In my head I vowed to stop picking on Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, after seeing Tom's interview on Oprah last week. I thought I'd give the guy a break, considering I got the feeling that the sometimes-loopy actor really does love his family and is looking out for their best interest. But then I come across a photo like this -- it's Tom, Katie, Suri and Brooklyn Beckham, at David Beckham's soccer match on Saturday.

Doesn't it look like a poster for the Movie of the Week? The way Tom is clutching Suri and the serious but clueless look on Katie's face. The movie could be called, What She Didn't Know -- or something creepy like that.

Okay, I'm done. Really. For now. 

"[It] was a moment, and it was real. I just felt that way, and I feel that way about her," he continues. "I can't even articulate it, to be honest. That feeling, that connection. Just who she is and what she means to me."

-- Tom Cruise, to Oprah Winfrey in an interview that airs on Friday, on why Katie Holmes' love made him jump like a maniac on the talk show queen's couch three years ago

Yes, she does, says E! Online's Mark Malkin, who reports that Oprah told her Las Vegas audience, this past weekend, all about the upcoming interview with the former couch-jumping freak. Ops revealed that she talks to Tom about Scientology, his fight with Matt Lauer on the Today show, and how Tom feels now about mucking up the furniture on Oprah's set three years ago.

The first part of the two-part interview with Tom, which airs on May 2, takes place at his home in Telluride, Colorado -- and he even takes Ops for a ride on a snowmobile! Part two, airing on May 5, is back in the Chicago studio.

Setting my DVR now...

Tom will be returning Oprah's show for the first time since he acted liked a loony Mexican jumping bean in 2005, professing his love for Katie Holmes and dragging his then-girlfriend out on stage.

The show will air in two parts for May sweeps, and is centered around Tom's 25 years in the movie business -- that would be how long it has been since he danced in his underwear in Risky Business.

(Side note: Makes me feel so old)

One part of the highly-anticipated interview will be shot in Op's regular studio before a live audience. The other, will have Oprah traveling to Tom's Telluride home.

Fingers crossed that Oprah wears her moon shoes and jumps on some of TomKat's furniture.

Suri Cruise

Suri's parents, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes went all out for their baby's b-day, reportedly spending over $100,000 on an afternoon party for family and friends.

So, what does that kind of money buy a kid who was born in 2006? A butterfly-themed bash for Suri, who loves the little buggers, at a private home in the Hollywood Hills adorned with $17,000 in fresh flowers. Also on hand: $5000 worth of cakes from LA's Sweet Lady Jane bakery -- every guest get their own personalized cake -- the birthday cake, which was four-tiered with white buttercream icing and -- you guessed it -- sugar-paste bumblebees and butterflies! And for mama Katie, who is a cupcake-loving fool, $230 worth of cupcakes from LA bakery Sprinkles.

In related news, Suri hasn't slept in 5 days.

"It was a great party," one attendee said. "Suri was in a really great mood and loved having all the balloons around.” 

Um, my son's party at Party Gym was really good, too. We gave out candy bags.

Yes, it is a little curious considering Tom and Will are BFFs, but sources say that Connor had to audition for the role -- which is a younger version of Will's character.

"Tom is so proud of Connor," says a source. "He's proud of him for really doing this on his own."

For his first time out, Connor is in decent company in the flick, which also stars Woody Harrelson and Rosario Dawson.

I tend to be skeptical when mega movie star's kids get roles in films, but Will and Jada's little one, Jayden, had a big role in dad's The Pursuit of Happiness and rocked it. Maybe Connor is just as good?

In Touch

The mag reports that TomKat were planning a "trial separation" and that Kate was going to take Suri and move to New York. One insider said, "Of course Katie still loves him (Tom), but she does often feel like the little wife that has to sit there quietly and smile serenely at everything he says."

Reps for Tom and Katie call the story "absolutely false" and say that the couple, who will be married three years in November, are super happy. "[Katie] and her husband enjoy a close and loving relationship."

Your thoughts?

Nicole Kidman

What does one get for that kind of scratch? Well, the Kidman-Urban 5,600 square foot abode has five bedrooms, is located at the end of a cul-de-sac, features rolling lawns, boasts koi ponds and city views. Not to shabby, huh?

And the best part (I guess) is that the couple's new digs are just a hop, skip, and a jump from Nic's ex-husband's place. Yup, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes live right down the block, so Tom and Nicole's kids, Connor and Isabella, won't have far too far to travel when they want to see their new baby sibling. 

Just one big happy family.

UPDATE: Nicole's rep told Access Hollywood that reports of the couple buying this new home in Brentwood are "completely false."

Oh, well. Easy come, easy go.

It was Daddy's Day Out for Tom Cruise and daughter Suri, who spent some time in a Los Angeles park.

Doesn't she have any play clothes? Why is she wearing her Sunday best to get dirty in the sand box? Slap on a sweatshirt and hit the swings, kid.

According to the NY Daily News, Tom Cruise's lawyers are not happy about the fact that there is a type of medical marijuana being marketed as "Tom Cruise Purple." The bud is being sold by licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California, and comes in vials featuring a picture of Tom laughing hysterically. Tom, as you know, is a Scientologist, and is opposed to the use of psychotropic drugs.

But, those who are puffing it have no complaints. One smoked up client said, "I heard it's the kind of pot that makes you hallucinate."

Love it!

So, Katie Holmes has cut her hair again! She needs to stop -- she could almost pass for freakin' Dorothy Hamill, circa 1976.

But, what do you think of Kate's new cut? I guess you can figure out how I feel.

According to London's Daily Mail, Katie is "in final negotiations" to make her Broadway debut in a revival of All My Sons, an Arthur Miller play set in post-World War II. The actress, who has never been in a professional stage production, would play a woman who visits the family of her former lover, a missing pilot.

A rep for Kate told People.com that she is in discussions, but that "nothing is set." If Katie does get this role, she'll be performing six nights a week.

I don't know -- what will Tom say?

Also, do you think Katie has the acting chops to pull of this emotional role, live, on Broadway? Do tell.

The new issue of Star hits newsstands today, and on the cover is the big headline, "Sick Katie Collapses!"

So, what's the story? Well, sources tell the tabloid that Katie Holmes is finally breaking down from the pressure of being Mrs. Tom Cruise. They say she is experiencing dizzy spells, headaches, and is losing weight.

"Katie doesn't get enough sleep — and hasn't for months now," says one insider. "She's tired and drained much of the day because Tom is so wired, and they stay awake until after midnight. He has boundless energy, and she just can't compete."

Tom has also put Katie in charge of renovating their new home -- which the mag says has to be just right. "Katie is overseeing the interior design of their lavish $35 million Beverly Hills mansion. "To him, the home is a status symbol," says a source, "so it's on Katie's shoulders to pull off something beyond magnificent, something Tom can brag about. She's giving herself headaches thinking about it and making herself sick."

Who knows the truth when it comes these two. Tom does act creepy and crazy, and Katie does look like a robot half the time, but maybe she's happy being his Stepford wife? Maybe she's pregnant with the sequel to Suri and that's why she's fainting. TomKat will always be an enigma to me. I just want my Joey Potter back.

"You don't have to be Jewish to be a friend of Steven Spielberg. You don't have to be a Muslim to be a friend of Muhammad Ali. And you don't have to be a Scientologist to be a friend of Tom Cruise. I am a Christian. I am a student of all religions. And I respect all people and all paths."

-- Will Smith, to the New York Daily News, about Tom Cruise sucking him into the vortex

Here's a table picture from my wedding. Not.

Will Smith and Jade Pinkett-Smith got cozy with their best pals, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, at the first ever Essence Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon.

Yeah, it's all casual and cool being them. Just like any other day in the life of a normal person. I wonder if they had to check off what they wanted to eat on the response card. 

Hey Tom, will Katie be having the filet mignon or the chicken? 

The reviews are in on Katie Holmes' performance in her new flick, Mad Money, which opens today, and they're not exactly stellar, to say the least.

"And the cinematic comeback of the year award goes to…somebody other than Katie Holmes,” says a New York Post critic, who calls her return to movies since giving birth to baby Suri, “the most cringe-making return since Love Boat: The Next Wave."

Ouch.

The critic goes on to say, “Holmes, with Alice Cooper hair and crazy Jim Carrey eyes, looks terrible and acts worse, unless this movie is unintentionally a lobotomy documentary. Whatever could have happened to her in the last couple of years to zap the talent out of her like this?”

Variety and the Wall Street Journal didn't have very nice things to say about Katie's acting either. Now, I don't claim to have a library of Katie Holmes movies in my home collection, and I will admit that my extent of watching her perform is limited to her time on Dawson's Creek, but I certainly don't remember her being that awful.

Could it possibly be that Katie is getting thrown under the bus because of who she's married to? Or could Tom Cruise have actually sucked the talent out of her? I don't know, but I'm curious to see if I think she's really that bad.

My husband and I are actually getting a rare opportunity to see a movie -- in a theater -- this weekend (that never happens!), but, to be honest, we won't be wasting it on Mad Money. I'm dying to see Juno. Sorry, Katie.

Lucky Victoria Beckham is the chosen model for Marc Jacobs' upcoming Spring/Summer 2008 campaign ads and my question is, "Whose concept was this?"

On another note, Posh has been hanging out with Tom Cruise way too much since moving to the states, because Mrs. B is looking more like an alien than ever. She should really not eat or drink anything when she's over at their house, hanging with Katie Holmes. I'm pretty sure there's something weird in the water.

At the premiere for her new movie, Mad Money, Katie gushed about the news of hubby Tom Cruise's ex-wife, Nicole Kidman's pregnancy. "I'm so happy for her," Katie said. "It's wonderful."

Tom, the ever-supportive man, let Katie have her moment on the red carpet, making himself scarce to reporters and chatting with fans across the street. Kate says everything is just fabulous in the life of this Kat, and that making this new flick was so great because she wasn't away from her man for too long.

"Having [20-month-old daughter] Suri and Tom [on set] was wonderful," she beamed. "You think you love to do something and then you have the people you love there. It makes it a billion times better and you didn't realize you were missing that before. It's like 'Oh my God, life can be this good.'"

I don't know, the machines in I Robot weren't this cheery, but Katie's giving me that Small Wonder feeling again.

Attending the festivities without hubby Tom Cruise, Katie shined in the spotlight, looking absolutely stunning. I think that toga-type dress would look pretty terrible on your average person, but with Katie's buff arms, tan bod and all that glowy skin, girl looks hot!

You like?

Katie Holmes tell the new issue of Parade that hubby Tom Cruise's kids with Nicole Kidman call her "mom". Now, normally I wouldn't really see a problem with that -- it's actually sort of sweet -- except for the fact that Nicole just recently gave an interview in which she says that Connor and Isabella don't even call her mom.

“My kids don’t call me mommy, they don’t even call me mom. They call me Nicole, which I hate and tell them off for it," Nic told the UK's GMTV.

So, why the heck are they calling Tom's new chippy wife "mumsy"? It's not like Katie raised them -- she's only been around a couple of years. That just doesn't seem right now, does it?

Nicole needs to give those kids a talking to.

Inside, Katie absolutely gushes about being married to Tom Cruise, and all it means to her. She says falling for Tom was a whirlwind. "It happened quickly, but I was certain it was what I wanted," Suri's mom says. "I never felt overwhelmed. I thought, Okay, good. Here we go." And the connection, she says, was immediate. "It happened in an instant," she says of falling in love. "I still get like that, 'Whew.' When you fall in love, it's as though time stops. It's all-encompassing."

Katie says that she does her best to express to Tom how much he's given to her. "I try every day to let him know how much I love him. It gets better and better. It has made my life."

She certainly sounds like a woman head-over-heels in love. I remember hearing somewhere that when Katie was growing up, way before she was a star, she had the biggest crush on Tom (who didn't?) and hoped one day she would marry him. Talk about dreams coming true.

Coming in right behind B&A is TomKat's, Tom Cruise and "Kate" Holmes.

Hmmm.... Not so much.

Anyway, for more of Us Weekly's Best & Worst of 2007 -- including my favorite -- the Top 10 Meltdowns, hurry, hurry, hurry to your local magazine pusher now!

It's so creepy that Katie now refers to herself as "Kate", because that's what Tom calls her. And those other names? Those are Tom and Nicole Kidman's adopted kids -- who we never see.

Anyway, I'm going to print this out and hang it on my wall with all my other cards -- just to see who notices.

“When I sit and I talk with Tom Cruise, he is one of the greatest spirits that I’ve ever met – someone who is committed to making the world better. You have people [that] are attacking and wanna fight that don’t know nothing — how you gonna not know nothing about Scientology and attack somebody? It’s dangerous and it’s ignorant. How can I condemn someone for what they believe and I believe that God was born from a pregnant virgin?”

-- Will Smith, to Access Hollywood, on good buddy Tom Cruise's beliefs in Scientology

I don't care about Tom, but Will can come to my defense any day. He's my honey.

I was actually just wondering where Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's adopted kids, Connor and Isabella, are. We sometimes see Tom and Katie Holmes at one of their soccer games, but that's rare, and I can't remember the last time I saw Nicole with them.

Maybe that's why Nicole told the UK’s GMTV, “My kids don’t call me mommy, they don’t even call me mom. They call me Nicole, which I hate and tell them off for it."

The actress, who recently bought land to build on in Tennessee, with country crooner hubby Keith Urban, also says that her kids don't particularly love the idea. “When children are teenagers, they have a say in where they want to be," she said. "Los Angeles is a big draw, and I’m looking to get a place there so we can share more,” she says.

That would be nice. But, it doesn't look like that's happening right away. Nicole has said that she's planning on hitting the road with Keith, on his upcoming tour, because she just can't stand to be away from him. "I'm just not willing to give up my life with my man anymore."

Okay, so if Nicole's on the road with Keith, and Tom, Katie and Suri are traveling all over the world, who is taking care of the kids? Nannies? All the time? That makes me mad.

Mrs. Tom Cruise debuted her new hairdo -- a sleek bob with heavy bangs -- at the Bambi awards in Germany last night.

So, what do you think? Is Katie's new 'do and do or a don't? Tell me.

According to the newly-reunited group's website, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes brought Suri to a surprise appearance at a recent rehearsal.

"Tom and Katie enjoyed an impromptu audience with the girls and were treated to an exclusive performance, while Suri danced along to the music."

What a privileged little soul!

Victoria "Posh" Beckham said, "David and I are great friends with Tom and Katie. It was lovely of them to come down to rehearsals, a really nice surprise. Katie has told me before that she used to be a big Spice fan so it was great for her to meet the other girls.”

You know Tom wanted to go for himself, but disguised it as a treat for Suri. It's cool, Tom, we all loved that "If You Wanna Be My Lover" song. Be proud of your love for the girls!

Remember the Tom Cruise of old? Top Gun, Days of Thunder, A Few Good Men, Born on the Fourth of July, Jerry Maguire -- classics. Tom was movie gold.

Now, it seems, the gold has tarnished a bit. Tom's new flick, Lions for Lambs, a political thriller, tanked at the box office this weekend, getting smoked by Jerry Seinfeld's The Bee Movie, which was released last week. But Tom's movie didn't even come in second, it ranked fourth, taking in only $6.7 million. Not exactly staggering for a new movie.

Maybe Tom should consider making Jerry Maguire 2 -- in effort to get us all back to the time when he had us at hello.

Tom must be doing something right, because Katie looked absolutely stunning last night, at Cipriani in NYC, for the Moving Image Black Tie Salute, honoring her hubby. Katie's dress, hair and makeup were just perfect and she really did look like she was glowing. Tom kissed Katie's hand for the cameras, and the pair looked blissfully in love.

Congrats to Tom for the award, and for having Katie on his arm.

Happy, now?

While Tom awaited his wife's arrival in the banquet tent in Central Park, he told People.com that he was "very" proud of Kate, and that "she trained for three months."

After the race, back at their hotel, Katie admitted, "I'm good, but I'm feeling very tired."

No doubt, she accomplished quite a feat, but that training will come in handy when she decides to run away from Tom.