Oh no -- not another celeb kid for a nanny to raise . The nanny business must be booming in La la land .

FIRST YAY and CONGRATS. And now... WTF she was engaged since when? and how come i've never heard of this guy? and a baby omgosh i wow.... Speechless?!.

OH MY GOSH, um i just saw a pic of the soon to be daddy and soon to be husband of Salma and he looks like he can be her grandpa! how old is he and ewww hes not even a little cute! OH salma u could have done sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better. Que estabas pensando? Ay dios mio que chisme!

Congrats to Selma! She will probably be a very devoted mom.

I'm a evil for wanting her to get REALLY bad stretch marks?

She has hugh hooters!!!

Imagine how big they'll get later in her pregnancy

she'll be a good mom...but you're really supposed to get married and *then* have the baby

Wow. Does he have a brother? Jk...i'm married...but does he? lol

he's 44 and she's like 40 so it's not that big of an age differance

no way!!
didnt even know she had a boyfriend! congrats

Age doesn't matter to some. He's one of the top billionaires in the world.

Bohemian, oh please. People who have the resources to get a nanny rather than send their kids to day care get a nanny. Other than being wealthier, I have found most parents with nannies to be just as attentive to their children as those who take theirs to day care. No reason to judge a person as a parent just because they have a nanny.

Great news for Selma! Congratulations and all the best! I agreed with Mag on the nanny and daycare issue.

To Meg: It is not easy for "regular young families" to raise a child -- and to have a child at 40 -- wow -- you are almost to "the change" -- your nerves , patience , and stamina are not like it was at 20 -- think about it ! And , too , the world is over populated -- think about that !

Meg
You are saying that the parent who sends their child to day care and sees the kid for 2 hours in the evening during a regular day is as good a parent that has a nanny and again, doesn't see or spend as much time with their child as, say , someone like me who is a stay at home mom and made sacrifices like buying a smaller home that my husband and I don't like but it was the one we could afford on his income and take car vacations instead of jetting off to some exocitic place?

I'm a bit passionate about the topic.

Why have children if you aren't going to raise them? Be honest, the day care people spend more time with that child during the course of a week than the working mom and dad.

By the way, I had my children at 32 and 34, not exactly young. Now I'm 40 and still home. Yes it's not easy but it's the best thing to do for my family.

To oh please : You got it right -- applause and roses to you .

Oh please, read a post before you comment on it. I said that parents who have nannies are just as attentive as parents who send their kids to day care. No mention of parents who stay home with their kids.

That said, you made a choice which you believed to be the right one for your family. Others make different choices which are meant to open different doors for their children. Note that I didn't day "better"; just "different". The parents I know who use nannies and day care do an excellent job of making sure they can be with their kids before dinner and spend all weekend home. The claim you made about the kids spending more time with day care workers than the parents is just not true.

In the end, who can say what is best for the kids: the added socialization with peers of day care or with family of staying at home? My boyfriend and I do not have kids yet, but have discussed it. His mom stayed at home with him, and he does not want me to do the same with our eventual children.

Bohemian, could you please clarify your point on the following comment? I don't know what it was in response to.

"It is not easy for 'regular young families' to raise a child -- and to have a child at 40 -- wow -- you are almost to 'the change' -- your nerves , patience , and stamina are not like it was at 20 -- think about it ! And , too , the world is over populated -- think about that !"

Meg
You have obviously not done the math. That's ok, I'll do it for you.

Lets say a typical mom or dad works 9-5. So wake up the child at 8:00 am, drop it off at day care by 8:30 to get to work at 9:00. Pick up the child at 5:30 and get home at 6:00. Don't forget the time it takes to make dinner, and put your child to bed at 8:30 pm. that means that for that day you have seen your child for maybe three and a half hours. But were they good quality hours?

ok, now multiply that by 5 days and you have 17 hours during the week you see your child, while a day care worker was with them for 45 hours.

Now on the weekend, yes you do see your child more. 12 hours on Saturday and Sunday. Thats 24 plus 17 and thats 41 hours week.

It takes effort regarding socialization. I've joined a Mom's Club and a play group and signed up my kids for activities. There is plenty of socialization out there if you want it. If you choose to stay home and do nothing, than as a parent you suck.

Don't pretend to know what is best for a child when you don't even have one.

Single friends told us that we would do more harm to our children by me not working. A Mom can pick out of a group of kids who are stay at home kids and who are day care kids. Don't kid yourself, they are very different.

When I was young, I was career all the way. As I got older, I realised some things are more important.

I have friends who work because their husbands want them to (just like your boyfriend). The husbands want more money coming in. The wives don't want to work. But they bought big houses that has no furniture in the dinning room and living room because they can't afford to buy it.

There are two sides to every story but Meg, at this stage in your game, you are not even in the picture.

I would not change a thing.

oh please,
i certainly don't think that you're a better mom than i am ; eventhough
my child goes to daycare.
it's important for me to share the financial charges with my husband. in case something happens to him, i need to feel secure that i'll be able to provide for my family.
i also need to show my daughter that being a woman does not mean sacrifing her soul, her aspiration, the fulfilment of her self.
my husband shares with me the emotionnal charge. he too needs to feel secure that if something happens to me, he'll be able to manage the emotional needs of our family .
we both spend our free time with our daughter , and each time ,is then quality time!

Oh please, you might want to listen to your own advice. "There are two sides to every story." You seem to be shutting one out. And my current decision to work after children (note, my decision--supported by my boyfriend, but not due to his thoughts on the subject other than his knowing what having a stay-at-home mother is like) is due to a belief that parents serve a function to their children of being more experienced in the world. I would not feel prepared to offer advice to my kids when sending them out in the world if I hadn't experienced a good deal of the way it works for several years. Granted, I don't have kids, and my views may change once that happens. But being stubborn and closed minded is not the way I intend to make that decision.

mel & meg
First of all I have experienced much in the world. I am a college graduate. I have had the privilage of traveling in Europe and around the USA. I moved to a different state on my own (which at the time was the most difficult thing I had done) with my possessions in my car. I was a buyer for a major department store when I got married and before I left to have a family. At that time I was making over 50% more money than my husband so when I stopped working our income was cut by well more than half. I can provide for my family should something happen.

I find it insulting that because I chose to stay home I am "sacrificing my soul". NO I am showing that the most important thing to me is my family.

If you are ok with someone else spending more time with your child during the course of a week than you do, then Godspeed.

As for advice on the world. I would never presume that I have the knowledge necessary for that. I want my kids to take risks and fail and get up again. If they want to do something that I know will fail, I will not tell them to not do it. That is the worst thing a parent could do to a child. I want my children to be strong and not afraid.

I will encourage them to go away to school and experience all that life has to offer. Now when they ask me for advice, I don't tell them what to do, I encourage them to think outside the box

Whether you or I think we each are the better parent is irrelevant.

Finally, let us agree to disargee and move on.

I cant believe she's pregnant! How cool. I wonder if its a boy or a girl... Wasn't she in that 1 movie where she found her soul-mate 'Alex Whitman' and she gets pregnant, divorced, has a baby, and gets married again! Yes, what was that called again...

Well guys -- are you done arguing ? There is no wrong or right way of raising a child -- you do the best you can and that is it ! I admire anyone who survives raising kids . I sent my kids out into the world and told them do the best you can --- they all three joined the military . I am so proud of them and so satisfied with what they have done with their lives --- they are doing the best they can . I am patting myself on the back --- I must have done something right and done the best I could .

Oh please, I think agreeing to disagree is best, which means not judging someone as inferior as a parent because they spend less time with their children than you do. And that was my point from the beginning: that judging someone as a parent because they have a nanny (and my later point, because they use day care) is unfounded. We all try to do what we believe is best for our families. Best to leave it at that. Good debate, though. :)

I agree -- and I am so glad I live in America where we are free to have these debates .

yes, good debate.

This is a highly charged topic where the two sides are very different. thats what makes it interesting.

Though it may not have shown yesterday, I respect someone who stands up for their belief, even though it may be different from mine.

love this blog and all oponions on it.

Still friends!!! :)

One other thing...there are other blogs on this site that are so boring. It's the same group of people who just keep saying to eachother "oh, your so great" over and over again.

No matter what they do. "I went shopping to day"..."oh thats great".
Or "I cheated on my husband yesterday".."thats ok, you are great, just don't do it again".

I'm not kidding. This blog is interesting because we disagree and agree.

Keep up the different oponions!!!

Here's to strong-headed women. Cheers!

Here's to all women who are raising their kids the best they how --- enjoyed this site --

Oops -- got distracted -- darn phone -- Here is to all women that are raising their kids the best they can --- I must say this , though , I do not approve of some celebs who have their pictures taken with their "adorables" and the nanny is standing in the background waiting to take over !

still friends!

we' re all doing the best we can (celebs included ) , and we sure all deeply love our children!

long live women of the world !
vive les femmes!
ein hoch auf die frauen!
viva le donne!
viva las mujeres!
levendig de vrouwen!
ζωντανός οι γυναίκες !
vivo as mulheres !

The boyfriend billionaire looks hot to me! Rather see her with him than with the younger guys she's been dating. Way to go, gal!

i doubt shes pregnant the tabloids are always trying to make everyone out to be pregnant and if she is good for her