"I think people see the cliché of the Rock Star. We're supposed to get married every three years ... trade in, trade out – I don't dare say 'trade up.' I made a good deal the first time. If Angelina Jolie came in today, I wouldn't trade."

--- my love, Jon Bon Jovi, to Parade magazine, about his 18-year-and-still-going-strong-marriage to wife, Dorothea

Britney Spears was thisclose to putting the final nail in the coffin that was her marriage to Kevin Federline, but now Kev is resisting signing the final divorce papers. K-Fed says that, due to Britney's recent party girl behavior, he may want to revise their custody agreement before settling.

Under an agreement the couple reached in March, Britney and Kev planned to continue their interim arrangement of joint legal and physical custody of Sean and Jayden.

"Britney's attorneys are anxious to see Kevin sign off on a divorce," a source told PEOPLE. "But Kevin and his lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan are dragging their heels out of concern over reports of Britney's post-rehab partying."

Kevin's peeps also "wants to make sure that the divorce document makes it simple enough for Kevin to downsize Britney's access to her kids the next time her behavior troubles him."

Can you say "I suddenly think I need a tad more cash?"

Fresh from the Glastonbury festival, Lily Allen was formally arrested yesterday after turning herself into police. The singer had her photo taken and gave a DNA sample in the West End of London. Police said, "She was arrested in connection with an allegation of assault and bailed to return in July."

The singer had previously been questioned by authorities about an incident where she allegedly karate kicked a paparazzi photographer outside a nightclub in March. The celebrity snapper complained to police that Lily "went berserk."

I would have loved to see Lily doing some Judo moves! Now why didn't someone get a picture of that?

Taking a page from the Isaiah Washington book How to Burn All Your Bridges, Rescue Me's just-axed co-star, Jack Magee, is blowing some major hot air, directed at the show's main man and Executive Producer, Denis Leary.

Jack, who plays was Chief Jerry Reilly on the firefighter drama, was (SPOILER ALERT) killed off on this week's episode and is, ahem, steaming mad. The actor says, not only should he have been kept on the show, but that Denis was a wimp for not telling him the fate of his character.

"That would take a real man to do that. Denis doesn't know how to do that," Jack whined to televisionwithoutpity.com. "His persona would make you think he's straight-up, he's honest and he's forthright. But I never got an indication of that. The truth is, if he knocked on my door right now, I'd be able to look him right in the eye. I don't know if he could do that. He's a bully. Bullies most of the time don't have the guts to do things themselves."

Waaaah, waaaah, waaaah. I hear Isaiah's looking for a friend in the biz, Jack. Give him a ring.

I love this Nylon cover of Nicole Richie. She doesn't look half bad, due to the oversized shirt that is hiding her skeleton-like-possibly-pregnant-figure, and I kind of love that she cops to not knowing why anyone even cares about what she does, where she goes, or who she dates. Here are some quote-worthy excerpts from her interview:

On her celebrity:“I don’t have a clue why I’m famous. I didn’t make myself famous… You’re doing it. I think people just want to say, ‘Oh, she doesn’t have a job she doesn’t do anything.’ They get off on that. But I do have a job, like everyone else.”

On her past heroin use: “When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crackhead with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes.”

On being a role model: “I don’t walk around pretending that I’m perfect, so I don’t think anyone should hold me to that. The dangerous thing is that there are 16 -, 17 -, 18 –year-olds that people consider to be role models. I’m so happy I wasn’t famous back then… You’d think I was the f****** devil.”

I'm so using that "I was never under a bridge" defense the next time somebody calls me a crackhead.

Source: Just Jared

Watch this video of Paris Hilton allegedy gettin' her smoke on with a friend in Amsterdam, then ponder this exchange from last night's interview with Larry King:

Larry: "Ever taken drugs?"

Paris: "No."

Discuss.

For more on Paris' fib-filled chat with Larry, check out my girl Lindsey's take at TV Cocktail

Here's the deal: When a British Prime Minister resigns he gets to make a list of people who he thinks should be knighted or granted ladyships. The Queen has the final say.

So my guess is that Tony Blair and the Queen had been partying a tad bit too hard at his going away bash when they decided it would be a hoot to deem Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham a Lady.

That's right. An official Lady.

Cindy Adams of the New York Post is whispering that David Beckham's "If I smile my face might break" wife will soon be granted that coveted title. An insider had this to say:

"Now she'll be even more impossible."

I'd like to think this was all a big joke by Tony and the Queen -- their way of showing the common folk that they have a sense of humor.

Lord knows it is hysterical -- and the only way Posh was ever going to be referred to as a lady.

Finally confirming rumors of a pregnancy, sexy singer Usher and his fiance, Tameka Foster, told the NY Daily News that they are expecting a new little dancer this winter.

"We are extremely excited at this point in our lives, planning our wedding and the joy that comes with expecting our first child together," the couple said.

The newspaper outed the pregnancy in April, but there was a not-so-happy spin on the story. Sources were buzzing that the bun in Tameka's oven wasn't baked with Usher's seeds, if you catch my drift. Of course, Tameka dismissed that talk as complete nonsense. 'Cause that's never happened before.

Anyway, as Usher and his lady are set to moonwalk their way into parental bliss, I offer to make a toast on their behalf:

A new baby opens so many doors
Let's just hope that kid is yours
Salud!

Instead they've replaced lots of stories about one big baby with a cover story on lots of little babies. It's Us Weekly's tribute to the itty bitties of Hollywood! The tiny celebrities that made the cover? TomKat's kitten, Suri Cruise, Ms. "Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful" Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, "I might as well take care of myself" Sean Preston Federline, and Tiger Woods' new cub, Sam Alexis.

Pick it up today and "awww" all you want -- without an "ick" of Paris.

Fear not, Britney Spears lovers! She will continue to be in the very safe and very stable eye line of her former husband Kevin Federline.

Think you're in bizarro world? I know all about it. But, according to Us Weekly, Kev is telling friends that he's still worried about his former love and plans to keep a watchful eye over her.

“He thinks she’s mentally unstable and too young to be a mom,” a source close to he aspiring rapper told the mag. K-Fed supposedly feels that he's the better parent of the two and “expects full custody of his children one day.”

Meanwhile, while Kevin and Britney are still sharing custody of Sean and Jayden, and are awaiting the finalization of their divorce, Kevin will try and be a man and do what's in the best interest of his boys.

“He loves his kids and, to that extent, he will look after Britney,” a friend of Kevin's said.

I gotta think that Kevin dances a jig every time Britney does something stupid (which is like every day -- have you seen her clothes lately?). I'm sure he never imagined that she could make him look so stellar.

An incomprehensible tragedy.

WWE wrestler Chris Benoit is said to have asphyxiated his wife Nancy and their 7-year-old son Daniel before hanging himself over the weekend.

The three were found dead inside the family's secluded Fayetteville, Georgia, home on Monday. Sheriff's Department's Lt. Tommy Pope said, at a press conference outside the Benoit home on Tuesday, that legal prescription medicines, which included steroids, were found inside the house. A toxicology report is due within three weeks, but insiders are speculating that Chris acted out in a case of "roid rage."

Before knowing the details surrounding the wrestler's death, the WWE canceled its live Monday Night RAW, and USA Network aired a three-hour tribute to Benoit in lieu of the scheduled wrestling telecast. Now that the details of this unspeakable crime have come to light, WWE President Vince McMahon made this televised statement:

"Last night on Monday Night Raw, the WWE presented a special tribute show, recognizing the career of Chris Benoit. However, now some 26 hours later, the facts of this horrific tragedy are now apparent. Therefore, other than my comments, there will be no mention of Mr. Benoit tonight. On the contrary, tonight's show will be dedicated to everyone who has been affected by this terrible incident. This evening marks the first step of the healing process. Tonight, the WWE performers will do what they do better than anyone else in the world -- entertain you."

So sad.

Making the world a better place will just have to wait -- Paris Hilton has her priorities, people!

The sprung-from-the-can heiress called in a team of beauty experts, presumably to rid her all of that dirty jail crud that must have caked up on her for the last 23 days. First on the list? New hair extensions!

"Full length, 20 inches of extensions....blonde, of course," a rep for DreamCatchers Hair Extensions told The Insider.

Obviously Paris wants to look her best when she screws Barbara Walters and talks to Larry King on Wednesday night. I can't wait to hear about Paris' plans to improve our crazy world. Perhaps she's thinking hair extensions are just what the doctor ordered for our out-of-control land? It would certainly help the likes of one desperate woman in need. Right, Britney?

Another day, another anti-war statement from Rosie O' Donnell.

Ro has been vocal, to say the least, about her disgust for the war in Iraq and her views on gun control, but her latest shocking move has evoked some major reactions from fans of her website.

A photo of Rosie's daughter Vivienne was posted yesterday, in which the four-year-old girl is draped with an ammunition belt. The picture is published under a blog entry on rosie.com titled “a picture is worth a thousand posts," with no further explanation. Presumably the photo is a political statement reflecting Ro's feeling's about war and guns destroying the lives of children around the world.

Some fans of the site were supportive of Rosie's extreme message, while others were either outraged or confused by it.

Sandy wrote:
"Ro The latest photo of Vivi is brilliant and disturbing. Sickening to know that this is reality for thousands of children around the world. Sometimes sister-friend, you break my heart. Thank you xox"

Amanda wrote:
"Are you kidding me with that pic of your daughter? Why would you do that?"

Jon E. wrote:
"Not sure of the “message” you are trying to send with that pic of Viv, but I guarantee many are not going to get it… Children with bullets, even fake…?? what are u thinking?"

Freedom of speech is a right we are blessed with as Americans, but I question the fact that Ro used her daughter like this. I'm pretty sure Vivi doesn't know the meaning of the bullets she was wearing around her body. I mean, she probably thought this was just another game of dress-up! I'm sorry, but it's kind of creepy to me. I'm all for speaking your mind, but, when you use your children as an accessory to your agenda, it crosses the line.

The locations and dates have been announced for the latest crop of American Idol auditions. Think you're the next Jordan Sparks? Does your beatboxing talent put Blake Lewis to shame? Do you want impress that rascally Simon Cowell so much that he falls in love with you and sweeps you off your feet (oops, that's just my fantasy!)? Here's the info you need to make all your pop star dreams come true!

San Diego: July 30 at Qualcomm Stadium
Dallas: Aug. 6 at Texas Stadium
Omaha: Aug. 10 at Qwest Center
Atlanta: Aug. 14 at a location to be announced
Charleston, SC: Aug. 18 at N. Charleston Coliseum
Miami: Aug. 22 at AmericanAirlines Arena
Philadelphia: Aug. 27 at Wachovia Center

Note that there are no New York City or Los Angeles dates set this year, so you big-city hopefuls need to get in your cars and drive towards your destiny! Good luck!

See for yourself the media zoo that was Paris Hilton's release from jail early this morning. When you listen to the commentary by the news reporter doesn't it sound like he's announcing a horse race?

Have you gotten hit on by Zach Braff in the last few months? Probably.

Reports have been everywhere that the Scrubs star has been trying to romance half of New York this summer, as he vacations from filming his hit show. Zach been single since his high-profile romance with cutie-patootie Mandy Moore ended last June. Since then the looker had reportedly tried -- and failed -- to hook up with other Hollywood hotties like Drew Barrymore and John Mayer's ex Jessica Simpson.

But Zach is fighting back against the stories that he's like a dog in heat. On his myspace blog, the ladies man insists he's just your average Joe:

"I'm not sure when or why the tabloid angle on me was decided that I am a cad. I would have much rather it had been that I am secretly a dentist or that I love soup. I am in fact, merely doing what every other single 32 year old man in NYC is doing this summer. I am dating. If you must read that stuff, please don't digest it as fact. It is probably one of the only real sh*tty things one has to get used to when living in the public eye, but I suppose one of the benefits of this blog is that you can hear it directly from me. I haven't had a vacation in 6 years and so I decided to take June and July off. I am having the best summer of my life! I am so happy here! I'm hanging out with my New York friends, my Jersey boys, my family and loving every single second of it. And yes; I am dating. When we shoot Scrubs I spend every waking hour of my life in an abandoned and haunted hospital. All I can date there are ghosts and they tend to be horrible snugglers. So anyway, blah, blah, blah. Don't believe the hype."

So, if you're looking to hook a hot , funny T.V. star, and you fancy yourself a good snuggler, put on your sexiest dress and head to the clubs in NYC to find the very-available Zach --- just don't mention that you've read on the Daily Blabber that he's been dissed by a lot of ladies.

What is with Justin Timberlake these days?

The pop star, who used to used have a squeaky clean Mickey Mouse Club image, has been throwing his bad attitude all around lately.

Justin hanging with his girl, Jessica Biel --- who obviously didn't read the article where Justin said he didn't want her joining him on tour --- in Stockholm on Sunday, when he got all snarky with some of his Swedish fans. Mr. SexyBack was reportedly rude to his devoted followers, after they asked him for autographs and photos.

"You want me to juggle also?" he supposedly snapped at one eager beaver.

This boy's ego has gotten way out of hand. Justin is in major need of a reality check or else his head is going to explode. And then he won't even be pretty anymore.

Paris Hilton may be back walking the streets, but Lindsay Lohan will continue to rid herself of toxins in a rehab facility.

Lindsay, who checked in to Promises in Malibu. after crashing her car and getting arrested for DUI (cops also found a cocaine-like substance in the vehicle), was scheduled for release next week. But her mom, Dina Lohan, says Linds would like to get a bit more rest before heading back into the real world.

"She's going to be doing extended care. It was her choice," Dina said. "She's doing great."

Original big-party-Las-Vegas plans for Lindsay's 21st birthday on July 2nd were scrapped and now she plans to celebrate at a small "no alcohol" gathering with her family.

There's no word on how much longer Linds plans to stay at Promises but Dina's security guard/publicist, Ty Dux, insists that, when LiLo does fly the coop, she'll be in tip-top shape.

"Lindsay is looking to rebound even better. She wants to prove to everybody that she means it."

If Lindsay and Paris both become upstanding citizens who will emerge as Hollywood's next giant screw up? Guesses?

It's finally over.

Paris Hilton was released from jail at 12:15 AM Tuesday. She sauntered out of the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood -- amidst hundreds of paparazzi that and had lined up hours before --- and jumped into her mother's arms.

The Hilton's then sped off in their SUV back to the their Bel Air mansion, where Paris reveled in the comforts of her parent's home. The heiress ran around the backyard with her dog and, more than likely, sprinkled her king-size mattress with hundred dollars bills and rolled around in them.

Now there's so many questions to be answered: Has Paris really changed? What will she do with all of the knowledge she's gained by sitting in the slammer for 23 days? Will she ever wear orange again?

Weigh in!

More:

"They say milk does a body a good but, damn girl, how much milk you drinkin'?!"

Sara's not your typical lollipop head --- this sexy lady has curves that would make Marilyn Monroe jealous --- and she knows how to use them. Ms. Ramirez dons the famous "Got Milk" moustache in their newest campaign, while the copy reads:

"Great anatomy. In show business your figure, well, shows. That’s why I drink milk. Studies suggest the nutrients in milk can play an important role in maintaining a healthy weight. Staying active, eating right, and drinking 24 ounces of lowfat or fat free milk a day helps you look your best. Bravo.”

Bravo to you, Sara. You look yummy.

Source: Just Jared

Thems be fightin' words, Barbara!

Paris Hilton will be spilling her guts to Larry King -- instead of Barbara Walters --- when she gets released from jail on Tuesday. And Barbara wouldn't have it any other way. Babs told the New York Post's Cindy Adams that, though she was prepared to talk to the heiress, she felt that snagging the first post-clink interview was not up to her standards of journalism.

"Look, I've done prison interviews before, but people like the Menendez Brothers were really important news stories," Babs said. "This wasn't. And even though I'd already written my questions, when all that pay-for-play stuff happened, I suddenly felt this was not up to my standard. It . . . felt . . . sort of . . . tawdry. The whole thing somehow was beneath me. Besides, it was a no-win. If I did a tough piece and her tears started to flow, it would be, 'Oh, there's Barbara Walters making people cry again.' Too soft, and I'd be criticized."

ABC execs wanted Paris to talk to one of their own, but according to Barbara, the network respected her decision to pass.

"I'm fortunately at a point in my life where I can choose what I want, and this was solely my decision. But I must tell you how classy ABC was. They didn't try to force me or say they'd place it on Nightline, or give it to someone else to do or any of the things they could have done. They respected my decision and walked away.

"Some agreed with my decision, some didn't. For me it was just a question of respect."

I wonder how Bab's "good friend" Kathy Hilton will feel about her daughter's sentence not being considered serious enough for Barbara to report on.

I think I can hear the scratching off of Barbara's name from the Hilton's Christmas card list.

There won't be Plinko! in Rosie O' Donnell's future.

The former View host had met with producers of The Price is Right last week, in hopes to come to some sort of agreement which would have Ro replacing the recently retired Bob Barker as the lead of the fantabulous game show. But sources say Rosie said "no deal!"

According to Fox News, the powers-that-be at TPIR "made her a substantial offer, but that the location of the show — Los Angeles — was the deal-breaker. Rosie will not move from New York. She's set here, and in Miami. So that's it. No amount of money can change that."

But as much as Rosie wanted to hand out hundred dollar bills from her pants pocket, I'm thinking she's pretty confident that another lucrative gig will come along. Reports are saying that since she left The View, after her explosive argument with Elisabeth Hasselbeck, viewership had plummeted. ABC management is said to be "crawling out on a ledge" over the decline.

It's obvious that whether you love her or you hate her, Rosie was entertaining to watch. And somebody out there must have the winning combination of money, location, and substance that Ro is looking for. We'll just have to wait and see.

I come home in the morning light
My mother says "when you gonna live your life right?"
Oh mama dear, we're not the fortunate ones
But girls they wanna have fun
Oh, girls just wanna have fun

It's almost like Cyndi Lauper wrote her 80's hit with Britney Spears in mind! And now Brit will get a chance to hear her anthem front and center when, according to her choreographer Misha Gabriel, she joins Cyndi's "True colors" tour for a "surprise" performance on June 30th.

Britney's peeps were auditioning some manly backup dancers for the upcoming gig at L.A.'s Greek Theatre, when one of the prospects said Brit's new song could generate the comeback she's been hoping for.

"It was dope," raved dancer Sam Pete to PEOPLE. "It reminded me of that one song you hear at 1:50 a.m., when they call last call at a club, and it's the hottest, nastiest song you've ever heard in your life and you've just got to put your drink down and dance to it. You've got no choice. Your body is insisting on it."

Now this dude should be her publicist! He's made me a little excited to hear the new ditty! You?

I guess he's trying to be sweet, in his own warped, psychotic way.

Drug battling Pete Doherty ensures his love, Kate Moss, that he will be clean when they exchange their upcoming vows. In his new memoir (that I'm sure Suzy's Big Sis has already picked up), The Books of Albion, Pete, who's publicy battled crack and heroin addicitons, sends this heart-warming message out to Kate.

"Smack and needle-free we shall marry in the summer and I become 10 times happier than any given smackhead. Huzzah!"

The rocker also publishes a love note that Kate gave him.

"You have touched my heart and soul you little [bleep]er . . . You make me high my sweet," it reads. "My skin shivers and longs to be held by you."

That is so lovely.

Not so lovely? The book also contains explicit accounts of Pete's sexcapades with random groupies and ex-girlfriends. He may want to think twice before giving Kate an autographed copy as a wedding gift.

Okay, unless Isaiah Washington becomes Jennifer Aniston's new boyfriend this will officially be my last entry on the guy.

After all his blabbing about how sorry he was for gay-bashing T.R. Knight, and how disappointed he was by not being asked back to Grey's Anatomy for the new season, the actor is now pointing fingers, saying he wasn't the one that should have been fired. "I have to clear my name. I'll start from the beginning. I'm telling everything. So here's the truth."

Enlighten us, Isaiah. Should it have been Patrick Dempsey who put you in your place? Or Katherine Heigl who actually stood up for her friend? Or maybe it should have been T.R., who you basically outed?

Believe it or not, Isaiah had the stones to tell the Houston Chronicle that, yes, it should have been T.R. that got the boot.

"I feel all this was about him getting a raise and getting his character to stop being perceived as a dopey, cooky kind of character. He perceives himself as a leading man. That’s why you could see the change this past season. That was his whole impetus behind it," the actor said. "I was used and I was exploited. I may be wrong but that’s how I feel about it."

And he says you're the one that's delusional if you think he's homophobic.

"I knew T.R. was gay but I would never attack him because of his sexual orientation. That’s stupid. I've been working with lesbian and gays for 21 years in this business. My whole existence has coexisted evenly and beautifully with individuals who happen to be gay, but more importantly are immensely talented. There's no way in my mind and my heart I could be homophobic."

Not another word, Isaiah. Not another word.

The girls plan to release the details of the 25-date "farewell" gig in London next week. A source close to the tour said, "The UK is the girls' home so that's where they'll start. And the band still have a huge following in Japan so naturally they'll be playing there. But venues like Shanghai are on the list because they want to reach as many Spice fans around the globe as they can manage. They feel they didn't get to say goodbye properly when they split."

Yes, I know, you are still reeling from their breakup in 2001, but now your wounds can finally heal, and from what the insiders are saying, this is going to be huge.

In addition to some major cash for coming back together, each Spicer will get their own private jet to fly their family and entourage from city to city.

"It's going to be one of the most phenomenal pop events ever. No expense is being spared to make this an unrivaled spectacular."

I guess somebody got what they want, what they really, really want.

Maybe it's because I haven't met Angelina Jolie, like the very fortunate Suzy, but I'm thinking Tiffany Clause could easily (and creepily) pass for Angelina on any given day. No, she doesn't have the multi-cultural family, and her guy is definitely not Brad Pitt, but girl has got the look. -- much more even than that Megan Fox from Tranformers.

I'm thinking Angie needs to reinforce those locks on her door because I'm seeing a soap opera kidnapping/impersonator storyline unfolding before my very eyes.

What do you guys think? Could she fool Brad and the kids? Better yet, could she fool Suzy?

This guy: Harley Pasternak.

Harley is a celebrity trainer who's 5-Factor-Fitness-Plan has reshaped Jessica's Simpson's body in 9 weeks. The actress, who had gained some weight while touring with her ex John Mayer called upon the exercise guru to set her straight and get her back into single girl shape. The former Daisy Duke is reportedly back down to 120lbs., from an estimated 145 in April. Jess was actually introduced to Harley by John, who used the guidelines to lose his bloat and cut some muscle.

The 5-Factor plan consists of five small meals days a day (200-300 calories each), for six days a week, with one free cheat day to eat whatever you want! In addition to the nutrition, Harley calls for five weekly workouts that combine cardio and strength training.

The list of Pasternack believers continues to grow as Grey's Anatomy's Katherine Heigl, who didn't own sneakers before meeting her new trainer, says she's an absolute convert. "Harley is the only trainer I've had whose plan worked for me."

Mandy Moore and Eva Mendes also attribute their tight little bodies to the man with the plan. "He kicks my butt," admits Mandy. "He's made me appreciate the gym in a way I never have. And he does it in a condensed block of time."And Ugly Betty's Vanessa Williams, agrees Harley's plan is a slam dunk. "It's a guaranteed body morph," she tells Us Weekly. "The trick is to listen to what he tells you and follow through."

The follow through -- that's what always gets me.

You can get more info on the plan at 5factordiet.com, where you can buy Harley's recipe and fitness books, or where you can order pre-made meals -- if you're rich ($99-$115 a day).

Will there be a healthy dose of testosterone on The View come the Fall?

It seems like every day there is a new name thrown in to the Rosie Replacement Ring but, up until now, they've all been of the female persuasion. Now insiders are saying that Barbara Walters and the gals are considering two men for the position.

Up for discussion are Sex and The City's Mario Cantone and Ross "the Intern" Matthews from The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Both guys are scheduled for a trial run next month.

Ex-View co-host Debbie Matenopoulos thinks going the guy route is a smart move for the show. "It is high time they put a gay man on that panel," the E! personality tells PEOPLE. "They've said 'We can't put a man here.' I disagree. Why does it have to be guys against girls? I have a better time and solve more problems sitting with my gay guy friends than my girlfriends!"

Personally, I think a man would rock. What about you? Do you think a man amongst the women would be good or bad?

In her second OK! cover, Anna Nicole Smith's baby girl smiles pretty for her daddy, Larry Birkhead.

Larry tells the mag that everyday he sees more and more of his dearly departed love in 9-month-old Dannielynn .

“She has long legs and chubby little toes exactly like Anna’s; it’s like a mirror image,” he says. “It’s really incredible. And I think her lips are her mom’s lips; especially when she pouts. ... She also gets what she wants exactly like her mom always did as soon as she’d pout.”

And though Dannielynn's daddy has hired a nanny to help out, he plans on being number one when it comes to parenting.

"I’m really hands-on, like too hands-on with my hand on the baby, a hand on the cell phone, a hand on the diaper,” says Larry, who quips that he has “a supersonic sense of smell when it comes to diapers.”

He's sort of sweet with her, huh? I think Anna might be smiling down on them.

Here's the glamorous Fergie, taking a break from high-waisted horrors, posing in a nice sundress for the cover of the new Self.

I clearly remember the first time I saw Fergie's ridiculously ripped abs. I was at the gym at like 6 in the morning, watching MTV (remember when they showed videos?!), when the Black Eyed Peas' Let's Get it Started came on. I instantly fell in love with the song and was so jealous of the body on the sexy girl on the screen. Fergs motivated me to work just a little harder on the elliptical that morning, but now that she's become a big star it's no longer her bod that inspires me -- it's her gorgeous guy, Josh Duhamel. Now my dream is one big helping of Josh with a small side of six-pack abs.

Fear not, blabber-ers! I am happy to report that Kate's nicely toned bathing suit bod (see above) is not one of a pregnant lady. The couple have been vacationing on the French Riviera with gorgeous daughter Suri, taking in the sights and lovin' it up. But Tom and Katie's rep has made it clear that Katie is absolutely not with child.

On another note, isn't Katie looking very mature for 28, as of late? Maybe I'm just still stuck on the Joey Potter days, when she was rowing across the creek and crawling through Dawson's window, but I'm thinking life with Tom is aging her fast. Agree or disagree?

Sources are buzzing that Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon are taking a hiatus from their spring fling. The movie star cuties, who had been looking cozy over the last few months (take out and frozen yogurt!), are said to be cooling off just a tad.

Reese, who was, just recently, out partying with her girlfriends (including Renee Zellweger), seems to be the one who has but the brakes on.

"She has either called it off or is just taking a break,” buzzed a spy.

Why, why, why, you may ask?

That pesky divorce from ex Ryan Phillippe has Reese gun shy about another serious relationship so soon.

“She cares for Jake, but the timing is crappy,” says the insider. “She doesn’t have enough emotional space for him right now.”

Poor Jake. Maybe Reese will come around. If not, there are plenty of others willing to keep him warm at night.

Everyone's favorite American Idol, Kelly Clarkson, has come out of the closet about her struggle with her fluctuating weight.

Though Kelly always went the route of defending her bigger-than-average-bod (by Hollywood's ridiculous standards) by saying things like, "I love food far too much" to ever fight with food demons, the pop star in now admitting that she was bulimic for a period of time in high school.

After losing out on a coveted role in the school's play, Kelly attributed the disappointment to her appearance."I thought...If I came back and I'm cuter and thinner...then I'll get the role." For the next six months Kelly binged and purged, until a friend discovered her secret.

"One of my guy friends caught on to it, and I just felt so ashamed and embarrassed," she admits. "I literally went cold turkey and snapped out of it."

Since then Kelly has been determined to accept her body for what it is.

"I've got a butt, I'm Greek- I can't help that. And I think it's good for people to see normal."

I continue to think Kelly is a cool role model for young girls. She's a strong little spit-fire who goes after what she wants, even if it it's not the popular opinion. Let's get those cancelled concerts rescheduled, Kelly!

When Brad Pitt's mom visited Jennifer Aniston on Father's Day do you think she brought along photos of Maddox, Zahara, Shiloh and Pax?

Jane Pitt swung by Jen's Malibu home on Sunday for a little girl talk, and though some may think it's strange that Brad's family still sees Jen, Brad's brother Doug disagrees.

"Jennifer is a friend of Brad's," he tells PEOPLE. "Why wouldn't she be a friend of ours?"

A friend of Brad's? In what universe?

But I do wonder what Jen and Jane talk about. Do the discuss Jane's insta-grandchildren? Did Jennifer fill in her former mother-in-law on the new hottie in her life? Would Jane complain to Jen that her new, pseudo daughter-in-law, Angelina Jolie, has some sort of crazy hold on her son?

To be a fly on that wall, huh?

They say time heals all wounds, but apparently not enough time has passed for Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

Last month's hatchet that sparked us to form Teams Rosie and Elisabeth has not yet been buried, according to an interview Access Hollywood conducted with Elisabeth. "You know, truthfully, I think a friend is someone who you have positive communications with, so I don't know if I would define us as friends right now.”

I get the feeling that the pregnant View co-host is fairly sad at the way everything went down. Elisabeth adds that, though they were close in the past, she can't predict things to come for herself and Ro.

"I did define us as friends, but I'm not going to make the leap to assume that we will or will not be friends in the future. We had so many conversations and a true friendship…If you looked at the big picture I always looked at us on the same team, even though our politics were so different."

Still no word on who will be filling Rosie's highly sought after seat.

Nicole Richie is running scared and I can't blame her.

The possibly pregnant Simple Life star will try and beat the rap for her arrest last December, when cops caught her driving the wrong way down the freeway. Having problems with drugs in the past, Nicole admitted to police that she had been smoking pot and had managed to pop a Vicodin or two before getting into the car.

Nic's new trial date is set for July 11, and her worst-case scenario is pretty bad. Unlike Paris, who's jail stay could turn out to be a mere few weeks, Nicole could face up to a year behind bars, due to a prior DUI arrest.

Jail is so the new rehab.

See who else is following the trend by playing our Celebrity Matchmaker: Stars Behind Bars game.

I'm pretty sure Paris Hilton isn't concerned with finding a job when she gets out of the slammer, but Playboy's man of all men, Hugh Hefner, says the heiress can always find a gig with him.

Hugh told Access Hollywood that he would love Paris to pose to for his mag, and apparently has approached her in the past.

"That's a standing offer. I think the problem quite frankly is mama. Mama doesn't want her to pose."

So Hef blames Kathy Hilton for the lack of Paris on his pages, but he doesn't fault The Jailed One for her wrong-doings. "I think to some extent [Paris] lives in a celebrity bubble," he reasoned. "I don't even think she was aware of the fact she was breaking the law. I think it's sad."

That Hef, such a gentleman. But back to Kathy not wanting Paris to pose? After her sex tape debacle posing for Playboy would be like being on the cover of Town and Country.

So what winning line did Josh use when he first met his love (who he had publicly announced he had a major crush on!) when she performed with the Peas on his show?

"After they finished rehearsing, I was walking out, and all of a sudden she was walking toward me. I was like, Oh boy. She stopped. And this is so sad, but I said, in this desperate voice, 'You're hot!' The crush of a lifetime, and that was my line!"

Well, it obviously worked as Josh and his Fergielicious woman have gotten a new place together. The hunk tells the new issue of Best Life that the lovebirds needed a fairly roomy house place due to all of Fergie's swag. "It's a big house," he says. "A girl like Fergie comes with stuff – a lot of stuff. And there just wasn't enough room for the stuff."

So what makes these so in love hotties a good team?

"She's a real total star. I'm more subdued than that," he admits. I'd rather sneak up on people. But that's what makes us work. We have similar fundamental values. We both grew up in similar families. She's just got a great soul."

But I have a great soul, Josh! Remember me? I was at that photo shoot like ten years ago....

Now that loony Naomi Campbell has decided to poke fun at her own anger management issues, I have on less job on this Earth.

The trash-sweeping model shot a commercial for Dunkin Donuts yesterday in which she gets agitated while gardening in an evening gown, and throws her shoe through a neighbor's window. The ad then cuts to a woman next to Naomi who is kept "calm, cool, and collected" by her D&D frozen drink.

I wonder if the drink is some sort of magic potion? If so, there is a whole slew of Hollywood names that could use a little chilling out (Drink up, Alec Baldwin!).

In what may be the world's smartest move, Lindsay Lohan, currently spending her time in rehab, has decided to pull out of her scheduled 21st birthday extravaganza at PURE nightclub in Las Vegas.

Per Access Hollywood, the Vegas hot spot released this statement regarding the starlet's now-defunct par-tay:

"We support Lindsay and wish her the best as she is taking care of personal matters at this time. Due to the unique circumstances, as of this afternoon Lindsay's birthday party at PURE Nightclub has been canceled. We think the world of her and look forward to working with her in the future.”

My translation: "Hey Lindsay, get yourself together and show up here, pronto. You owe us big time!"

While visiting The Ellen Degeneres Show, pre-rehab, Lindsay described her big plans for the momentous occasion.

"I’m going to milk it,” she said. “It’s a big birthday and I think it's been a long time in coming for my friends in LA who have clubs … [soon they won’t] have to worry about getting in trouble because I’m underage.”

Being underage is the least of Lindsay's problems these days.

I'm not sure how Britney Spears expected the world to react to the fact that she temporarily lost her mind and shaved all of her hair off. Were we supposed to be like, "Hey, Brit, great look. We love your chrome-dome keppy. It totally works for you?" Um, not likely.

Now, Britney is threatening to sue a Florida radio station for posting billboards with her Telly Savalas likeness next to a photo of one of the station's deejays. In addition to the photos, the advertisement includes the station's call letters, the name of the show and this fun little ditty: "Certifiable, Shock Therapy, and Total Nut Jobs."

In a letter to Clear Channel, Brit's lawyer claims it's "outrageous in the extreme" that the company didn't take the billboards down nearly two weeks ago -- when she says they promised they would. She also said that the pop star's "likeness has a multi-million-dollar value for authorized commercial exploitations" and she would be entitled to "very substantial damages" as a result.

I think it's funny, but I get why Britney is mad. I got a really bad haircut in the second grade and I still cringe when my mom breaks out the photo album. I feel for you, Brit.

It's been a busy week for babies. First Julia Roberts finally gave birth to her new boy, Henry, and now three more big names welcomed a pair of tiny feet into their families.

First up, Felicity's own Keri Russell. Keri and her hubby, Shane Deary, welcomed a baby boy on June 9th. His name? River Russell Dreary. The first-time parents are also newlyweds, having just married this past Valentine's Day.

Second, my pretend TV husband, Kevin James! The King of Queens and his model wife, Steffania, have added another princess to their castle. Shea Joelle was born on June 14, and will be fighting for the bathroom with older sister, Sienna, who arrived in September of 2002.

Finally, Tiger Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, gave birth to a baby girl on June 18, who they named Sam Alexis. The golf great posted this message on his website:

"Both Elin and Sam are doing well and resting peacefully. We want to thank our doctors and the hospital staff for all their dedicated and hard work. This is truly a special time in our lives and we look forward to introducing Sam to our family and friends over the next few weeks. We thank everyone for their well wishes and continued respect of our privacy."

Congrats to everyone!

Don't you feel like every time you see Angelina Jolie's dad, Jon Voight, on a red carpet he's all welled up with tears, sending a message out to her or the kids?

Angie and her father have been estranged since 2002, when Jon made comments to Access Hollywood suggesting that perhaps his daughter was a bit unstable. Angelina shut out her dad and also claimed he cheated on her late, beloved mom, Marcheline Bertrand.

But now, it seems, that Angie is thawing a little towards Jon. The actress told the UK's Evening Standard, "I am hoping my relationship with my father will be more private in the future. At the end of the day we both wish the best for each other and we'll try to start communicating in some way."

I hope she means it. I always feel bad for the guy. Half the time I don't think he knows what he's saying and Maddox, Z, Pax and Shiloh deserve to, at least, meet their grandpa. I mean, who else is going to give them a Werther's Original?

I've been trying to avoid talking about the possibility of Nicole Richie actually being pregnant until there was some sort of confirmation from the starlet or her camp, but now she's rocking some bling on her left ring finger and I think we should at least acknowledge the swirling stories.

Recent photos showed the usually concave Nicole with a slightly bloated belly and in some very loose dresses (not that anything really ever fits her). Then at the YSL Pool Party at the Beverly Hills Hotel on Thursday night, Nicole and her beau, Good Charlotte's Joel Madden, made the rounds while Nicole sported a pretty sparkler on her "I'm taken" hand.

Sources say neither Nicole nor Joel drank any alcohol at the bash and that the rocker was "overly attentive to her - keeping his arm around her all night -- and repeatedly asked her if she was okay."

Some believe Nicole orchestrated the whole pregnancy, hoping it will keep her from spending any time in the slammer, like her good pal Paris, for her second DUI arrest last December.

I have a hard time believing Nicole could even get pregnant or carry a baby with her lack of skin, but, if it is true, maybe she will finally join in on the newest fad that's sweeping the nation: eating.

Could Nick Lachey stand to be a part of another reality show that showcases his romantic relationships?

After filming two seasons of Newlyweds with ex-wife, Jessica Simpson, which somehow shot her stardom, the couple's marriage disintegrated. So I'm wondering how Nick feels about his current squeeze, Vanessa Minnillo, and the talk that she could snag her own a reality gig.

"The show would just follow her around in her day," a source said. "She really wants to be famous."

Poor Nick! Can't this dude catch a break?

Hopefully, Vanessa's recent photo scandal, where she was playing with knives and Lindsay Lohan, will make it more difficult for her to seal the deal, since her image is not so girl-next-door anymore.

Do you think Nick and Vanessa could survive the cameras? Tell me.

Oprah continues to rule the world!

The Talk Show Queen has hit the top of Forbes' Celebrity 100 Power List, which ranks the rich and famous based on earnings and buzz. Ops, who jumped from third to first since last year, has made an estimated $260 million over the past 12 months.

Now, that's some cash!

Golf master Tiger Woods came in at the number 2 spot, with a mere 100 million earning. Followed by Madonna, The Rolling Stones, with Mr. Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, rounding out the top 5. Angie herself came in at 14.

Those not on the list: Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears.

Justin Timberlake is not in love with Jessica Biel. Now somebody just needs to tell her.

In a very open interview with London's Daily Mirror, Justin calls Jess "a very dear friend," but when asked who the love of his life is, he reveals, "I haven't met her yet." Okay, then! That can't feel good.

Mr. SexyBack continued to dismantle any notions that his new romance is anything serious when he told the paper that, though Jess did visit him on part of his European tour, if wasn't exactly at his request.

"She truly insisted that she came with me on tour. I don't know how to say no to a pretty face. But it wasn't really a good idea," Justin admits. "This time I'm putting the machine before everything else. Jessica met up with me in Manchester, but for Paris I told her categorically no. This tour is very important for me. I'm doing it really seriously so there's no question of playing sweethearts!"

And though he's obviously not so taken with Jessica, he's definitely very impressed with himself. "I defy a girl not to fall for me if I'm on a surfboard or snowboarding," he challenged. "It's my secret weapon if a girl resists me." He also says "plenty" of men hit on him, too.

Good to know, Justin, because with the way you've been treating women lately, you might just have to switch teams.

Is she or isn't she? We're still not sure.

There's been lots of speculation that Christina Aguilera is preggers with a little fighter of her own, so our buds at Access Hollywood tracked down her rep for some scoop on the rumors. But what exactly does her answer mean?

When asked if the singer and her hubby of a year-and-a-half, Jordan Bratman, have a little one on the way, Christina's rep cryptically said, "We are not confirming anything."

Hmmmm. When these rumors were circulating back in February Christina's peeps adamantly denied them.

Verrry interesting. We're thinking a publicity memo is in the works.

To check up on some stars who definitely have a tyke in the works, take a look-see at our Celebrity Baby Tracker.

Does this look like the face of someone that should be using an "Age Reverse" product? The people at Neutrogena think so.

Jennifer Garner has been signed to be the new spokesperson for the skin care company's Anti-Oxidant Age Reverse treatment line. Mrs. Ben Affleck's mug will be all over Neutrogena's television and print ads soon, and, for a million bucks, will continue through December of 2008.

Jen says she "excited" about her new gig.

"For me, Neutrogena has always been a part of my life; I have used the products for years. I feel an emotional connection to the brand because it represents healthy beauty - and that's something that I strongly support."

The million dollars is exciting, but really, the face of an anti-age cream? Jen is only 35! Soon Lara Flynn Boyle will be the new Jenny Craig rep.

First Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen turn 21, now this. I'm going back to bed.

"I've always been lean and this year I lost my mom and I've gone through a lot,” said the actress, who's beloved momma, Marcheline Bertrand, died of ovarian cancer in January.

"I have four kids and I finished breast feeding – it's been hard to get my nutrition back on track."

Brad Pitt's love is well aware that people are talking about her incredible shrinking frame and unlike, say me, she's not so thrilled when they comment on her weight loss.

"Instead of people saying I look like a person dealing with something emotionally, they assume it's because I want to fit into skinny jeans," she told reporters at The Mighty Heart New York City premiere. "Someone saying to me that I'm thin is not a compliment,” she added.

And just when I was starting to think Angie and I could be friends...

You can now officially change Kelly Clarkson's lyrics to Since She's Been Gone.

The original American Idol winner cancelled her upcoming summer tour yesterday, after failing to fill enough seats at the big venues at which she was scheduled to perform her angst-ridden songs. Kelly has been dealing with problems at her record label, BMG, since head honcho Clive Davis basically told her that he hated most of the songs on her new album, My December. Kelly refused to change the tunes, as she wrote most of the lyrics and felt very close to the new ditties.

But Clive knows his stuff and, apparently, the kids agree with him. One of the promoters of Kelly's tour told the New York Post, "It's mind-blowing when you stop to think about what Kelly Clarkson has achieved during her young career, but ticket sales have not been what we anticipated. We came to the realization that we had bit off more than we could chew."

The team is said to be reworking Kelly's show, making it more appropriate for places not so much like giant football stadiums.

"The day when she'll play arenas is coming," the LiveNation rep said, "but for now, her fans should look forward to seeing her in a more intimate concert environment."

So get your refund and try and catch Kelly at your local coffee house.

Did you know that I live for 90210? Very important in my life. Even now. Even though there hasn't been a new episode in a hundred years (I'm still not over it). So, of course, I was thrilled when Steve Sanders a.ka. Ian Ziering shook his booty on last season's Dancing With the Stars. His heartthrob status was rejuvenated and those sexy arms of his finally got the recognition they deserved (Steve was always so overshadowed by that pesky Brandon.)

Now, my absolute favorite character of all time is planning to boogie her way, hopefully, to the championship on the dancing competition. Yes, Kelly Taylor a.ka. Jennie Garth is set to perform on next season's show! Jennie, who gave birth to her third child, with hubby Dylan, no, no, Peter Facinelli, last October, thinks this will be a great way to get her bod in shape. Though she was nervous about performing live, her bud Ian convinced her she'd be great.

I love that these kids are still friends. I know, you probably think I'm deluded, but when I tell you that I'm obsessed with the Peach Pit gang you should trust. My three best girlfriends (Hi KD, D &PB) and I used to battle over the whole Brenda/ Dylan/Kelly triangle.

And though I was alone on the Kelly couch many a Wednesday nights in Albany, who's dancing now, girls?!

Relive Ian's dancing glory (and those guns!) at TV Cocktail!

So, this is the cover of the new issue of OK!, where Jennifer Aniston is said to have taken steps to find a little "friend" for her home.

"Jen has been thinking of adopting for a while," a "source close to Jen" told the mag, "after seeing Sheryl [Crow] and her son Wyatt together, Jen didn't know why she was still waiting."

This bud of Jen's also supposedly spilled that, "The [adoption] process has 100 percent started."

The former Mrs. Pitt's peeps says this is whole lot of hogwash. "It's completely false," her rep told Us Weekly.

Perhaps Jen was thinking about it until she discovered her new boyfriend, Paul Sculfor, is quite the unstable lad, who allegedly likes to dip in his nose into the powdery white snow every so often. Not an ideal role model for a child.

Raise your hand if you feel old now that Full House's little Michelle Tanner has turned 21.

Believe or not, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen who started their tour de force on the '80's hokey sitcom as the youngest of three girls (she was like 2!), can now legally order an Appletini in any bar.

The sisters, who celebrated their big b-day on Wednesday, have come very far from their Uncle Jesse days, basically conquering the world with their empire of home videos, movies, and their clothing line.

It's pretty amazing what they've done with their lives -- given what's happened to other child stars like Danny "Hot Mess" Bonaduce -- but it just hurts my feelings that compared to the Olsens, who are gazillionaires and 21, I'm just old and poor.

I don't know how it happened, but I'm starting to feel a tad bit sorry for Lindsay Lohan. I'm well aware that the nature of this business is to sell stories, but when a girl is so young and so messed up it's sad when people she has trusted sell her out to make millions.

Former bodyguard to the stars, Lee T. Weaver, is writing a book about his time protecting celebs. Weaver spills about uber-partiers Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton, but says nobody was as big a mess as Lindsay.

“I have looked after some of the wildest stars in Hollywood — but never anyone as out-of-control as Lindsay is,” the snitch said. “I lost count of the times I thought she was overdosing and had to carry her out of parties. Every morning I’d breathe a sigh of relief she was still alive.”

Like I said, I feel sorry for Lindsay, but that doesn't mean I'm passing on the book.

I'm a little shy in morals department, what can I tell you?

Move over Dora -- here comes the next great animated heroine! That's right, folks. Just what are kids were missing in their lives -- a cartoon starring Paris Hilton

Marvel comics guru Stan Lee has sealed a gig with MTV to pencil an animated series starring the jailed heiress. Who else is involved in this master creation? Paris' ex-boyfriend Paris Latsis!

"He's not doing much, but she wanted him involved," says an insider. Random!

I wonder what adventures Super Paris will take us on in her new show? Perhaps she will set out on a mission to make sure all tiny dogs of the world are properly adorned with pink bows. Or she'll travel around the world to make sure her extremely important message -- "That's Hot" -- reaches far and wide.

Hit me with some Paris storylines, please.

There is a God!

The ever fertile Shar Jackson says the story that she is, once again, pregnant with Kevin Federline's baby is completely FALSE!

"It is not even remotely true,” Shar's rep tells Usmagazine.com. Kevin's rep also denied the story.

Wooohoooo!

The story originated in this week’s Star magazine, which reported that 30-year-old Shar is six weeks along with a Fedus.

I'm so glad there is no baby to speak of for two big reasons:

1) Maybe Shar is not as vapid as I thought, to get pregnant a third time, by a man who left her high and dry (and contracting) with her second.

2) There won't be yet another person walking around town saying "See that guy who's job is to marry people more famous than he is, and link himself to them forever by getting them pregnant? Yeah, that's my dad."

Matthew McConaughey graces the cover of People's Hottest Bachelor issue -- and he does them justice. Inside the mag, Matt's mom gushes about her boy, saying that his best quality is "his integrity" and that "when he gives you his time, he gives it to you."

That's what I'm talking about!

Other available heartthrobs on the list the luscious list: Reese Witherspoon's boy, Jake Gyllenhaal, Entourage's leading man, Adrian Grenier, and American Idol beat boxer, Blake Lewis.

Verrry nice celebrity eye candy.

So what would you imagine that Brad Pitt would give his sexy lover, Angelina Jolie, for her birthday?

Get your minds out of the gutter, people!

Mr. Pitt bought in tons of flowers, cooked Angie a scrumptious dinner and, finally, presented his love with a beautiful gold ring, adorned with the birthstones of all their kiddies.

"He cooked an amazing dinner," Angie's friend blabbed. "She was so excited, she talked about [Brad's gifts] all day!"

Some people just have it all.

Someone needs to have a nice, long discussion with Isaiah Washington about when to cut his losses. I just want him to actually seem sorry for his hate-spewing mouth.

The dude finally got word that he was not welcome back on the set of Grey's Anatomy next season and told Entertainment Weekly that he's not worried about the firing or how it will impact his career.

"I can only apologize so many times," Isaiah said. "I can only accept so much responsibility. All the players involved have taken care of what we needed to take care of in-house – and the media took it in a different direction. I hope that everyone is happy for the outcome for Isaiah, but Isaiah will go on and do what I love to do."

He just really, really irks me. I feel like after every pseudo-sincere statement he makes, he looks into the camera and twirls his moustache.

Britney was pissed that her mom made her to go to rehab and gave her kids to their ever-child spawning father, Kevin Federline. The pop tart vowed to cut ties with her momma, who she was once super-tight with.

Now Lynne is saying that she and her girl are trying to find their way back to each other.

"Britney Jean Spears is the sweetest and the most sensitive and loving of all my children," the mother Spears tell Us. "She's just figuring things out."

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you add "Jean" to anyone's name it makes them sound all innocent and good.

Catch the rest of the story in this week's Us Weekly.

All the best,
Tracy Jean

What a proud moment for a parent.

Rick and Kathy Hilton suited up and headed to see Paris in jail on Tuesday. The gazillionaires got to chat with their eldest daughter through a glass window and reported back to the press how Paris is handling her time in the slammer.

"It's tough in there. It's cold," Kathy said after their 30-minute visit. "It's just good to see her."

Paris has reportedly gotten some of her appetite back and has been passing the time munching on cereal.

"She was very happy," Kathy said. "She wants to just do her time and get on with it."

Meanwhile, Paris' talent agency has dropped her.

"Paris is no longer a client," says Endeavor agency rep Michael Donkis, who declined to specify a reason.

Um, we're thinking it's because she's in jail. But, no worries, perhaps she can become the spokesperson for Cheerios. Imagine if her face were on every box? I shudder at the thought.

Update: This was the worst rumor ever! Shar Jackson says that it's not true. Get the story.

Why? Why? Why?

I almost lost my mind when I heard that Shar Jackson (you know, Kevin Federline's ex who he left while she was eight months pregnant with their second child to go off and make babies with Britney Spears) is pregnant again with another little Federline!

Yes, you read that right. Cindy Adams of the New York Post is reporting that Shar is just about seven weeks along, and that Kevin, who can't seem to ever find the family planning aisle at CVS, doesn't even know yet! Apparently, their on-again-off-again romance was very much on-again in the last few months.

Well, surprise! Happy Father's Day, Kev!

Un-freakin-believable!

More: You may think the story of K-Fed ditching the very preggers Shar for Britney was pretty unbelievable, but that type of thing happens quite a bit in Hollywood. Read about other baby drama in Celebrity Baby Scandals: Pregnancies Interrupted.

After separating in 2005, My Best Friend's Wedding star Dermot Mulroney has filed for divorce from his wife, Catherine Keener. The couple have been married since 1990.

Dermot has cited "irreconcilable differences," and has asked for joint legal and physical custody of their one son, Clyde, 7.

Catherine is well known for her Oscar nominated role in Being John Malkovich and for being the object of Steve Carrell's affection in The 40-year-old Virgin.

Coley Laffoon, daddy of Anne Heche's five-year-old son, Homer, has been granted primary custody of the child, plus an unspecified amount of child support.

The freelance videographer and stay-at-home dad, who filed for divorce in February, petitioned for joint legal custody and primary physical custody of Homer, stating that Heche had "poor parenting skills" and had exhibited "bizarre and delusional behavior" that scared him from leaving Homer in her care.

Coley insists that he was the one who had created a stable home life for Homer and that his ex was nutty. Anne retaliated with accusations that Coley did spend more time at home, but not necessarily for parenting reasons. The Men in Trees star said Coley spent his days playing games, checking out online porn and masturbating.

Nice.

Anyway, Homer will now live his dad while his mom shoots her series in Vancouver (where she shacks up with her co-star James Tupper), and Anne will have alternate weekends with her boy. This kid has no shot at being normal.

They've made it legit -- we think.

A very pregnant Naomi Watts and her baby's daddy, Liev Schrieber, announced to Entertainment Tonight that they have gotten hitched. On their way to Sunday night's Tony Awards, Liev spilled the "news" to a reporter.

"We are married. You got it first. Break the story!" he said, with his lovely lady -- due in August -- on his arm.

Hmmm... Most celebrities make reporters work a little harder than that. So while we're happy, we're a tad bit skeptical.

I'll admit it. I was never big on Katherine Heigl. I thought she was pretty in Charlize Theron-look-a-like way, and recognized that she had decent acting chops as Izzy on Grey's Anatomy, but it wasn't until I saw her in her new flick, Knocked Up, that I acquired "woman love" for her.

Let me explain: "Woman love," for me, is that overwhelming feeling I get when I so badly want to be another member of the female persuasion -- or I want to be their best friend -- and, in some cases (like this one), it's both.

I now think Katherine is not only drop-dead gorgeous, but I think she's honest, funny, and very talented. In the new issue of Glamour, my latest woman crush talks about her man (cutie singer Josh Kelley), her body (she likes food!), and her loose lips (she mouthed off to the press when her former co-star Isaiah Washington insulted T.R. Knight).

Check out some highlights:

On the Grey's debacle: “At the time, I was a girl whose best friend had been hurt. I was mad, I’d had a glass or two of champagne, and an interviewer asked me about it. Later, when I watched it on the news, I thought, I’m totally going to get in trouble for this. I knew I wasn’t playing the political game – the network wants us to promote a healthy, happy environment, and I’m usually all for that – but that particular incident really infuriated me, and I couldn’t hold my tongue. I think it’s really pathetic there’s still so much bigotry in 2007, and I would speak out again if the situation arose.”

On having to lose weight for her movie:
"It was awful! I remember once reading an article about Jessica Alba – who is the most beautiful, most in-shape person alive – and how committed she was to her regimen. And I thought, There is no way in hell that will ever be me. I can’t only eat fish and vegetables or work out seven days a week. Then suddenly I was that person and I was shocked. But I could never maintain it. I like food too much!”

On her honey:
“We definitely had chemistry at first sight. In the beginning, I was a little intimidated because I thought I was more into him than he was into me. But I was tired of playing games, tired of playing it cool, tired of trying to remain in control of my relationships. So I was honest about how I felt, he was honest right back, and within a month and a half I was completely in love with this guy.”

Seriously, do you think she'd be my friend?

Paris Hilton swears that jail has changed her.

The locked-up heiress called The View's Barbara Walters on Sunday and, on yesterday's show, Babs revealed to her co-hosts and the world just how Paris is handling these tough times.

Barbara said that Paris "sounded tired but totally aware of what she was saying."

Really? Because then Barbara dropped the bombshell that Paris feels she has been touched by an angel of some sort, and has vowed to make her post-jail life filled with meaning.

"I feel as if I'm a different person," Paris said. "I used to act dumb. That act is no longer cute. Now, I would like to make a difference. God has given me this new chance."

Supposedly she already has plans for her new life, telling Babs that she's going to dedicate herself to doing charity work – serving breast cancer or multiple sclerosis foundations – and has suggested that she'd like to possibly open a Paris Hilton Playhouse for sick children.

I'm all for giving people second chances -- and I want to believe her -- but I don't.
Prove me wrong, Paris. I dare you.

Access Hollywood's Nancy O' Dell and her hubby Keith have welcomed a beautiful baby girl into their family. Ashby Grace Zubchevich was born Monday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L.A. The newest member of the Access family weighed in at 7lbs 9oz and 22 inches long -- that's a tall drink of water!

While everyone is basking in the glow of the new baby, Nancy gets the award for best post-labor quote. The new mom said "I love epidurals!"

Congrats!!

It's sort of crazy how quickly Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie went from not admitting they were a couple, to having four kids together and declaring their devotion to one another.

Just recently Angie said that she and Brad do most of their talking in the bath, and now she's opening up about how the father of her children helped her through her most difficult time.

"When my mother died Brad held her hand and helped me through all the stages of dealing with someone dying," she told the U.K's Daily Mirror. "After the funeral Brad brought everyone back to the house and asked questions about our mom. He focused on all the love and all the joy we were fortunate enough to have had. He is an extraordinary man."

She went on to say, "I am a very lucky woman. I have a beautiful family and Brad is a supportive friend and a great father. And he is very romantic. We talk very deeply about how we feel. We're very similar. We support each other and back each other as parents. There is no divide."

And though, at this point, nobody would really be surprised if they added a fifth child to their clan, Angie says they would only consider it if and when Maddox, Zahara, Shiloh and Pax were ready.

"In our home it is about making sure everyone has individual time, and right now all four of them have daily, very special individual time and we never want to have so many children we can't do that," she insists. "When they get older and if it starts to feel like we can fit more in, that's how we're going to gauge how many we have."

Move over CoCo Arquette, your mommy and daddy want you to share your toys with someone new.

WENN is reporting that Courteney Cox is planning to undergo in vitro fertilization again in the hope of giving Coco a little brother or sister. Court and hubby David Arquette previously encountered a lot of trouble starting family before being blessed with Coco in 2004.

Courteney says that though they do have plans to add another pair of tiny feet to their home, she still needs to wait a bit longer, since she is so busy with her new TV show Dirt.

"I'm not really ready right this second, but I'll probably do it one more time. I used to want to have, like, eight kids. It was such a fantasy when I was younger because my mother, who was an only child, had four kids. Now, looking back, I don't understand how she did it."

I hear ya, Court. I planned on having a whole baseball team -- until I had one. Then I decided golf is a nice game.

I would have thought, since Paris was screaming for her mommy when she was ushered out of the court room on Friday, that the heiress would have wanted her parents to be the first to comfort her on Sunday. Surprisingly, Rick and Kathy will have to wait until Tuesday to see their girl, as Paris' sister Nicky and her "she-loves-him-she-loves-him-not" man, Stavros Niarchos, were the first to try and hide a nail file in a cupcake at the Twin Towers Correctional Facility's medical ward.

Okay, so there was no big escape plan, but Nicky and Stavros did get to spend a whole 30 minutes with the inmate, after supposedly cutting in the lines of other visitors to get in.

"Why did they get to go up first, that's what I want to know?" asked a relative."We don't care about no Paris Hilton," grumbled one mother. "We're here for our families."

Of course the Sheriff denied that Nicky and Stavros got special treatment.

On the way out, Nicky told reporters that Paris was "being strong."

Really, though, what is Paris going to do without a nail file for all this time?

In a juicy new JFK Jr. tell-all, an old college buddy of John's says that the golden boy had an interesting night in 1988 with, none other than, Madonna.

The book, American Legacy, claims that John and Madge met up in Chicago and checked in to a "cheap, dinky" hotel, where the duo planned on getting it on.

"They were working their way around the bases, and as they rounded third and headed for home, she asked him if he had any protection. He didn't, so now they began discussing how they were going to get a hold of a prophylactic," a "good friend" of John's tells the author.

"She was still legally married to Sean Penn, and he had a steady girlfriend . . . They were afraid of being busted. They couldn't very well just meander into a pharmacy and ask for a pack of Trojans. They were too well known . . . To John's great chagrin, the relationship was never completed."

The scandalous book goes on to say that John also liked men on occasion, and dipped his feet into the hooker pool every now and then.

I applaud John and Madonna's will power in the situation, but I can't help but think how history might have changed if they weren't so responsible. Could Madge have been the mother of a Kennedy? Wouldn't that have been awesome?

Paris Hilton has decided not to appeal the court's decision to send her back to jail. In a very mature and well-scripted statement, Paris gives a shout-out to the media and her fans. Read below:

"Today I told my attorneys not to appeal the judge's decision. While I greatly appreciate the Sheriff's concern for my health and welfare, after meeting with doctors I intend to serve my time as ordered by the judge.

This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. During the past several days, I have had a lot of time to reflect and have already learned a bitter, but important lesson from this experience.

As I have said before, I hope others will learn from my mistake. I have also had time to read the mail from my fans. I very much appreciate all of their good wishes and hope they will keep their letters coming.

I must also say that I was shocked to see all of the attention devoted to the amount of time I would spend in jail for what I had done by the media, public and city officials. I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things, like the men and women serving our country in Iraq, Afghanistan and other places around the world."

There are three theories on what was actually wrong with Paris that deemed her "in need of medical attention.'

1) Paris was about to have a nervous breakdown -- see her "fragile mental state."
2) Paris was suicidal -- see above.
3) Paris had the cooties.

My best friend's sister's boyfriend knows this guy, who hangs with a kid, who's girlfriend has a brother who works in the sheriff's office that booked Paris (breathe), and he says, "Paris was released due to a severe, 'stress-induced' herpes outbreak and that he heard that the blisters had apparently spread to her anus and had taken on abcess-like features that required more serious medical attention. Thus, after taking into account jail overcrowding, the increasing liability that Paris presents, and Paris's lesions, all things weighed in favor of her being put on home confinement."

Believe what you want, I'm just so glad I've had the privilege of passing this on.

"This decision sends the message that no individual - no matter how wealthy or powerful -- is above the law. Today, justice was served."

---- Los Angeles City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo, in response to Judge Sauer's decision ordering Paris Hilton back to jail

Somebody's in trouble over at Martha Stewart's camp, but I think this pot should be a tad bit more tolerant before calling the other kettles black.

The queen of all things good was being chauffeured from her home in Westchester County to NYC, where she was scheduled to make an appearance on The View, when she noticed that her car was being followed by police. When Martha arrived at the ABC studio, her ride was surrounded by officers, and her driver was arrested!

Martha was not happy, to say the least, and went up to her dressing room and, according to a source, "started shouting loudly to an assistant over the phone." She yelled, "How could you do this to me? Don't you do background checks on people? He was Egyptian! What do I pay you people for?"

A rep for Martha told Page Six: "The company confirms the driver was arrested yesterday. He was a temporary employee and had only been with MSO a short while."

It's unclear what the man was actually booked for, but what difference does it make if he was Egyptian? Martha should just be happy the cops weren't coming for her again -- obstruction of justice snob.

I had planned on watching an episode or two of Paula Abdul's upcoming reality show, Hey Paula, just to get in my daily dose of laughter. I fully expected it to showcase the nightmare that the American Idol judge is, but did I expect to be so entertaining that I would want to watch it all the time? Hardly.

Well, Ben Widdicombe of The Daily News says it's that good! The gossip columnist gave the show a glowing review in his column, claiming that his favorite quote of Paula's -- "I'm tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am" -- is just one of the many highlights of the wacky dancer's Bravo bonanza that debuts June 28 on Bravo.

Paula is rumored to have tons of fights with everyone from her personal assistant to QVC executives and, even though she lives a very nice life, complains to be under appreciated by everyone that crosses her path.

I'm in.

I've told you before that I'm a huge Bon Jovi fan. Ever since I heard You Give Love a Bad Name (I think I was in the 7th grade) I wanted to have "blood-red nails on my finger tips."

So it makes me extremely sad to report that my boy, and Jon's right-hand-man, Richie Sambora, has entered "an undisclosed treatment facility in Los Angeles," according to his rep and People magazine.

The nature of Richie's problem has not been released, but the man has had it rough over the last few months.

"Richie has had a terrible year," a close friend tells the mag. "I think this was a culmination of all these things and finally he realized he needed to take care of himself. He'd put off everything for so long taking care of everyone else it was just time to stop and deal with his issues."

Richie had to deal with his divorce from Heather Locklear, a high-profile relationship, then breakup, with Denise Richards, and most heartbreaking, the loss of his dad to lung cancer. So maybe that explains his major meltdown on the set of MTV Unplugged earlier this week.

Get better Richie. This New Jersey girl looks forward to seeing you, cowboy hat and all, back in the saddle at Giants Stadium soon!

So Paris spent her big three days in prison before getting released yesterday, to serve the rest of her sentence under house arrest a la an ankle monitor. The reason for La Hilton's release was said to be due to her fragile mental state, as her psychiatrist, Dr. Charles Sophy told law enforcement that Paris was at risk of some sort of nervous breakdown.

Um, doesn't everyone have a little bit of a nervous breakdown when they are sent to prison?

Anyway, after all that hoopla, and Paris probably dancing a jig that she gets to spend the next 40 days lounging around her mansion, the heiress has been ordered back to court today, for a hearing to determine why the Sheriff's Department allowed her to get out of jail when the judge had expressly ordered her to serve out her entire sentence.

Send her back! Send her back! Send her back!

The rumors were true --- Dr. Burke is dunzo!

TMZ has confirmed that Isaiah Washington has been let go from Grey's Anatomy.

Isaiah's rep, Howard Bragman, said that Shonda Rhimes, the Grey's head honcho, called Isaiah told him he would not have a place on the ABC hit next season. Reports are that the decision was a result of a "pattern of problematic behavior," and was only in part because of him throwing around homophobic remarks to co-star T.R. Knight.

Mr. "I'll just make a PSA and everything will be great" issued the following statement on his dismissal: "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore."

The nerve! This guy has some ego and I'm so glad he got fired. By the end of the first episode of next season we'll forget he ever existed. Though, unfortunately for T.R. Knight, it might take a little bit longer.

For more TV scoop, visit TV Cocktail.

Have I been asleep for 20 days? No? Then how is Paris Hilton out of jail?

TMZ has learned that Paris has been sprung from the joint, getting released early this morning, after serving only three of the 23 day sentence.

The website says the deal was sealed yesterday.

The L.A. County Sheriff's Department will hold a news conference in an hour to discuss what went down.

More to come....

ABC had better work fast if they want to snag Rosie O'Donnellfor another ratings blitz.

NBC's new programming chief, Ben Silverman, is telling friends he will do anything to get Golden Ro a gig on the network. The head honcho is talking to Rosie about hosting a prime-time game show, as well as a daytime talkfest.

Rosie's final ratings on The View reached unprecedented numbers, so she's one hot commodity, to say the least.

I think Rosie would be great as a game show host -- she tends to yell a lot, loves confetti, and is known to break into song with little coaxing. Very entertaining. I'm thinking she should get her hands on a show that finds talent for Broadway a la last summer's Grease reality show. That lady loves her a good musical.

Then I will pray for the return of Battle of the Network Stars, so Ro and Elisabeth Hasselbeck can meet up at the dunk tank.

"If I were as famous as some of those kids who are on the magazines right now at 21 years old, I’d be shooting crack under my eyeball. We are always going to be that society that slows down to look at the car wreck on the side of the road. I think we’re just in one of those places right now, and it seems to be focused on younger kids Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan and people like that. They’ll get through it, but I wouldn’t want to be growing up around that.”

--- George Clooney, on being a young Hollywood star.

This is just amusing.

Crome-dome singer Sinead O' Connor tells the London Mirror that she and tiny, purple-loving funk master Prince actually came to blows a few years back. The volatile Irish lass, who has admitted to having bi-polar disorder, says that when she covered Prince's Nothing Compares 2 U, the little man scolded her for her behavior during the publicity run.

“He invited me to his house in Los Angeles and started to give out to me for swearing in interviews. When I told him to go [bleep] himself he got very upset and became quite threatening, physically. I ended up having to escape.” But, objected the paper, “he’s such a small guy.” Replied O’Connor: “He can pack a punch. A few blows were exchanged. All I could do was spit. I spat on him quite a bit.”

I would have paid money to be a fly on the wall for that scuffle. I'm sort of picturing Prince charging Sinead at the waist, then Sinead picking him up into an over-the-shoulder airplane spin.

I'm starting to feel the tiniest bit sorry for Lindsay Lohan. The troubled starlet has not only made some bad choices when it comes to allegedly drinking and driving and using cocaine, but her "trusted" pals are turning out to be not so loyal.

TMZ is reporting that the now-famous photos of LiLo and Vanessa Minnillo working on their knife skills were stolen from Lindsay's apartment and sold to the a UK tabloid for big bucks.

Lindsay also has only had three or four visitors since entering rehab, yet details of her have been leaked to the National Enquirer. All of Lindsay's guests have been so-called "friends"-- her mom is apparently too busy looking for her next publicity gig to visit --- so who's the weak link and the rehab blabber mouth?

Well that's info nobody is giving up, but Lindsay's rep did comment on the stolen pics.

"Unfortunately, we live in a society where we allow stolen pictures to make a profit. I can't believe magazines would purchase and publish stolen, personal photos. If anyone wants to step up to the plate and donate the profits from their sale, we would be happy to point you in the direction of a charity in need."

Riiiiight. That's going to happen. Since when do people sell their soul to the devil so they can feed starving children?

Talk about all kinds of fantasies wrapped into one!

"He's a lovely guy," says his friend and former gal pal London socialite Lady Victoria Hervey. "A gentleman. Simple things, like opening doors, he does all that. He'll think of the woman before himself."

Yay for Jen. That man is one fine specimen -- so much better than what Vince Vaughan is working these days.

Sources on the set of the upcoming third season of The Hills say that Heidi has been showing up during filming of scenes scheduled just for Lauren and her new pals, so she can mug for the camera a little more.

“Heidi’s been showing up at shoots uninvited,” a spy said. “She knows her best chance for airtime next season [which premieres in August] is to be in sequences with Lauren.”

The girls supposedly had a huge fight at their second home, Les Deux, when Heidi and Lauren unexpectedly ran into each other.

“Lauren was screaming, 'You’re pathetic!’” says a witness. “Lauren was using her hands wildly, saying she didn’t want to deal with Heidi.”

Heidi, who just recently got engaged to her equally annoying boyfriend, Spencer Pratt, and has a budding music career, is said to be too busy to care about how much face time she'll be getting on the MTV show. Her rep tells Us Weekly, “Heidi’s recording her album. She doesn’t have time to chase Lauren.”

Before the new season of The Hills hits your DVR, catch up on how Lauren and Heidi's friendship disintegrated with our recaps of season 2 at TV Cocktail.

Justin Timberlake has a new girl in his life.

Pretty, Dutch singer, Esmee Denters, is the first artist that has been chosen for JT's new recording label, Tennman Records. The 18-year-old first began generating buzz when she used a web cam to record herself doing covers of songs by stars such as Alicia Keys and Mary J. Blige (she's singing Mary's No More Drama above) and posting them on YouTube. People went crazy for the gal.

"Esmee is the real deal and I cannot wait for the world to hear her," he says, "but all of her fans on YouTube should not worry … we will keep you in the loop every step of the way."

The lucky lady will write and record a CD for release later this year, and will join fairy godfather Justin on tour this summer.

"Words can't describe how amazing it is. I am so excited!" Esmee said in a statement. "It is something I have always dreamed of doing. I have to thank YouTube and its viewers for giving me the opportunity to show the world my voice. I also have to thank Justin, one of the biggest artists in the world, for believing in me and making my dreams come true."

I love a good Cinderella story.

Cameron Diaz's new man, spooky Criss Angel, is either hopelessly in love with the leggy blonde or just really smart about getting himself some major publicity.

The MindFreak illusionist was in New York's Time Square on Monday, preparing to be locked in a cement box for 24 hours. Right before Criss was sealed up, he announced, “This is dedicated to my new girl. You know who you are. I’ll be thinking of you."

Okay, so he didn't go as far as to name Cam right there and then, but don't be thinking he didn't cash in on Cameron's gold.

The next day, Criss' box was hoisted 40 feet above the ground then was sent crashing down. And voila!, he showed up minutes later on a nearby scaffolding, without a scratch on him. While a huge crowd cheered, Criss took that very public opportunity to declare his devotion to Cam.

"I'd like to dedicate this escape to my girl 'Trouble,' a.k.a. Cameron. I love you baby. Have a safe trip to Europe for your Shrek tour," he told the swarms of people.

Cringe!

Obviously, this dude knows nothing about dating a celebrity. Hey Criss, it's supposed to be on the D.L. Don't be taking out an ad in the paper telling the world your biz. Cameron should drop this freak like a hot potato.

Is Nick Lachey rethinking his whole relationship with Vanessa Minnillo, now that he knows she likes to play to with Lindsay Lohan-- and knives?

Us Weekly's new issue tackles that very important question. They say that Mr. Nice Guy Nick, knew exactly what he was getting himself into right from the start of his relationship with Nessa.

"A lot of Nick's friends were complaining about what a party girl she was," said a source close to the former beauty queen. "There were many nights in the beginning when Vanessa was a total mess and Nick didn't know what to do."

"Vanessa used to be a completely crazy, wild girl," confirms another Vanessa pal. "She'd be the girl that would jump on the tables at every nightclub."

But sources close to the couple say that the ever-patient Nick has no worries about his blade-wielding honey.

"Nick knew when they got together that she had a party-girl past. But the past is the past."

We already knew that Nick was the most patient man in the world -- have you seen an episode of Newlyweds -- I just hope Vanessa's inner wild child doesn't wind up burning him, or cutting him, for that matter.

The crooning duo have parted ways, once again, according to PEOPLE. A source close to John says that the tumultuous relationship between him and Jess is absolutely done.

"It has been rocky and it had been rocky, and it reached the end of the road," said John's friend. "It is definitely over – the relationship has ended."

Jess' peeps confirm the split, but tend to think this could just be another bump in the road.

"They broke up Sunday night, but who knows what the future will hold," says a player on Team Jess. "This is the twelfth time they've broken up. Their relationship is volatile. Last week they felt better than ever. This week, things are rocky. Who knows what the future will bring. "

Reports that John and Jessica were kaput surfaced last month, but just days later they were seen together in New York and Cabo San Lucas. Spies say that was the couple's attempt at working through their differences.

"They tried to make it work. They dated for a year," says a member of Team John. But now, "It's over."

Oh well. Too bad, so sad, bye-bye.

Drats! I was all excited about Britney Spears' mom's appearance on The View. Now it ain't gonna happen.

The drama momma -- Lynne Spears -- was supposed to sit in the empty chair during "Hot Topics" on the chat-fest Wednesday, but her name has suspiciously been pulled from the schedule.

Britney was showing her assets in Mexico this past weekend, but has since returned to L.A. Did Britney get wind that her mom was about to go on the talk show and spill her beeswax?

No doubt!

So when do Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have their very important heart-to-hearts? While scrubbing each other's backs, of course!

"I don't know how he does it, but… I talk a lot in the bath… Get naked with me and I'll talk," Angie revealed to Marie Claire in a new interview.

Editors of the mag say they were taken aback by how candid the actress was about her man and their brood. "We were very surprised how open she was talking about Brad and the children," Joanna Coles told Access Hollywood. "It's a very reassuring normal happy family portrait."

It does, from what Angie says, seem like they could be the family next door, with the same child-related issues, we all tend to encounter, when are kids start to develop minds of their own.

"I'm still having trouble convincing Pax that underwear and pants go together -- underwear is not pants!" she jokes with the magazine. As for Zahara, "You do her hair; she take's it out. It's like everybody just starts to undress once you've gotten them dressed," Angelina said. Meanwhile, Shiloh, who just had her first birthday, has just started to walk, "so she's falling and trying to eat everything in the place," smiled her mom.

But Angelina says that when she sees Brad with Maddox, it's the most heart-warming thing.

"I didn't know if he was ever going to have a dad. So when I watch them having real strong father -- son time or even when Mad tells me, 'This is a boy thing mom' -- it's just really beautiful to see. It's hot. There’s nothing sexier than a man who is a great father," she said.

It really does sound like a any other family in the cul-de-sac down the street, except these parents are unbelievably gorgeous, and their kids tend to multiply like Gremlins.

I shall look no further for my Halloween costume!

I've decided I'm just going to be the highest bidder on eBay for Paris' once-tried-on, orange jail jumpsuit.

According to MSNBC, the eBay seller has posted a message saying that the heiress was unhappy with the way the clothes fit. The item description read:

She demanded a femal med and they didnt fit. These are the Original pair of Paris Hilton Orange jail shorts and jump suit! Dont miss this once in a life time opportunity!!!”

Well, say no more. Whatever the cost, it will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine.

These two just can't get it together. On-again-off-again couple Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson have had another blow out.

Last week, when Kate was running around NYC like a single lady, sources say that it was her way of sending a message to her beau. The message being "shape up, sucker!"

A Page Six source heard Kate complaining to friends at a party that she an Owen were having issues. "She said that if he didn't step up and make time for her, then she was over it," reports the source. "A few days after that, she broke up with him over the phone."

Owen's a bachelor in the true sense of the word and Kate wants something solid. "She's complaining to everyone that she made all these sacrifices and he can't be in a committed relationship," said the spy."

They seem like a cute, fun couple. I would totally go for Kate if I were Owen, but maybe monogamy just ain't his thing.

Yesterday disturbing pictures of a pre-rehab Lindsay Lohan surfaced, in which the starlet was playing with knives -- and a pretty brunette. The brunette in question? Vanessa Minnillo.

Now more people are talking that the former Miss USA is not as sweet as she may seem.

Vannesa moved her stuff into's Nick's Beverly Hills pad in April, and, soon after, V decided not to renew her contracts as host of MTV's TRL and Entertainment Tonight correspondent, in hopes of landing a movie career. Now, sources are buzzing that it was ET execs that weren't so happy with Vanessa.

Supposedly when producers flew her to Los Angeles to cover the Grammys, "she was extremely high maintenance," said one source. "She insisted they fly her own hair and makeup people and her personal assistant out with her every time she flew to L.A. She only flew first class and stayed at the Four Seasons, and then she didn't want to work.

"Vanessa wants to be a celebrity, not interview them," said the source. "She wouldn't conduct post-show interviews because she wanted to party. She expected to be paid a full-time salary for a part-time job."

After, Vanessa's bosses decided Ms. Diva wouldn't be covering the Oscars.

Page Six says they've seen her girl-behaving-badly shtick themselves, when they spotted Vanessa at one of the fall fashion shows "changing seats for 15 minutes until she was satisfied." The paper says she's "been known to bark orders at cocktail waitresses and cause scenes when she goes club hopping at night."

Vanessa's rep denied any "diva behavior" and told Page Six, "She chose to leave ET because her contract ended. This is the first I've heard about any bad behavior."

I get the feeling it's not going to be the last...

But hold off on digging your keys into the side of his 4-wheel-drive (I can't help it -- I LOVE that song!), Perez Hilton says Carrie and Tony are still very much together, as they were seen in Dallas just this weekend, "looking very much the couple."

Whew! Now I can continue to picture my own cheating ex-boyfriends, instead of Tony, when I sing that fun little tune.

I'll ask again, please, please make Dina Lohan go away.

While her oldest daughter, Lindsay, is nicely tucked away in rehab, Dina continues her quest become famous. Now she is in talks to do a reality show with E! tentatively titled "Mom-ager," in which she'll try to turn her youngest, not-yet-tainted children, Ali, 14, and Cody, 11, into stars she can hopefully mooch off of.

An insider spilled the beans about the show concept to Page Six. "Can you believe that?" the spy fumed. "She totally messed up Lindsay by making her a 'star' and living vicariously through her - and now she's going to do the same to the other two? How the [bleep] can E! do this? Those kids should be in school having normal lives, the life that Lindsay didn't get to have."

All I can say to that is a very loud "Amen!"

Tons of you commented on my story about that delusional MeMe Roth calling Jordin Sparks "a vision of unhealth" due to her size, and apparently we weren't the only ones outraged by her comments.

MSNBC is reporting that Ms. "I'm so skinny" Roth has been receiving "hate posts calling for my death," since her Fox TV interview where she questioned what message about weight Jordin's American Idol win sent to young girls.

MeMe said that though she admires the 17-year-old singer’s talent and “effervescent personality,” she thinks that “her extra weight is a reflection of today’s society and a culture where many of our children have compromised health due to unhealthful food choices and inactivity... We have to stop with the ‘baby fat,’ ‘curvy,’ ‘goddess’ euphemisms and own this child health crisis.”

I still despise this woman and the message she's sending to young girls, but I don't think she should be getting death threats. This is just a clear example of how hate produces hate.

Let's just call MeMe harmless names and make fun of her, and hope that karma comes a-calling in the form of one too many protein shakes.

Now GSN has made me just a tad bit happier than I ever thought possible with their new online game, "The Prison Life: Paris." In the ingenious new funny you are a sunglass-clad, smirking Paris Hilton, attempting to line up overhead stamps as California license plates roll down a belt. Paris' dog, "Clinkerbell, keeps jumping up on the conveyer belt, and you don't want to hit him because then you lose points," says John Roberts, GSN's senior VP for digital media and interactive entertainment. "But if the dog gets through the entire belt, you get extra points."

Click here to play and pass it along to your friends. It's good for a Monday morning when you just can't bear to start working just yet.

So, Rosie O'Donnell is just about ready to release her new book Celebrity Detox. And what perfect timing, no?

Ro was at BookExpo America on Sunday, where she said she had an "interesting year" and that "a lot of it will be in her new book." Um, yeah. I would hope so.

After a season of outspoken television on The View, making fun of Donald Trump and the war of the words with Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Rosie insists that her new tell-all will not be "mean-spirited or "vindictive," but will offer a but will offer an honest and open look at her very public life.

"It is, in fact, a drug," she said of fame. Rosie claims that some of her peers were so transformed by it that they looked like victims of "crystal meth."

Celebrity Detox is years in the making, Ro said, but she was not convinced to put a bow in it until her time on The View gave her tons more to write about. The book, which she says is "half blog," half "straight" writing, will be hitting shelves this fall.

Will you be reading Rosie's story? I will.

Instead of hitting In-And-Out Burger after strolling the red carpet of the MTV Movie Awards, Paris Hilton headed off to jail for her first behind-bars meal: cereal, bread and juice.

According to Access Hollywood, the heiress checked into the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood just after 11:30 p.m. Sunday, where she's expected to serve three-weeks for violating her probation.

Paris opened up about her sentence to the press at the MTV bash.

"I am trying to be strong right now," she told reporters on the red carpet. "I'm ready to face my sentence. Even though this is a really hard time, I have my family, my friends and my fans to support me, and that's really helpful."

Sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore said Paris was a model inmate.

"Her demeanor was helpful. She was focused, she was cooperative," he said.

It's really happening. Huh.

Danny was celebrating at his official "Divorce Party" at the Key Club in Hollywood, where the former Partridge kid paraded about with a group of scantily-clad models. He gave one girl, what I would refer to as "the lap dance from hell," but this chick actually looked liked she was enjoying it!

If you ever watched Danny's reality show "Breaking Bonaduce", you are well aware that Danny and his ex Gretchen, should have ended that marriage eons ago. So they definitely deserve to party now that the end is here.

That's the good news. The bad news is that a perfectly good bowl of chicken noodle was ruined for me to bring you this story.

Sharon Stone is set to star as the fictional presidential candidate Patricia Hill, a "Hillary Clinton type", in 60-second mock political ad. "It's a farce," Stone's rep told Page Six. The actress is said to be getting a kick out of making fun of the 2008 race and “the manipulative strategies of political communication.”

Here's hoping Sharon spends most of the 60 seconds in a short white skirt, crossing and uncrossing her legs.

In all fairness to Paula Abdul, we will post the exclusive statement she gave to TMZ, regarding her whining, crying , nobody-loves-me phone call that was leaked to the media:

"I am deeply hurt and extremely disappointed that someone has taken a private telephone conversation that I had with my representatives and released it to the media. This is not only illegal but also highly unethical. While I don't feel a need to justify or explain my conversation, even as a public figure I do feel my privacy has been violated and find this action to be unacceptable."

Paula had been in London for the past few days, with no idea that all these stories were swirling. Then she came home.

I know, I know. You're thinking "another story about Paris?" But be honest, wouldn't you want to read just a little bit of the heiress' diary?

Paris, who is obviously a whiz when it comes to being famous for absolutely nothing, plans on recording her, um, thoughts, during her 23 days is the slammer for publication. According to the Daily News, a souce close to the deal said if La Hilton "can make it believable, and not exaggerate too much, she might expect to make a million dollars out of it."

Paris has already planned a big send off for herself on Monday, hiring a hair and makeup team to get her all paparazzi-ready for her ride to jail. A friend of the soon-to-be-inmate says, "The timing is to make sure she makes all the celebrity weeklies. Paris is a genius at marketing herself. She managed to turn having a sex tape to her benefit, and she's going to do the same out of going to prison." The pal adds, "If she can set up her entry into jail in a very grand way, the payoff will be greater."

Well then, there's no doubt that this will be the most sensational Los Angeles car ride since O.J. hit the highway.