubt in my mind that Tommy would be strolling back into the picture.

    What can you do? He had her at hello.

    The chair next to Kelly Ripa will be more like a revolving door in the near future.

    Regis Philbin announced today that he needs to undergo a triple bypass heart surgery later this week. The co-host of Live with Regis and Kelly said that he had undergone several tests with different doctors and that the consensus was "there's some plaque in some arteries and I've got to get it cleaned out."

    His recovery time is indefinite and experts say his age could play a factor in how long he is out. I think it will be weird without him. Reege, who has been around for what seems like forever, is 75.

    So who's going to be hanging with Kelly every morning while we drink our coffee? Probably her hubby, Mark Consuelos, maybe a little Pat Sajak (who I think is great whenever he fills in for Regis), and a number of other ABC stars, I'm sure. Luckily for Live, Kelly could have chemistry with a doorknob.

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    So there are two new interviews you may want to check out...

    The first is Angelina Jolie talking to Newsweek about being superfamous, saving the world and her new life in New Orleans. I can't resist a good Angie interview... even if it is all about refugees and stuff.

    Even better, Kate Moss finally gave an interview (she never, ever does them) to British Vogue -- it's timed with the release of her clothing line at the UK store Topshop. Here are some highlights of the interview in which she talks about her four-year-old daughter, her baby daddy Jefferson Hack and current beau crackhead Pete Doherty:

    On becoming a mom: "I felt like, now I've got a partner in crime. I'm never going to have to be on my own again."

    On who Lila resembles: "She's a Mini-Me. I think she looks like her dad (Jefferson Hack), but there are some bits of me. Pete said the other day, 'Jefferson really looks like you, I'm thinking of asking him out.' "

    On her daughter being a fashionista: "She comes in at bedtime and says, 'Mummy, do you think this is a good look?' and then she has a fashion crisis. I say, 'You will wear what I tell you,' but she says she's the adult of the bedroom. Now we lay the clothes out before she goes to bed but then she goes, 'Mum, I need options.' When we were doing Versace [the recent ad campaign], we all had kids and they came along, like Christy [Turlington]'s little baby and Carolyn [Murphy]'s little boy, and Lila and Donatella struck up a friendship. They put a weave in her hair and she had this long blonde hair down to her waist, and she was going like" – Moss tosses her hair back, vamp-style – "and I was like, oh ... my ... god."

    On what Lila said upon meeting Brit princesses Beatrice and Eugenie: "'How come if you are princesses you don't have tiaras and a pink dress?'"

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    "He was so insufferably satisfied with himself that I wanted to strangle him." -- Jimmy Kimmel to Stuff when asked if he ever had to hide his disdain for a guest. Of course the loser who came to mind was Jared "I Took a Stage Dive and Nobody Caught Me" Leto!
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    Dada dum, dum, dum
    Another one bites the dust
    And another one's gone
    And another one's gone
    Another one bites the dust

    Mandy Moore had her fun and is now through with D.J. AM.

    Thank God that's over -- now she can get a real man.

    E_BritneyIsaac_136.jpgBritney Entry #3

    So, Isaac Cohen, who dated Britney for like a second and then completely sold his soul to the devil by revealing all kinds of really personal details about her, told People that he wants her to know one thing:

    "You and your family are in my prayers."

    I'll handle this one, Brit.

    SCREW YOU, Isaac.

    It's so sad when I have to talk about Britney twice in one sitting.

    The newest news, per Rush and Malloy, is that there is video of that fated night when Brit switched clothes with strippers in NYC. I'm talking video of her actually changing into that awful bikini-type outfit and, to make matters worse, the girls were said to be doing "some serious partying" in that back room.

    A rep for the club said that there weren't any cameras in the area behind the coat check where Brit and her new friends went to change into fishnets and bikinis. But a spy insisted, "Yes there are. There's a camera above the office back there that can see that whole room."

    And you can bet the paparazzi agencies will pay big bucks for that. If it does exist, I guarantee you'll be seeing it in minutes.

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    Unless you are living under a rock you know Eva Longoria is marrying San Antonio spurs sexy Tony Parker this summer. Well, Eva told April's issue of Cosmopolitan that she has certain rules that she and her future hubby will abide by.

    "We never go to bed angry, which sometimes frustrates Tony because he'll be like 'Please. I have a game tomorrow. I need sleep,' " she says. "Another rule we have is that nobody is ever right. I don't need to be right. I just want to be understood. The same goes for him," she adds.

    The Desperate Housewife is also apparently allowed to have male friends. "I get so much crap for having friends like Jamie Foxx and Mario Lopez, who are like brothers to me. It's difficult when you're in an insecure relationship or if your partner doesn't know where he stands with you. That's not how it is with [Tony and me]."

    Sounds suspiciously like a very healthy relationship.


    Various sources are buzzing that Demi and Ashton are expecting.

    I know, I know. We've heard it all before, but this time lots of people are talking about a bump for the marrieds.

    Just for fun let's speculate on what they'll name the kid. Remember: Demi already has Scout, Rumor, and Tullulah -- so don't guess those.

    I'm going to go with Punky for either gender. Now you go.

    That's what Perez Hilton is reporting this morning.

    Sources are saying that Lindsay Lohan and Jude Law met up at new NYC lounge The Box, and hung out for over two hours. "Lindsay is obsessed with Jude," said a friend of the teen queen.

    I smell a feud a-brewing between Sienna Miller and Lindsay!

    Linds partied with her posse until early morning before heading out. Part of said group was her mom, Dina.

    Does anyone else find that wrong? Why is this girl's mother going clubbing with her until five in the morning, when Lindsay is fresh out of rehab. And doesn't she have a younger sister who needs looking out for?

    It's just a matter of time for that little one.


    We might be seeing a divorce for Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony before we see a baby.

    Page Six is reporting that there is trouble in paradise for the Latin lovers. Though the singers are always looking like they are about to break in to a ballad when they are together, insiders are saying there's more than meets the eye there.

    "There was a fight after she performed at the Super Bowl, and when she had an album-listening party in Miami two months ago, there was an issue." According to this source, Lopez stood up and talked about her upcoming album and said, "This is my dream and Marc and I worked so hard on this album . . . Marc, would you like to say something?" Her hubby's response? "No," and looked away.

    It seems Marc wants to add another baby to his existing four children, but Jen is still so focused on her career.
    He is also talking about hopping on the Scientology train. But a friend of both said, "They fight, sure, but everyone fights." A rep for La Lopez said, "They're fine."

    That's code for "they hate each other."


    Britney has confessed to rehab staff that she has been suffering from bulimia since she was sixteen. According to the UK's The Daily Mirror, Britney’s nine-year nightmare was outed in an "American magazine" and was confirmed by a senior source at Promises.

    “Doctors are alarmed at the physical state she is in,” said the source. “They confronted her about her desperately unhealthy lifestyle and the truth came pouring out.” Brit reportedly stopped the damaging cycle while pregnant with both her boys, but reverted back to her old ways to get the baby weight off.

    Britney's now being treated by a nutritionist for the eating disorder, as well as for her alleged drug and alcohol abuse.

    I'm not surprised. When you're a young girl, and the whole world is looking at you, weight is always on your mind. I don't know any woman who isn't always trying to lose at least five pounds at all times. Imagine if people were following you all day, every day, taking your picture, and commenting on your body 24/7.

    I'll say it again. I feel for Brit. I wish her well.

    Beat those demons Brit and come back and kick ass!

    E_LindsayLohanDrink_89.jpgBecause it's Friday, and I'm a little bored, how about a round of Would You Rather? Here's today's installment:

    Would you rather party with Lindsay Lohan at an L.A. hotspot or spend a day with McDreamy on the set of Grey's Anatomy?

    E_PatrickDempsey_89.jpgPersonally, I'd way rather spend a night out clubbing with Lindsay "I Look Like My Mom" Lohan, but Suzy is all about the Grey's Anatomy set visit. Which would you choose?

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    As predicted, the rumors of Winona Ryder's death were greatly exaggerated. Here's the five-finger discount shopper leaving Il Sole restaurant on Sunset Boulevard in LA yesterday looking happy and healthy... though she was sporting all black.


    Keith Urban is bitter when people refer to him as "Nicole Kidman's husband."

    According WENN, Keith gets "extremely hurt" when the media talks about him in terms of his marriage or his recent addiction problems. The country star believes he is just that -- a star in his own right.

    Well excuuuuuse us.

    Hey, Mr. Kidman: Don't marry someone more famous than you, stay off the sauce and you won't have any problems.