So I'm all into lists lately.

So many of you weighed in on who you think should be named the most annoying T.V. personality, I found another list we can talk about/add to.

Ebay did a survey that asked, "Which celebrity's closet would you most want to raid?" -- the answers will shock you!

1. Oprah Winfrey
2. Bill Gates
3. Jay Leno
4. Tiger Woods
5. Jennifer Aniston

Bill Gates? Unless he hides his money in his closet I have no interest in going anywhere near it. Really Ebay's whole list is mind-blowing, except for Jennifer Aniston, but then I thought about who is actually taking the surveys on Ebay; my dad, probably the weird guy in my town who owns the tackle shop, etc...

Here's my personal list:
Sarah Jessica Parker (you know she has all those SATC shoes)
Jennifer Aniston (simple yet stylish)
Lisa Rinna (cute T-shirts and what-not)
Sarah Michelle Gellar ( always looks put together)
Reese Witherspoon (the new one)
Madonna (she's Madonna!)

Now you go!

Keri, who married earlier this year, is promoting her new movie Waitress, which premieres on Wednesday. Her baby will make his or her debut this summer.

So I must report that my embarrassing moment of joining The Killers fan club to score tickets for Saturday night's sold out show at Madison Square Garden paid off ridiculously well. My tickets kicked ass -- standing on the floor, front and center, directly in front of the stage. Right in front of Brandon Flowers. I'm talking feet away. I could see him sweat. I could see him smile.

And the place was packed. The last time I saw so many people at the Garden was U2's last tour. I had paid about $150 for my seats and, compared to the Killers tix, they were a mile away from where I was on Saturday. The guys in the band must have been tripping that they sold out the Garden. They should be. Pretty cool.

Their opening act was cool too -- a band dubbed the Japanese Beatles -- called the Silver Beats. All covers. And the frontman (Japanese John) looked just like Lennon. I'm a Beatles freak, so it was yet another Suzy All-Star Night.

I was so covered in the confetti that showered down over the stage that I kept finding it all day Sunday. The party just kept coming.

Sure enough, Fox news is reporting that Elisabeth will be announcing this morning on the show that she and her football hubby, Tim, will welcome a new baby this fall. The very cute, very conservative voice of the show, who is reportedly about three months along, has been open about wanting to give their daughter, Grace, 2, a sibling.

The pregnancy means the expectant mommy will most likely be out on maternity leave right around the time the show premieres in the fall. As things stand now, that leaves only Joy Behar and Barbara Walters as regulars, and Babs is only there a few times a week.

Just change the name to The Joy Behar Show and be done with it.

The New York Post is saying that loud-mouth comedienne Roseanne Barr is the leading contender to fill Rosie O'Donnell's spot on The View.

"She's a piece of work, she's a character, she says what's on her mind and she's funny," said a source close to the show about Roseanne. "They're missing strong personalities on that show, and that's what they're going to need if they want to keep it going," another ABC staffer said.

During an appearance on Larry King last week, Roseanne was vague about her future plans."I'm not looking for the job," she said at one point. "Well, I want $10 million, like Rosie," she later joked. She also never came right out and said she wouldn't take the gig if offered.

Ro's rep says she hasn't been approached by the show.

Other contenders mentioned as possible replacements -- Joan Rivers (God help us), Whoopi Goldberg (could be decent), Kathie Lee Gifford (NO MORE CODY AND CASSIDY, EVER!) and Connie Chung (Boring!).

Roseanne does seems like the best fit out of these options, but I think they should keep looking.

Oh, and Babs, I'm available.

Okay, so who's surprised that Leonardo Dicaprio likes to date models? Nobody, right? Leo had a nice long relationship with Victoria's Secret model Gisele, and has most recently been dodging engagment/baby rumors with current steady, Bar Refaeli.

But Bar wasn't the model on his arm late Friday night at Marquee. Onlookers say that James Blunt's ex Petra Nemcova and Leo were quite the cozy twosome at the club.

"He looked like he was all over her," says a witness."They were together from before 12:30 to around 2:30. He was holding her waist and touching her arm. Also, he was smoking up a storm - chain-smoking, almost."

The spy felt the need to express that, although the pals were, ahem, friendly, nothing indicated that Leo was messing around behind Bar's back.

Uh-huh. Then why tell the story at all, big mouth?

Lindsay Lohan -- practical joker or cunning thief?

Perez Hilton is reporting that Lindsay's good pal Kelly Osbourne had her purse stolen at a GQ party Saturday night and Kelly's friends are saying that Lindsay herself swiped the bag!

"Kelly is so upset and angry," says Kelly's bud. "We're all almost certain that Lindsay stole the purse or threw it in a garbage bin. She thinks doing sh-t like that is funny!"

They say Kelly is offering a reward for the return of her belongings, but we're pretty sure that's not why Lindsay took it.

Britney's meltdown may have been the best thing that has happened to her since her catholic school girl uniform.

Page six is reporting that two top magazines are vying for a "Britney Makeover" cover to go with the story of her new family feud. Allure is said to be in talks with the rejuvenated pop star to scoop the tell-all story that will surely sell trillions of copies. A rep for the mag said, "We would love to have Britney, but nothing is scheduled yet."

They had better step on it because Vanity Fair is hot on their heels, also trying to snatch up Brit.

Expect the cover to grace your supermarket check-out lines right around November, when Brit's new album is set to drop.

Former Top Ten finalist Jessica Sierra was busted on felony battery and drug charges early Sunday in Tampa, when she clocked a guy over the head with a heavy glass. The victim suffered a cut over his eye. Cops then found a small amount of cocaine while searching Jess.

The 2005 AI crooner was released Sunday afternoon on $11,500 bail.

I'm smelling an American Idol Bad Girls porn at any moment.

I don't look too horrific, so I'm passing along the link to this week's gossip week in review. Topics? Hugh Grant's bean toss, Rosie & Donald and, of course, Miss Britney.

Let's have some fun.

Netscape created a list of the Top Ten Most Annoying TV Personalities. Here's how they ranked their faves:

10 - William Shatner
9 - Billy Bush
8 - David Hasselhoff
7 - Rosie O’Donnell
6 - Donald Trump
5 - Kathy Griffin
4 - Nancy Grace
3 - Ryan Seacrest
2 - Joan Rivers

And the number one most annoying person on your idiot box is...

Bill O' Reilly

Not all of the people I would choose, but everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Here's who I think they missed:

Rachael Ray (How many times a day can you hear Yum-O!)
Bernie Mac (don't know why, he makes me crazy)
Paula Abdul (do you really need an explanation?)
Any of those judges (Judy, Hatchett, etc.)
That kid on the McCormick's commercial who says, "Pepper, Madam" (seriously hate him)

Who makes you want to bash in your screen?

I guess those Scientologists really stick together.

Tom Cruise's friend and fellow Scientologist, Jenna Elfman, tells People that Tom and Katie really do have a good marriage.

"Honestly, they're happy," Jenna said at the Healthy Child Healthy World benefit in Santa Monica on Thursday. "They have a great life and they love each other. For some reason, the media cannot experience that. They must put in things other than the simplicity of it."

The Dharma and Greg star insisted that the recent reports of Katie being trapped and controlled by Tom are way off.

"It's totally irrelevant, because it's so absolutely not that," Jenna said. "It's hard to give a detailed explanation on something that's simple. Honestly, do any of you have a great boyfriend or girlfriend? It's not a big deal, right? You have fun hanging out, and you like talking and sharing your ideas. It's exciting. That's their relationship."

I want to believe that, Dharma, really I do.

So when Beyonce tooted her own freakin' horn again about how cool the digital editing is in her new video, and how she and Shakira look so similar, she can barley tell which dancing hair ball is her, I almost lost my mind.

"For the video, they put us in a room together for about two hours and we just came up with the choreography and played off the fact we look similar," B yapped. "It was really cool because I don't even know who is who sometimes - even I get confused!"

WHATEVER.

Not that I'm this crazy Shakira-lover, but Beyonce even thinking she looks as good as Shakira belly dancing, irks the life out of me.

Maybe I'm just being cranky on this dreary Friday morning, but that girl is on my last nerve.

He's hot, no?

And I bet you can even yell "You totally brought sexy back, Justin!" without getting any eye-rolling from him.

Sometimes it's not so great to be married to a movie star.

Sandra Bullock's husband, motorcycle man Jesse James, was attacked by a woman obsessed with his wife. Cops say that Sandy and Jesse's kid looked on as Marcia Valentine "attempted 3 or 4 times to run Jesse James over with her silver Mercedes" Sunday night.

Not very congenial.

Jesse was not hurt, as he was never struck by the car during the alleged incident.

When the cops arrived on the scene, the crazy lady had already fled, but after an "intense manhunt", officers found her early Monday morning and took her into custody. She is being held on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon.

A rep for Sandy and Jesse said, "The incident did occur. Both Jesse James and Sandra Bullock are fine and it is now in the hands of the authorities."

Are Star Jones and Meredith Vieira secretly doing a jig and high-fiving now that Rosie has decided to leave The View?

Nope. Well, not in public, anyway. The former co-hosts of the gab-fest told Access Hollywood that they were both shocked by Rosie's announcement that she's moving on, but had nothing but words of encouragement for Ro and the show they used to call home.

"I actually was surprised," Meredith said. "I heard rumblings in the past that she may not stay beyond the one year. The show has done so incredibly well and it's revitalized itself and she's put a lot of great energy into it. And it appears that she's having a really good time and I thought probably she would stay on. I don't know exactly what happened. I take her on her word that they couldn't reach an agreement on the contracts, and as she says, 'It's showbiz. That happens.'" The Today co-host added, "She will do great and The View will do great. I spent nine years there and the people in front of the cameras and behind-the-scenes are phenomenal at what they do and they will be fine."

And there was no moustache-twirling by Star, either.

"I actually found out on the plane. I was flying in yesterday and my seatmate said, 'Did you hear that Rosie is leaving The View?' I had no idea and when I landed, of course, I found out that she announced it." Star added, "I wish her the very best in what she is doing next as I do for all the ladies over there, and I know whatever they do next is going to be great."

So it's all love-love. BORING!

The View had better get a fiery replacement for Rosie or they'll be dead in the water in no time.

Here's the scenario: The New York Daily News outed Tyra for "dine and dashing" when she was recently out to eat with Russell Simmons and his two daughters. But Tyra said on her talk show that she didn't realize that she d&ded until she read it in the paper.

"We're getting up and I'm like, 'Russell, I got it [the check],' and I'm opening up my wallet and [he said], `No Tyra, I got it...'" Tyra explained on her show. "We leave and I read the damn Daily News and they're saying that I'm cheap and I didn't pay the bill."

So Tyra showed up -- trailed by cameras galore -- and made good on her word to pay up... along with a $100 tip for her waiter.

As for Russell, Tyra said: "I couldn't even find his butt... He didn't think I paid, he said he was gonna pay and he didn't... It's embarrassing."

But, more importantly, do you think Tyra's wearing Spanx in these photos? I'm now obsessed with her undergarments.

This is gettting ridiculous.

First Snoop Dog was forced to cancel his performance with Diddy in the United Kingdom, and now the rapper is being kept out of Australia, where he was scheduled to partially host MTV's Australian Video Music Awards.

Australian Immigration Minister Kevin Andrews says, "The reality is in relation to this man, that he was given a warning the last time [he was in Australia], he has a whole string of convictions, and, just two weeks ago I was told he was convicted on a number of charges again and sentenced to three years' imprisonment on two, and three years' imprisonment on another, with five years' probation and a suspended sentence. He has been denied entry into the United Kingdom because he was caught with others causing affray at Heathrow Airport. He doesn't seem the sort of bloke we want in this country."

I just find it crazy that this is who they are banning from their country. Don't they have bigger fish to fry. Aren't tons of people Down Under smoking the ganja? Snoop is hardly a threat to national security -- let him do his thing and he'll be on his way.

What's so hard about calling a cab? Or hiring a driver when you're rich?

Rapper/actress Eve was arrested early this morning on suspicion of driving under the influence after crashing her car on Hollywood Boulevard.

Eve's gold Maserati hit the center divider on the street, totalling the front of the car. TMZ was at the scene of the accident and reports that the police arrived and put a "visibly upset" Eve in handcuffs. There were, reportedly, two other passengers in the car.

Not that anyone should ever drive under the influence, for any reason, but you certainly shouldn't take the chance in a gold Maserati. Take my taxi advice, or if you're trying to fly under the radar, get a royal blue Malibu.

The paparazzi has pushed another Hollywood star over the edge.

Hugh Grant was arrested Wednesday night and questioned by police in London, after a photographer accused the actor of attacking him with a tub of baked beans.

Yes, I said baked beans.

Photographer Ian Whittaker told the Daily Star that Hugh went nuts on him, kicking him, before tossing the plastic container of legumes his way.

The actor's lawyer admitted the an incident had occurred and was under investigation. Hugh was freed on bail and ordered to return in May.

This just confirms what I always thought anyway -- Hugh has got some set of beans on him.

Can you imagine Prince, or The Man Formerly Known as Prince, or that weird symbol guy, making fun of somebody else?

I guess if he was going to pick anyone to mock, Paris Hilton would be the best choice.

According to Us Weekly, Par was in the audience for Prince's performance at Club 3121 in Las Vegas last week, when Prince invited the heiress on stage to belt out a tune with him. Obviously Paris was stoked to be called upon by the star, and to be in front of an audience, but when she got on stage Prince handed her a mic and said "“Let’s see if she can really sing."

Well, Paris wouldn't stand for such humiliation and stormed off the stage, said the source, leaving the club just two songs later.

Paris' rep said it never happened and Prince's people had no comment, but it's so true. And I am loving this new feud. I hope to see these two in a celebrity death match. I'm pretty sure Paris could take Prince. What do you think?

“Like, without cigarettes, I would be doing heroin, probably, on a daily basis.”

--- Nicole Richie's pinnacle of health boyfriend, Good Charlotte's Joel Madden, to Blender

Alec Baldwin is the man most in need of damage control right now, so the controversial dad taped a segment scheduled to air on The View this Friday.

According to People, Alec's appearance included an "emotional apology" for the out of control message he left on daughter Ireland's voicemail.

"Obviously calling your child a pig or anything else is improper and inappropriate and I apologize to my daughter for that," Alec said on the show. "There's nothing wrong with being frustrated or angry about the situation," he added. "It's the way you do it, and as people often do in this world, I took it out on the wrong person."

Alec also insisted his tirade was an isolated incident. "In my own case, with this message, I had never done this before in my life," he said.

Alec told the ladies at The View that he asked NBC to release him from his contract for 30 Rock because he doesn't want the show or its cast and crew to be negatively affected by him. "If I never acted again I couldn't care less," he told the audience. "I would like to devote myself to the cause of parental alienation." He says his in the process of writing a book about the subject.

I'll be watching on Friday to see how Alec comes off, and I'm a big pushover, so I'm sure I'll feel bad for him. But I can't help but keep in mind that the man is an actor -- and a good one at that.

On of my spies saw the America's Next Top Model diva buying Spanx at Bloomingdales over the weekend. But not just one pair of the body slimmers that Oprah swears by. Tyra was seen buying 15 pairs of Spanx.

Not sure if she's was shopping for the WNBA or her Top Models or herself, but she was most definitely loading up.

We are all well aware that Melanie B. believes Eddie Murphy is the father of her new baby girl, Angel, but did you know that she's still in love with the jerk? This news comes from Mel's best friend, Christa Parker, who told Closer magazine that Scary is "desperate to rekindle their romance."

Christa also gave some insight in to how Melanie and Eddie's relationship turned sour. The two had a huge fight after Eddie refused to accompany Mel to a doctor's appointment, and then told her she wasn't invited to attend a black-tie function with him. Mel packed her things and moved her stuff out of his mansion, where she was spending most of her time, thinking the separation would send Eddie running back to her.

Not so. Soon after, Eddie showed up at the Dreamgirls premiere with new girlfriend, Tracey Edmonds, on his arm. Ouch.

But you can't help who you love, I guess. Christa says, "Mel admitted to me she would always love Eddie. Even after the way he has treated her and snubbed his own daughter, I think Mel would still take him back. Mel was upset that Eddie didn't get in touch, she obviously still feels something. But she loves her daughter and is determined to make the best of things, with or without Eddie in her life."

I don't know about you, but I would hope my best friend wouldn't be spilling my business around town. Oh yeah, and Christa also told the paper that she and Mel had a fling of their own! Mel's compadre said that the singer seduced her after a night of drinking, shortly after they met.

This wasn't the first lesbian relationship for Mel, who had been dating a female film executive in 2004. At the time Mel said "people can call me lesbian, bisexual or heterosexual, but I know who's in my bed and that's it - I have huge libido and a great sex life."

But who cares, right? Mel likes the ladies a bit and Eddie likes the transvestite hookers. To each his own.

As expected, Angelina Jolie has filed legal papers to change the name of her newly adopted son to Pax Thien Jolie-Pitt.

So why didn't she just give the kid the surname Jolie-Pitt in the first place? Good question, my Blabber-ers. Vietnam has strict rules about couples who aren't married adopting children together. So Angie adopted Pax as a single parent -- and now that she's back in the US, she's making Brad the "Brad Dad."

The prom queen is graduating!

Vanessa Minnillo told People that she's leaving MTV's Total Request Live. This move isn't a total shock -- rumors that this was happening circulated around the time Vanessa took the "next step" with her boyfriend, Nick Lachey, moving in together recently.

"I had my four years there like high school or college," Vanessa told the mag. "I'm ready for the next chapter – what it is, I have no idea. [But] I don't want to be 48 saying, 'Hey kids, now it's Sean Preston Spears's video.' "

Coming up next for Ness? A limited-edition makeup line for Flirt! Cosmetics and a cameo in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. In other words, we haven't seen the last of her... whether or not that's a good thing.

As Tracy predicted earlier, Rosie O'Donnell confirmed her departure from The View in the first two minutes of today's show. She laughed that it was being considered "Breaking News" by CNN, saying:

"I've decided that we couldn't come to terms with my deal with ABC, so next year, I'm not going to be on The View. However, I will be coming back and guest-hosting. I will be doing one-hour specials on autism and depression and stuff that I'm interested in. I'm just not going to be doing the everyday thing because you know, they wanted me three years, I wanted one year... and it just didn't work, and that's showbiz.. I'm not going away, I'm just not going to be here everyday."

Head over to TV Cocktail to read what Barbara Walters had to say about Rosie's announcement, and vote for whether you'll keep watching the show. Vote now!

Drew Barrymore!!!!

Our girl Drew has been voted into the coveted spot of People Magazine's Most Beautiful and is gracing the cover of their 2007 Beautiiful People issue. Her response to the honor? "[It] made my peacock feathers shine in the golden-hour light and extend to the heavens."

Okay, then!

Drew tells the mag that she feels the most gorg when she has just pumped some iron. "Right after I've worked out and I'm sweating all over the place and my face is two different colors of white and red and my hair is half wet, half dry and I look like I'm about to have a heart attack. I feel like I've changed the shape of my body temporarily into something more flexible and strong."

Great choice, People. Drew is beautiful from the inside out!

The cover story is all about Katie's life in the Cruise jail, where Tom has reportedly ordered Kate to take "mommy classes taught by Scientologists," so she'll be able to raise Suri in accordance with the robots and their laws.

Make sure you tune in to The View today.

TMZ says this is the day Rosie O'Donnell will announce that she will not be returning for another season of the ladies gabfest. People at the website has spoken with "multiple industry people who say the word is spreading and the info emanated from inside the show itself."

If Rosie does admit to parting ways with the show today, she will most probably finish out the season with Barbara Walters and the others.

There's no denying that Rosie's stay on The View has been controversial. I mean the woman has had a feud with half of America, but I think she was really able to breathe new life into a show that was stale and boring. And though she was really opinionated most of the time, I admired the fact that she wasn't afraid to speak her mind and stick to her guns.

I may be in the minority, but I'll miss Rosie's big mouth.

Run, Brit, run!

Rush and Malloy are reporting that creepy father of the year, Joe Simpson, daddy to Jessica and Trashlee, is interested in becoming Britney's new manager! While Brit just had a big public falling out with her own pop, the word on the street is that Joe wants to swoop in and take his place.

Sources say Joe tried to get a meeting with Britney this past weekend, but Jessica's rep denies it.

Yes, Joe has managed to steer his girls clear of the drugged up rehab scene so far, but that man is just icky. He obviously has an affinity for buxom blondes, and is just a tad too affectionate when it comes to his daughters. Can you imagine what he'll be like with someone not related to him?

Not that this is anything new, but apparently Katie Holmes' friends continue to worry about her. They say Tom is "meddling, controlling and won't let her out of his sight."

And it looks like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Tom's mother is also always on Katie's case, chiming in on what she's wearing with, "Isn't that too revealing for a wife and mother?" She reportedly watches what Katie feeds Suri, makes sure Katie doesn't eat anything good, saying nobody loves a fat wife, and tattles everything back to Tom.

Since Katie started filming her new flick, Mad Money, Tom and his mom are around 24/7. Star rag says Tom didn't like the location of the company's opening party, then he didn't like the people invited, then he didn't like sitting with others, then he didn't like dining without his own personal entourage, then he didn't like going at all.

Remember my Sleeping With the Enemy reference? Tom's probably organizing the canned goods as we speak.

"You are sorry later, that's what I would tell them," Stevie tells Blender Magazine. "If I had gotten it together a little more, I would have had a better career. I would have made a couple more great albums." She adds, "I'm more worried about Britney than Lindsay, because I think Lind say is a serious actress."

Take note girls, this is one lady who knows what she's talking about.

"You've got a man who's madly in love with his daughter who lives on the other side of the coast, who doesn't get to see her very much. It's wrong to speak to your daughter like that. I would never talk to my daughter like that, but his daughter lives with Kim and we have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. People lose it, forgive him. Don't throw stones when you live in a glass house -- we are not here to judge and criticize what other people do."

While Eddie Murphy takes a wait and see approach as to whether or not Melanie Brown's baby daughter is of his seed, the former Spice Girl is plowing ahead with her paternity claim.

Earlier today, Melanie's peeps issued a statement saying that her daughter, who was born April 3, was given Eddie's surname. The girl's name is Angel Iris Murphy Brown.

According to the release, the name was inspired by a number of things.

"Angel, as she was my little angel through my pregnancy. Iris, as it's my grandma's name, Murphy because he's the dad, and Brown, because I'm the Mum!"

She sounds pretty convinced, Eddie. What cha gonna do now?

Well, your daughters will be safe for at least the next 23 days.

Girls Gone Wild sleaze bag, Joe Francis, was sentenced to 35 days in jail after pleading guilty to contempt charges stemming from failed negotiations over a case involving seven women who claimed they were victimized by the loser and his cameras. Joe will be fined $5,010 and will serve 23 more days (he's already done 12) in a Florida jail.

After he does the Federal time, he'll then have to deal with state officials, who plan to arrest the dummy for possession of drugs and cash while he was in lockup.

After Alec Baldwin bawled out his daughter for not answering her phone, Ireland's mother has something to say. Kim Basinger is asking her ex to get some help and "finally address his unstable and irrational behavior," according to a statement from her rep.

"Everybody is always asking why this custody battle has been going on for so many years and now they have the answer," says the statement, released Monday. "The issue is not about Kim or the alleged alienation that Alec constantly refers to. It is about his ongoing aggressive behavior."

According to popular belief, Kim's rep says the actress "did not release the voicemail," but adds the message "was not sealed under a court order." Alec's attorneys had claimed the voicemail was in fact kept in a sealed court file, and leaked by his ex's people.

"Kim's sincerest wish is for him to finally address his unstable and irrational behavior so he, at some point, can potentially create a relationship with his daughter," says her rep's statement. "Until then, Kim will continue to protect and safeguard her child's well-being as any parent would."

And by "protect" she means hire a big-ass bodyguard "in response to the media attention on her daughter in order to allow Ireland to maintain her regular routine and activities uninterrupted," the statement says.

Right. That poor girl will not be able to do anything "regular and uninterrupted' for years, thanks to her idiot parents.

"I was brought up on Guns 'N Roses, the Les Miserables soundtrack and anything my mother listened to. But it's harder to find great music these days. We have Amy Winehouse now, I guess, and Bono. But still our biggest bands back home are crap."

-- Kirsten Dunst's thoughts to the Mirror U.K. on America's music scene

Nice. Way to support your homeland, Benedict Arnold.

I'll admit it -- I love The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Loved the books, loved the movie, loved the cast. I specifically loved America Ferrara playing Carmen, the sassy and sensitive one of the group, whose one crying scene in the movie absolutely broke my heart and made me fall head over heels for her. And this was way before she ever put that poncho on.

Now the producers of The Pants are exercising their rights to bring back all four girls for the sequel, which I have been waiting for. But it seems America the Beautiful is not so happy about having to do the second film. The Hollywood Reporter is saying she is being "forced" to reprise her role in the female-bonding flick.

Though her rep had no comment, I choose not to believe this story. Maybe I'm in denial but I, admittedly, have watched the "extras" on the DVD and those girls had the time of their lives doing that movie. I so wanted to be one of them. I'd like to think America would jump at the chance to hang with her girls again, especially since The Pants 2 is scheduled to start filming in June, during her Ugly Betty hiatus.

You listen here, America. You'll zip up those pants and you'll like it, you hear?

I really think we should start reporting on who doesn't go to rehab, but for the time being here's one more for all of you who are keeping a list.

The Tudors star, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, has checked himself into a facility, reports People. "After a non-stop succession of filming Jonathan Rhys Meyers has entered an alcohol-treatment program," rep Meredith O'Sullivan says. "He felt a break was needed to maintain his recovery."

Jon kept busy doing the flick Match Point with ScarJo, play the King in The Tudors, and just recently finished filming August Rush with Keri Russell and Robin Williams. But his rep promises, "Jonathan plans to resume his schedule following completion."

Rehab is obviously the new place to party.

According to UsMagazine.com, Vince Vaughn recently spent the night at ex-girlfriend Jennifer Aniston's home. Neither of them is talking about their sleepover, but we are! Take a minute to tell me:

Do you want Jen and Vince to reunite?

Spill it below!

But perhaps I am narrow-minded in my thinking and you all will be lining up for next week's Tribeca Film Festival, where they will be showing The Business of Being Born, a movie about just that.

Ricki Lake. Giving Birth. In a bathtub.

"I am naked at 195 pounds giving birth in my own bathtub," the actress told the Huffington Post. "It can't get any more intimate than that!"

You said it, Ricki.

Feel free to (choke, gag) get your tickets now.

Is there anyone in Hollywood who likes Lindsay Lohan?

I mean, if good girl Keira Knightly has a problem with you, something's got to be up!

The two ladies have had a falling out since Linds dropped out of Keira's new film, The Best Time of Our Lives. According to sources on the set, Lindsay changed her mind about doing the film just days before they were scheduled to start filming.

Adding fuel to the fire, Keira's mom, Sharman Macdonald, wrote the screenplay and Keira was supposedly instrumental in getting Lindsay the part. The movie had great buzz, primarily because the script contained a lesbian love scene for Keira and Lindsay.

Maybe that's why Keira's so mad?

Amy Winehouse may or may not have made the right move when she accepted a proposal from her boyfriend, Blake Fielder Civil.

Why so pessimistic, you say? Well, it seems as if Amy and Blake dated a few years ago but broke up when Amy found out her boy had a little side dish. After they split Amy dated chef Alex Claire, but she wound up back in Blake's arms and now they plan to get married.

"He proposed at home a few days ago," Winehouse told the Sun newspaper, "and I took a day to finally agree. Obviously we are both young and it is frightening. But it is the right thing to do. That is why I agreed."

Such excitement! Don't hurt yourself doing back flips, Amy.

Nope, this is not an old story and it's not about Pam.

Tommy Lee tried to stick it to his nemesis, Kid Rock, once again this weekend when he attempted to get with Kid's new girlfriend, May Anderson. May and Tommy were attending the Victoria Secret's party at Tao Beach in Las Vegas when Tommy made his move.

"He was desperately trying to talk to May," said one onlooker. "Tommy even sent members of his entourage over to ask her to join him at his table."

Luckily for Kid, May refused the invitation and hung out with her model friends instead.

Come on, Tommy! Give the Kid a break. You'll always have Pam, isn't that enough?

"And my boobs are completely out of control. When my milk comes in, I'm going to be able to feed a small village."

-- a very pregnant Jaime Pressly to Redbook

It's totally worth a laugh on this lazy Friday. Dude needs help.

In the May issue of Harper’s Bazaar, TrAsh says:

“I loved how I looked. I’m not an insecure person, nor was I before. It’s a personal choice. I believe if somebody chooses to do plastic surgery, it [should be] for yourself, not for anyone else.”

We've been waiting eight months for a comment and that's the best she could do? She's such a schnoz -- oops, I mean snooze.

"I was very sexual in kindergarten. I was a member of a group called the Kissy Girls. I created a game where I'd kiss the boys and give them all cooties. Then we'd make out and we'd take our clothes off. I got in trouble a lot."

-- Angelina Jolie to OK! U.K.

Angie needs to make up her mind on what image she is going for. Does she want to be compared to Mother Theresa or Slutty McSlutterson?

What is it with fathers and daughters in Hollywood these days? From Angelina to Lindsay, and just recently Ireland and, now, Britney, there is just no love lost between these girls and their dads.

Britney's dad, Jamie Spears, is siding with Brit's former manager, Larry Rudolph, after the starlet blamed him for forcing her to go to rehab and ruining her image.

Jamie sent this email to Page Six, defending Larry's actions-- which caused Brit to fire him last week:

"When Larry Rudolph talked Britney into going into rehab, he was doing what her mother, father and team of professionals with over 100 years of experience knew needed to be done. She was out of control. Larry was the one chosen by the team to roll up his sleeves and deliver the message, to help save her life.

"The Spears family would like to publicly apologize to Larry for our daughter's statements about him over the past few weeks. Unfortunately, she blames him and her family for where she is at today with her kids and career. Larry has always been there for Britney. For this, we will forever be grateful to him."

Brit fired back, via her rep:

"I am praying for my father. We have never had a good relationship. It's sad that all the men that have been in my life do not know how to accept a real woman's love. I am concentrating on my work and my life right now."

Oh, the drama! Can't we all just get along?

I'm sure Paris thinks James Blunt's annoying song ,"You're Beautiful", was written for her, which is the only explanation for why she would be making out with him on Wednesday night.

Rush and Malloy say Paris and James met up at hot club Teddy's and engaged in some serious PDA, before leaving together.

"They were all over each other," a source said. "They both ended up back at Paris' house," joined by her sister, Nicky, and Nicky's boyfriend, David Katzenberg.

Is she done with Josh Henderson? That might be a record.

Alec Baldwin had to say something after the irate message to his daughter was leaked to the media. Here's his statement to Access Hollywood via his publicist:

"In the best interest of the child, Alec will do what the mother is pathologically incapable of doing ... keeping his mouth shut and obeying the court order. The mother and her lawyer leaked this sealed material in violation of a court order. Although Alec acknowledges that he should have used different language in parenting his child, everyone who knows him privately knows what he has been put through for the past six years."

Don't care what you've "been put through" Alec -- she's a kid!

In the recording, Alec goes offon Ireland, calling her "a thoughtless little pig," after she failed to pick up her scheduled phone call from her father. "Once again, I have made an ass of myself trying to get to a phone," adding, "you have insulted me for the last time."

He continued to berate her and then insult her mom, Kim Basinger. "I don't give a damn that you're 12-years-old or 11-years-old, or a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do," he screamed. "You've made me feel like s**t."

It just gets worse, as he promised to "straighten her ass out" when he meets up with her in L.A. for a scheduled visit on Friday.

TMZ learned that on Wednesday, Los Angeles County Superior Court commissioner Maren Nelson heard the tape and temporarily suspended Baldwin's visitation rights. A hearing is set for May 4, where the judge could permanently keep Alec from his daughter.

Look, I'm a total believer in the need for "tough love" when it is necessary, but this is going overboard. He was screaming at her like she was an incompetent peon that worked for him.

I'm literally nauseous from listening to this.

It's funny -- at this point I'm kinda like: Whoopie -- a photo of Kate and Owen together. Who cares? They're dating. It's not a secret. They're not doing anything crazy -- like slathering each other with butterscotch or something. Stop stalking them already.

I'm sorta bored to tears with them actually. Hopefully photographers will start to feel the same way.

This video clip doesn't want to make me buy her single, it makes me laugh.

Though there's an appearance by Milo Ventimiglia, who is one of the Heroes. Hope he wore waterproof pants when she was sitting on top of him.

The hot topic portion of the show -- which is really the part I watch -- is great. I feel like I'm listening to conversations that my smart, politically knowledgeable friends would have... though there's really no Elisabeth Hasselbeck sitting at our table. Like her or not, Rosie O'Donnell is smart and makes excellent points. And I used to feel bad for Elisabeth, but girl holds her own. Every day she has done her homework and gives Rosie a good argument. I'm pretty surprised, though I guess I shouldn't be because she is a Survivor after all.

Anyway, on Monday's show Barbara Walters and Rosie mentioned something Donald Trump sent to them that day that sparked their feud again. But Babs told Rosie not to talk about it on the air. Well Page Six is reporting that the Donald sent Babs the bustier and "giant pair of panties" that Rosie wore in her movie flop Exit to Eden. It was enclosed in a glass case and the D sent it to Bab's office at ABC in NYC.

"I sent it to Barbara to hang in her office," Donald later told Page Six. "It was funny, except that it was really gross. It's disgusting. I feel sorry for [Rosie's] wife. It can't be pleasant."

At this point, I just think he's being a jerk. What do you think?

Ladies of the R&B world mourned when word got out that hottie Usher was engaged to stylist Tameka Foster.

Now the Daily News is reporting that there might be a little hip-hopper on the way for the betrothed twosome. Though Tamkea denied having a bun in the oven to friends last week, two other sources close to Usher told the paper that she is, indeed, with child.

Maybe her denial comes because of the whispers that the baby could belong to Tameka's ex-hubby and not Usher. Whoops.

Look, the mystery is easily solved. If the baby is born with a top hat and killer abs all's well.

Have you guys seen Sleeping With the Enemy? Where Julia Roberts runs away from that creepy controlling husband? She fakes her death, changes her look, her name and hides away in this little Southern town, in a house with a wrap-around porch that I was always jealous of.

Anyway, since Katie Holmes has moved down to Shreveport -- and out from her hubby's death grip -- to start filming her new movie, reports are surfacing that Kat has been getting in touch with old friends, who she hasn't spoken to since hooking up with Tom. Life and Style is reporting that Tom's Kat is reconnecting with people from her old life and even secretly talking to Catholic priests!

Katie called former best bud, Meghann Birie. “She wanted to talk to someone not in Camp Cruise,” a friend told the mag. “Katie told Meghann she can’t believe she abandoned her old life.”

The source also says that the actress has invited her parents to visit her on the movie set. “She’s trying to make amends with her family."

This whole story just makes me think of the Julia Roberts flick. I can see Katie falling for a down-home Shreveport teacher and wanting to run away, back to her roots. Then Tom would come to get her and all hell would break loose. For those of you who haven't seen the movie, I won't ruin it for you, but the ending is chilling.

If you're Brad and Angelina there is always going to be a tabloid story that you're breaking up. The couple's reps have decided that this would be a good time to put rumors to rest about any trouble in their relationship.

"They are together and very happy,” Angie's manager told Us Weekly.

While Star and Life and Style were telling a different story, Brad's manager said she gave a statement to the tabs that they chose to conveniently ignore.

"I responded to those two tabloids with the correct information and they choose not to run it. There is absolutely no trial separation." she said. "As a matter of fact, Brad and the kids are travelling to Prague to be with Angelina while she films her movie. Then they are both going to Cannes to promote Oceans 13 and A Mighty Heart. After that, the whole family is going to Los Angeles for the premiere of Oceans 13 and then to New York for the premiere of a Mighty Heart."

Okay, fine, great. I'm sure we'll just have to hear the same thing three million times more before they actually do breakup.

Love her or hate her you have to be thrilled with Lisa Rinna's new gig.

The Dancing With the Stars alum and boutique owner will replace Joan and Melissa Rivers as TV Guide channel's red carpet host for all the big Hollywood events, starting with the Emmys in the Fall.

I've never been a huge Lisa fan, but I'm so happy to not have to look -- or listen -- to Joan and Melissa anymore. They are old, tired, plastic-faced whiners, and the last time I watched Joan doing a hosting gig, she got half the the people's names wrong and had no idea what they were nominated for. It was a complete train wreck.

All of a sudden I'm Lisa's biggest supporter. Congrats, girl! Knock 'em dead!

In this morning's most surprising news, crazy Naomi said this at the Cipriani Wall Street Concert Series Tuesday night:

"I invite you all to please put your phones away - off the table - so I can't get to them."

Huh! She made a funny! Who knew?

Tracy and I are debating again. The topic this time? Larry Birkhead selling photos of his reunion with Dannielynn to OK! magazine...

Suzy: Let's talk about Larry Birkhead. How predictable that Malibu Ken is on the cover of OK! He's had the kid for a week and already he's making major bucks off of her.

Tracy: Maybe after all the speculation about who the real daddy was Larry's just thrilled and wanting the world to know it. I think he deserves a little love after all he's been through.

Suzy: He does deserve a little love... but does he deserve a big, fat paycheck? If it was merely about love, then he would have posed for People or Us Weekly, the celebrity weeklies that don't pay for their stories. OK! dropped a reported $3 million for Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher's wedding photos -- and they're a pretty lame couple! You know that Papa Larry got about $5 mill... and he's currently figuring out how he's gonna spend it.

Tracy: You're so cynical. Maybe Dannielynn will have the most fantastic nursery ever and her backyard will be like Disneyland -- and then she'll still have money to go to an Ivy league school. Let's wait and see how it all goes down before we jump to conclusions, this could just be a severe case of daddy's little girl syndrome.

Suzy: Or maybe she'll be raised by nannies while daddy chases after fake boobied women and she'll grow up to be daddy's little screwed up girl. At this point it looks like it could go either way.

What was really behind the breakup of Prince William and Kate Middleton? Us Weekly's cover story depicts the problems in their royal relationship, saying that Kate wanted to get married and the prince just wasn't ready.

“Kate wanted an assurance that there was going to be a future for them, and William wasn’t ready to give that,” says a Middleton source. “His family advised him not to rush into things, and so in the end, he couldn’t give her what she wanted.”

Lots more juice in the new issue - pick it up.

Will Ferrell might be the most hilarious man on Earth.

Check out this short Will made, starring himself and a two-year-old, who plays a potty-mouthed, drunk of a landlord.

The little girl is Pearl McKay, daughter of Will's friend and collaborator, Adam McKay. Adam is the culprit responsible for, along with Will, such classics as Anchorman and Taladega Nights.

This video is so funny and cute and I so don't care that this little girl kisses her grandmother with that mouth.

Ok! scored the first photos of Larry Birkhead as the proud papa of Anna Nicole's baby girl. And before you go saying that Larry is using that baby to make money for himself, we're told all the proceeds from the photos will be put in a trust for Dannielynn.

'Cause she'll need the money, right?

Paula Abdul really, really wants to be a diva, but the public is just not having it.

American Idol's "nice" judge tried to get preferential treatment on a recent Southwest flight from San Jose to Burbank, but encountered a problem when she was told there was no first class section on the plane.

“She asked to be let on the plane and seated first,” a witness told Star. When Paula was told that only young children, people with disabilities and the elderly were allowed to board early, she reportedly declared, “But I’m famous! I need to go on first!”

The best part of the story, though, is when fellow passengers called Paula out for her actions. "You’re no Sanjaya! You have to board like everyone else," one reportedly yelled, to which everyone around them laughed and laughed.

That is funny! The only thing better would be if I had said that myself.

I know you are all just as surprised as I am that banks and schools are actually open today on this momentous occasion.

Yes, Suri Cruise is the big "one" today and the Daily News says the kitten plans to party it up with her robot parents, Tom and Katie, in Shreveport, Louisiana, where Kat is filming her first new movie, Mad Money, since becoming a Stepford wife.

"She is already down there, and Tom and Suri will be flying in," says the paper.

Wooohoooo! This might be the first kid's birthday party where the clown isn't the scariest one in attendance.

Lindsay Lohan needs to stop everything for a while -- drinking, dancing, talking..

Page Six has this item today, all about Lindsay's latest crazy rant to Allure magazine:

Lindsay Lohan says she takes on the role of protector to her friends and family. "When my friends and family are around me I feel like they're safe . . . When my friends have left me - I've just seen everything collapse. They're not safe without me," the starlet eerily told the magazine. Lohan also discussed her quick stint in rehab, explaining that she doesn't plan to stop going out to clubs and partying and declaring, "That's my life!" She also compared herself to Marilyn Monroe and claimed to be shocked she ended up needing treatment: "It's so weird that I went to rehab. I always said I would die before I went to rehab." After clearly stating her plans to continue club-hopping and to keep her friends close for their protection, the conflicted party girl adds, "Everybody's tired of hearing things about me and them . . . I think it's just better for me to lie low and get better."

Um, what?

I think the loony bin should be Lindsay's destination this Saturday night. Maybe she can find one with a dance floor...

It's about time!

According to the UK's Daily Mail, Harrison Ford finally popped the question to love Calista Flockhart, after five years together, on April 1st. It being April Fool's Day, Calista needed some convincing that the proposal wasn't just Indy's idea of a bad joke, but the paper is saying the Brothers and Sisters actress is thrilled.

Harrison is divorced twice, but has been smitten with Calista and her son, Liam, since they first met at the Golden Globes in 2002. Here's hoping the third time's a charm! Congrats!

"I don't want to miss a second with Violet," Jen says of her sixteen-month-old, and admits to feeling "intoxicated" when she's with her.

As for Ben, he's the man of her dreams."He's a teddy bear of a guy. Nothing makes me happier than to see the two of them together and her little hands on his face. You know how as a kid you picture yourself with a tall, handsome husband, and you imagine him cuddling your baby?" she asks. "Ben is like that, like, on crack."

I sort of love them. You?

When he and his wife, Linda, got their VH1 show, Hogan Knows Best, I fell in love with the Hulkster all over again after seeing what a great, loving guy he was with Linda and their two kids, Brooke and Nick. But it looks as if the reality television curse might have taken its toll on my beloved Hogans.

Last week, the National Enquirer reported that Hulk and Linda were consulting divorce lawyers, and today Page Six is reporting that the couple, who have been married over twenty years are "going through a very hard time and their marriage is under a lot of strain."

Sources say the rocky waters have stemmed from their different parenting styles, as Linda supports Brooke's up-and-coming pop star career, allowing her to dress skimpy and shake her groove thing, much to her dad's chagrin. Hulk also has expressed interest in getting back into the ring, which Linda doesn't want, for fear that Hulk's leg drop just won't cut it anymore.

An insider said, "At one point they were talking divorce. It's still precarious." A rep for the Hogans declined to comment. But Hulk's wrestling manager, Jimmy Hart, told the paper, "There's ups and downs in every marriage. I was with them last weekend in Miami shooting the show and everything seemed fine."

Let's hope the Hogans get back on track before one of them tags out for good.

We've all seen Goodfellas and Casino where Joe Pesci goes nuts and bloodies somebody up real good. Well, life almost imitated art the other day and Pesci's next victim wold have been singing troublemaker, Robbie Williams.

It seems these two are neighbors in L.A., which caused a problem when Robbie had some friends over and they parked their cars in front of Joe's driveway. The vertically-challenged movie star was reportedly waving a golf club when he went over to the rehabbed singer and his friends and screamed, "Which one of you motherf***ers blocked my drive? If you don't move in 30 seconds, I'm gonna smash your windshield!"

Robbie thought Joe was joking at first, but then quickly had his visitors relocate their vehicles. "It was pretty terrifying in Goodfellas when Pesci's character flew off the handle," said one of the singer's pals. "Imagine seeing it in real life. Robbie has never had any sort of dispute with his neighbors before and has now given his mates strict instructions to steer clear of Pesci's driveway."

Joe eventually calmed down, after Robbie assured him it wouldn't happen again.

A big bucket of buttery popcorn and some Goobers and you've got yourself one stellar Scorcese flick.

"Audiences aren't stupid. [Spiderman 4] would be a big flop without me, Tobey, or Sam. That would really not be the smartest move. But they know that already."

--Kirsten Dunst, to Entertainment Weekly, on how irreplaceable she is

Seriously, Kirsten? Dakota Fanning could play Mary Jane and we wouldn't care. It's all about Tobey, my dear.

Latoya, Jermaine and Tito will be judges on a new CBS talent competition in which the premise is to find a family of singers much like themselves. Pop Dynasty, the working title for the new show, has big backers as Jermaine joins superstar Jamie Foxx as part of the creative team.

No word on when this masterpiece will be hitting our television screens -- or if the families will be judged on their plastic surgery.

When I think of musical families my mind immediately goes to the Bradys. Dont' even try to tell me you didn't love the one where Peter's voice cracked in "When it's Time to Change". Or when they donned those big bell-bottomed, glitttery pants and sang:

We're gonna keep on, keep on, keep on
Dancing all through the night
We're gonna keep on, keep on, keep on
Doing it riiiiight ...

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are shacking up!

The gorgeous MTV VJ is becoming bicoastal and making herself comfy in Nick's Beverly Hills home, reports Page Six. Vanessa has expressed interest in pursuing an acting career and knows Los Angeles is the place to do it. V is currently a New York correspondent for Entertainment Tonight, but would like to branch out.

If Vanessa gets a gig in L.A., she and Nick are so going to get married, don't ya think? Nick has said that he wants kids badly and these two have been blissfully in love from the start. I'm pulling for them!

"I've found my double, my twin, with my new girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood. She's l9 and certainly that's very young, but that's not a problem for me. She likes the same things as me. She understands I like to get up when night falls and go to sleep at dawn."
-- Marilyn Manson to France's Le Parisien newspaper on his teenage gal pal

Tennis great Andre Agassi whacked his wife yesterday. Not a Sopranos-style whacking, more like my-tennis-racket-slipped-and-split-your-lip-open whacking.

Andre and wife, tennis co-superstar, Steffi Graff, were playing a match, while holding hands, to raise money for a Houston-area elementary school, when Andre accidently hit Stef in the face with his racket, causing her to need three stitches. The couple was participating in Oprah Winfrey's upcoming reality show called "The Big Give," and luckily they were up against a doctor, who paid $70,000 for the chance to hit the courts with the tennis dream team, and then stitched up Steffi's lip.

"She's OK," Andre said. "It was an unfortunate accident."

I bet they weren't holding hands on the way home.

The unimaginable has happened. Michael Jackson has managed to produce normal children, according to New York Daily News columnists Rush & Molloy.

The paper spoke with publisher Jamie Foster Brown, who accompanied Michael and his brood on a trip to Japan. Jamie said Jacko's three kiddies -- Prince Michael, Paris and Prince Michael II -- were "intelligent, extremely well-spoken, and they like to play jokes." She experienced Michael's parenting techniques first hand and concluded that the King of Pop's children were "not privileged at all. They have a lot of fun with [Michael]. He just seemed to be a good parent," she added. "More so than most of us!"

Wonders never cease.

Not that I would know personally, but I can only imagine that you'd want to have a little fun with the paparazzi if they were following every blink of your eye. That's exactly what Britney decided to do the other night, when she requested photo agency X-17 take a video of her sending a message to her public.

In an rant from everything about her gratitude to her fans for all of their to support, to the tabloids, to strangers advising her to find Jesus, Brit flexed some major acting muscles. In a painful Valley Girl accent, the pop star also addressed rumors that she is, once again, pregnant.

"And, like, I saw these magazines, and they said I was pregnant, and like it's so true. Like, America, believe everything you read because like you're smart and I'm stupid. Like for real."

In other Brit-Brit news, La Spears has rehired her former publicist, Leslie Sloane-Zelnickof BWR, whom she parted ways with while going nutso last year.

Definitely a smart move, Brit. You need someone who knows what their doing to help get yourself together and stop you from making incoherent paparazzi videos.

Nobody can blame T.R. Knight for holding on to his bitterness towards co-star Isaiah Washington, but he manages to do it with such self-respect and class.

The Grey's Anatomy star talked exclusively to Access Hollywood Saturday night, after the GLAAD awards, about how things have been on the set since Isaiah ran his mouth off.

"We have about twenty days left, not that I'm counting," said our beloved George. "It's going to be nice to have two months away, you know. I think everyone's looking forward to it."

AH's Shaun Robinson asked if the cast has had a chance to heal from the turmoil that resulted from Isaiah's homophobic slurs, to which T.R replied, "I don't know. We're showing up and doing our work…There's a lot of work to be done so that's my focus. That's my job; that's what I'm paid for; and I think that's enough."

The full interview will run tonight on Access Hollywood.

Is this guy a class act or what? He's been given so many opportunities to spew poison at Isaiah, but choose to take the high road time and time again. I have nothing but admiration him.

No, no, no!

The Daily News is reporting that it's over for The Notebook lovers, Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams. According to the paper, Ryan and a buddy were at the premiere for "The Fracture" in L.A. when Ry's compadre asked where his lovely lady was. Ryan's response? "Don't you know? We broke up."

His rep had no comment, which does not give me much hope.

I'm devastated. I've just now stopped crying from seeing The Notebook three years ago. I guess I'll just have to break out the Kleenex for another go 'round.

Meanwhile, Us Weekly reported last week the couple were quietly planning a wedding. Maybe Ryan's "we split" excuse was used to throw reporters off track.

Kate Middleton will never wear a tiara.

According to the UK tab The Sun, Prince William and his longtime girlfriend ended their four-year relationship. Apparently Prince Chuck's son decided to put the military before the miss.

Friends say William, now a fully-fledged officer in the Blues and Royals, has engrossed himself in Army life — preferring to go out drinking with his colleagues than drive back to London to see Kate.

Of course there's no comment from William's camp. A spokesperson said: “Prince William’s personal life is private and as such we do not comment on it.”

Young ladies around the world are surely rejoicing at this moment, hoping they will be the one to land the prince.

Bonne chance, gals! Bonne chance.

I get exhausted just thinking about everything that goes into maintaining Matthew McConaughey's absurdly sculpted physique. I can jump rope about 10 times before it gets tangled up in my feet and I collapse onto the closest bench. Maybe less. He looks like he's setting a Guiness World Record.

Source: Star Snapshots

Vince Vaughn was hot? As Meat Loaf sings: It was long ago and it was far away and it's so much better than it is today.

Debra Messing: Is that you? You look... terrible. Life after Will & Grace hasn't been treating you so well. At all. It's time to spend some of that syndication money on a mini makeover... or a trip to Jamaica. You definitely need a pick me up.
Your friend,
Suzy

How do you think Debra looks? Think I'm just being bitchy? Agree with me? Talk back.

Seriously, when is the last time you saw Britney smile? After a hellish run, she actually looks good. Pretty.

Hopefully she's over the hurdle... though I have to say, I'm pretty bored with her now. When she's not losing her marbles, she's not as interesting.

We second the notion.

I know some of you are sick of the Pete Doherty/Kate Moss antics (not you Suzy's Big Sis), but you must click here to see the new photo Perez Hilton has posted of them. Humor me.

Seriously, WTF?!

The comforting news is that they'll probably off themselves before hurting anyone else.

My little nieces are about to have their first Beatles experience.

Little Miss Sunshine's Abigail Breslin is set to star in the new "American Girl" movie. The film is based on the dolls and book series that have set the little girl population on fire, selling out all over. These things are bigger than Cabbage Patch Kids were in our day, living larger with their own stores, catalog and cafe.

Breslin will star as Kit Kittredge, a 9-year-old growing up in Cincinnati during the Great Depression. She reportedly beat out tons of other child actors for the role.

My read: it was a bad day for the Fanning girls. The movie will be out by the end of the year.

Courtney Love has literally "worked her ass off" and wants you to know it!

The rocker chick is firing back at reports that she's had any kind of weight loss surgery. Court has been flashing her newly trimmed body all over the beaches, which had lots of people talking that she had to have some help getting suddenly slim. But Court says no way -- it was all hard work. On her official fansite, she wrote this about her reported forty pound weight loss:

"i couldnt get that suregry iof i begged for it ... i got muyinspirationf rom Oprah losing so much weight on Slim Fast,. thats how i did it ... i started weight training three days go to get rid of the saggy ass and loose tummy i pln on hving perrrfect six pack by summer, and be extra strong so when i play shows ill be strong nd not weak ..."

Okay, Court, we believe you. Now does Oprah have a "get literate quick" plan you can hop on?

“There are times when I go to the gym and really try, and there are times when I just don’t. I gain a pound; I lose a pound. But I think I’ve developed a really good sense of when I’m doing something for myself as opposed to when I’m doing something because of other people’s expectations of me.”

--the curvaceous and lovely America Ferrara to W magazine

This guy must think he's invicible. It's been quite the week for the Girls Gone Wild mogul. He's been on the lam, caught by police and arrested, charged with tax evasion, and now this:

The dude hid drugs in his jail cell! After trying to bribe a guard for a bottle of water with a $100 bill, his cell was searched. Authorities found 2 different anti-anxiety medicines and a sleep-aid in his stash. It seems as if his good buddy, and now co-prisoner, Scott Barbour, slipped Joe the pills and cash while visiting him in the slammer on Wednesday night.

What's wrong with this guy? Seriously, there's got to be more than a few screws loose in his head.

I think Jamie Kennedy's new movie Kickin' It Old School looks really bad, but Lindsey and I loved the swag they sent out to promote it: slap bracelets!

They look like bookmarks, then you slap it against your wrist and it curves around your wrist... Linds and I were playing with them this afternoon.

Yes, we clearly have too much time on our hands.

"I hate talking about it, but it's true. I've always been on a diet, ever since I was in the sixth grade. It's an ongoing battle and it's a nightmare. But I like clothes too much, and I always wanted to wear the outfits I would make. And I'm very vain [laughs]."

She was America's sweetheart... then she had an affair with Russell Crowe and promptly dropped out of sight. Meg Ryan is back in a new movie called In the Land of Women, which costars the ridiculously adorable Adam Brody.

Here's a summary from IMDB.com:

His world in complete disorder after his break-up with a famous actress, Carter (Brody), a young TV writer, goes to suburban Detroit to care for his sickly grandmother and heal his broken heart. Along the way he forms a special bond with the family that lives across from his Grandma, and changes the live of each woman. In the course of this, as is required in every film--and thus the world, he changes his own life as well.

Talk back: Do you think this will be Meg's big comeback? Don't you think she looks great on the new issue of Redbook?

Which brings me to the Get Smart movie, which recently began filming. The flick stars Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway -- and this is the first photo from the set. The movie will be released in 2008.

Sign me up for anything Steve Carell is in.

If you ever watched 90210, hoping to get a better look at Steve Sanders' athletic build, you may just get your chance.

What? You never wanted that? Oh, right, me neither.

Anyway, Dancing With the Stars rejuvenated hottie, Ian Ziering, has been approached by Playgirl! The nudie mag offered him $100,000 to show his, ahem, assets to the world.

No word on whether or not Ian has seriously considered the offer, but he wouldn't be able to strip for the cameras until his run with the dancing competition is through.

I know I'm stuck in a 90210 time warp. Sue me.

Easy, breezy, beautiful. Yup, that definitely describes Drew Barrymore's new look.

The free-spirited actress has signed on with CoverGirl cosmetics to be their new spokesmodel. Access Hollywood is reporting that Drew will not only be the pretty face of the new ads, she'll have a say in the production of them as well.

"I like to be involved in every aspect. I'm a control freak but I keep those issues at bay when I work with other people," she said with a laugh to the Associated Press. "I leave the makeup and product up to them, that's their expertise. What I want to do is honor the tradition of CoverGirl but hopefully bring myself and my personality into it, as well as some edgy fashion-forward thinking and positivity to it."

The vice president and general manager of CoverGirl Cosmetics North America said that they choose to partner with Drew "because she emulates the iconic image of CoverGirl with her fresh, natural beauty and energetic yet authentic spirit."

What do you think about Drew's new job? Is she the face that would get you to buy CoverGirl? Talk Back!

Following his arrest on Tuesday in Florida, for contempt of court in that case where he was sued by seven underage girls, Joe Francis has been indicted on charges of tax evasion. The "breast-obsessed" mogul has allegedly deducted more than $20 million in false business expenses and used offshore bank accounts to conceal income. He could face up to 10 years in prison and fines of $500,000.

His parents must be so proud. And yes, Suzy, I think there's something majorly wrong with the fact that you think this guy's hot.

Britney is in the process of becoming a changed woman. And no, I'm not talking about her rehabilitated social life, I'm talking all kinds of body changing voodoo.

Britney has been back and forth to Vegas a bunch of times in the last few weeks, supposedly for soybean anti-fat injections, which is a six week, twelve session process. Also on tap for the starlet, a nose job from the makers of Trashlee Simpson and Jen Aniston's redone nasal passages, tattoo removal and, my fave, light liposuction that will change her size 6 frame to a Hollywood-acceptable size 2.

But what about her hair?! I'm hoping when this is all done she'll have enough growth to get a nice long weave. Then I smell a big David Letterman reveal of her new bod, just in time for summer.

Before we get ourselves all in a tizzy, I will tell you that Madonna's rep says she is not going to Malawi to adopt another baby. But (there's always a but, isn't there?), per Page Six, sources close to the pop star say she is. Her rep, Liz Rosenberg gave this statement, "Madonna is going to Africa to continue her work with the Raising Malawi organization. She is overseeing the building of a children's health-care center. She is absolutely not adopting another baby."

And Life and Style Weekly is reporting that Madge is also headed to Malawi so that her adopted son David can spend time with his birth father. "She wants David to have a relationship with his biological father. She's going under the guise of a vacation, but she's not on vacation - she's on a mission. She intends to adopt another baby soon, but first she wants to repair her image from all the bad press she got over David's adoption," says the insider. "She plans on having David's father be part of the extended family. She wants to show that her adoption was an unselfish act of love and not what it was portrayed as in the media."

I love that Madonna wants to raise awareness and be a do-gooder, but can we stop with the crazy serial adopting? It's just weird.

Page Six is reporting that Demi's ex has picked himself up and brushed himself off and has a new relationship with his Perfect Stranger co-star, Tamara Feldman.

At the premiere Tuesday night the paper says Bruce "cuddled up" to the actress, then proceeded to "discreetly checked on the leggy brunette periodically throughout the evening at the after-party at Tao and later brought her to the Gramercy Park Hotel, where he kissed her before going to circulate in the crowd."

Hopefully this will last a while. Bruce can not be trusted to make intelligent decisions all drunk and lonely, wandering around Las Vegas.

Every now and then we all get the urge to contact our exes -- particularly when lots of booze is involved, but that's a whole different story(ies).

Justin Timberlake fessed up to People.com that he called Britney in the midst of her breakdown because he was worried about the pop tart.

"She's a great woman. I'm rooting for her," he told the mag. "[It] seems like she's getting everything under control now."

Riiiight, sure she does. And even if she did have it all under control, a phone call from JT is likely to send her right back into a tailspin. Talk about rubbing your face into what you could have had!

Madonna is planning on making a "hip-hop" record and is recruiting Justin Timberlake for some help. The Queen of Reinvention has decided she wants to try her hand at yet another genre and Justin has confirmed that he is in on it.

“I have been working on some new music," the pop star said, "but it’s not for myself — I’m writing for other people. I’m working on some stuff for Madonna.” Sources say J.T. and Madge were in the studio together in London just yesterday.

Also said to be taking part in Madge's new venture, everything-I-touch-turns-to-gold Timbaland, and hip-hopper Pharrell. The new CD is scheduled for release in November.

The new issue also looks in to The Hills sex tape scandal, as Lauren says her co-stars are "out to destroy" her.

Check it out on newsstands this week.

In today's shocking news, people think wacked-out-of-his-head Pete Doherty is bad for Kate Moss' career.

SHUT UP!

Style editors at New York say that Kate is taking a risk by keeping such close company with the musician, and that her Top Shop clothing line, that's set to debut in the U.S., could flop because of her relationship. The experts reamed the model for "her insistence on continuing to rub shoulders with her greasy, pasty, substance-bloated boyfriend," and added, "Grow up."

Sheesh! They are mad. I mean, I've been saying all along that these two should break up, but I'm just concerned for their well-being. With their combined drug history they are bound to combust if they keep this up. But maybe they'll continue to self-destruct together and it will end up being really tragic and romantic, like Romeo and Juliet. Not.

One day everyone's buzzing that Jennifer Lopez is preggers, the next day they're saying she and hubby, Marc Anthony, are having major troubles.

The latter is OK!'s angle this week, reporting that the Latin lovers are headed for splitsville. The tab is saying that although the couple have tried to work it out in counseling, Marc is overbearing and controlling and Jen just can't take it anymore.

A source close to the Anthonys say the rumors are trash, "They're inseparable. I don't get a whiff of trouble." A rep for Jen seconds that notion saying OK!'s article is "a disgusting story full of lies. We're consulting lawyers."

Jen looked pretty happy to me on American Idol last night, and she's set to perform one of her news songs tonight on the talent show. Marc was with his wife yesterday as she rehearsed, so my spidey-sense says this is all rubbish.

Do you get the feeling we'll be talking about Anna Nicole forever? Kind of like Elvis, except for the fact that I'm not exactly sure what she was famous for.

Cindy Adams of the New York Post sat down with Anna's sister, Donna Hogan, and boy, did she get an earful. This is one messed up family.

In New York to publicize her new book about Anna, Train Wreck, Donna just spewed all kinds of poison about her sister, who she apparently was not very fond of.

Here's just a taste:

On why she wrote the book:
"Because now she's gone, and things about her upsetted me. She was selfish. I always respected her, and she always disrespected me. I was struggling. I had to live in a shelter to protect my three kids and I never asked her for nothing. She had four houses and never offered me one to stay in. I bought her a Marilyn Monroe doll and she never bought me a thing. She'd take people who worked for her on shopping sprees to Rodeo Drive and never bring my kids anything. She never once offered me money. Except to try and take my little girl from me. See, even after she had Danny she wanted a girl child desperately. She offered me thousands, but only if I'd give up my baby daughter to her which, of course, I wouldn't."

On their similarities:
"Well, yeah, I've done drugs . . . we've both had a wild crazy life . . . both had affairs with women . . . three-way sex . . . kids without husbands . . . and I'm now kind of living with someone . . . And, like her, I worked gentlemen's clubs. I waitressed. There's perverts who just want you to get drunk with them. So I'd sit and drink. You could make $2,000 a night."

"Look, I was offered lots of the same kind of stuff she was, but I just couldn't do it. I think she had some kind of illness. She did it with all sorts of girlfriends and gay boyfriends. I mean, she gave our father - who molested girls and actually touched me - naked photos of herself. This is a man who got married the day after we buried Vickie."

Some things are just not meant to be public knowledge, and Donna, apparently does not know the meaning of "rest in peace".

They just don't make 'em any crazier than this.

We never heard much from Ryan and Reese when they were married, now the recently split couple are making headlines almost every day. While Reese seems to have settled into a new relationship with Jake G., Ryan is sowing his wild oats out on the town.

Ry gathered up some drinking buddies last week and headed to the posh Chateau Marmont, where he raised the roof. The now-single dad was looking for some lovin', as he reportedly, "started screaming at these girls, 'Hey, you're hot! Get over here!'"

How charming.

"The girls just ignored him," the source said. After striking out a few more times, Ryan and Co. headed to another club where, perhaps, the single ladies were much cheaper.

Maybe Lindsay Lohan is such a loser because that's all she knows. Between her nutty convict father and her age-denying mother, Lindsay never stood a chance.

Page Six is reporting that Dina Lohan was in Miami last weekend, partying it up. On Friday, she and friends drank and played poolside at the Shore Club, then headed to Grass, where Mama Lohan ordered bottle service for her table and stayed for hours. The next night her drinks of choice were vodka and cranberry and champagne, as she hung out with a group of "twenty-somethings".

Dina, of course, denies it all. "We were there to see a DJ named Justin and possibly sign him," she told the newspaper.

What? She has a job? Or did she mean sign him for Lindsay's next night out?

"My publicist was getting calls about it, my family got calls about it. I did not get a boob job, but I have put on a little weight because I am happy to finally say I am pregnant."

You mean to tell me that those boobs are real? Get. Outta. Town. I don't buy that for a single second.

For more on pregnant celebs, check out iVillage's Celebrity Baby Tracker.

"How can I be the next Bond girl? My cellulite wouldn't look very good in a bikini. Let's face it, my so-called fabulous shape is the result of very clever airbrushing - I have small boobs and cellulite. I don't really exercise and I eat all the burgers I want. I do feel my metabolism slowing down [but] I'm lucky because I'm young. But I'd rather be lumpy and heavy than skinny and miserable."
--Sienna Miller

Ick! Yuck! Bleck! See-See is totally the skinny girl who asks her friends if she's fat so that she can get validation that she's not fat and enjoy all the praises. I had a friend like that in high school. Used to drive me crazy.

Us Weekly is reporting that Justin and Jess attended a party together on Sunday, where they held hands and canoodled. Justin was all kissing Jessica's neck and what not, and the couple was seen making out like bandits.

These four are making the most of their single status, huh? Jessica and Ryan were seen out and about together a few times last month, while ScarJo and Justin had their little sexy video fling. The foursome should just double date -- it won't matter who ends up with who at the end of the night.

At this point, I'm totally rooting for a Justin/Ryan hookup. You?

Malibu Ken walked out of the Bahamas courtroom a little bit ago and announced what we've known all along. He is the father of Anna Nicole's daughter, Dannielynn Hope.

"I hate to be the one who told you this, but: I told you so. I'm the father," said Anna Nicole's pretty boy. "I'm just happy to be starting a life with my daughter. "

Howard K. Stern -- who has been pretending to be the dad since the little one arrived -- had his own statement for reporters: "I just want to say that I'm obviously very disappointed, but my feelings for Dannielynn have not changed. "I'm not gonna fight Larry Birkhead for custody … I'm gonna do whatever I can to make sure he gets sole custody. As far as I'm concerned Larry can come over to the house and spend as much time with her as he wants."

No word on when Larry gets custody of the little girl, but you can bet your sweet bottom that there will be a photo shoot and exclusive interview any day now. Our friends at Access Hollywood will score the TV exclusive and People or Us Weekly will have the print.

This whole thing is a playing out like a bad Lifetime movie.

But now would be a great time for her to sport the baby bump. We need a new pregnant celebrity to watch expand -- we're already bored with Julia Roberts and Salma Hayek. And it's not like she's busy with her other "children," who are being brainwashed raised by Tom Cruise. She is photographed with them once or twice a year. Tom Cruise and his contracts.

But other people are buzzing about the "bump," so I thought I'd put the question out to you:

The breast obsessed genius is in custody!

Joe Francis -- the mastermind behind the Girls Gone Wild franchise, which earns him an estimated $29 million a year -- was arrested this morning in Florida.

People.com reports that the celeb favorite was picked up at the Panama City airport on a warrant seeking his arrest for criminal contempt of court. Last week, Joe defied a federal judge, calling him a "judge gone wild" and refused to surrender to U.S. marshals on a contempt citation. The whole thing stems from a 2003 lawsuit in which seven women accused him of victimizing them by filming them showing their ta-tas on spring break.

How do you feel about the Girls Gone Wild mastermind? Do you think he's taking advantage of young women -- or do you think these wild chickadees know exactly what they're getting into when they flash their breasts? And do you think there's anything wrong with the fact that I think he's hot? Talk back.

Christina Aguilera and her little brother Mikey took in a baseball game at Yankee Stadium over the weekend. We couldn't help but notice the siblings' signficant difference in skin tone. Is that what Xstina would look like sans the fake tan? Not that orange isn't cool or anything...

Check out the whole photo in our Star Snapshots gallery!

Check back soon.

Madge is the latest addition to the awesome lineup for this summer's series of Live Earth concerts. Al Gore is the organizer for these spectacular worldwide shows that hope to create a greater awareness for global warming and other environmental causes.

Al says,"By attracting an audience of billions we hope Live Earth will launch a global campaign giving a critical mass of people around the world the tools they need to help solve the climate crisis. But ultimately, corporations and governments must become global leaders taking decisive action to stop global warming."

Madonna will join the likes of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Razorlight, Keane, Snow Patrol, Duran Duran, the Black Eyed Peas, Genesis, Bloc Party, Corinne Bailey Rae, Damien Rice, David Gray, the Foo Fighters, James Blunt, John Legend, Paolo Nutini and the Beastie Boys on July 7th at Wembley Arena in London.

Others hosting a concert are Shanghai, Johannesburg, Sydney, Japan, Brazil and the US.

Way to go, Al!

I have a feeling this might blow up in his face. MTV's Wild 'N Out stud, Nick Cannon, has been talking smack about superstar Diddy to King magazine, reports the Daily News.

"Puffy doesn't like it when I tell people that [my MTV deal is worth more] than his," the too-big-for-his-britches kid said. "My deal is better because I have more ground to stand on. I have more shows on the network than he did."

Are you gonna take that, Diddy? I didn't think so.

In an exclusive interview, Access Hollywood sat down with supermodel Naomi Campbell, after she completed one week of community service for the New York Department of Sanitation.

"So what did this experience teach you about yourself?" AH's Shaun Robinson asked Naomi.

"Well for me, it was humbling and I just got to be with people and learn a lot about people that I would never really get to meet in my job," the supermodel replied. "Everyone was well-mannered and very straight up with me and I was straight up with them."

Naomi went on to say that she "cleaned walls, tables and offices," but never had to do the toilets, like previously reported.

Too bad. That would have really sent the message home that when you create crap, you are destined to have to clean it up. Maybe that will be her punishment next time.

"It is true that I am pregnant. It's a little frightening talking about it. This is the first time that I have said it out loud to a journalist. You know, I kind of wanted to keep it private because there is just so much to worry about. I had morning sickness for four weeks at the beginning and I feel congested which is linked to my pregnancy, but otherwise I am at the 'glowing stage.'"

--Mama-to-be, Naomi Watts, finally talking about the baby she made with Liev Shreiber

Amy Spencer is an accidental celebrity. On Monday, she's a normal college student in Michigan. By the end of the week, she's in Hollywood, starring in a TV pilot-as a regular girl from Michigan. It's all fun and games until the show gets picked up and Amy learns the terrible price of stardom-to keep the part she didn't even want at first, she's going to have to get the Hollywood Car Wash to make her more marketable. First, she'll have to lose twenty pounds. She'll also need new teeth, blonder hair, and a megastar boyfriend with a big secret. By changing everything from her weight to her hair to her name, Amy slowly learns that the only way to survive in Hollywood is to lose herself. Inspired by true events, this shockingly accurate novel about the ins and outs of the Hollywood game will leave the reader wondering-who is Star?

This is Amazon.com's book description for Lori Caulwell's new novel, Hollywood Car Wash. Though the author insists that the story does not intentionally mirror Katie Holmes' life, she does say that the characters and situations are based on real people.

Sources are saying that Tom's robot has gotten the book and is really disturbed by it. "Someone gave her a copy last weekend, and she's been reading it non-stop ever since," said one of the actress' friends. "She's already having problems with Tom, and now she feels like her private life has been exposed. She's really upset."

My guess is that Tom will soon buy all the copies in the world and have a big Scientology bonfire in his backyard.

Luckily I've already placed my order.

Brandy just can't catch a break. Following her legal troubles resulting from a major car accident that was clearly her fault, the singer has been fired as a judge from NBC's America's Got Talent.

Brandy, who sat along side David "The Hoff" Hasselhoff, is rumored to have been replaced by the sharp-tongued-wife-of-Ozzy, Sharon Osbourne. This news coming just after NBC announced that Regis is out as host of the show and Jerry Springer is in.

You know what all of this controversy means? Nothing. The show stinks either way.

Laguna Beach/The Hills star Jason Wahler was arrested for the fourth time in nine months. The charges? Criminal trespassing and assault. Took place in Seattle. I have nothing else to say except what I've captioned on the photo below.

I want Mandy Moore to be my new best friend. I think she is talented, gorgeous and classy. Check her out on the cover of Elle's May issue. Like I wasn't already jonesing for the summer to get here, Mandy makes me want to frolick with the seagulls pronto!

Here are some excerpts from MM's interview:

On ex-boyfriend Zach Braff:
“Out of respect to Zach, who I still consider a friend and care about and support, I have nothing bad to say about him. It just didn’t work out.” (Mandy’s friend described him as toxic: “He’s a really bad combination of narcissistic and insecure.”)

On her acting and singing abilities:
“I’m mediocre at both. I’m not trying to be self-deprecating. I’m just being honest."

On her body issues:
“Sometimes I feel fine. Sometimes I don’t feel so great. I’m a regular person. I’m not that thin. I’m okay with representing a different type than the Hollywood beauty ideal. But other people aren’t so okay with that. I’ve been told that I have to lose weight for stuff before. It’s mortifying. It’s hard to have someone come up and go, ‘You should lose a few pounds.’ And they don’t say it delicately. How can you? It’s only happened to me once before (for her upcoming film License to Wed). But once is enough to make you feel awful.”

I'm joining the Mandy Moore fan club. Who's coming with me?

First he was talking about how Angelina was so depressed she can't eat, now Angie's brother is yapping that he and his sis consider themselves "orphans" since the passing of their mom, Marcheline Bertrand, in January. That's quite the blow to their dad, Jon Voight, who was still alive, the last time I checked.

James says, "There were times when our father was awesome, but my biggest memory is that he would look more to our faults than to our strengths, and that's what was so hard. Now that our mother has died, we're two orphans, Angie and I, so she has a deep understanding of the orphans she adopts."

Does that make anyone else mad? Angelina and James were not an orphans. They had two parents, a mother who they were close to and recently passed, and a father they choose not to have a relationship with.

Me thinks James should shut his mouth before he gets himself in trouble.

Now I can actually touch Jon and Richie wherever I want and not get arrested. Come August, the boys will have their own figurines on the market. And while I think Jon's is a nice replica, fully equipped with his gorgeous highlighted locks and bulging bicep, Richie looks a tad bit like the old homeless man on the corner.

Whatever. They'll look fabu on my mantle, right next to my wedding photo.

Liz Hurley's new father-in-law hates her. Arun Nayer's father told Mumbai's Sunday Mirror that he has cut ties with his son because of the treatment he and his family received at his son's wedding to Liz last month.

Vinod Nayer said that he and his wife Joanne felt "publicly humiliated" and treated "like social outcasts" at the nuptials. "Liz and Arun have treated us very shabbily. My heart is heavy with pain," said Arun's dad.
He said that he had not spoken to his son since the wedding and had sent him a letter accusing him of having "disregarded me like one of your office boys."

That's gotta hurt. I'm sure this is all Liz's fault. Can you imagine what a bridezilla she must have been?

As Suzy told you yesterday, Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johannson had a hot date over the weekend. Now it seems that the new couple spent Easter Sunday together, enjoying an early holiday dinner at the Carlyle hotel in NYC.

"They were there with a couple of friends," said a witness. "Ryan and Scarlett were being quite cute, enjoying each other's company, and I saw Ryan give her a quick kiss on the cheek, after which she blushed and looked very coquettish... I almost didn't recognize him with his beard!"

According to my calculations, Scarlett should be pregnant with Ry's baby by Friday.

Don't have time to read this week's gossip (slacker!), get caught up in two minutes with my Daily Blabber Week in Review video. Topics: the latest celebrity porn star, Penelope Cruz's new man, Eddie Murphy's new addition, Lindsay ends her feud, Cynthia Nixon the trash picker and more.

Have a great holiday weekend!

I don't know about you, but I would cry if my diaries were found, published and put up for auction. Then again would anybody care that a poodle-haired girl from Brooklyn had dreams of meeting Jack Wagner so he could fall in love with her and take her away from it all? Not likely.

Anna Nicole's diaries, however, are filled with juicy insights about her struggle with food, her experimentation with drugs and her deep love for former hubby J. Howard Marshall. The journals, made available to the Associated Press on Thursday, are among several pieces of ANS memorabilia to be auctioned off in a few weeks by Dallas-based Heritage Auction Galleries.

On meeting Guess Inc. CEO, Paul Marciano, June 23, 1992:
"O my Gosh!! Paul Marsiano called today to see if I got his books also I'm gonna go to San Antonio to do photo shoot. I'm so excited!! I can't believe this. This could be it."

June 25, 1992, after spending $3000 on clothes at Nieman Marcus:
"I'm so happy they look great. I hope it empresses Paul Marsiano. ... I'm starving!! I've been starving myself."

On binge-eating, August 16, 1992:
"I've been really stressed out lately and depressed and I can't quit eating. I feel like a pig."

On Marshall, undated:
"Hes so very weak and fragile When I touch him Im afraid he might break. If Jesus desides to take him I dont no what I'll do. I love him so much it hurts me to site and watch him when hes hurting I just want to hold him touch him let him no how much I care."

I'm sure we'll be seeing plenty more of these entries, once the journals are auctioned off to the highest bidder, who publishes them and makes tons of money off the dearly departed.

We're making progress..

The Walt Disney Company has finally changed its policy and will now allow same-sex couples to get married in an affair a la Mickey Mouse. After the website AfterElton.com outed Disney for not being open to gay couples, "The Happiest Place on Earth" will sell their Fairy Tale Wedding resort and cruise packages to anyone that will cough up the dough.

For an extra thousand you can have Goofy and Pluto perform the ceremony "together".

I thought I'd take this Hills entry off of Suzy's hands.

Let's celebrate Lauren lovers -- The Hills has been renewed for a third season!

I'm so happy -- especially with all the gossip that has been swirling about the cast. Hopefully we'll be able to see Heidi's new boobs, get a glimpse at Whitney's hidden boyfriend, and please, oh please, hear some more about the "is there or isn't there" Jason/L.C. sex tape!

If you've fallen behind on this past season, catch my recaps at TV Cocktail. I'll meet you at the premiere!

"Probably someone with gigantic real breasts, like Queen Latifah. I am so fascinated by breasts because my mother didn't have them, either. If I had them, I'd run up and down flights of stairs."

--Kate Beckinsale to Glamour magazine, on who she would trade bodies with for a day.

What a notion! Naomi Watts and love Liev Shreiber have decided to get married before their baby is born, reports In Touch.

Though the couple had originally planned to wait to tie the knot until after their precious bundle had arrived, sources say that Naomi has changed her mind. The baby is due in late summer, so the couple had better get to picking out the floral arrangements.

There's not enough time to plan a big wedding," an insider told the mag. "They'll have just 25 guests for the nuptials in her hometown of Sydney, Australia, with a lavish wedding reception for all their stateside friends after the baby is born."

Like I wasn't jealous enough of Naomi! Now she has to go and be all married to Liev when she has his baby. Sigh...