Why TV Guide, why?

I have so many questions that need to be answered regarding the new issue of what is supposed to be a concise listing of what I should be watching on television.

1) Why would you have a "get-in-shape" issue? People read your mag because they don't want to go to the gym -- they want to sit on their couch, eating Cakesters, and watch bad reality TV.

2) Why would you put Audrina from The Hills on the cover? Other than her nice butt, girl really doesn't have a lot to offer the American public. She actually says that she gets her good backside by wearing "heels when I vacuum." Ah, such sound advice.

3) Does the world really need more of Mario Lopez? I still can't figure out how he went from Saved By The Bell's A.C. Slater to the hottest commodity on television right now. Especially with quotes like, "I never feel awake unless I'm sweating."

4) Why would we ever want to see these two together? It's like annoyance overload. And how long before they start dating?

Please TV Guide, don't fall prey to the pressures of the magazine industry. Go back to doing what you do best --telling us what to watch -- and leave all the nakedy, oiled-up covers to the other publications -- like Miley Cyrus' Vanity Fair.