Oh joy of joys!

Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt have found their way back to each other.

"They are definitely happy again," told Us Weekly exclusively.

The pretties broke up in June after being in love for four whole months.

On Monday, Doug Tweeted: "What an amazing weekend with my beautiful girlfriend. I love her so much!"

Gag!

It was, like, a second ago that Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt were talking about how they were going to get married and yada, yada, yada. Which is why it should come as no surprise to anyone that their almost-six-month-relationship is over.

Oh, except Doug.

You see, while Paris' people were confirming the split, Doug was still making plans for their anniversary.

"In response to the inquiry on whether Paris Hilton has split up with Doug Reinhardt, yes, this is true they are no longer together. They remain friends and ask that you please respect their privacy," a rep for the heiress told People.com.

At the same time, Doug was contacted by E! Online about the end of their romance, to which he insisted, "No, that's not true. Everything is OK between us."

Poor boy. Da Nile ain't just a river in Egypt.

Paris Hilton has had a new boyfriend for, like, ten minutes, so obviously there has to be some talk of her getting married.

The heiress gushed about her latest beau, Lauren Conrad ex Doug Reinhardt, at the Fragrance Foundation's FiFi Awards, telling People.com, "He makes me feel like I've never felt before. Everything he does is romantic. He's amazing and we're really happy. He's beautiful, he's smart, he's well-educated and he treats me like a princess. We're just very much alike."

That's sweet, but I'm pretty sure she said the same thing about Benji Madden.

Just as enamored, Doug said that he and Par have already talked about getting engaged.

"When it happens, it happens," he says. "We've talked about it and we're having fun right now."

The dude totally has stars in his eyes.

"We just connected right from the beginning," Doug said. "We actually started hanging out on Christmas day - our families both go to Aspen every year. We met randomly on Christmas and have pretty much been inseparable. She's an amazing girl and a great businesswoman. She's the sweetest, most humble, hardworking girl. I'm very proud of her." 

He even thinks she's funny!

"She's always making me laugh," he says. "She doesn't take herself too seriously and it's a great thing to be a part of."

They'll be broken up in a month -- or engaged -- then broken up.

It just doesn't get any dumber than this.

Check out this TMZ video of Paris Hilton, who says she's not worried about the swine flu breakout because she "doesn't eat that."

I was going to make the joke that, taking Paris' enlightened train of thought into consideration, vegetarians must not have to worry about chicken pox, but the sarcastic narrator on the video beat me to it.

Check it out.

After reports surfaced in the New York Daily News, that Audrina Patridge and Benji Madden have been hooking up for the past two weeks, The Hills star felt the need to take to her blog and clear the air of this nasty rumor.

"I'm getting a lot of calls today about a story that ran in a New York paper saying that I am now in a 'romantic' relationship with Benji Madden," Aud wrote. "I find it highly amusing, since I haven't seen him since December."

Yes, that is amusing. Highly.

"I think Benji is a sweetheart, and we're good friends, but we are definitely NOT dating!" she added.

That's code for "I'm so out of his league, bitches."

Benji gets around, man -- or at least in the gossip world he does. It was only December when Britney Spears' publicist had to deny that the pop star was dating the Good Charlotte rocker.

Hey, at least the women are hot.

--Photo by Getty Images--

"For five seasons I was stuck doing this character. It was kind of hard always having to play that character when it's not who I am. I just say jokes but they think I'm serious, which I think is funny, and I think I kind of play up the image sometimes because - whatever - it's just entertainment."

-- Paris Hilton, to the British morning show GMTV, on how her ditzy image is just that

 

Really, Paris? Then why do reality television, if you're not a dummy and are just playing one on TV?  

Or so she thinks.

"I think whoever did this, definitely has been there before," the heiress told E! News. "We have some suspects that I'm thinking of."

Just about $2 million worth of jewelry was swiped from Par's home, including "jewelry, watches, every ring I own. All my necklaces, jewelry that my grandmothers gave me that I'll never be able to replace.

"You know, it's just an invasion of privacy and it's happened to me before," she said. "It's really scary but they're doing a huge investigation on this and we're going to catch this person."

Police say that a man in a hooded sweatshirt and gloves forced his way into Paris' house through the front door.

"Obviously it's devastating and disturbing that someone was in my home," she said. But "we have three security guards there and a 24-hour guard who is always on my property. We have the alarm on, the dogs we have, the guards with the gun, so, no one is going to be coming into my house."

So, listen. If you are the one that took Paris' bling, she's got a message for you.

"I would tell them to please return my things, because I know that they're probably watching E! News right now, to return everything and that's it," she told us.

LOL, Paris! Always plugging something...

In Touch Weekly reported that Britney Spears had taken up with Benji Madden, and that the two were now an item. The rag claimed that Brit's dad, Jamie, and her manager, Larry Rudolph, have been trying to set her up with anyone and everyone, including Chace Crawford, Michael Phelps, Jesse Metcalfe and Benji.

"Larry made phone calls, and Benji ended up being the most interested in being fixed up," In Touch claims. "He plans to make a big, splashy announcement to help publicize her tour."

Unfortunately that doesn't even seem remotely true. As you know, Benji just broke up with Paris Hilton, and the couple still seem pretty cozy.

"The claims made by In Touch are completely false," a rep for Brit told E! News. "There is not an ounce of truth to any of it."

I actually think Benji would be good for Britney. You?

Someone broke in to Paris Hilton's house and snagged a whole bunch of the heiress' family jewels -- worth millions of dollars.

"At around 5 a.m. Friday, officers received a call from a security guard who reported that Paris Hilton's residence had been broken into," LAPD spokeswoman Julie Sohn told People.com. "According to detectives, a man wearing a hooded sweatshirt and gloves forced entry through the front door, ransacked her bedroom, took unknown property and fled."

Paris wasn't home at the time of the heist (naturally, is she ever?), but she reportedly lost $2 million bucks worth of bling. Though, as much as robbers suck, I'm sure she still has plenty of jewelry to go 'round.

Anyone that broke into my place would walk off with a whole lot of jewelry from Claire's -- worth at least $12.50.

Paris Hilton and Benji Madden's love story has reached its not-so-happy ending.

Star magazine reports that Paris ended things with Benji on Monday, after spending time with her ex Stavros Niarchos over the weekend. But Stav wasn't the main reason for the split -- Paris was feeling stifled by good guy Benji, calling him "too controlling."

"Paris was fed up with Benji always telling her what to do and bossing her around," a friend close to the couple (who dated for almost a year) told Star. "She couldn't take his overbearing ways anymore. It was stressing her out. He can be very aggressive and he was just too much trouble."

The source says that the split was not what Benji wanted at all. "He fought for a second chance and asked if they could talk it out but Paris said she was done talking."

In the end it seems Benji and Paris figured out what we all knew form the beginning -- they were way too different.

"They've had a lot of fights in the past," the insider blabbed. "She felt she couldn't cut loose and party. He doesn't drink and doesn't think she should either. She felt too fenced in."

You can't hold a good Paris down...unless, you know, you're video taping her....

Sources tell Star mag that the heiress was doing some major flirting with ex boyfriend Stavros Niarchos this weekend in Miami -- while Benji was nowhere to be found.

"Paris and Stavros were all over each other," the witness said. "They were at the same table for about an hour and then they left together. It didn't seem like Benji was on her mind at all!"

Paris was at the Victoria's Secret fashion show earlier in the night, then went off to party at The Fountainbleau hotel, before heading to Mokai where she met up with her old beau.

Check out the photo Star has of Paris and Stavros together -- Par is so giggling like a little school girl.

Uh-oh, Benji...

You know, I was the first person to be all like "Paris Hilton and Benji Madden are only dating because Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have a baby together" -- but I have to say -- they really have proved me wrong.

The heiress and the Good Charlotte rocker have been together nine months now (a record for Paris) and Benji is just gushing about how serious they are.

"It's very frustrating when you finally find yourself in a good relationship and people attack it," he said of rumors that he cheated on his girl. "I wear my feelings on my sleeve. I'm very open about how in love I am - Paris and I are very happy."

Benji says he's taking a cue on love from Johnny Cash and his longtime love June Carter Cash.

"I read this Johnny Cash book and it said they were never were apart for more than four or five days," Benji told People.com. "So when Paris and I started getting serious, I was like, 'We shouldn't be apart that much.' We try not to go longer than a week without at least seeing each other for a day or two. That's kind of our rule."

Benji went on to say the had plans to open a tattoo parlor in Beverly Hills, but when asked if he would be inking Paris with, let's say, an "I heart Benji" tat, he replied, "I hope not. I like her the way she is. She's perfect. She's the most beautiful woman in the world. She doesn't need to change one thing." 

Dare I say I hope these kids make it?

"My advice to Sarah Palin is, you've got a hot bod; don't keep it to yourself. Why wear a pantsuit when you can wear a swimsuit? Welcome to the Lower 48, girlfriend."

--- Paris Hilton gives fashion advice to Republican V.P. nominee and Alaska governor, Sarah Palin, in the new issue of Harper's Bazaar

Come on, now that's funny -- even for Paris.

According to some, just being the center of this annoying poster didn't fulfill Paris Hilton's obligation to her award-winning movie National Lampoon's Pledge This!

The film's distributor, Worldwide Entertainment Group, is suing Par Par for breach of contract, claiming that, after being paid $1 million to star in and promote the film in 2006 (I know, I'm shaking my head in disbelief, too), the heiress did not do her part. The film peeps want $75,000 in damages from Paris, for failing to provide "reasonable promotion and publicity" for the movie.

I'm not one to defend to Paris, but really? Failing to to provide publicity for a movie she starred in? Failing to provide publicity for herself? That's her life's work!

Good luck getting your cash, World Entertainment Group.

"I once heard someone say that I'm similar to Paris Hilton – since I have a dog and blonde hair, that must mean we're alike. It's a dumb thing to say. I dont think that makes Paris and me similar ... I don't go to clubs, I don't party, I don't dance on tables, and I don't like sex tapes."

--- Blake Lively, to the new issue of Seventeen, on who not to compare her with

Here's the picture that launched a thousand gasps.

Paris Hilton went out to dinner with a contestant from her new reality show Wednesday night, and she seemed to be carrying a little somethin' somethin' in the belly area. Her little green silky/satin nightie-dress-thingy looked like it was revealing, deep breath, a baby bump!

But, have no fear, though Paris and boyfriend Benji Madden constantly scream from the rooftops that they are in love and want to get married and have babies, the heir-head's rep says that our beloved P-Hilton is not with child. Her manager concurred, telling E! News the reports are "false."

Whew! Dodged that bullet for now, but I know it's just a matter of time.

Blech!

Benji Madden is killing me. The Good Charlotte rocker has done the unthinkable and has given Paris Hilton even more reason to think she's the greatest thing since sliced bread -- he's written her a song. And, no surprise, she's telling the world.

"He actually wrote me a beautiful song, and actually recorded it in the studio," Paris told People.com. "He surprised me with it. It's called, 'Shine Your Light.' It's this really beautiful love song about me. It was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me."

Let me tell you what I got out of  that sentence: "Actually, me, me, me, actually, me."

But, Paris continued to gush about how wonderful her boyfriend of two whole months is to her. "He's my best friend," she said. "He's just different from any guy that I've ever been with. I just trust him completely, and I know that he'd be there for me, no matter what."

So, is she already planning a spectacle of a wedding?

"I don't know," she smiled, "My life's a lot different now, I'm very much at peace, and I'm so happy, and in control, and so very excited about life."

There's no way Benji is coming out of this unscathed.

Joel Madden continues to be the new love of my life, as he surprised his honey, Nicole Richie, with a weekend getaway to one of her favorite places.

"[Nicole] hasn't been able to do a whole lot over the year, so we're having a little family trip," Joel told People.com.
"I [rented] a house and surprised Nicole with a weekend trip because she likes Coachella. She was like, 'I really want to go!' So I surprised her. We brought the baby."

The couple partied in Palm Springs at the music & arts festival, where performances by Prince, Jack Johnson and Roger Waters took place.

Also on hand? "So in love" Paris Hilton and Benji Madden, of course. When asked whether he or his brother would marry first, Joel said, "We're the family with the baby so I think probably us, but who knows."

I can't. Paris and Benji are really going to get married? I can NOT.

Is this really possible? Are Paris Hilton and Benji Madden really, seriously in love?

So says Mama, Kathy Hilton. Paris' mom told Vegas Luxe Life blog that her daughter and the Good Charlotte rocker are, indeed, super serious. "This has honestly become the real thing," Kathy said of Paris & Benji's relationship. "It's a great love match, and I have a funny feeling it's going to go all the way, and we've already given it our approval."

Rick Hilton agrees with his wife, adding that Benji is "the perfect example of 'don't judge a book by its cover.' He's polite, well mannered – even calls me sir. We love him like family already."

Paris is currently touring with Benji and the rest of the band and her mom says that Ben just might be the best thing that has ever happened to her daughter. "Their life has never been better," Kathy said. "We agree with Paris that he is an amazing guy... He's changed her life, and I really think she's genuinely in love for the first time."

It's just so hard for me to believe that Paris isn't dating him because he's Nicole Richie's boyfriend's brother, and because she's jealous of what Nicole has.

But, hey, who am I (besides a cynical celebrity blogger) to look down on love, right?

There's an item from today's New York Post's Page Six that made me giggle. It's all about the auditions for Paris Hilton's upcoming MTV reality show, Paris Hilton's My New BFF. A spy for the paper says that the lineup of potential candidates, who lined up outside New York's Nikki Beach, were quite the sight to see.

"It looked like Barbie threw up in there," was the statement used to describe the scene. "All the girls looked like versions of Donatella Versace. They all had bleached blond hair, too-dark tans and were wearing tight, shiny dresses."

Oh, you mean they all looked exactly like Paris.

"Like Barbie threw up" -- LOVE IT.

Barron Hilton, who was arrested for suspicion of DUI in February, has pleaded no contest to driving under the influence with a blood-alcohol level above the 0.08 percent legal limit and unlawful possession of a false license.

In exchange for his plea, Paris' little bro has been sentenced to three years' probation, $2,000 in fines (pocket change), he'll lose his license for one year, and he will have to attend three alcohol-education programs, one of which is a job at the L.A. County morgue -- just like Lindsay Lohan! 

How mad would Paris be if Barron and her arch-enemy Linds hooked up in the morgue? She'd totally want to kill them.

I'm still so confused about the timing of the Paris Hilton/Benji Madden hookup. Wasn't Benji engaged to Sophie Monk like a minute before he and Paris started parading around town together, wearing each other's initials on terrible rings?

Well, Paris, who is currently on tour with Benji, Nicole Richie's man Joel Madden, and the rest of Good Charlotte, is professing her love for the rocker on her MySpace Celebrity blog. The heiress is simply gushing about how fantastic and serious her new relationship is. Here's an excerpt from her most recent post"

Hey everyone!
Just wanted to check in and say hi! I’ve been on tour with my boyfriend for almost a month now. We’ve been everywhere from South Africa to all around Europe. It’s been so much fun! I’ve never felt so happy and in love, he’s such an amazing guy and life has never been better! It’s so much fun going to their shows every night, I now know every song by heart. I love Good Charlotte, they rock!! All the guys in the band are so cool and sweet and it’s been such an amazing and memorable experience."

Could Benji have seriously fallen in love again -- with Paris, for that matter -- so quickly after almost marrying someone else?  Could they possibly be the real deal? I can't even fathom.

Paris Hilton must really be into new boyfriend, Benji Madden, 'cause she's about to get on a tour bus with the guy, as Good Charlotte is hitting the road for an international tour.

"I'm just happy to be together, so no matter where we are, we'll have a great time," the heiress told People.com, at the opening of Benji and Joel Madden's new DCMA Collective store in Los Angeles.

So, what's Benji have to say about his new main squeeze?

"I'm a really easy guy to read. Everyone can tell I'm really happy," Ben said. "She's the most supportive [girlfriend], even as a friend, so supportive of everything I'm doing. And I try to be the same way for her."

Paris said that she and her man are heading to South Africa in a few days to kick off the tour. Raise your hand if you think Par Par will be stomp on Ben's heart when she hooks up with some blonde South African hottie.

Here's a sneak peek at Paris Hilton's guest spot on My Name is Earl. I know you can't possibly believe that a big-screen movie actress like Par Par would even consider being a supporting player in a sitcom, but she has. And the series creator has high hopes for her performance.

"When we wrote the role of Paris Hilton in the script, we weren't exactly sure who to go with for the role," Greg Garcia said. "But after an exhausting search we finally settled on a relatively unknown actress by the name of Paris Hilton. I can't wait to see what she does with the role and I can't wait for America to discover her."

The episode airs on April 3.  

Yes, that ring on Paris Hilton's finger does showcase the initials "BM" in diamonds -- not standing for "bowel movement", which is seems to have caused at my place -- but for her new love, Benji Madden, who is, no doubt, "The One."

Blech!

"Let me make this as plain as possible – Benji did not leave me for Paris Hilton," Sophie said in a statement, according to Australia's Herald Sun. "Benji and I did not break up badly or anything like that. We both decided, as adults, our relationship had run its course and decided to move on. I feel no animosity towards Benji and Paris at all and am very happy with life at the moment."

Womp, womp -- taking the high road. Good for her and all, but I wish she would have said what she really thinks.

To make matters worse, Paris is flaunting a new ring on her engagement finger. I just can't.