Some crazy lady is suing Paris Hilton for allegedly stealing her style! Really! CelebTV.com first obtained the court documents, regarding a personal complaint filed by Nicolle O'Neill, who claims she suffers "emotional distress" because of Paris and swears the heiress has stolen her style, including fashion-related "patens" [sic] and "stiling" [sic] tips.

That's right. There are a full two pages of handwritten,ridiculous documents that detail specific charges against Paris, including a claim that Par stole Nicole's brilliant idea to expose her "je-streeng underware (bikiny)" [sic] beneath her jeans and her idea to shop in vintage stores for '60s-style dresses. Because Nicole thought of those all by herself. Yes, she did.

Paris's "victim" is seeking "billions" in damages.

LOVE IT!

Ewww!

Page Six is reporting that Ashley Olsen arrived at the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel Monday night with champion cyclist Lance. A spy for the paper said, "They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m."

Lance recently broke up with Tory Burch, when sources said that the Tour de France winner didn't want to commit.

Of course. Because then the 36-year-old father he couldn't mess around with someone like 21-year-old Ashley. Maybe Lance justifies this hookup by pointing out that Ash is the older twin. Yuck.

But, anyway, J.Lo's pal and designer to the celebs Robert Cavalli did confirm that the singer/actress/dancer is expecting -- and that he's having a hard time keeping Jen dressed.

"Well Jennifer Lopez, at this moment, she requests something very special because she is waiting for the baby. It is so complicated because every week she is getting bigger," the designer told People.com.

Robert is responsible for a bunch of those flowy, maternity-like dresses Jen is wearing on her tour with hubby Marc Anthony, which really means that he confirmed that Jen's preggers months back -- he's just using his words now, instead of tons of organza and what-not.

Jen and 12 other women (including author Toni Morrison and kid star Abigail Breslin) will be honored by the mag at a bash in Lincoln Center in NYC. Hopefully Ben Affleck will be walking his wife down the red carpet. I just love seeing those two together. They are so refreshing -- maybe because they seem like they genuinely like each other.

Congrats, Jen!

"I think [it] sometimes goes with this position," he said of the talk. "Being the quarterback ... you're at the same place with someone else and people just run with it now. It's happened a few times now, two or three times where people just say, 'You're dating whoever.' [It was] Jessica Simpson last year, you know? So it's just the position I guess in some ways. And you just learn that and shake your head every once in a while and you move on."

Maybe Tony's not dating Britney, I mean, we definitely didn't think he was, but even Ryan Seacrest thought Tony and Britney were definitely doing something at the club. Ry said it looked like Britney was giving Tony a lap dance at one point.

Ugh. Just the thought of that made me throw up a little in my mouth.

"It’s really very sad and hurtful that journalists don’t believe in checking facts before writing false and unsubstantiated stories about my health and my pregnancy,” Nicole wrote in a statement released to Access Hollywood. “The healthy birth of my child is my number one priority.”

Cindy Adams of the New York Post was the original source of the smoking claim -- and she has yet to respond to Nicole's denial.

Ooooh, what a cat fight that would be -- a pregnant Nicole takes on 82-year-old Cindy Adams. I'd buy tickets to that.

Britney Spears -- not exactly an over-achiever.

New court documents in Britney's custody case say that the less-than-stellar mom will now get less time with Sean Preston and Jayden James than before. Britney was seeing the boys about every other day, now she is only allowed two daytime visits, from 12pm to 7pm, and one overnight visit from 12pm to 10am. And all time with the kids will be monitored. Kevin Federline retains physical custody, and Britney will continue to be drug tested.

The papers also contained some not-so-nice reports from Britney's parenting coach:

According to court papers released today, Britney Spears's attorney has requested that she no longer have to undergo random drug testing. Apparently this isn't the first time Brit's lawyer made the request but, at Britney and Kevin Federline's last court date, K-Fed's lawyer opposed the silly notion.

A judge has yet to issue a ruling this time.

Hey, Brit. Maybe don't seem so anxious to get back on the sauce -- it's not the best look for a devoted mom.

So thinks a pastor in Lexington, Kentucky, who urged church-goers to send letters of encouragement to Brit.

"Take a few minutes and write a note to Britney Spears," senior pastor Jon Weece of Southland Christian Church instructed over 8,000 members of his congregation last month in both a weekly sermon and in a message posted on his blog. "No preaching. No criticizing. Just love. As a church, let's love Britney the way Jesus loves her."

The pastor says he was motivated to reach out to the troubled star after some of the damaging headlines he saw about Britney. "In the world’s eyes, she’s young, beautiful, talented, successful, yet her life is in shambles filled with bad relationships and devastating life choices," Weece told church members. "If she were your next-door neighbor in the same situation without the money and success, wouldn't you care about her problems? Wouldn't you pray for her and offer her support and encouragement?"

And though the majority of the responses from the members were positive, at least one lady questioned this outpouring of love. "It’s sad that our society is so celebrity-focused that a pastor would ask his congregation to waste their time writing to Britney, when there are so many people in your local community and elsewhere who have no one offering them support or encouragement."

A spokeswoman for the church said that they are still gathering the letters, trying to figure out the best way to get them to Brit, and I have a suggestion. They could leave them at her local Starbucks where the paparazzi can pick them up and deliver them to her when she goes out to plump up her lips.

It's lovely that the pastor wants to help, but I have to agree with the skeptics. If Britney wanted to be saved by religion, she would put on some panties and go to church.

That said, here's the story. Eva made a crack at a press conference that working with Joaquin was "kind of like working with a puppy dog or a 2-year-old," because of how hyper he was., which, apparently did not sit well with Joaquin, as he gave this quote to the new issue of Playboy:

"Had I known I was supposed to be a puppy dog, I would have been much more cute and more consistently attentive. My apologies, Eva, but I had a few other scenes that you weren't in. This puppy dog had a lot of work to do."

Now that's a dig! Sorry, kids, but I think Joaquin is a bitter, bitter pill.

Lindsay continues to make good decisions, as she has reconsidered hosting a New Year's Eve party in Las Vegas. The rehabbed actress was scheduled to spend the usually alcohol-filled evening at LAX, a swanky club in Las Vegas, but has now backed out of the gig -- as her rep says Lilo "continues to focus on her work and sobriety." She will, eventually, have to host something for the nightclub people, as she is contractually obligated, but they say they are willing to wait.

Good for Lindsay for taking control of her life -- and knowing when something is simply not a good idea.

Nicole Richie is smoking mad!

Despite a report printed yesterday, by the New York Post's Cindy Adams, a rep for Nicole tells Usmagazine.com that the talk of the pregnant starlet lighting up, on two different occasions, is "irresponsible and untrue." The New York columnist claimed Nicole was seen outside two different restaurants the city, which Nicole's rep says is impossible -- considering Nic and baby daddy Joel Madden are not even in the country!

So is Cindy Adams losing her credibility or are Nicole's peeps doing some damage control? Hmmm.....

Las Vegas authorities released this statement, regarding the fight that took place between Pam Anderson's exes at this year's VMAs:

"The Clark County District Attorney's Office will not pursue a battery charge. It should be noted that Tommy Lee has requested that there be no prosecution relating to the incident and there were no injuries to either person."

The two boys threw down during the awards, after Kid slapped Tommy for allegedly taunting him over Pam. Now that Pam is somebody else's problem -- I mean, now that she's married to Rick Salomon -- maybe Kid and Tommy decided they could be friends? At least until Pam ends up back with Tommy for the 432nd time.

I know! They can meet for breakfast at the Waffle House!

"I don't ever say [I'm in a happy marriage]," she told the mag. "Partly because interviews are done in advance and you never know where something's going. People's lives together are complicated and beautiful and that's what they should stay. They're very quiet. Complicatedly quiet. They don't need to be broadcast.... My husband and I are committed to each other and deeply in love. That's how I would put it. We're working on staying in that place, and hopefully we will for the rest of our lives."

It's a smart thing to do -- not talk about her marriage. Look at her track record. But it sounds so much like a business deal when she says "people's lives together are complicated and beautiful and that's what they should stay." Hmmm... maybe I'm a romantic after all?

Meanwhile, she's still definitely in love with lip-plumping. No?

Oprah Winfrey called for an emergency meeting in South Africa, regarding the abuse allegations that have surfaced at her all-girls school.

Oprah had visited the school twice in the past few weeks, after allegations that one of the employees fondled a female student and that other students had been physically abused.

"I've disappointed you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," Oprah told the families.

The talk show queen also gave the students her personal phone number, her e-mail address and her mailing address so they could contact her at any time, if they should need anything. And the parents of the students don't seem to be holding Oprah responsible for the problems at the school.

"It's not your fault. We don't blame you," one father reportedly told her. "You trusted them. You have more passion for the school and its existence than anyone else in this country, including us parents."

Heads are going to roll.

Tony and Britney, joined by good pal to both, Alli Simms, chatted each other up at Les Deux. She was dancing and talking a lot with Tony," an onlooker tells Usmagazine.com. The onlooker said Britney "seemed in a really good mood and was super happy."

Tony, who is quite the ladies man, seemed to be taken by Brit's southern charm. Not surprising, since he just recently had the hots for country crooner Carrie Underwood. And, I guess, if you take Carrie Underwood, dirty her all up, combine her with Sophia Bush and her loser ex-husband, add two sugared-up little boys, and some terrible driving skills, you have yourself a Britney.

Makes total sense.

And if Paris was really trying to find a good costume, she should have put on a big puffy overcoat, bottoms with actual legs, and some sensible shoes. Then nobody would know who she was.

Sigh. There I go being silly again, why would Paris ever not want to be recognized?

For more celebs in the Halloween spirit, play Celebrity Concentration: Halloween Costumes.

You know I love lists, but I actually feel bad about this one. Maxim magazine has decided it would be fun, instead of naming Hollywood's most appealing stars (which I feel like they do in every issue), to list their opinion on Tinseltown's least sexy ladies.

Topping the list is Sex and the City's Sarah Jessica Parker -- which seems a bit harsh to me. Sarah may not be classically beautiful, but she's definitely got lots of cute stuff going for her -- and we totally buy that Mr. Big is obsessed with her -- so I'm going to have to disagree there.

Singing train wreck Amy Winehouse came in number two, and I can accept that. With that beehive head of hair, messed-up teeth, and almost-invisible body, Amy screams "UNAPPEALING!"

Rounding out the rest of the list was Grey's Anatomy's Sandra Oh, Madonna, and, of course, Britney Spears. Because anything written today is not considered topical unless it includes a mention of Brit Brit.

Aside from Amy and Sandra (who definitely lacks that somethin' somethin') it's a pretty lame list. There are so many other women in Hollywood who should have placed higher than those other three. How would you vote?

Like I told you last week, Owen Wilson's first interview, since his suicide attempt, was shown on MySpace this weekend.

Owen spoke to his good pal, director Wes Anderson, about his new film, The Darjeeling Limited, and all that entailed to film it in India. There was lots of talk about malaria and monkeys and getting shots and stuff, but not a word on Owen's recent troubles. There was no mention of the suicide attempt or of Owen's current physical and mental state.

So, basically, the interview was just a lot of hype. If you care about that new movie and want to see for yourself that Owen seems back to his old self, then it's a score. If you were looking for some Oprah-type, tear-filled confession, well, you'll just have to wait for Owen to go on Oprah.

Britney's behavior, during the three-hour-long hearing, was pretty much consistently inconsistent. The pop tart was said to have taken frequent bathroom breaks (must be all that Starbucks coffee) and that her mood went from decent to bad, as the day went on.

"Everything's great," she first told the swarm of reporters, at one of her early trips to the ladies room, but later replied, "Snort it, f*ck it," when asked how things were going.

What does that even mean?

Anyway, the day in court ended with the judge making no ruling in the case. Britney continues to have overnight visits with the boys, at least until the next hearing on November 26 -- or until she does something else ridiculous.

The starlet had majorly cleaned up her act since becoming pregnant with Joel Madden's baby, telling Diane Sawyer in an interview that she was completely done with drinking, drugs and smoking. Then why was Nic spotted lighting up twice, last week, in New York City?

Cindy Adams of the New York Post reports that, on two separate occasions, Nicole was smoking a cigarette after exiting a restaurant -- once without Joel around, once with him watching.

Come on, Nicole, you were on a roll. Life was was looking so good and healthy! For the sake of that baby, I hope those cancer sticks you were seen with were just those candy cigarettes with the powdery sugar, from way back when.

Then, let us know how you did by pasting your score below.

Take the Daily Blabber gossip quiz >>

First Dina Lohan makes a show on how to be a great single mom, and now Lynne Spears is writing a book to teach parents how to deal with raising kids in the limelight?

What is wrong with these people?

Britney Spears's mom signed a deal with a Christian publisher, to create Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World. "It’s a parenting book that’s going to have faith elements to it. I don’t think it’s totally been written yet,” says the publisher’s rep, of this goodie that is due out on Mother's Day.

Lynne and Britney seemed to make a little progress in their strained relationship, when Lynne hopped on a plane to be with her little girl, when all the custody madness ensued. But doesn't it take a lot of time to write a book? Time, perhaps, that Lynne could use to help her extremely troubled daughter get her life together, at least for the sake of her grandkids?

I'm just saying.

Just like Aniston vs. Jolie on the new issue of W, Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe go head-to-head in two different Entertainment Weekly covers, promoting their new movie, American Gangster. But unlike Jen and Angie, these two actually seem to like each other. Russell took time out from discussing Leonardo DiCaprio's virginity to share this story of his first meeting with Denzel, at an audition, 12 years ago:

"I had to be really rabid and weird, and on the first take, I’m working myself up and a bit of spit comes out of my mouth...and it weaves itself neatly through the fencing and lands right on Denzel’s lip. A glob of white f*ucking spit just sitting right there. And I’m going, 'Oh man, that’s f*cked. I’m doing my audition, and I spit on Denzel Washington. I might as well just go home and hang myself right now.' And the thing is, he just kept on doing the scene, and at the end, they said 'Cut,' and he’s looking at me, and the spit’s still sitting there and he goes [wiping his mouth slowly], 'I love the taste of warm saliva in the morning.' ”

I only have two questions after reading that interesting tidbit:
1) Does Russell kiss his mother with that mouth?
2) Which cover do you think Brad Pitt will buy?

They almost look like too cute, don't ya think?

Poor Paris Hilton. She'll just have to wait a little longer before spreading her sunshine to Rwanda.

The foundation that was organizing the heiress' trip, Playing for Good, is "restructuring", so Paris is free to party a little longer, before having to put on her serious face.

"Paris has been a loyal and gracious supporter of Playing For Good but the foundation has to regrettably reschedule this trip," the organization said in a statement. "Playing for Good would like to thank Ms. Hilton for her generosity and her continued support of this initiative and is looking forward to rescheduling the trip with her at a later time."

Seriously, how happy do you think Paris is that she doesn't have to go right now? When she agreed to the trip she was trying to clean up her image, after her jail stint dirtied it all up. Now that whole ordeal, I'm sure, is just a distant memory in Parisland. Be on the lookout for an "I'm Not Going to a Poor African Nation Anytime Soon" party at Les Deux.

Russell Crowe claims that super stud, Leonardo DiCaprio, was not always the ladies man he is now.

"You know, I worked with Leonardo when he was 17 on The Quick and the Dead ," Russell told the mag. "He was a virgin, and he'd talk about that constantly. So I'm hoping we have some time so he can fill in what's happened in between, maybe show some photos, because I'm sure life's different now."

I'm sure Leo is thrilled that Russ went and blabbed that to the world. Not that 17 is old to be a virgin, if you're a regular person, but, if you're Leonardo DiCaprio, you have a rep to protect.

Owen Wilson's first interview, since his disturbing suicide attempt, will be posted on MySpace Friday at midnight.

Owen will open up to his friend, Wes Anderson, who is also the director of Owen's new movie, The Darjeeling Limited, as part of the very cool MySpace Artist on Artist series. There's no word on whether Owen will be talking about being rushed to the hospital or what led him to that moment.

At the Venice Film Festival in September, Wes said that his bud was "doing well," and "when he's ready he's going to speak for himself much better than anyone else could. He has a very good way with words."

Let's discuss on Monday.

Dina Lohan might be the nerviest woman alive. Lindsay Lohan's mom begins filming her new reality show for E! next week. The untitled show, as of now, is set to center around Dina and her younger daughter, Alli, as she manages Lindsay's sister's acting and singing career.

“There are so many misconceptions about me and my family,” Dina told People. “I’m setting the record straight.”

Mother Lohan is, naturally, using this gig to toot her own horn in a major way -- she's the executive producer of the show, so I'm sure she'll portray herself in the most flattering light. Here's a snippet of how Dina thinks she's making the world a better place:

"It’s about empowering women to be successful single mothers. About being in the limelight without compromising motherhood. It’s about what I do, how you can be successful, and be a single mom and fulfilling your kids’ dreams. Working is my sole source of income.”

I can't even believe the set on this woman. Her daughter was just in rehab -- three times -- for drugs, alcohol and what-not, but, somehow, Dina managed to have time to score a television show all about herself. She seriously makes me ill.

The new show starts filming on October 30, which is perfect, considering that's when the witches are at their best.

Who is her manager -- and why are they still on the payroll?

Those Lost actors are doing some partying in the Aloha state. Daniel's former co-stars Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros were both picked up for DUI, back in December '05.

Aren't they tired from all that running on the island?

Is today Britney Spears's lucky day? Is that whole sentence an oxymoron?

TMZ.com is reporting that the Britster has had a good day in court, as the hit-and-run charges against her have been dismissed. The judge was informed that Britney settled the dispute with the car owner, by paying up about $1,000, and apparently, he thought that was good enough. As for the other criminal charge - driving without a valid license -- Britney plead not guilty.

To celebrate, Britney hopped in her white Mercedes and sped off to the nearest Starbucks for some liquid energy. She hit three photographers, a dump truck, and Lindsay Lohan's car along the way.

"When they were leaving and chatting with friends and some staff at the bar, Tony was hugging Sophia from behind, and she put her arms around him as well," a source told People.com.

The next afternoon, the new couple showed up together, again, at a party. "They had a good time. They seem cute together," an onlooker said.

Sophia and Chad split in late 2005, after being married for a mere five months, due to Chad's rumored cheating with a chick named Paris Hilton. Not surprising, Chad is already engaged to someone else -- a teenaged extra from OTH. Loser.

Anyway, Sophia must have learned from marrying that jerk, and is now taking her time. Smart move. I hope she finds happiness.

I would imagine New Year's Eve is an extremely tough night for anyone who is trying to stay clean and sober. Almost everyone around is either sipping champagne as they watch the ball drop in Times Square, or getting loaded and dancing on tables somewhere -- and it's a little tough to get away from. So the fact that Lindsay Lohan will be hosting a New Year's party, at a club, in Las Vegas, just doesn't strike as the best idea.

What does make me happy is that sources are saying that LiLo isn't too keen on the idea herself. “Lindsay doesn’t necessarily want to host, but she’s contractually obligated," they said, of her scheduled gig at LAX. According to Us Weekly, this is a makeup gig for Linds, in order to pay back the “hundreds of thousands of dollars” she got when she was supposed to host her 21st birthday bash at PURE Nightclub (same owners as LAX)) in July. Obviously, a stint in a little place called "rehab" kept that from taking place.

“She already took the money from the birthday gig and can’t afford to pay them back,” added the source.

I'd like to propose a toast to Lindsay -- with sparkling cider, of course:

New Year's Eve will be a tough night
Let's hope your head is screwed on right
'Cause if it's not and you take a drink
You'll, no doubt, end up in the clink
L'Chaim!

The shots of the actress baring her ass-etts (see them here) in the film hit the internet weeks ago, and Nat says that she regrets showing her stuff-- and should have listened to her heart.

"I'm really sorry I didn't listen to my intuition," she said. "From now on, I'm going to trust my gut more. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is say no."

Really? I thought the most powerful thing you could do was strip down naked and tell everyone to kiss your skinny, white butt. Silly me.

The answer is ... a new book. Both music men launched their new books on Tuesday, and had a little fun digging at each other, when asked who's memoir would reign supreme.

"He doesn't stand a chance," the bullet-proof rapper told Ben Widdicombe of The New York Daily News, at the launch of his coffee-table book, 50 x 50. "With me, everything's a competition, so I bet you the end of next week, I'll be moving more copies than him. This is the same competition - this is Kanye West and 50 Cent all over again!" Fitty said, referring to his album battle with Kanye.

So, how would frosted-locks Lance take the challenge? "50's going down, that's all I have to say," he said while promoting his memoir, Out of Sync. "50, I don't want to playa-hater, but there's a lot that my book has [that his doesn't].

Like what, Lance?

"I'm pretty sure he doesn't have any relationships with guys in that book. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't have any space training, either."

Point taken. But has Lance been shot nine times and lived to tell about it? Doubtful. Let's not even compare the two -- and keep them on opposite sides of the Barnes and Noble.

Britney Spears and her ex, Kevin Federline, got together at the Beverly Hills Hotel yesterday, and did something they've never done before.

Get your minds out of the gutter people -- Britney and Kevin attended a Parenting Without Conflict session at the hotel, in hopes to learn how to be a little nicer towards each other, for the sake of Sean Preston and Jayden James. The class lasted about an hour, and Britney left -- without Kevin.

But a source told Us Weekly that, before they met up, Brit was looking forward to be spending some time with her ex. “Britney is actually really excited about seeing Kevin. She sees this as the first step in them getting along for the sake of the kids.”

I totally see them getting back together. Or at least having a little tryst in one of the hotel rooms, before these classes are done. It would just be so Britney to make such blockhead move.

Here's a hint for the latest edition of the Guess Who? Game: Her mommy costarred on a TV series with a famous Friend last year, but it didn't work out so well.

Take a guess, then click on the photo to see if you're correct.

1, 2, caption the photo. I'll go first...

I'm a little afraid for Jessica Simpson. I mean, has really thought this thing through?

The ditzy blonde will be sitting in the other ditzy blonde's (Elisabeth Hasselbeck) empty seat, on The View, for two days in November. I know Jessica must think this is a total score and all, considering she has a new movie coming out and, I guess those guest host seats are hot commodities, but does Jess realize that she's actually going to have to speak? And discuss? And speak and discuss with Barbara Walters? I'm thinking no.

But, I'll tell ya, I'll be watching.

Nearly one million Californians were ordered to evacuate their homes last night to escape the wildfires tearing up and down the West Coast, but the New York Observer reports that the paparazzi dedicated to shooting all things Britney aren't going anywhere. Five to 10 photographers have been sticking by her Malibu mansion hoping to get their "money shot" if her house goes up in flames.

“Basically, all the paparazzi are still out there trying to get their Britney shot,” one resident told the paper. “They don’t even care much about the burning houses... It’s insane. Just as bad as it was before, only now there are burning trees.”

Apparently the folks in Malibu have had their fill of la Spears -- and even Mel Gibson's wife, Robyn, was reportedly overheard trashing talking the singer to a fellow resident.

“She was like, ‘It’s so annoying that people are more concerned about if Britney Spears’s house was burnt than their own well-being,’” a source told the paper. She went on to say that the situation said horrible things about “people’s priorities.”

It's true -- people's priorities are all outta whack. I'm more concerned with whether or not Britney's covering her va-jay-jay than, say, listening to the Presidential hopefuls drone on and on or insult each other. But I also want to point out that Mrs. Gibson may be complaining about Britney now, but I'm sure her neighbors were complaining about her family just a year ago when her husband was drunk driving up and down the Pacific Coast Highway. What goes around comes around, as they say.

Celebs aside for a moment, let's keep the people of California in mind today.

The supermodel and her hubby, crooner Seal, sat down with Oprah (the interview airs today) and spilled some dirty ditties about how they fell in love.

Heidi first saw her man after a sweat session -- while he was wearing bicycle shorts. "I met him in a hotel lobby in New York City and he came in just from the gym and I was sitting there and I was, like, wow," she tells Oprah. "And I pretty much saw everything," says Klum. "The whole package."

Well, well. But, in all fairness, I'm pretty sure Seal had seen most of Heidi's goodies at that point, considering she's constantly on billboards, television and catalogs in skimpy thong underwear.

Even though the physical attraction is what initially brought them together, the pair admit they have to work hard to keep their marriage healthy."The most common hiccup," Seal said, is when the first child comes along. "And it turns into all about the kids, which is understandable because they're miraculous. But then you've got to put each other first. You know, she will always be number one for me."

"Is it true?" Oprah asked Heidi.

"I have the most romantic husband," she answered. "I do."

And when romance isn't cutting it, Seal digs up those bicycle shorts and ...

Foxy has reportedly committed three violations at the jail -- just this month. Girl got into a fight with another inmate (a given), she was verbally abusive to a corrections officer, and finally, refused to take a drug test. She has been removed from the jail's general population, and now spends about 23 hours of the day alone. For one hour each day, she is allowed to meet with her attorney, go to the library or exercise with other inmates -- which she will presumably use to fight, verbally abuse the warden, and score some drugs.

AskMen.com created an online poll asking people to vote for the Most Masculine Man Alive. The winner? Super hot soccer star, and hubby of Victoria "I'm still a Spice Girl" Beckham, David Beckham. David beat out Matt Damon to take the numero uno spot and rounding out the top five were music producer Timbaland (have you see the arms on that man?), followed by tennis star Roger Federer and Justin Timberlake.

Really? Justin Timberlake? A manly man? I don't think so -- he's much more on the girly-man side. If Justin is in fifth place, who do you think came in sixth? Richard Simmons?

Meanwhile, my friend Josey, who writes the Sex on My Desk blog, asked women to weigh in on the most manly celebrity man. Find out who the ladies are hot for right here.

Reese Witherspoon visited Ellen DeGeneres's show to promote her new flick, Rendition, and actually commented on her co-star, and rumored boyfriend, Jake Gyllenhaal.

"Jake's cute," the newly-divorced Reese agreed with Ellen. And though that may seem harmless (and a little lame), if you watch the clip from the show, her romance with Jake is written all over her face. It's actually pretty adorable.

Maybe now that Reese is officially divorced from Ryan Phillippe, and she and Jake have been photographed playing all lovey-dovey in Italy this past weekend, the actress is ready to move on with her life and embrace this relationship. Reese strikes me as a pretty smart cookie who is always looking to protect her kids (take notes, Britney), so it's very possible that she was just waiting for the divorce to be a done deal before going public with Jake.

Anyway, as annoyed as I am with all the celebrities who won't admit obvious things (Jennifer Lopez, I am talking to you), Reese threw us a little bone about her and Jake and I'll take it.

Even under the watchful eye of a court-appointed parenting coach, Britney Spears just can't seem to get it together. Sources are saying that Brit's coach has filed a damaging report on the pop tart's mothering (or lack thereof) skills.

An insider claims the paperwork says that Britney "paid her [monitor] no attention or respect at all, as if she were some employee whom she could blow off. " And also adds that, "Britney’s often distracted and in her own world when she has the kids and has a hard time focusing. She is adamant that she doesn’t have to listen to anybody — that it’s her way or the highway."

The coach has now insisted that the parenting sessions take place at her office, as opposed to Britney's place, as she feels it's way too much of a circus in Britneyland. “She doesn’t want all the distractions, whether it’s the paparazzi or whatever else is going on.”

Britney and Kevin Federline are due back in court on Friday, and it's not looking like this new report is not going to be helping Britney get more time with her kids.

Your job? To figure out the identity of goldilocks -- the famous blonde seen shopping in this photo? Here's a hint:

"So Batman rolled up with a woman -- his agent? -- and sat at a table next to us. Sadly, the ole Iceman looked middle-aged, bloated, pink and like he'd been hitting the donuts. Let's just say I don't think he'd fit the Jim Morrison trousers anymore. During brunch he talked about writing a movie, green tea and the Dalai Lama. When ordering, he asked the waiter 'What's delicious?', then ordered a sliced salmon plate. He was wearing sneakers and shorts. He actually seemed really happy and chilled. Good for him. No one bothered him."

I don't think he'd fit the Jim Morrison trousers anymore. Whew! That makes what I said about his bump more like a love letter to him. Thanks, spy. Anyway, it's not really about what I think, it's about what you guys think. So...

Do you still find Val Kilmer attractive?

• Yes -- I wouldn't kick him out of bed
• No -- he looks pregnant
• Who is Val Kilmer again?

Check out Hollywood's Sexiest 40-somethings

About an hour before Beyonce arrived at the school in Addis Ababa, B's security detail reportedly arrived to check for weapons. Soon after, she rolled up with her team and the kids "fell in love" with Jay-Z's girlfriend. They presented her with flowers and did a special dance for her, while wearing their traditional Ethiopian clothing. They also tried to teach her some dance moves.

An hour after she left, Beyonce is said to have called to invite the older kids to her concert, setting aside tickets in the VIP section for them.

Seeing as she's making house calls, I'd like to issue a personal plea... Beyonce: When you're in New York, I'm a block from the Garden. I can't teach you any dance moves, but I can brush you up on celebrity gossip, so please stop by.

The models should be lining up any minute now.

Word on the street is that Leonardo DiCaprio has split from love, Bar Refaeli. Leo was seen out and about in NYC with fellow lady-lover, Josh Hartnett. The buds were caught checking out the girls at an after-party for some new skateboarding movie.

Bar has reportedly also moved on -- with Cameron Diaz's ex, surfer Kelly Slater. But it looks like Kelly isn't quite ready to go public with his new model, as he got into a scuffle with a photographer in Israel, after they tried to take a pic of the new couple. A police told The AP that "in an effort to prevent the cameramen from taking pictures, Slater pushed them. A brawl broke out, and Slater was taken in for questioning and later released."

So, who will be next on the Leo's list of models? You know there will be another.

My Notebook honey, Ryan Gosling, may just have a bad boy streak. Sources say that the actor was fired from his role in Peter Jackson's adaptation of Alice Sebold's best-seller, Lovely Bones, because Ry was super difficult.

"Peter couldn't stand Ryan," said one source. Though Variety reported that Ryan had "stepped down," Page Six's source said, "Ryan cut his own hair, and was fighting with wardrobe. He was so demanding . . . Peter booted him two days before filming started."

The role was recast with Mark Wahlberg, but I'm okay with it. I like Mark just fine, and the fact that Ryan may be difficult just makes him hotter in my fantasies.

I have a feeling Halle Berry is having one of those days where she wishes she didn't get out of bed.

The actress went on Jay Leno's show to promote her new film, Things We Lost in the Fire, and had a slight screw up when a comic bit took an unplanned turn. Halle was showing Jay and his audience images of herself on her computer using the Mac program Photo Booth, when a not-so-appropriate comment flew out of her mouth.

According to one audience member, "She introduced the first photo by saying, 'Here's where I look like my Jewish cousin!' - it was a picture of her with a huge, distorted nose. No one laughed, and Jay nervously said, 'I'm glad you said that and not me.' When the show aired, they cut out her 'Jewish' comment and added a laugh track to the bit."

Another guest in the audience told Page Six, "If you watch the clip, you can see Halle saying the word 'Jewish,' though obviously there is no audio. NBC covered her ass. Ms. Berry should know how unbelievably inappropriate her comment was . . . She should be ashamed of herself."

When Page Six got in touch with Halle after the taping, the actress was mortified. "I so didn't mean to offend anybody - and after the show I realized it could be seen as offensive, so I asked Jay to take it out, and he did."

She went on to further explain, "What happened was I was backstage before the show and I have three girls who are Jewish who work for me. We were going through pictures to see which ones looked silly, and one of my Jewish friends said 'That could be your Jewish cousin!' And I guess it was fresh in my mind, and it just came out of my mouth. But I didn't mean to offend anybody. I didn't. I didn't mean any harm."

Halle, who is 4 1/2 months pregnant, even offered to call and apologize to the member of the audience that gave the paper their quote "It was just a lighthearted segment that was meant to make fun of myself. There was a picture where I said I looked like Monica Lewinsky and one where I said I looked like Jay. It was just supposed to be a silly segment. I am so sorry, and I apologize."

Classic case of foot-in-mouth disease.

No, this baby won't be hanging off the hip of Angelina Jolie anytime soon.

Angie and her man, Brad Pitt, are teaming up to create a new television show for HBO. The couple -- very much the do-gooders these days -- will take their untitled drama behind the scenes of an international aid organization and follow workers who put their lives in danger to help others.

Nobody can fault these two with being underachievers. With four kids, two movie careers and all of their charity work, what's one more little project? Piece of cake -- if you go by the supercouple name of Brangelina.

Host Tom Bergeron quickly sent the show to commercial, as the audience fell silent. Medics rushed to Marie's side and helped her up, after a minute, and the audience erupted in applause. She was assisted off stage, where she assured everyone she was fine and could receive her scores.

Marie was visibly embarrassed, and told co-host Samantha Harris, "This happens sometimes when I get winded. I'm so sorry."

So much for Latin Week. Ay Carumba!

For more on last night's Dancing With The Stars, check out our friends at TV Cocktail.

The actor, who has had a history of anger management issues, having been arrested in 1999 for punching an ATM, went on a rampage, after what seemed to be a fight with a taxi driver, allegedly assaulting one man with a crate and breaking another's leg.

Police say that Nathaniel seemed to be under the influence of narcotics, possible cocaine, and that he resisted arrest, fighting off the cops. He was charged with two counts each of felony assault, reckless endangerment and criminal possession of a weapon as well as one count of resisting arrest. He was taken to Bellevue hospital, where he was labeled an emotionally disturbed person.

Sources say the actor will most likely lose his job on the soap. He was suddenly fired with no explanation in 2003, but was rehired when fans wrote in protesting his dismissal. It's doubtful, after this incident, that they'll be yet another life for Nathaniel to live.

Another three-named celebrity is on the board.

Desperate Housewives's Eva Longoria will be adding her hubby's last name to her own. Look out for "Eva Longoria Parker" on the opening credits of her hit show.

"I completely adopted the new name and I love it ... I'm a Parker now," the newlywed said Thursday at the Padres Contra El Cáncer (Parents Against Cancer) annual benefit in Los Angeles. "I love every bit of it ... I like the tradition of changing the name."

I'm all for the traditions, but the names are a little tough together -- they don't roll off the tongue. Tony Parker should have added Longoria to his name. Tony Parker Longoria -- now that flows.

It was a nice try for the cameras, but a spy for Perez Hilton says that Jake and Reese spent Saturday touring the sights and showed their amore out in the open, as they snuggled close at the Trevi fountain.

We so knew, when they completely avoided each other at the New York premiere of the flick , that they were trying to fool us into thinking they were done. Give us a little credit, kids. We've seen this before.

At their concert Friday night, Marc sang the Journey song "Faithfully" for his bump-bearing wife, saying, "I'm going to take a chance and dedicate this to Jennifer." When Marc got to the part where Steve Perry famously crooned, "They say that the road ain't no place to start a family," the crowd went wild.

Whatever. He should have followed it up with the Go Go's "Our Lips Are Sealed" -- now that would have been funny.

Presumably, Britney fixed the problems at hand, as she was seen, in her accident-prone white Mercedes convertible, with Sean Preston and Jayden James cruising in the back seat. There was another person in the passenger seat, who was most likely the a court-appointed monitor.

Britney and ex Kevin Federline are due back in court for more fun on Oct. 26.

Kid and five members of his posse were arrested Saturday night, after playing a show in Atlanta. After performing, the crew stopped by a local Waffle House to get some grub, where they ran into a guy who knew one of Kid's groupies. Apparently some not-so-nice words flew between the man and Kid and it led to a beat down and some window smashing. The rapper's tour bus was pulled over shortly after and he and his entourage were charged with simple battery.

Kid Rock posted $1,000 bail and was released from jail Sunday -- get this -- signing autographs on his way out.

A brawl at a Waffle House? Giving his John Hancock to fans at the jail? LOVE IT.

The 19-year-old son of The Bold and the Beautiful actress Hunter Tylo has died.

Michael Tylo, Jr. drowned and was pronounced dead on Thursday. A rep for B&B tells People.com, "Hunter is not commenting at this time. But I can confirm that her son Michael, who is 19, died yesterday in Henderson, Nevada."

Hunter famously sued Aaron Spelling for firing her when she landed a role on Melrose Place, then became pregnant. She won a big chunk of change.

When I used to work at Soap Opera Digest, I always made fun of her for a variety of reasons... like the plastic surgery and these bizarre posts she'd make on her Website. But right now, I'm just feeling very bad. How tragic.

Have you gossip addicts been keeping up with your Daily Blabber this week?

All week we spend so much time "studying" all things celebrity in the Blabber, so Tracy and I thought we'd put your celeb knowledge to the test. Introducing... the Daily Blabber Quick quiz. Take this quickie -- about celeb stories you read about right here all week -- and see how you stack up against other gossip addicts.

Take the quiz >>

Did Salma Hayek's baby daddy father another celeb's baby last year? Get the scoop. Plus: Updates on about-to-pop stars like Lili Taylor, Halle Berry, Jennifer Lopez and new mama Samantha Harris.

Watch Daily Blabber TV now >>

Take a guess, then click on the photo to see how well you know your celebrity kids.

Borat creator, Sascha Baron Cohen and his equally funny actress fiancee, Isla Fisher, have welcomed their first child, according to reports in Australia (where Isla was raised) and Britain. No other information was given and their reps have no comment.

Isla told People.com back in July that she planned to take it easy after the baby arrived . "I haven't got any plans to jump back into [work after the birth]," she says. "I'm so happy, very happy, and very excited."

This is the first child for both. Congrats!

While pulling out of a parking garage last night, Britney ran over the foot of a paparazzi photographer. The pop tart, who definitely needs to brush up on the Department of Motor Vehicle handbook, was caught on video slowly driving her white Mercedes convertible, when the photographer fell to the ground "near her front left tire while apparently shouting in pain." Britney is then seen raising her hand to her mouth in shock and crying behind the wheel as she leaves the scene --without checking on the man's condition.

Okay, she definitely should have stopped to see if the guy was okay, but she had to feel vulnerable being surrounded by the swarms of paparazzi. And, really, if they are that close to her car that their foot could get run over, it's their own fault.

The Beverly Hills police says the incident was not reported.

Oh, Britney. I can't belive I'm saying this but, take a lesson from Paris Hilton and hire a driver. On a silly note, are those pumpkins on the dashboard a way for Britney to keep count of how many accidents she's been in?

"I've had my heart broken since my divorce," tells the mag, in its November issue. "That's OK. I believe you fall in love more than once and get your heart broken more than once. Trust me, I have cried myself to sleep."

Could Jess be talking about her affair with John Mayer? She seemed all into him, but after they broke up John seemed just fine, dating Cameron Diaz, and now seeing Friday Night Lights's Minka Kelly.

But Jessica insists that she's getting some life lessons from her bumpy relationship road. Even though she once felt like "the princess in the fairy tale – then reality came crashing in, and I learned that isn't always how life works."

Ain't that the truth.

Like you couldn't see this one coming.

Singer Amy Winehouse was arrested in a hotel in Norway on Thursday, where she was taken in by police and charged with drug possession. Her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil was also charged. After being questioned by police all night, Amy was released. She was fined $500 for marijuana possession and still plans on performing at her scheduled concert tonight.

No word if Amy -- who is supposed to be recovering from drug and alcohol abuse -- and Blake were all bloody and beaten up, as usual, when they were caught by police.

The Donald's latest victim is, none other than, Angelina Jolie. During an interview on CNN’s Larry King Live, Donald ripped into Angelina, saying she's just a bunch of hype.

“Angelina Jolie is sort of amazing because everyone thinks she’s like this great beauty. And I’m not saying she’s an unattractive woman, but she’s not beauty, by any stretch of the imagination. In terms of beauty, she’s not a great beauty. She’s a nice looking woman. She’s OK. But she’s not a great beauty.”

Donald seems to think that because he's the king of the pageant, that he is the all-knowing when it comes to looks. “I really understand beauty. And I will tell you, she’s not — I do own Miss Universe. I do own Miss USA. I mean, I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she’s not.”

The business mogul then brought up some of Angelina's past questionable behavior -- and, as usual, didn't mince words."I remember at the Academy Awards a few years ago she was frenching her brother. She was giving her brother lip kisses like I never saw before in my life. And she had just said she made love to Billy Bob Thornton in the back of the limousine on the way over,” he explained. “And I wouldn’t want to shake her hand, by the way.”

“And now she’s like a representative of the United Nations and world peace on hunger and all of this crap,” he continued. “It’s called give me a break.”

Then, suddenly, Donald did a 180 and gave Angie props on her new life. “By the way, she’s done an amazing transformation. I give her credit,” he concluded. “Amazing. If you would have had the things and done the things that she did, and to be this representative of women and the world, is incredible. So I give her great credit. She’s done one of the great transformations I’ve ever seen.”

Maybe old Donald got scared that Brad Pitt was going to be bring his buddies, George Clooney and Matt Damon over for a little visit.

Say what you want about Angelina, but she will never be as awful as Trump.

It's a miracle!

One of Hollywood's starlet's may have actually learned something from their past mistakes! Or maybe Paris Hilton has been reading the Daily Blabber, where we constantly tell the drunk stars, who get picked up for DUI, to take a cab, but the heiress finally made a smart move and hired a driver after a long night of partying. Hooray!

Us Weekly reports that after "smoking all night and mixing her own vodka drinks with the bottles on her table," doing shots, table dancing, and canoodling with on-again-off-again beau Stavros Niarchos at Les Deux, Paris was overheard telling friends not to worry about her getting home -- she had hired someone to drive her.

Huh! An intelligent decision from Paris? I'm actually stunned.

Brit has reached a financial agreement with the owners of the car she damaged in that parking lot hit-and-run. So did Kim Robard-Rifkin, the owner of the 1999 Mercedes-Benz, get millions? Hardly. Brit's lawyer tells People that the sum of the settlement was in the $1,000 range.

The pop tart's two misdemeanor criminal charges of hit-and-run causing property damage and driving without a valid California driver's license still stand. But Britney's people say that if she actually pays up, like she's supposed to, the hit-and-run charge will likely be dropped.

"We're also working on resolving the license issue," he added. "That charge can be reduced to a mere traffic infraction upon showing proof that she's licensed."

If only the rest of her life could clean up as easily...

I wasn't aware that Roseanne actor John Goodman was even in rehab, until I read a report from the Associated Press that he is now out. It's unclear how long he was in the facility (Promises, of course) or what he was being treated for, but John, who won an Emmy this year for his guest stint on Matthew Perry's defunct Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip, released this statement through his publicist:

“For my family and myself, I voluntarily took the necessary steps to remain sober the rest of my life.”

I'm glad John got help for whatever was ailing him. He always struck me as jovial on the outside, but really tortured on the inside. Hopefully rehab helped him beat the demons.

According to TMZ.com, Britney Spears has had her visitation rights with her kids suspended again until she complies with all court orders. This decision came after Kevin Federline's lawyer went to court yesterday for an emergency hearing. The order reads, "Petitioner's (Britney's) visitation with the minor children is suspended pending Petitioner's compliance with the court orders."

Apparently Britney did not provide the drug testing people with contact information so they could reach her to facilitate the random tests.

Brit's next shot at getting her kids back is October 26, when she's been ordered back to court. Until then, I'm sure she'll continue wearing her "F--k off" jacket, talking smack about the judge and acting like she doesn't give a crap about anything.

What a sad, sad girl.

This photo was taken yesterday, after Lindsay visited Ken Paves's salon in Hollywood. You know, Jessica's main hair man, who's also her supposed BFF. Well, Lindsay and Jessica are not pals, and Jess will surely be pissed that her guy is catering to the likes of Linds.

What's next? A date with Nick Lachey and then spin with John Mayer? Jessica's probably crying in her extensions as we speak.

I think I'm on to something, kids. Now she should trade in that tiny dog for one that will help her get around...

I was watching Oprah the other day and was wondering what was up with my beloved Ms. O. She had been looking so fantastic in the past few years, and suddenly, was no longer emitting that glow I had become accustomed to. Also, she seemed to be putting on weight again, after working so hard to keep her body in shape.

Well, the deal is that Ops has a thyroid condition that is messing with her bod -- big time. In the new issue of O, the talk show queen talks about the months of suffering she endured, before figuring out what was actually wrong with her. "My body was turning on me. First hyperthyroidism, which sped up my metabolism and left me unable to sleep for days. Then hypothyroidism, which slowed down my metabolism and made me want to sleep all the time." The latter contributed to a 20 pound weight gain, and left Oprah feeling completely out of gas.

"I craved balance. I was desperate to be somewhere in the middle of hyper and hypo—where, obviously, I'd been my whole life, taking it for granted because I didn't know any better. We often need a malfunction to appreciate all the things that function."

After doctors found the culprit, Oprah spent the entire month of June in Hawaii -- resting. "Yes, the whole month—dedicated to myself, for myself," she said in O. "To regroup. Rejuvenate. Restore my soul."

"I may have lost a few friends," she recalled, noting how she had to turn down quite a few invitations, "but I know for sure I saved myself. And learned that making the decision to look after yourself is the ultimate in health care."

Not to be preachy, but I think this is such an important message for women. A lot of us spread ourselves so thin, trying to be everything to everyone, that we don't pay attention to our own needs. Your ailments don't have to be as critical as Oprah's medical condition -- maybe you're just beat from killing yourself to be the best mom, or employee, or friend. Let's take a lesson from Oprah (I always do) and give ourselves a break every now and then -- it could save our lives.

That's right -- I said Lindsay Lohan's boyfriend's fiancee goes off on the newly-rehabbed Lindsay, for hooking up with her man. The National Enquirer got a hold of Breanna Tierney (natch!), former fiance of Lindsay's guy, Riley Giles, and the girl took the opportunity to bash the hell out of Linds. Here's some goodies from the article:

“Riley went into rehab to get his life together and in the process meets Lindsay and ruins my life."

“I loved Riley and Lindsay stole him. I met her at a meeting while they
were still patients at Cirque, and I just knew something was up."

“She came into the meeting with Riley, and she comes over and sits next
to me, being overly nice. She was complimenting me on my hair and trying
to be my friend. It didn’t seem sincere at all."

“A few days later, I get a text message from Riley telling me he wanted
to ‘take a break.’ I knew instantly it was because of Lindsay.”

“I’ve stuck by Riley through the good and the bad. We lived together for three years and planned on being
together forever. But when he finally confessed to me that he had sex with Lindsay in
one of the stairwells at Cirque — that was it, we were done.”

“Lindsay has no morals and needs some serious help –
besides drug rehab — for all her other problems.”

That is one, big, bitter pill, huh?

Our Notebook dreams have been dashed for good, as the co-stars Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams have finally confirmed their breakup. It was obvious that the couple split several months ago when they went from being inseparable to completely falling off the radar, but nobody was talking. Now, Ryan opens up in the new issue of GQ, explaining how the end of the relationship even devastated strangers.

"Women are mad at me," Ryan tells the men's mag. "A girl came up to me on the street and she almost smacked me. Like, 'How could you? How could you let a girl like that go?' I feel like I want to give people hugs, they seem so sad. Rachel and I should be the ones getting hugs! Instead, we're consoling everybody else."

Ry does admit, that like their alter egos in the movie, their affair was intense, but he rubs salts in our wounds by saying that their on-screen love didn't hold a candle to the real thing!

"God bless The Notebook," he says. "It introduced me to one of the great loves of my life. But people do Rachel and me a disservice by assuming we were anything like the people in that movie. Rachel and my love story is a hell of a lot more romantic than that."

WHAT? More romantic? I can't stand it! I don't think I've stopped crying yet, from that movie, and I saw it five years ago.

As for the breakup itself, Ryan says it wasn't pretty. "The only thing I remember is we both went down swingin' and we called it a draw."

Great, now I'll just continue to cry over this for the next five years.

Here's a shot of mother of the year Britney Spears in a jacket that says "F*** Off Lover Boy."

I just don't get how a mom would wear something like that -- let alone a mother trying to regain custody of her kids.

Maybe we should ask Mrs. A-Rod, Cynthia Rodriguez.

Source: X17

Who does this little fella belong to? Here's a hint... both his mommy and daddy are famous, but for different things.

Take a guess, then click on the photo to see if you're correct.

Spotted: Country "It Girl" Carrie Underwood making googly eyes at Gossip Girl's extreme pretty boy, Chace Crawford.

If you don't watch Gossip Girl (you're mad, but that's besides the point), Chace is the smoldering young lad with the so-blue-I-can't-believe-they're-real eyes. Chace and Carrie Underwood dined at Nobu last week, then hit Marquee drink champagne and get their kiss on. “They were all over each other,” an eyewitness told Us Weekly.

Here's the timeline on the new couple: They met in May when Chace (a country music fan!) introduced himself to Carrie at Hyde; Carrie and her football honey, Tony Romo, broke up in July; Chace and Carrie put things into high gear by texting and dating.

Carrie told People, "He's really cute. I've met him and he seems like a really nice guy. He's got cool hair, he's a nice height and he just has beautiful blue eyes."

Sounds like Carrie is playing it cool, but friends say girl is a smitten kitten. "It's total love," someone whispered.

I love the Gossip Girl! Get on board now, if you're not already. You won't be sorry.

Dancing with the Stars alum Laila Ali is the latest celeb to appear in a Got Milk? ad.

She looks great... but I'll stick with my soy.

Ah -- the big questions in life.

PS: Where's her bra?

Last night, Marissa Ribisi and Sophie Coloma debuted their label, Whitley Kros, at Smashbox Studios during L.A.'s Fashion Week. Designer/actress Marissa is the twin sister of actor Giovanni Ribisi and is married to Beck, who provided the rockin' music, so some of their very famous Scientology-devoted friends were in the house. One of our spies was there as well. Here's what she saw…

My Name Is Earl was in the house! Both hot mama Jaime Pressly and Jason Lee were there to show their friends some love. Jaime got there early, took her seat and "happily answered questions for reporters as bulbs flashed around her." Jason was there with his wife, Beth Piesgraf, and their "gorgeous" son, who they famously named Pilot Inspektor.

The Ribisis had a family section, where the designer's closest kin grouped and gossiped about the show. As Beck made his way to the DJ booth, he stopped by to say hello to his in-laws. He was wearing a pointy black felt hat and robe-like jacket. Perhaps he was channeling his inner Harry Potter? I guess he'd need the lightning bolt scar if he was really going for it.

"I’ve never seen a fashion show before," Beck told our spy. "I’ve spent the last three days figuring out what music to play and I’ve never even seen one of these things."

Kirstie Alley arrived seconds before the show started looking "slimmer than ever." She burned even more calories clapping enthusiastically throughout the show as the bright pieces floated down the runway.

So there was a great Scientology presence – L. Ron would be thrilled. However, sadly, there was no Suri Cruise sighting. Perhaps she sent her personal shopper so she wouldn't have to deal with being photographed.

Britney Spears had better watch what she says -- and how loud she says it -- because the walls have ears. Even the wall in the dressing rooms in Neiman Marcus are listening.

Brtiney copped an attitude last week, while trying on some Juicy dresses at the department store. An Us Weekly staffer (lucky, lucky) overheard the pop tart complaining about the judge presiding over her custody battle with Kevin Federline.

"I hate my judge," Brit whined to her assistant, Bret. "He is so mean. Just an old fart. He told me I was being catty with him, but he was being catty with me and paid me no respect at all. His job is to sit there and tell people what to do," Spears said. "And that's just so sad, because he gets off on it."

Someone had better watch their tone, missy. Brit's only getting one overnight visit a week with her kids, as of now, and that can be taken away just as quickly if Miss Louisiana doesn't mind her southern manners.

Wonder if they hit In-N-Out Burger after the show?

The article also claims that Tom and Katie don't believe in scolding their baby girl, instead discipline is all about "being positive and supportive" -- as Hubbard advises parents to “try to be the child’s friend.”

"Suri pretty much does whatever she wants, whenever she wants," a pal close to the couple said. "If she fusses before bed, they let her stay up later. If they want her to go swimming and she cries, they’ll take her out. If she whines about food, they’ll ask her what else she wants to eat. They always want to please her.”

Scientologist or not, it sounds like Suri will grow up to be a typical Hollywood offspring -- spoiled and bratty. But, for now, she's still cute.

Then I read this article in Marie Claire, where Private Practice's Kate Walsh talks about turning 40, and how she's really at peace with the big number.

"Probably, honestly, I would have cared more if I were still single," she says (she married her Prince Charming, Alex Young, last month). "But I've also been working through all the big things that you grapple with as a female: relationship, work, fertility. I feel I'm in such a place of peace in my life that 40 feels like a great marker of a great year."

And Kate says she's through with looking at herself with magnifying glass. "I went through a phase last year where I obsessed over every flaw," she says. "I'm so happy that I got through it and didn't take any action. Because it was just the regular anxiety of, 'It's weird to age.' My body changed hugely between 35 and 37. Everything suddenly dropped. This is pretty much how it's going to be for me, right here. I enjoy life, and part of that for me is eating."

So, maybe I'm not a big television star, but I have a pretty good life -- a great husband, a great kid, a great job(!), family, friends. Even without the millions of dollars, I'm just as fortunate as Kate -- and will try to accept that, with age, comes wisdom.

And if that doesn't happen, there's always plastic surgery ; )

There's just something about Lindsay Lohan that makes people want to jump out of their regular lives and into hers. Us Weekly is reporting that Lindsay's new boyfriend, Riley Giles, was actually engaged to someone else!

Bree Tierney of Murray, Utah, apparently found out that her fiance had moved on with the movie star from the tabloids. "Riley just stopped calling Bree and never told her about Lindsay," Bree's mom told the mag. "She found out by seeing photos. It destroyed her."

Man, that sucks. You think your future hubby is getting all clean and healthy in rehab, then, BAM!, he's hooked up with Lindsay Lohan, and you are history. You just can't see something like that coming.

Investigations are continuing in Orlando Bloom's car accident, that occurred last week. TMZ.com is reporting that the LAPD still looking at the possibility that the actor committed a hit and run, when he hit two parked cars.

Paparazzi agency X17 has video of the aftermath of the accident , which occurred just after 2 AM, as Orlando was on his way home from a club. One of his passengers, Cher Coulter, suffered a fractured neck, and immediately after the crash, the video shows Orlando walking away from the scene. When the paparazzi repeatedly urged him to return, he finally did.

Orlando was not given any sobriety tests at the scene. The LAPD says the investigation is still open.

Uh-oh.

The feud between actor Jon Voight and his children, Angelina Jolie and James Haven, just won't end. Despite false reports that Jon shared a visit with Angie and the kids, while she and Brad Pitt were in New York, there is still a ton of bad blood between the family members.

In the new issue of Marie Claire, Angie's bro, James says he's dedicating himself to helping abandoned women and children because of his volatile childhood. "I don't want to constantly berate my father -- I wish him well, and I hope he finds peace -- but he put my mom through years of mental abuse," he told the mag of Jon.

When Jon got wind of the unkind words being thrown his way, he gave his own statement to Us Weekly:

"I find it very heartbreaking that my children want to paint a bad guy portrait of me. I feel it comes from their inability to let go of years of programmed anger from their mother, who understandably felt quite hurt when we divorced. In all truth, I tried to give him and their mother continuous love and support and large sums of money. God knows, for years I've tried to mend this relationship. Perhaps the trauma of their mother's passing has made it worse."

But he's not giving up on his family just yet. "I continuously send them my heart and love and am always available to them for whatever they may need from me," he added.

I don't know the real story of what went on when Angelina and James were kids, but Jon seems so willing to try and fix things. Hopefully all parties involved will eventually come to terms with their past -- and maybe Jon will even get a chance to hang with Jolie-Pitt clan at some point.

When my co-worker Stef, who writes Star Snapshots, saw this photo she said: "I've done a lot of inventive things to calm my kid down and keep her distracted, but I've never handed her a $20! That’s my lunch money for the week! Ahh, the toys of the kids of the rich and famous..."

Amen.

Meanwhile, I'm off to see Jen in Cyrano de Bergerac this evening. Here's hoping I don't nod off in the nearly 3-hour-long play.

I bet most of you haven't heard of him. His claim to fame is that he dates one of the blondies on The Hills. How A-list! Ole Spence reminds me of every jerky kid in high school rolled into one. You know -- the dorky, pimpled kid who would take his bag lunch out of his locker in between classes, wing it down the crowded hallway, hit a girl in the face with it... then when she became upset would say something like: What's her problem? She must be on the rag. Maybe I went to school with bigger jerks than you did, but you get the point.

In the November issue of Radar, Spencer is interviewed and says a bunch of annoying crap like: "It's so much cooler to have people come up to me and be like, 'Spencer Pratt!' and know my name, than to be Orlando Bloom, who's famous for being some pirate."

Some pirate? Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl grossed $654,264,015 and was so popular there were two sequels.

Now it's my turn to be very high school for a moment and say that at least Orlando is, um, hot. I'd rather listen to Bloomie flap his gums all day than this kid. Ugh.

Nicole is looking tired. You can tell she's getting to the point in her pregnancy where she feels like, "Okay, that was a fun ride -- now I want to get off!"

Hang in there, Nicole!

Source: X17 Agency

There is nothing more attractive than a hot man who is a good father.

For more stars and their kids getting ready for Halloween, check out Star Snaps.

Source: X17 Agency

Cat fight, cat fight!

Drunky "reformed" party girl, Tara Reid, says she's getting a bad rap in Hollywood, for no reason -- and those other starlets are so much worse than her.

"I think the reason I never ended up in as much trouble as Paris or Lindsay seem to is that I'm not stupid, so I'd never do a lot of the things those girls do, and I've always had good friends around me. They need to straighten up a little bit and make better investments. And they should surround themselves with better people who don't let them get themselves in trouble. You'll never read a story about me going out and partying when I'm supposed to be working. Nor would I show up on a set drunk or miss a day's work - never."

I'm not the biggest supporter of Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan, but Tara should think these things through before she starts naming names. That's no way to make friends. I mean, who's she going to drink with?

"I remember spending most of my days off in and out of a variety of VD clinics . . . I was dating a porno chick as well as this sweet little junkie jailbait girlfriend I had."

-- rocker guitarist Slash from '80s rock group Guns N' Roses, in his new memoir, Slash

She's in the system, folks.

Britney Spears was fingerprinted and booked by the LAPD last night, in connection with her infamous parking lot hit-and-run last month. According to an officer who spoke to TMZ.com, "At approximately 9:25 PM Miss Britney Spears checked into the Van Nuys County Jail for a court ordered booking. She was put through standard booking procedures which included booking photographs, fingerprinting and collection of information. Britney was at all time cooperative in the process. She was there approximately 45 minutes."

Last week, a judge ordered that Britney get the booking taken care of by her hearing on October 25, which she, remarkably, managed to do.

Does that rank as being on the right track, if she showed up for a mug shot on time? I'm not sure.

Let us all weep for Paris Hilton, who told Newsweek that her privileged world, that kept her nicely accessorized on the outside, had kept her barren within. "Before, my life was about having fun, going to parties -- it was a fantasy. But when I had time to reflect, I felt empty inside. I want to leave a mark on the world."

Hasn't she already left a mark? Like a big, ugly bruise, that gets all purple and gross, as time passes?

The heiress says her upcoming trip to Rwanda, with the children's charity, Playing for Good, is just a start in her do-gooding, though the adventure might be very different than what's she used. "I'm scared, yeah. I've heard it's really dangerous. I've never been on a trip like this before."

But she need not worry, as there will be plenty of cameras shading her from any dangers that lurk. ""I love having everything documented. It shows people what everyday life is like for me, how hard I work."

Right, because, of course, this trip is all about you. Unbelievable.

In the new issue of Harper's Bazaar, Jennifer Aniston comes clean about what she fantasizes about. "I would love to be Oprah – for just one day," the actress says in the 140th anniversary issue of the mag. Her occupation and love interest? "I'd be a spy. A very glamorous spy who plays poker and lives in Monaco," she says. "And has affairs with Daniel Craig."

But back in real life, Jen talks about making the cross country move from L.A. to New York, where she says she is much more likely not to be recognized. "If you can get away from the paparazzi and they don't know where you are, you can actually walk, walk, walk. I don't know, I'm just tired of Los Angeles," she tells the magazine, which goes on sale Oct. 23. "In New York, you're not just in that same car, looking at that same dashboard, driving down the same street."

As for being under the media's microscope, Jen says she's so over it. "I used to care a hell of a lot more about what people said or thought. But that had to change when my life was under a microscope being scrutinized and my personal life was being talked about," she says. "You have to go, 'This is not acceptable in any way,' whether it's about me personally or in business, success versus failure."

So Jen may just pack up her Friends DVDs and get out of Dodge. Oh, and as for her lingering thoughts on the sitcom that made her a household name? "I don't think anybody thought Friends would become what it did," she says. "It's all good, though. It's nothing but blessings. But seriously, who actually dances in a fountain?"

My husband is always yelling at me that my underwear is hanging out. I try to tell him that I can't help it, when I'm wearing those pesky low-rise jeans and I'm playing with my kid on the floor. Obviously, Jen has the same problem.

I'll admit this photo is slightly disturbing, a little too much plumber's crack for my taste, but I still love her -- she's just doing her thong, um, thing.

For more celebrities who rock their buttocks (seriously, is there a better line than that? Thanks, Lindsey), check out our Stars with Their Pants Down slide show.

Who's the celebrity behind the book? The only clue I can really give is she's one of the last celebs you'd expect to see reading.

Take a guess, then click on the photo -- or right here -- for your answer.

Here Ben takes Violet for a leisurely stroll in New York (I'm overlooking that Red Sox hat), over the weekend.

So. Freakin'. Cute.

Pamela Anderson wants us all to know that -- despite rumors otherwise -- she is not having new hubby, Rick Salomon's baby. At least not yet.

"Please tell everybody – categorically I am not pregnant," Pam told celebrity blogger Robin Leach. "It's just not true. I'd tell you if it was."

Which is a good thing for oh, so many reasons, but specifically because Robin also reported that Pam was "celebrating her marriage last weekend with bottles of expensive Cristal champagne."

On her own blog, Pam wrote that she doesn't read the stories about her -- but that Rick can't help it. "So funny," she writes. "I don't normally look at press but Rick does sometimes. And so much nonsense. Don't believe what you read. Esp about people personal business."

So, there you have it. Not pregnant -- just crazy.

The Daily News is reporting that Kate Hudson and recent beau, Dax Shephard, have ended their relationship. The couple, who were first seen together in July, seemed to have parted ways last week, when Kate had enough.

"They weren't working out, and she got bored," says the friend. "She's telling people it's a clean break."

I'm thinking that Kate has probably been distracted from Dax since her ex Owen Wilson tried to commit suicide in late August. Kate and Owen had been broken up a few months, when she started making out with Dax in the supermarket, but after Owen was hospitalized Kate reportedly tried to reach out to him.

I wouldn't be surprised if Kate and Owen wind up back together.

No, she didn't have a throwdown with a co-host -- it's all love love on that chatfest these days -- she's going out on maternity leave. A spokeswoman for the show says that Elisabeth will be vacating her spot on the panel either on Nov. 8 or 9, as she goes off to have her second child with football hubby, Tim Hasselbeck.

No names have been given, but a variety of celebrity guest hosts are said to be filling Elisabeth's empty seat. Enter your Rosie O' Donnell joke here.

You may know her as "Anna" from The O.C. -- well, that's how I know her -- or from her gig on Entourage, but either way, actress Samaire Armstrong is fighting some emotional battles.

Samaire has entered an outpatient facility for what is being called "personal issues," but will continue her work on her new show, Dirty Sexy Money. The nature of the demons she is fighting was not revealed.

Any guesses? Drugs, booze, eating disorder, depression?

Pirates of the Caribbean star Orlando Bloom was involved in a car crash Friday morning, while on his way home from a night out with some friends.

According to People mag, Orlando swerved to avoid another vehicle and hit two parked cars. "Bloom believed he was being followed by the paparazzi," an LAPD officer on the seen said. "He believed the car that cut him off was driven by a photographer."

Orlando was not found to have any signs of intoxication and no sobriety tests were even issued in the investigation.Though Orlando managed to get out without any wounds, the two other passengers in the car sustained minor injuries -- one fractured her neck, the other was cut by her seatbelt.

"[He] is grateful that no one was seriously injured ... He spent last night at the hospital to be with his childhood friend who sustained a minor neck injury. He is thankful that emergency services arrived so quickly and that the ER staff at Cedars Sinai took such good care of his friend," the actor's rep said in a statement on Friday.

Ah, another busy week in Hollywood down. Didn't have time to catch all the headlines? Don't worry -- Daily Blabber has ya covered. Find out the latest dish -- in under two minutes -- in our Daily Blabber TV week in review.

Some highlights...

Who is the owner of this growing belly? No, it's not Jennifer Lopez. She's not there quite yet. Here's a clue... She's pretty funny and her significant other is even funnier.

Take a guess, then click on the photo to see if you're correct.

Don't do it, Brit. Stay home with your kids.

Word on the street is that Britney Spears is auditioning dancers for a possible upcoming tour to promote her new album, Blackout, which is being released on October 30.

Usmagazine.com talked to the owner of the Millenium Dance Studio in North Hollywood, where Brit is slated to start the dancer tryouts on Friday. Could be for a new video, right? So, what makes Robert Baker think Brit's got a tour in her future?

"Britney's booked a considerable amount of space and time for the next couple of months," he said. "And of course we're honored and humbled that she's chosen us again. The tell tale sign for us is her booking space -- it's her typical warm-up behavior for a tour. She's done it this way before all her tours. It's a big sign that she's getting back her focus after all these distractions. The focus is definitely coming back."

Not a good idea. Not the best way to show a judge that you are rededicating yourself to being a good parent -- unless she plans on touring nursery schools in her neighborhood.

If I was just sentenced to six months in jail, I wouldn