You know when you're googly in love with someone and you send them all these cutesy, sappy notes and messages?

Yeah, well wouldn't it suck if, after you've broken up, the object of your affection decided to sell your sentiments for cash?

That's what happening to Madonna.

According to the New York Post, messages Madge sent to a long-ago ex are being auctioned off in the online Rock & Roll Pop Art Auction. The goods include two microcassette tapes of answering machine messages Madonna for ex James Albright, a former bodyguard of hers, and 21 love letters she faxed him from various hotels around the world. In the messages, Madge refers to herself as "Lil' Booty" and "Lola Montez," and calls James a bunch other names.

In case you're interested in buying, bidding on the answering machine tapes starts at $25,000. The letters are going for $3,000.

I have enough sapmail in my own past -- I certainly don't need Madonna's.