Much respect to E! for Heidi and Spencer the big kiss-off.

The people have spoken and 94% of the website's visitors have chimed in that they are done with The Hills couple.

I adore all of them for that.

E! amusingly posted, "Barring any actual news (e.g., she gets knocked up, he falls off a cliff or--heaven help us--her album goes to No. 1), consider this their very last post."

This calls for some sort of grand celebration!

Al Roker must be hanging with Lauren Conrad on the weekends, because the dude has so much hatred for Heidi and Spencer Pratt it's crazy!

Speidi was on Today this morning, talking about their appearance on I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here, when the venom began to seep out of Al Roker's voice. He was just so disgusted by them!

After, Heidi and Spencer talked to Ryan Seacrest -- and took shots at the anchor.

"I'm still trying to figure out, was the weatherman asking us questions?" he told Ryan. "I thought we were getting interviewed by Matt Lauer or something."

Heidi said that mean, old Al drove her tears!

"I was shocked at how rude he was - I was crying afterwards because I couldn't believe I felt personally attacked. I wanted to say to him, do you feel proud of how you're talking to me right now? I'm just a young woman and you're coming at me so aggressively and meanly [sic] and mean-spirited."

The soon-to-be Playboy bunny insisted, "I just wanted to talk about the show and my experience there and how fun it was, and he just made it a very uncomfortable and awful experience. I really would advise women especially to be careful around him because I feel like he definitely came and attacked me and I did not appreciate that at all."

The interview was really uncomfortable to watch -- Al was almost unprofessional -- but Heidi and Spencer deserve everything they get and plenty more.

I can't. But I have to.

Forgive me.

Heidi and Spencer Pratt are not quitting I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!

No, instead, the terrible twosome will stay in Costa Rica, with all the other people they consider to be much less famous than them.

"Heidi and Spencer are still in the jungle and part of the show," their rep told UsMagazine.com Wednesday morning.

On Tuesday night's show, Spencer got our hopes up that we wouldn't have to see him on TV for a while when he said, "Super-celebrities don't belong in the jungle. They belong in Hollywood with the paparazzi."

They even got Spencer's sister, Stephanie Pratt, and some other dude named Spenser to act as a decoy at LAX Tuesday night, to make us think the real H&S really did leave the reality competition.

But, lo and behold, they are still hanging on. 

I know, nobody cares.

I'm just kidding -- the Jesus we are talking about now is Madonna's latest boytoy Jesus Luz.

According to the NY Daily News, Madonna and Jesus are planning a commitment ceremony at the Kabbalah center they attend in NYC. The duo have been dating for about six months -- even Madonna's pals were doing their best to keep these two together -- and sources say things have gotten pretty serious pretty quickly.

"Madonna was devastated when her Malawi adoption was rejected but now she wants to lavish some attention on Jesus and she's keen to make sure they have a solid relationship. They are totally besotted with each other," an insider said.

What is with all the rushing?! Can't anyone just date anymore? 

Awww, the nauseating newlyweds are at it again.

Didn't Heidi and Spencer realize that they are opening themselves up to so many bad jokes when they decided to Lady and the Tramp that piece of pasta in front of the paparazzi?

I'll just go for the easy one and let you all add your own in the comment section.

Spencer & Heidi = Lady and the Tramp, but who's who?

Your turn.

Come on!

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, not only are Chris Brown and Rihanna back together, but the explosive couple are said to be living together. A family friend of Ri's said that though Chris isn't officially on the lease, he and his girl, who he had been arrested for beating in February, have had "quite a few nights together." 

Pretty sure she's out of her mind for taking Chris back? Yeah, well she doesn't care what we think. The source says that "Rihanna still wants him and has told all of us to 'get over yourselves. ... I'm with him, so deal with it.'" The insider did say, though, that Ri and Chris are going to lay low as a couple for a while.

A rep for Chris had no comment.

Okay, I know you must have something to say about all of this. Hit me in the comments section!

My girl Jacki is blessed with the luxury of spending some quality time with everyone's favorite reality duo, Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, this Friday! We know you're jealous, but we want to give you the opportunity to have your voices heard by The Hills twosome. 

Are you dying to know when Speidi is really getting married? Do you wonder how they put up with each other? Is Lauren Conrad chained up in their basement?

Leave your questions for Heidi and Spencer in the comments section below and we'll let you know once we've extracted all the juice from them. It's gonna be good...

Though her hubby, Blake Fielder-Civil, is reportedly planning to file for divorce from Amy, the singer says that she's not going to let him go.

"I still love my Blake. I won't let him divorce me," she told Britain's The Sun.

Oh my god! Run! Why aren't you running?!

Amy's been hanging in St. Lucia while Blake continues to do time, but the Rehab singer says that she's just waiting it out until her hubs gets out.

"Blake is the male version of me. We're perfect for each other," Amy told the paper. "I don't want to go back home to England. I want to wait for Blake here."

And what about the rumors that she's been hooking up with that rugby player, Josh Bowman, while she "waits for Blake"?

"Josh was lovely," she said, "But it was a holiday thing. I've got my Blake.

Right. Of course.

Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake "Incarcerated" Fielder-Civil is filing for divorce from the singer. 

"I can confirm that I have been instructed to commence divorce proceedings on the grounds of Amy's adultery," Henri Brandman, Blake's lawyer told People.com.

Wait -- adultery?

You mean to tell me that there is someone else who wants to sleep with Amy?

Apparently, there is. Amy has been spending the last few weeks in St. Lucia, palling around with some young rugby player.

Blake's mother, Georgette Civil, says she just can't wait for the couple's split to be official. "I am just so relieved it's going to be all over."

Yeah, that makes, I don't know, 8 million of us.

Trav blogged on his MySpace spage about his former love -- who rushed to his side after he was severely burned in that tragic plane crash -- and I didn't get the warm fuzzies from his words.

"Despite any rumors you might have heard via my EX-wife Shanna Moakler, who I have not seen since the week I checked in, I've been treated amazingly well, both here in LA and in Georgia," the drummer wrote. "The hospitals I've been treated at are THE BEST."

Notice how the "ex" is in all caps? Trav also said that he hadn't seen Shanna in over a week.

But we have. Shanna was seen out and about Saturday night, at the opening of Bardot nightclub in Hollywood. A source says Shan was getting her drink on, enjoying vodka and Redbull cocktails.

She must have finally gotten her priorities straight. Ugh.

Book club alert!

Lindsay Lohan's girlfriend, Samantha Ronson is rumored to be writing a book. Sources close to the DJ say that Sam is claiming the book is about her life -- but that nobody believes that for a second.

"Well, she's certainly telling friends she's planning to write a book," said a source close to the Sam and LiLo said. "It's supposed to be about her, allegedly. But come on, you know Lindsay will be all over that book. She's the only one people want to read about."

Very true, smart guy.

And just in case you haven't had enough of Michael Lohan's big mouth, here's what he thinks about the possibility of his daughter's constant companion's literary aspirations.

"I've shut up about this long enough," Michael ranted. "She's using my daughter. People never even knew who Samantha Ronson was until she met Lindsay. She was just some L.A. DJ. And now she's writing a book? I am at wit's end with this stuff. This is not in Lindsay's best interest."

Yes, nobody, other than him, is allowed to use Lindsay to further their celebrity, you hear?

Let's pause for a totally mindless interlude for a minute.

How many times have you watched The Hills and dreamed about punching Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt clear across the room? For me, it's at least 500 times -- per episode.

Now you can watch Heidi and Spencer beat the hell out of each other with Electronic Arts' "Facebreaker," a new Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 boxing game. My favorite new pastime includes action where "limbs contort, faces stretch and opponents go flying across the ring," according to MTV News.

The game hits stores Sept. 3 --  but we're pretty Lauren Conrad has already ordered her advance copy.

Aww, man -- and I thought they were back together!

The never-really-together-but-never-really-apart twosome of Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson have reportedly added two new characters into their, um, whatever it is they do.

Sources tell E! that both Tommy and Pam have new loves in their lives -- and they are quite interesting. You see, Pam is rumored to be dating, wait for it, royalty!! Yes, Pam is quietly dating a guy from the United Arab Emirates, who happens to be a member of Abu Dhabi's royal family, who she met when she visited Abu Dhabi in June with the Make a Wish Foundation. Which may have something to do with the fact that she is partnering with the royal family to build an ecofriendly hotel in the area.

Not to be outdone, Pam's former hubby, Motley Crue man Tommy Lee has got a treasure of his own. Insiders say that the drummer is hooking with Rock of Love 2 reject Daisy De La Hoya -- who obviously has a thing for '80s hair bands.

Do you remember Daisy? She was the blonde who made it to the final two, really good body with a really busted face. Ring a bell?

Just another bump in the road for Pam and Tommy, but I'm sure not even royalty and reality TV whores can keep them apart for long.

If how Mariah Carey looks on the new cover of Elle is any indication of how her life is going, then I definitely need a little Nick Cannon in my life.

Mimi says that she is feeling as good as she is looking -- and it's all because of the fabulosity that is her career rebirth and her brand new marriage to Nick.

“Most people would think, 'Okay, please! This doesn't happen in real life!'” she tells the mag. “When I was in an unhappy place in my life, I always wanted to be kidnapped. I just wanted a way out, but I didn't have one.”

Mariah, of course, is referring to her previous marriage to Tommy Mottola, who, the singer has said on numerous occasions, kept her more like a prisoner than a wife.

But Mariah finally got her happy ending (so far), when she and her prince, Nick, got together and he proposed, not once, but twice, complete with the "whisking away" Mims was so desperate for.

“He sort of kidnapped me and took me on a helicopter ride," she says. "Then he re-proposed.”

The first proposal had come on on the rooftop of her Manhattan apartment, where Nick popped the question with a 17-carat diamond hidden inside a candy ring pop.

“They've been calling me Cinderella since I first started out, so, of course, being Cinderella…” she laughs, adding, "We really kept the whole relationship aspect of it quiet,” Mariah says. “Therefore, we didn't really 'date,' you know what I mean? Because that would have been not quiet or private. I think we didn't want to give people a chance to be like, 'What are you doing? What are you talking about? This is so quick…are you sure?'”

I'm sorry, was Cinderella kidnapped? Did she get a ring pop? I must have had the other version. 

 

 

I know, I know. Why won't they just go away?

Heidi Montag is, once again, on the cover of the new Us Weekly (seriously, what does she have on Editor-in-Chief Janice Min?) and, this time, she's saying that she's "Ready to Say 'I Do'" to the terrible Spencer Pratt. There's no doubt that these two deserve each other, or as Heidi likes to spin it, they are "soulmates."

Anyway, the reason why I'm even bringing this to your attention is because of how hysterically funny the story is behind The Hills stars' re-engagement. Supposedly the couple went away together on a "secret" trip to Mexico, where Spencer was able to convince Heidi to marry him, after they read from the Bible together!

"Heidi read me biblical passages like 'Honor thy wife,'" Spencer told the mag.

Are you sure, Spence? Are you positive she didn't have a copy of Cosmopolitan pasted inside the cover of the Bible? And I wonder how many photographers were invited on this religious retreat. I just can't deal with these two.

Crazy Anne Heche is at it again. This time, the from-another-planet actress is claiming that she is hurting for cash. So much so, that she can no longer pay spousal and child support to her ex-husband, Coley Laffoon. Anne says that since her last television show, Men In Trees, was canceled, she is just scrounging to live.

"Since January 18, 2008, I have been unemployed and had no income from employment except for one very short-term contract for a movie role for which I received a total of $65,00, approximately the amount I received for one episode of Men In Trees," she wrote in court documents. "I do receive some residuals from previous acting work. However, the amounts are nominal and are offset by recurring business expenses that must be paid whether or not I am working."

Anne has been shelling out $14,798 in monthly support, plus private school tuition for her 6-year-old son Homer, the mortgage on her house in Canada where Men In Trees filmed, rent on her Los Angeles home and car expenses.

"I am continuing to look for work, but I have no offers pending and the impending strike by the Screen Actors Guild reduces my prospects for work even further," Anne's court documents said. 

Hmm. That's a tough one -- all those trips to planet Loony are costly. 

Wait -- I have an idea! Send your kid to public school, sell your house in Canada, rent a an inexpensive apartment in Los Angeles and take the bus. Problem solved.

Here's something you don't see everyday -- unless we're talking about Pamela Anderson.

Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn have called off their divorce! According to Extra, a court official confirms that the couple's divorce papers have been dismissed. Sean and Robin, who split in December after 11 years of marriage, were also seen together on Tuesday at an Eddie Vedder concert in San Francisco, where Sean jumped on stage and reportedly dedicated a song to his wife for her birthday.

Good for them for trying to make it work. I guess Robin doesn't care that Sean was parading around the Oscars with Petra Nemcova -- or maybe that's what pushed her to want him back. Very sneaky, Sean.

David and Victoria Beckham had a nice little date night after his soccer match against a French team (David's team lost). The posh couple enjoyed a late meal at the Baccarat museum's restaurant before heading back to the George V hotel.

They're not too hard on the eyes, huh?

This marriage between sex tape king Rick Salomon and Pamela Anderson was already such a joke -- now they are just making things worse.

You see, Pam filed for divorce after a big two months of wedded bliss, then changed her mind, then filed for an annulment, citing "fraud". Now Rick is hitting back with his own annulment papers -- and he's citing "fraud"!

Neither one has explained the reasoning behind the fraud claim (very reminiscent of the split between Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney, but with a higher ick factor), and I kind of don't even care. It's not like we thought these two would be celebrating their silver anniversary together.

One day after Madonna's rep released a statement saying that all is well in the Madge-Ritchie household, the Material Girl and her hubby, Guy Ritchie, stepped out in front of photographers, as they left Harry's bar in London.

So, what do you think? A show? A sham? Just a coincidence? 

It's Valentine's Day, kids, and let me say, right off the bat, that I love you. All of you. Even the haters.

That's right, I'm filled with love and you can't stop me. We are so quick to spread hate and venom, but so short on love. Not today -- I'm spreading love. Get on board, tell the people that mean the most to you how you feel. Whether it be your mom, dad, brother, sister, best friend, husband, wife, babysitter, teacher, butcher, hairstylist, mailman -- whoever. Spread the love. Spread it like butter.

Okay, back the world of celeb gossip. Ever wonder what makes certain celeb couples sizzle (hello, Brangelina), while others just completely fizzle out? Well, we did some digging, talked to some professionals, and found out the inside scoop on, let's just say, Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are scoring touchdowns in the boudoir, while Jess and John Mayer hit a sour note.

Check out Celebrity Chemistry Class now>>

You knew that this had to be a headline somewhere.

Star rag is saying that when Britney Spears and pap boyfriend Adnan Ghalib ran away to Mexico on a secret trip last month, they actually got married.

Star editor Candace Trunzo told the NY Daily News' Gatecrasher: "Our source on this was not in Rosarito Beach at the ceremony, but is very familiar with the fact that [wedding] documents exist."

Even if it did take place, the wedding would really mean nothing, considering Adnan is still married to his wife, AzLynn Berry, who just recently filed official separation papers

The mag also says that Britney gave Adnan $250,000 to get his current wife out of the picture a little more quickly, and told her lawyers that the cash was for her new Mercedes. 

What do you think? Did Britney and Adnan have a "spiritual" ceremony like Tracey Edmonds and Eddie Murphy? Look how well that turned out.

So, now Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon say they've talked it over and the divorce is off. They apparently had a huge fight last week, which led Pam to file a claim for dissolution of marriage. Now TMZ.com says that everything is back to being just perfect between the two crazies.

Pam just posted this quick note on her blog:

"P.S. We're working things out."

That's it for now, but I'm sure I'll be back to tell you that they're back off very soon. Perhaps before the end of the day.

The sexy pair have been living it up lately, as their three kids have been spending some time with their grandparents. Gotta love the grandparents -- they are saviors. Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz are staying with Anthony and Jacqueline Adams, Posh's parents, as she and David tour with the Spice Girls. Posh told Britain's The Sun that she and her hubby are partying it up.

"We've had two nights out, which have been really messy and we are loving it," Victoria admitted. "We are behaving like rock stars. We're having the time of our lives. It hasn't been like this for years — since before our first son was born."

Hence their night at a Vegas strip club.

Doesn't that sound fun, though? I wish my husband and I could hop on a jet, fly around the world and party "like rock stars", at least for a while.

The ever-so-hot David Beckham and his wife, Victoria, generated a little heat over the weekend, as sources say the marrieds had a little fun in a Vegas strip club.

According to the Las Vegas Review-Journal, Posh and Becks spent three hours in a private room at the Spearmint Rhino. Vicki's rep says they "did go to a strip club with a group of friends to celebrate one of the friend's birthday." The couple were in Sin City for a bunch of Spice Girls concerts -- and it certainly sounds like they spiced things up.

Sigh. I wish I was there.