Thanks for your guesses to our Who Said it? Sassy Starlet Edition

If you said skinny-mini Keira Knightley, you would be correct! This no-nonsense little lady chimed on on how she feels about the young, panty-less, crotch-flashers of today, at the Venice Film Festival. She's feisty!

Jen told People that she took plenty of hard hits on the set of her new flick. "It was so down and dirty that [I] had scratch marks that we had to cover up on my face for the next few days," said Jen, who plays a U.S. government agent sent to investigate a bombing in the Middle East. But Ben, the always supportive husband, urged Jen to, well, knock herself out."He was just like 'Go, go for it, babe! Harder!' I thought it would have made him a little bit nervous to see them chucking me against the wall, harder and harder with every take."

They are just so cute. If my hubby and I were movie stars we would be just like them.

Which sassy starlet gave this quote about the recent boom of crotch-flashing celebs?

"I'm not going to get blind drunk and then stumble out and fall over an puke up in front of people. I'm not saying I don't do that in private, but I try not to. The whole celebrity thing is not magic. They're real people proving they're s**ttier than everybody else because they don't even wear knickers."

Was it:
Keira Knightley
Kate Beckinsale
Thandie Newton
Emma Watson

Take your guesses and check back later for the big reveal!

While her hubby David Beckham is nursing his bum knee, Victoria Beckham will bring home the bacon with a guest spot on super hit, Ugly Betty. After weeks of speculation, ABC confirmed the fashionista will play herself on the adorable show. Rumors has it that Victoria will be a bridesmaid at the wedding of Wilhelmina Slater (Vanessa Williams) and Bradford Meade (Alan Dale).

Access Hollywood caught up with Betty herself, America Ferrera, for her thoughts on having the Posh one on her show. “She definitely belongs in the MODE world. She’d definitely be somebody that Wilhelmina is good buddies with."

If they need any help deciding on Vicki's wardrobe for the episode, I have a one word for them: poncho.

Larry Birkhead is steaming mad over the allegations that he is in cohorts with Anna Nicole Smith's former main man, Howard K. Stern. OK! magazine said that they dropped Larry from an upcoming issue because of some nasty accusations coming out in Blonde Ambition, the new book from Rita Crosby. But Larry says it's all crap and he's not going to take it lying down.

"None of it is true," Larry told The Daily News. "I'm gonna sue Rita Cosby for it."

Meanwhile, OK! says they are just looking out for baby Dannielynn. "It breaks my heart that OK! has to pull out of [the] shoot," said Editor Sarah Ivens, "but first and foremost, we care dearly about the well-being of the young one, and my moral obligation lies with her."

Larry says the mag is just mad that he was on the cover of OK!'s rival Us Weekly, and told TMZ, "I was just threatened via email by [the reporter] that OK! would do a negative story on me if I did any stories with any other mags. Ridiculous!!! I am not sure what planet she's on but I am not going to be threatened. She blew it!"

Such drama. They're all just a bunch of bickering puppet heads in my mind.

He can run but he can't hide!

Britney Spears's ex-manager, Larry Rudolph, who has admittedly been hiding out in fear of getting served, has been found. Perez Hilton reports that Larry was caught inside a Sunset Tan location in West Los Angeles and handed a subpoena. He was ordered to appear in court as a witness in the ongoing custody battle between Brit and her ex, Kevin Federline.

Larry had released a statement to theotherblog.com, earlier in the week saying:

"As her former manager, I know and understand Britney better than anyone, I know what makes her tick and I understand everything she's going through. With that being said, my loyalty will always stay strong with Britney. I have consulted with my lawyers and I do understand that eventually the time will come when they will find me, but until then, I'm trying to avoid being brought into this mess. She's going through so much right now and I wish Britney the best."

Larry will join a plethora of Britney insiders that Kevin is hoping to use to bury his ex.

UPDATE: In new court documents that have been released, it is revealed that Kevin's lawyers intend to serve Britney's "sober companion" (insert joke here) and a former nanny.

The papers also disclosed Brit's income: $737,868 A MONTH, with Kevin receiving $20,000 a month in spousal support. The Fedster "has no net income after business expenses," the papers say.

Good thing Britney has all that cash because, according to my calculations, she's going to need to spend about that much in legal fees.

"It's just gone from one thing to another thing," he said after the game. "Maybe it's time for me to just say, 'I need the rest,' and get it right and don't come back until it's right. I'm devastated to have been taken out of the game, because I was looking forward to this game. I've been given the rest to try and get my ankle feeling better, and it felt better."

Unfortunately, David could be benched for at least month. "At this stage, it's hard to tell, but it doesn't feel good," he told reporters. "With a ligament strain, it's four to six weeks. We'll have to wait and see," he said Wednesday. "I'm going to have a scan tomorrow, and we'll see the full extent of what it is and how long I'll be out, but at the moment, it doesn't feel great."

Well, at least he has his looks.

Jessica Simpson is so mad that her ex John Mayer is hooking up with Cameron Diaz! Us Weekly is reporting that a source close to Jess said the singer is "really jealous" and can't get over it.

"She had her mouth open a mile wide when she found out,” says the source. “She just freaked.” John dumped Jess in May, after a seven-month fling, and Jessica is still reeling. "She thinks about him all the time,” the spy said. “She is so not over him.”

And Jessica might be waiting a while if she's thinkiing about swooping back in when John and Cam to break up. The new couple "looked very cozy" -- just last week -- at a club in NYC.

You would think that Lindsay Lohan's parents would be concentrating on their daughter's recovery -- instead, these two freaks continue to use the media to rag on each other.

Lindsay's dad, Michael Lohan, who is supposedly going to see her in rehab, called Perez Hilton to give him en earful on his ex-wife, Dina Lohan. In the transcript posted on the gossip guru's site, Michael accuses Dina of a a boat-load of things, including lying, using Lindsay for money, and keeping her "drunk," "degenerate," "rapist" boyfriend around the children. Michael, who has had his own troubles with substance abuse in the past adds, "I’ll give you a tape - a video confession - of someone who came up to me and said, ‘Michael, I know for a fact that Dina does cocaine because I delivered it to the house to her.’"

Not to be outdone, Dina released her own statement, simply saying, "Now the world will know why eight people were issued criminal stay away orders of protection until 2011 against Michael Lohan.”

Get a grip, loonies! Is there really any mystery left as to why Lindsay is so troubled?

Taking a page from disgruntled exes Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, train wreck couple Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston continue to trade barbs.

In newly released legal papers, filed last month, Bobby claims that his ex is doing her best to keep him from their 14-year-old daughter. "Since Whitney has been awarded sole legal and physical custody of Bobbi Kris, she has attempted to eliminate me from Bobbi Kris' life," he said. "I did all I could to see my daughter ... I also paid approximately $10,000 for Whitney and Bobbi Kris to live in a nice hotel while Whitney was going through rehab ... I basically lived out of my car. I have not seen or spoken to my daughter since early June and I have no prospect of speaking to her or seeing her anytime soon due to Whitney's actions."

In her declaration to the court, Whitney claims that the Bobster has been "almost totally uninvolved in taking care of [Bobbi Kristina]," and that she believes "Bobby is going to try to get child or spousal support from me ... Bobby is fully capable of working and earning substantial sums of money if he would control her personal behavior."

I just think these two are hilarious. Have they seen themselves on Being Bobby Brown? Bobbi Krisitna should be counting the days until her 18th birthday, when she can run far, far away.

Contrary to earlier reports regarding the very sad suicide attempt of Owen Wilson, his attorney has told Access Hollywood that there was no evidence of a drug overdose. Police were called to Owen's house after the actor slit his wrists, however his lawyer said that the actor did not have his stomach pumped, and though Owen was taking anti-depressants, he was not aware of any other drugs in his system at the time of the incident.

In addition, the Santa Monica City Attorney’s office has announced they will not be releasing the 911 call made regarding Owen. Here's an excerpt from the press release:

“In reaching this decision the City believes that in many instances no person should have to worry about whether placing a call for emergency assistance will automatically make his or her medical request open to public review. In balancing the competing interests, the City agencies outweighs the public interest served by disclosure of the emergency 911 call. In situation such as this, the City concludes that the public is best served if medical attention is promptly sought instead of being delayed because of a concern, real or imagined, of public attention, regardless of whether that publicity is sympathetic or not.”

In other Owen news, the actor has dropped out of his latest flick, Tropical Thunder, currently being produced and directed by Owen's good friend Ben Stiller.

We're sure that, just like us, Ben just wants his bud to get better.

You won't be seeing Larry Birkhead pimping more pics of little Dannielynn, on the cover of OK!, any time soon. The mag, that had paid big bucks for the first photos of Larry with Anna Nicole Smith's little girl, has dumped him as their upcoming cover boy.

According to the Daily News, the glossy was to have featured exclusive coverage of Dannielynn's first-birthday party as part of a $1.7 million access deal. But now disturbing allegations from the new book, Blonde Ambition, set to be released next week, has caused OK! to back out of the deal. The book speculates that Larry and Anna's creepy lawyer/husband, Howard K. Stern, who both claimed to be the baby's father, may have actually struck a backroom deal.

"My biggest fear is that Larry and Howard may have tricked us all," OK! editor Sarah Ivens said in a statement yesterday. "The newly obtained allegations are detailed, shocking and potentially incriminating. "It makes it impossible for OK!, in good conscience, to promote this family's highly questionable relationship in our pages."

How sick is that?

Time to get your dancing shoes all scrubbed up, as the new cast of the insanely addictive Dancing With the Stars has been announced. This year's crop of twirlers is as interesting as ever and there's plenty of oldies-but-goodies to root for in this bunch. Here's the list:

What is in the water over there at the Hollywood Villas? First The Hills' most notorious couple, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag got engaged, and now another MTV alum is getting hitched!

Lauren Conrad's ex, the recently rehabbed Jason Wahler, has proposed to his girlfriend of a big six months. Jason popped the question to college tennis player Katja Decker-Sadowski, his rep confirms, in front of a bunch of friends, including Lauren (!), at a housewarming party in their Los Angeles home. Jason presented his 19-year-old lady with a four-carat emerald cut diamond.

No wedding date has been set for the couple.

That's just crazy talk! I'm sure they'll be on an episode of MTV's Engaged and Underage before you can say annulment. Jason also returns for a guest stint on The Hills on the Sept. 10 episode.

Catch up on the season so far with our recaps at TV Cocktail

I just love a juicy blind item --this is courtesy of the Daily News's Gatecrasher:

Which international sex symbol had to return to her own country to terminate a pregnancy that was the result of a brief fling with a U.S. hip-hop titan?

My guesses, based on absolutely nothing? Shakira and Wyclef or Sienna Miller and Diddy? Your guesses?

Britney Spears's new single is ready and could drop as early as next week, according to Entertainment Weekly. The song, called "Gimme More," is produced by Timbaland protégé Nate ''Danjahandz'' Hills, and is said to be the track that Britney was filming a video for in July. You know, when she was wearing that hideous stripper outfit?

Anyway, the buzz is that the new song is an up-beat club song and -- get this -- it's good! ''People are going to love [the new single],'' raved a source. ''It's like when Justin [Timberlake] came back — she's got a whole new sound. She's funky.''

A different insider, who's heard the new sound, is also loving it. ''It's a smash! She's going to come out strong. The only question is, with all the drama, are people going to want something fun or something more serious? This is a dance single.''

Do you believe it? I want to. I want to love the song. I want to be singing it in my car and dancing to it in the shower. I always root for the underdog -- even when it's a train wreck like Britney -- that's just how I roll.

Yup, that's the word on the street from gossip guru Perez Hilton. Sources say everyone on the set of Shia's new flick, Indiana Jones 4, is buzzing about the hot hookup. Just last week, Rihanna and the Transformers actor were seen chilling out together at a bar, now they reportedly had a romantic dinner at Kate Mantilini in Beverly Hills on Tuesday.

Apparently there's enough room for you and Shia under Ri's umbrella!

While the actor's ex Kate Hudson was reveling in her new romance with Dax Shepard, Owen was "hitting rock bottom." Us reports that Owen attended a church in Santa Monica (perhaps looking for guidance?) just three days before his brother Luke found him at his home, with a slashed wrist, having taken a ton of pills.

Though most of us were shocked by this terrible incident, sources say those close to Owen and Kate knew that Owen was struggling with some major demons. The insiders report that Owen has a history of depression and an addiction to cocaine and heroin (though a rep for Owen adamantly denies the actor has ever used those drugs.)

Friends close to the ex couple say that Owen's bad habits took a turn for the worse after he and Kate broke up. "We always thought he was just too fun-loving, but now it's obvious he was just dealing with way too much to handle," says a family friend.

Owen continues to recover in Cedars-Sinai Hospital, and hopefully will get the help he needs to beat those demons. We wish him well.

In a "take that" move, actress Bridget Moynahan has announced the name of her brand new baby boy -- and there's not a Brady in sight. Bridget's boy, with New England Patriot's Quarterback Tom Brady, has been named John Edward Thomas Moynahan, according to her rep.

Now this chick knows how to stick it to her ex. Bridget gave the baby four names and not one is even close to "Brady." She could have even thrown in a "Brad" -- but she didn't.

But Bridget's rep says all is just peachy and happy between the new parents. "She is thankful for a healthy baby and is excited about being a mother,” she said and adds that the actress “was very pleased that the father, Tom Brady, was able to be there for the birth.”

I can almost hear the clenched teeth in that statement -- and can see the smile on Tom's current girlfriend's face , supermodel Gisele Bundchen, from here.

There are still many questions surrounding the hospitalization of Owen Wilson -- but one has been answered. Extra has obtained the Calls for Service report from the Santa Monica Police Department, which lists the reason for the 911 call from Owen’s house as an “attempted suicide.”

Sources also confirm that Owen's brother Luke found him. Owen is being treated in Cedars-Sinai hospital, where he is listed in “good condition.”

"How you doin'?"

Well, "not great" should be Matt LeBlanc's response, since Camille Cerio, who acted as Matt's former manager from 1994-1995, says the actor owes her tons of cash. According to TMZ.com, in a letter filed with the lawsuit, dated April 4, 1994, Matt writes that "a check in the amount of 15% of the gross compensation for pilot and series derived from Friends Like Us" be made payable to Camille. Friends Like Us was the original title of a little show later renamed Friends (remember that?).

Matt fired the girl in 1995, but she says he continued to call her for career advice through 1998. Now she wants some of his millions. A rep for Matt gave this quote: "In a land of meritless lawsuits, this is the king of all cases without merit."

Matt needs to get a good lawyer for this one. With the way his career is going he needs to hold on to as much cash as he possibly can.

Attorneys for both Britney Spears and Kevin Federline were back to work yesterday, for a hearing in dependency court, which handles child abuse claims, among other things. According to our friends at Access Hollywood, these matters will take precedence in Brit and Kevin's ongoing custody battle, with all other issues being put on hold.

"If the county feels the kids are at risk, they will begin an investigation. If they find either or both parents aren’t capable or unwilling to parent the children, the county will file a petition in juvenile court, Los Angeles criminal defense attorney Steve Cron told Access. If that happens, Britney and Kevin would be allowed a 'full blown' hearing where they can bring witnesses and experts to testify on their behalf. The judge would then decide if the county needs to step in, possibly taking over custody over the kids, according to Cron."

For now, the details of the dependency court hearing are confidential, so we can't positively say if they are investigating Britney's parenting, Kevin's parenting, or both.

TMZ .com reports that the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services "abuse investigation" into Britney Spears does not involve physical mistreatment of her children. The concern is centered around Sean Preston and Jayden James' alleged "poor eating and sleeping habits."

I have to admit that, just yesterday, I bribed my 16-month-old with cookies and ice cream to smile for a picture at the Sears Portrait Studio. Does that make me a bad mom?

I have to tell you, Blabber-ers, when I saw this item in this morning's Daily News I immediately thought of you.

"Eight brave party-crashers found themselves ejected from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's New Orleans fund-raising dinner in Southampton Saturday night. The interlopers used heavy fog to sneak into producer Jane Rosenthal's back garden while 90 guests enjoyed cocktails around a tented pool."

I thought to myself, "Was it you, Stephanopoulos, that tried to crash the party? Or could it have been Chatty Cathy, who was sad she wasn't invited?

Just a reminder of how much we appreciate your comments -- good or bad, we're always interested in what you have to say. And by the way, was it any of you that tried to get an up close glimpse of Brad and Angie?

Kate Hudson's long-haired son, Ryder, has a brand new cousin! Kate's brother, and Rules of Engagement star Oliver Hudson and his wife, Erinn Bartlett, welcomed a baby boy on August 23.

The new tot's name -- Wilder Brooks Hudson. Oliver told E! News that he's loving being a dad. "I'm so tired, but I'm on a high, and I want to take in all of it."

Congrats to the proud parents!

Charlie Sheen and his fiance, Brooke Mueller, took his kids for a day of fun at the beach. Unfortunately, the family had to contend with more than a couple of seagulls ruining their good time. Seems Charlie and his brood were accompanied on their day out by a court-ordered escort, who also happened to be his ex, Denise Richard's, former assistant.

Charlie has been fighting Denise for the right to be able to see his daughters without supervision. "Here is my and Brooke's weekend with [Sam and Lola] being sullied by one of her spies," Charlie told People.com during an exclusive interview at "Kids Connection" – an Art of Elysium benefit hosted by Brooke Shields in Malibu. "That is the thing I have to put a stop to. I can't spend quality time – times I'm never going to get again – quite frankly being observed by a perfect stranger."

Charlie's hoping the courts rule in his favor soon so that he can have an "unpolluted relationship with my children. It's a very loving, safe, comforting, supportive, nurturing environment for these children," he added. "Brooke and I are incredibly stable. We go to malls, to movies, to parks – we just try to keep it interesting," he said. "We have stuff at the house that they are really excited about that isn't double what they have at [Denise's] so when they come to my place, it's special."

Denise needs to back off and get over it. Charlie seems happy and content with his new life, and his kids can benefit from seeing him like that. Denise needs to get a hobby -- other than making her ex's life miserable -- and find that sperm that she is looking for, somewhere else.

What a sad news morning.

Nick Hogan, son of wrestler Hulk Hogan, was seriously injured in a car crash Sunday night, when his Toyota Supra crashed into a palm tree. Nick's car "inexplicably left the road," Clearwater, Fl. Police spokesman Wayne Shelor tells PEOPLE, "and it was totally destroyed upon impact." The cause of the crash is unknown, although police believe the car was traveling at a high rate of speed.

Nick, who's only 17, and his male passenger had to be extracted from the vehicle using the "jaws of life." They were placed on a Medivac helicopter where they were flown seven minutes to nearby Bayfront Medical Center in St. Petersburg. Nick is said to be in serious condition, while his passenger has been listed in critical condition.

Hulk and his family are reportedly in a private waiting room at the hospital, as Nick is being treated for "very serious, life-threatening" injuries. If you've ever watched Hogan Knows Best on VH1 you know how close this family is. Our hearts go out to them.

UPDATE: TMZ.com has confirmed that Nick was released from the hospital this morning.

Pop star and Dancing With the Stars alum Willa Ford said "I do" to her honey, Dallas Stars hockey player Mike Modano in Athens, Texas on Saturday.

People.com reports that Willa and Mike tied the knot on a private ranch and the bride wore a dress she designed herself. The couple, who had dated on-and-off for four years, got engaged in 2006. This the first marriage for both.

I bet Willa's man is thrilled that she was on DWTS -- it probably saved him from those dreaded pre-wedding dance lessons.

Straight from their hot-dog eating, tourist shopping day in New York City, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie hopped a private helicopter flight to The Hamptons, where they hosted a fabulous dinner party to raise money for the rebuilding of New Orleans.

The more than 50 guests, including Christie Brinkley, Ellen Barkin and Jimmy Buffett, were served cocktails followed by dinner (a buffet of lamb, salmon and corn pudding), all under a giant tent decorated with black-and-white photos of everyday life in New Orleans. Both Brad and Angie were decked out in white, as well.

Brad gave a speech on helping those affected by Katrina, while Angelina adoringly looked on.

Say what you want haters, but they're trying to do good here.

This is so out of nowhere. Owen Wilson was hospitalized Sunday night, after his brother Andrew allegedly found him with his wrists slit, next to an empty bottle of pills. People.com is reporting that Santa Monica police issued a statement saying officers responded to a "medical assistance call" at Owen's house on Sunday.

"The person was transported to a local hospital where they are being treated," the police statement said. Later in the evening, Owen's brothers Andrew and Luke, as well as his parents, were seen at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles.

The National Enquirer editor-in-chief told Perez Hilton that when Andrew found him "both of Owen’s wrists were slashed superficially and Owen had taken an overdose of pills." Owen is said to be in stable condition, as of now.

We're not usually inclined to believe the Enquirer, so we'll keep you posted as the details of the story unfold, but this is so shocking!

Things are just going down the toilet for Kirsten Dunst. Seems the actress left her hotel in NYC's SoHo, to film scenes for her new flick, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, when thieves snuck into her room and ripped her off. The villains made off with a $13,000 handbag, $2,500 in cash, and some other of Kiki's belongings.

Luckily, cops say they've caught one of the thieves -- a plumber, who was being held on $50,000 bond, on burglary and grand larceny charges, and are searching for his alleged accomplice, whom they've identified.

Uh-oh. I think I may have bought one of Kirsten's bags on 42nd street yesterday.

Missed the auditons for So You Think You Can Dance?

Well, I may just have the info you need to get your second chance at dancing stardom. According to our friends at Access Hollywood, Jennifer Lopez has kicked off a nationwide casting call in search of a dancer for her upcoming music video. The “Secret’s Show Us Your Moves” competition teams J.Lo up with Secret Deodorant in search of a woman 18 years of age or older who has the skills to move and groove.

The auditions began Thursday inside the Roseland Ballroom in NYC, where the contestants had 30-seconds to impress the judges. This is what Jen said she was hoping to find:
“I look for somebody who’s clean, who can pick up choreography but also has a stage presence.”

The competition continues on to Dallas (Aug.30th), Atlanta (Sept. 6th), Miami (Sept. 7th), Chicago (Sept. 20th), and Las Vegas (Sept. 28th) in search of a semi-finalist in each city. If you can't get to any of these places (you have a job, or a family or no cash) you can submit a 30-second dance video to BecauseYoureHot.com by September 28th to be considered for the competition.

The winner will be featured in a video for one the songs off of Jennifer's forthcoming album, Brave, which hits stores on October 9th.

So, aspiring superstars, get out there and shake what your momma gave ya!

London's Mirror is reporting that Pete Doherty has checked himself in to rehab -- two days after allegedly attacking a female photographer.

Pete reportedly chased the young lady paparazzi, and is said to have kicked her, pulled her hair and smashed her camera.

Earlier this week, Kate Moss' ex-train wreck was arrested on suspicion of possessing drugs for, what feels like, the 97th time.

Not be out done by their daughter, of course, Lindsay Lohan's spotlight-searching parents felt the need to make their own public statements on the latest developments in Lindsay's life.

“I am overjoyed that the system sees that Lindsay is getting the help she needed by putting her best foot forward and by going to rehab, said her papa, Michael Lohan. "I think between her attorney, Blair Berk, and her therapists at Cirque Lodge, she’s around people that care about her best welfare and Lindsay as a human being. I just hope I can be part of the right path she is on.”

Okay, I can accept that. But then, here comes Dina Lohan's madness:

“My children and I are in a wonderful place in our lives,” she told VH1 News Thursday evening, “and people just want to make things up and see us fail.”

"Wonderful place" in your lives? Your daughter is in rehab, is admittedly addicted to drugs and alcohol and is going to jail. What does a bad place in your life look like?

Four days just ain't what it used to be. Nicole Richie checked in to the Lynwood, CA jail Thursday at 3:15 p.m.and -- due to jail overcrowding -- was released 82 minutes later, at 4:37p.m., according to People.com. By the expectant mom's side were her baby's daddy, Joel Madden and her lawyer.

Nicole's booking stats? 5'1" and 105lbs. At five months pregnant.

"Miss Richie was cooperative during the process," the sheriff's department said in a statement. The statement also claimed that Nicole's time served was "based on her sentence and federal court guidelines." Apparently, under the current sheriff's policy, non-violent female offenders sentenced to 30 days or less are booked and released within 12 hours. As part of the sentence for her DUI charge, Nicole also agreed to serve a three-year probation term, must enroll in an alcohol education program and was fined $2,048.

I know my should mouth should be gaping that Nicole spent less than an hour-and-a-half in jail, but I'm more shocked about her weight. She's cracked the triple digits! Her booking photo is probably the best picture she's ever taken. Wonders never cease.

Lindsay Lohan has just issued this statement to TMZ:

"It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs.

Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case. No matter what I said when I was under the influence on the day I was arrested, I am not blaming anyone else for my conduct other than myself. I thank God I did not injure others. I easily could have.

I very much want to be healthy and gain control of my life and career and have asked for medical help in doing so. I am taking these steps to improve my life. Luckily, I am not alone in my daily struggle and I know that people like me have succeeded. Maybe with time it will become easier. I hope so."

Lindsay Lohan's movie Just My Luck may have bombed at the box office, but girl is one of the luckiest chicks around. TMZ is reporting that the L.A. County District Attorney filed criminal charges against Lindsay this morning. The charges are seven misdemeanors -- not one felony. And, there still may be a plea bargain. In a nutshell, if LiLo gets convicted of all seven, she'll serve the maximum of four days in jail, as opposed to what could have been years.

Here's why it turned out this way. The DA says Linds' cocaine traces, in the Memorial Day weekend car crash, "were below the .05 grams required by office policy for felony filing." Sources say there were also problems even proving she was in possession of the drug. As for the second case (where she chased her former assistants' mother), another source tells TMZ that "the manner in which the cocaine was seized was questionable."

Other factors in the non-felony charges:

The once-young and virile Richard Gere was looking very much like my grandpa yesterday, at the NYC premiere of The Hunting Party. Remember when he fell in love with hooker-with-a-heart-gold, Julia Roberts, in Pretty Woman, and when he literally swept Debra Winger off her feet in An Officer and a Gentleman? He's still handsome, but I'm pretty sure if Richard lifted anything close to Debra now it would be Ben-Gay city for weeks.

Clean up on aisle five!

Believe or not, as part of Lindsay Lohan's rehab road to recovery, the actress is picking up shifts at a local market in Utah. According to the new issue of OK!, Lindsay will be working at Smith's supermarket, which is close to the Cirque Lodge detox center in Sundance. The mag says that all of Lindsay's big blue collar earnings will go, of course, to charity.

In addition to pounding the pavement, Lindsay has been looking into spiritual healing, doing yoga and writing in a journal, and still finds time to horse around. Cirque offers "equine therapy, where patients care for horses to help them with issues of trust."

So that's what Lindsay is up to in rehab. Being a checkout girl, writing in a journal and combing some horses. Hey, it's an enormous improvement from clubbing every night, allegedly snorting cocaine, driving like a lunatic.

Meanwhile, while she's still remotely young and wholesome, Hayden is the face (and bod) of the latest "Got Milk" ad. Shot be famed photog Annie Leibovitz, Hayden holds an exploding glass of moo juice in the ad, with the quote, "You don't have to be a hero to feel invincible. That's why I drink milk."

Invincible? Uh-oh. That's what we were afraid of!

A new celebrity trend! Pregnant behind bars!

A Manhattan judge threw Foxy Brown behind bars on a probation violation charge -- a stunning blow to a rascally rapper who's uncanny ability to remain free despite numerous scuffles with the law had made her appear jail-proof.

Foxy -- who is three months pregnant, according to her lawyer -- will spend at least two weeks, until Sept. 7, in Rikers, which has a pre-natal unit for pregnant inmates.

The rapper announced in court that she also has plans to get married -- she so wants to be Nicole Richie.

"I am not. It was just a rumor," J.T. said. He did, however, talk about what it was like to work with her Madgesty. “There’s only one Madonna. It was amazing. I’m still trying to figure out if she knew we were there, cause I was just constantly staring at her. I became like the weird stalker in the corner!”

Okay.

Hopefully Justin is debunking the MTV rumors in hopes to keep the collaboration under wraps -- then it will be a fabulous surprise for all who are watching. Good idea, huh?

Ah, that Beyonce -- always a crowd pleaser.

Update: Beyonce's publicist has told People.Com that, contrary to what you think you see, Beyonce was not without undergarments -- she was actually wearing a flesh-toned bra. Riiiiight. Was it a bra with nipples?

Britney! Why can't you just get it together and do one thing that might help you revive your career?

Page Six says that Britney Spears backed out of recording a new song with former flame Justin Timberlake and uberproducer Timbaland. A music industry source said Justin wrote the duet specifically for Brit, and though they wouldn't actually record together in the studio, his voice would have been mixed with hers later.

"Timbaland set aside a week out of his crazy schedule to do this -- and then, just before she was supposed to fly out, Britney abruptly canceled the session and refused to do the song", said the source. "It's crazy. She's looking for a comeback, and this would have not only been a huge hit, but something she could have opened the MTV Video Awards with and really blown everyone away."

Brit's label, Jive Records, is said to be very worried by the fallen pop star's decision to pull out of what could have put her back on the map. "Listen, everyone is worried. In her mind, her album is done and she's done enough work... She's an easy target right now, because she's... sick. People like her are sick. It's like an anorexic who's sick in the head and needs help. She needs help. It's sad because what she's got -- and we've heard it's like bipolar disorder -- can easily be treated with medication, but she won't do it."

I know I'm deluded, but I still dream of a Britney/Justin reconciliation. They were just so cute together. I'm sad, I know.

Contrary to reports that rocker chick Pink and her husband, Carey Hart, are having marital problems, Pink's man says thing are picture perfect between the two. Stories were swirling last week that Carey, who's a motorcross champ and owns a tattoo parlor in Las Vegas, was seen getting verrrry cozy with a young chippy. Pink's man says it's just gossip and that his marriage is just peachy.

The reports are "just a bunch of trash talk," Carey tells the Las Vegas Review-Journal. "It's just a nasty rumor. Everything's fine."

Carey is set to leave for Europe next week, to join Pink on tour. No doubt that decision came after a phone call from his wife who said, "Get over here now, before I knock your block off."

So which celebs have split this year? Check out our 2007 Celebrity Breakup Tracker.

That Brad Pitt. Saving the world one solar-powered house at a time.

Brad, who's helping to help rebuild New Orleans, is involved with the Global Green USA project and sat down for a chat with NBC's Ann Curry to talk about his passion for the environment and his and Angelina Jolie's new hometown. The interview, which airs Wednesday and Thursday on Today, taps into Brad's devotion to making this world a better place.

Here are some colorful excerpts:

On making the New Orleans re-build eco-friendly: “The first thing that gets sacrificed in affordable housing is lights, ventilation. You see here we got great light. There's windows everywhere. There is this great breeze coming in...And I think, for the family that's going to be here, especially being a father, that it's got to feel good to know that he's giving his family a better way of life. That he's able to contribute that way. Not only that, this house does not poison the environment.”

On one particular inspiration:
"I know a lot of the people here. I care very much for the area. I met a 60 year old man who...said [to me], 'I did everything right. I got a job. I bought a home. I raised my kids in that home. They did the same. Now...we're all split apart and we've been wiped out...What do I do?' And he's right...that's unacceptable. So any debate on 'should we rebuild, should we not' -- I'll take you on."

On taking advantage of natural elements:
"The idea that we pay utility bills is absolutely unnecessary...There's the sun. It's right there to be harnessed. You feel the breeze that's been created here. And we got water right out there. Any one of these can be harnessed...It's simple. It's smart. It's the way we have to be thinking. There's a lot of problems in the world right now because of our dependency on oil.”

I commend Brad for his work, but often wonder how far these celebrities go in their own personal life to help the environment. Does Brad shake his head disapprovingly when Angie blow dries her hair? Does he think, "Use the sun -- frizz is just one price we pay for the wellness of our planet"?

Find out what other celebrities are doing to go green in this new slide show. Plus: Find out what you can do in iVillage's i Go Green section.

Here's a fun blind item for you all to take a stab at, courtesy of the Daily News:

"Which celebrity actress' Xanax prescription is often passed around in Los Angeles nightclubs by an equally famous younger actress, who's friends with her daughter?"

I have my guess, but I don't want to taint yours. Guess away!

Madonna and Justin Timberlake have been working on her new album together, and now the unlikely duo will hit the stage for MTV, in what is bound to be a hot performance. Whether you like JT as a person or not, and/or you think it's time for Madge to wheel her old bones to the rec center for Bingo, you have to admit that they are both stellar performers. Together, they will, hopefully, be magic.

What are your thoughts on this upcoming duet? Excited? Don't care? Do tell!

I'm sorry for any of you that had tickets to Amy Winehouse's upcoming tour, but I'm happy for her that she's being forced to slow down and get help for the demons that ail her. The singer, who has been in and out of rehab in the last few weeks, after being hospitalized for, what is now believed to be a drug overdose, is finally putting her health first. Her record label released this statement:

"Due to the rigours involved in touring, Amy Winehouse has been advised to postpone her upcoming September US and Canadian tour dates. All ticket holders may obtain refunds at their point of purchase. Amy’s European and UK tour dates in October and November remain in place. Plans are being made to reschedule her US tour for early 2008. Until then, Amy has been ordered to rest and is working with medical professionals to address her health.”

Get well, Amy.

"My biggest inspiration and biggest competition is Justin Timberlake. He's the only other person that gets an across-the-board response and respect level - black radio, white radio. If Justin hadn't come out and killed the game, I can't say that my album, singles and videos would be on the same level that they're on. We push each other. I look at me and Justin like Prince and Michael Jackson in their day."

-- Kanye West, in the October issue of XXL magazine

Huh. Kanye's always all "I'm the best, I'm taking over the world, I'll beat everyone," that I didn't realize his enormous head lent him the capacity to hear anyone else's music.

Since giving birth to cutie daughter, Violet, in 2005, Jen had been laying low. Now the actress has her new NYC stage gig, in addition to new movies coming out. Jen will star in the terrorism thriller The Kingdom, due out Sept. 28, followed by the dramedy Juno, set for limited release in December.

My favorite role of Jen's to date is Mom. She and that Violet are just so darn adorable together.

When Lauren Conrad said she was going to start "dating like a guy" she meant it. Recently seen out kissing and cuddling with Paris Hilton's ex Josh Henderson, L.C. has found a new guy to pass the time with.

Page Six caught Lauren "holding hands and making out with dancer/actor Sean Zastoupil over the weekend at, her favorite hot spot, Les Deux in Hollywood." Their spy snitched, "They met a couple of years ago at a fashion show in San Diego for Dieter Schmitz's charity event RH4T and just recently reconnected."

Well, good for Lauren for playing the field. We wouldn't want her to end up with someone like Heidi Montag's gem of guy, Spencer Pratt.

For more on The Hills, and to see who's winning in the Team Lauren vs. Team Heidi battle, check out our recap of last night's show at TV Cocktail.

The clock is ticking on Cuba Gooding Jr.'s marriage. The Jerry Maguire Oscar winner has been seen around NYC allegedly hooking up with lots of random women, none of which were his wife. The Daily News reports that the actor was at Tenjune Friday night and "made out with about five different girls at his table," claims a witness.

"First he made out with two girls. Then a fight broke out because some idiot thought he could hang out at his table, [but Cuba] was undeterred," the source told the paper. "After that he made out with at least three other girls. He does not discriminate, either — Asians, blonds, brunettes. The girls were getting p—d at each other also because they were like, ‘He just made out with me!'"

This isn't the first time Cuba has been seen allegedly messing around on his wife. The paper received a similar report in June of the actor trying to pick up a girl in the parking lot of Katsyua in the Los Angeles. "He kept asking her to get in the car and go with him," said a witness. "The hilarious part about this is that you can see he's got a designer baby seat in the back of his car while he's hitting on my friend."

He was also seen making out with a brunette in New York in February 2006.

Isn't that lovely? Loser.

I'm one of those people who laughs when people fall. I can't help it. In my defense, I will be the first to laugh at myself when I do something klutzy (which is often), too, so I can't feel that bad about having a hearty chuckle when I heard this story about Jessica Simpson.

Seems Jess bruised her sniffer quite badly, on the set of her new army movie, Major Movie Star, when a prop got away from her. "She was in a combat scene and accidentally hit herself with a big gun on her nose. But she was able to continue shooting the movie,” Jess' rep told Access Hollywood. Jessica thought she had done some permanent damage, telling In Touch that she thought she actually broke her nose." It’s all bruised and swollen. The magic of makeup is doing wonders. Hopefully, when the swelling goes down, my nose will go back to normal.”

Come on -- that's funny. Especially how her rep says "she hit herself with a big gun on her nose." That part kills me.

Asked if there really is something for us to be blabbing about and if John and Cameron are officially dating, a source close to John told the mag, "Yes, it's definitely true."

There you have it.

It's a day of celeb sightings!

Another FOB in Chicago rubbed elbows with celeb chef Emeril Lagasse this weekend. Our spy said that Emeril "was drinking Chopin vodka on the rocks and he wanted an onion garnish -- but they didn't have onions." The "Bam!" Master "seemed to be celebrating something and was dancing with the waitresses to be funny."

Love that Emeril -- man knows how to have a good time whether he is in the kitchen or out!

"I had a prime people-watching table on the balcony at Tao in Vegas this weekend. We had heard the DJ say something about his "man K-Fed in the mother [bleeping] building!", but after scanning the crowd several times we didn't see him. Then all of a sudden, there he was in the DJ booth. The DJs and Kevin all seemed like buddies and passed around a bottle of Patron, that they swigged from directly. Kevin ad-libbed to a few songs (basically saying "ugh!" "what?!" and "I can't hear you!" over and over), and he had a flashlight in his hand that he kept shining around all over the place, either to prevent people from taking pictures or to illuminate his other hand, which he kept throwing "west coast" street signs with. To Fed's credit, the music got pretty good when he came out, but I was waiting and waiting for them to play "Popozao" and it never happened. What, am I the only one who liked that song?"

Thanks for the dirt, Marissa, but, yes, you might be the only one who liked that song.

Meanwhile, the Fedster has snagged himself a primetime deal! Check out the details at TV Cocktail

Jessica Biel might want to check in on her boyfriend, Justin Timberlake. Two different sources reported that the sexy singer was canoodling with a different brunette this weekend, at an HBO party on the roof of the Tribeca Grand in NYC.

"They were obviously into each other," said a spy for Page Six, of Justin and the "bronze-skinned" beauty. "It was just the two of them . . . he had no entourage at all." Another source dished to the paper, "He is notorious. He will [bleep] anything."

That's not exactly what you want to hear about your man, huh?

"It's amazing how you can't do anything now without people making up stuff," says Criss Angel to People.com, about the media frenzy that he created by being photographed holding hands with Britney Spears. At 4 A.M.

"It's amazing what people think," the freaky Illusionist said about his relationship with the pop star. "We're not together. Her manager is my manager, and I'm helping with one of her shows. I'm helping with her appearance on MTV."

Which gives credibility to another rumor, that Britney is actually going to perform at the VMAs in September. Will the illusion be that Brit has got her stuff together? Hopefully, for her sake.

Regis Philbin really might have ruined one of the biggest days in Nicole Richie's life. After prying into Joel Madden's personal biz on Live! With Regis and Kelly, Reege let the cat out of the bag that Joel was planning to propose to his pregnant lovely.

Now it looks the proposal may have actually taken place. Though there's no confirmation from their reps (and Nicole is not rocking any ring at the moment), news of the possible engagement was announced Friday night by a local radio DJ who came on stage after an acoustic concert by Joel and his brother Benji. A source at the show, told Us Weekly that the DJ “thanked the Madden brothers for performing and announced to the crowd to give a warm congratulations on [Thursday night’s] engagement of Joel and Nicole.”

Joel didn't actually give anything away after the performance. The witness said, “Joel did not say anything about the engagement other than to wave to the crowd and acknowledge the roar when the radio personality made the announcement. He then walked off stage.”

So maybe they are, maybe they aren't. Nicole and Joel are probably waiting to make the formal announcement to Diane Sawyer or something.

The subpoenas continued to fly this weekend in the Britney Spears/Kevin Federline custody battle, with Britney's former rehab facility slapped with papers. Kevin's lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, confirms to PEOPLE that Promises Treatment Center was hit with the documents Saturday morning, saying, "An executive administrator from Promises rehab facility was served with a subpoena."

Britney spent a month at Promises earlier in the year and her manager at the time said she was "successfully" released. So why go after the rehab facility? "Strategically I don't think they are concerned with the treatment, but how she responded to that treatment," says a Pepperdine law professor. "Specifically, if she participated as she was supposed to. Did she have a positive attitude, did she complete it successfully. Or was she a screw up?"

Meanwhile, as his peeps continued to hunt down people to testify against Brit, Kevin partied in Las Vegas this weekend. "He was drinking straight from the vodka and Jagermeister bottles," an onlooker said. "I didn't see him with a drink in his hand that much, but he drank out of the bottles a few times."

I want Sean Preston and Jayden James to come live with me.

Music man Uncle Kracker, of "Follow Me" fame, was arrested on a second-degree forcible sex offense charge in North Carolina early Friday morning, TMZ.com reports.

Raleigh police arrested Uncle Krackhead, whose real name is Matthew Shafer, and who used to be Kid Rock's DJ, at an Embassy Suites hotel at around 4:45 a.m. He is being held in North Carolina's Wake County Jail on $5 million bond and will appear before a judge later today.

Good Charlotte rockers Joel and Benji Madden took the stage yesterday at Live! With Regis and Kelly. After their performance, Reeg tried to make conversation with Joel, asking about his pregnant girl, Nicole Richie.

"Yeah, we're expecting a baby," he said, to cheers from the audience. "I did it." Joel, who's is quickly becoming one my favorites, said that he's been reading up on the subject, with books such as What to Expect When You're Expecting, The Expectant Father and Baby Signs. How freakin' cute?

Anyway, Regis then went on to put the engagement pressure on the daddy-to-be. "You're going to present her, maybe, with – did I hear the right thing, or should I not even talk about this?" Regis asked. "A little ring, or something?"

Joel's response? "I was hoping it would be a surprise, but uh..."

I'm sure Nicole didn't fall off the couch while watching this. We've heard she's already planning the wedding at her daddy's home. No harm, no foul, Reege.

Come on! First of all, doesn't Ryan Seacrest already have enough to do? Dude has like 47 jobs as it is, and now he's scheduled to handle pre-game and halftime hosting duties of the Super Bowl on Fox next February!

I know Ry knows a thing or two about music -- and he's supposedly played football in high school -- but the Super Bowl? It's just wrong. What's next? Will he be the moderator in the Presidential debate?

If the NFL wanted a more widely appealing person to host, why not choose someone like Nick Lachey, who is a manly avid sports fan? Ryan is just too frosted for football. There is a thing called "overexposure" and Ryan has acheived it, like, 12 jobs ago. Please, stick with Idol, and the radio show, and the red carpet. No sports!!!

A while back I reported that Victoria Beckham, Katie Holmes and Jennifer Lopez were all taking part in a monthly book club, organized by Posh herself.

Well, I think they find their next literary classic! Page Six is reporting that Vicki has signed a deal with HarperEntertainment to publish "That Extra Half Inch: Hair, Heels and Everything in Between." The new book will be "handbag-size style guide" set out to help women "learn how to dress for special occasions, shop for everyday wear and where to look for it, define the accessory look for you," as well as "helpful hints for the holidays, making the most of your wardrobe and how to feel confident and great every time you leave the house."

I tend to give Posh a hard time on occasion, but today I will just commend her for sticking with what she knows and attempting to beautify the world with that knowledge. The girl is all about fashion -- whether or not I get it is not the isssue.

Thanks for your guesses to the earlier Who Said It?

Holla back, girl!The sexy lady behind that very down-to-earth quote is gorgeous rocker chick, and mom to son, Kingston, Gwen Stefani!

In the new issue of In Style, Gwen dishes on wanting to have another baby ("But I can't wait to get pregnant again. It's so fun and consuming and romantic,") her life as a working mom ("I definitely don't get enough sleep, but I'd rather spend time with him. I've got this extra-fun, amazing, little guy who just wants to hang out with me,") and how domestic her hubby, Gavin Rossdale, is (He's a creative cook. He makes whatever I crave, even when nothing seems to be left in the fridge.")

You're jealous, I know. Me too.

Justin Timberlake's girl has agreed to a contract "that explicitly details the bare minimum fans will see." In the movie, Jessica plays a stripper trying to earn money to raise her terminally ill son.

Well, she'd get that cash a lot quicker if she took it all off.

"Britney showed up for Allure's cover shoot on time and ready to work," she writes in the September issue of the mag. She says that, though Brit was "agreeable and cooperative," she did make some questionable decisions. "She was entirely unselfconscious: She took off her wig and then stripped down to the waist, for no apparent reason, before sitting for hair and makeup."

When Britney did get dressed, she wore "a shoulder-length brown wig over her own closely cropped blonde hair," as well as a Cartier bracelet and her own Dolce & Gabbana jeans.

The photos are definitely an improvement to what we've seen of Brit lately, but don't expect a revealing "in her own words" tell-all from the mag. "She missed four appointments for an interview with Allure," the author writes. So the magazine decide to go with a first-person essay on Britney's infuriating behavior.

Burn.

For more on Britney Spears -- like the rumored lesbian sex romps -- check out the latest edition of Daily Blabber TV.

"Everyone's in such a rush to show they're sexy. Anyone can be sexy. We all have the same body parts. It's pretty boring. Life's not so short that you need to give it all away in five seconds. That was never my thing."

Is it:
Gwen Stefani
Scarlett Johannson
Angelina Jolie
Halle Berry

Take your guesses and check back later for the big reveal!

You've got the look
I want to know better
You've got the look
That's all together
Working
Day or night
Jordache has the look that's riiiight

That's how my sick brain works. I can still remember the words to a jeans commercial from 1982, but I, somehow, seem to lose my car keys every five minutes.

Well, Jordache is back, and Heidi Klum is doing them justice. The supermodel is the new bod of the denim company -- and what a body she is. After three kids, this woman is to die for. I want to hate her -- with her tiny little waist and perky boobs -- but I can't. Heidi and hubby Seal just seem so darn nice and happy. When asked how she keeps her goods looking so, well, good, Heidi told PEOPLE:

"I have three children. That keeps you busy all the time. I work and we do a lot of things that are active. We work in the garden. We jump on the trampoline. I just started playing tennis with my husband. We climb in the tree house with the children. We go to the park and feed the ducks. We are always mobile."

Jeez, I really need to start gardening.

Us Weekly reports that the new couple were out and about in New York Tuesday night. "They went out to several places...It was the two of them, getting to know each other, out on the town." According to a source, Cammie and John have been circling each other for a while. "This was technically not their first time hanging out...they've hung out together with friends before. But this was the first time together like this. It's new and developing...but they really like each other and it went well," the spy said.

John has a thing for flighty blondes, I guess. I would have been much happier to see him with Mandy.

Well, here's a juicy tidbit that will come as no surprise to you -- Spencer is a fraud. TMZ is reporting that Heidi's "pink diamond" is really a lavender, lemon amethyst! The ring is surrounded by diamonds, but it hardly costs more than a night of heavy partying at Les Deux, with some Playboy bunnies. The rock retails for $2,890 -- which is equal to about $2,889.99 more than anything that comes out of Spence's mouth.

... Mandy Moore?

The singers were seen huggin' it out and having lunch together in SoHo. They are both the sensitive crooning type, so I can see it. You?

By the way, have you heard John's new song, "Dreamin' with a Broken Heart"? It's the type of song that makes you cry in your car. Or is that just me?

The latest allegations against the troubled star? Oh, just a little issue of her making wild demands on her nannies like, they have to sleep in bed with her, Britney getting sloshed in front of Sean and Jayden and stripping in front of the staff! Us Weekly has the story from a bunch of ex-employees of the pop star, who didn't hold a lot back.

"She drinks in front of the kids,” one said. “At first, the drinks would help her loosen up and not be so angry. But she’d inevitably drink too much and be out of it, at which point the nannies would take care of the kids.”

And multiple sources confirm that Brit is not shy about showing her bod: “She’ll strip down in front of staff, nannies, whomever,” says one. “She’ll ask, ‘Do I look sexy? Do I look pretty?’ She’s extremely insecure.”

Britney's problem seems to stem from who she's hiring. "She just cares about whether they're young and fun and like to drink and party," says a source: “She hires people to be her friends.”

My brain might explode from Britney this morning.

For more on Britney and her nasty paternity battle, watch the latest edition of Daily Blabber TV.

Another reason for the rush-rush nups? Nicole wants to tie the knot before Sept. 28, when she must complete her four days in county jail for her DUI conviction. Friends say the bride-to-be is hoping to get married, spend a few days with her new husband and then check in to jail.

Whether or not it will happen remains to be seen. Nic wants a big wedding -- so far the guest list includes about 200 people. "And pulling off a wedding that size, this quickly, well, it ain't easy," says Nicole's pal. Though the location of the nups is said to be set. A source says that Nicole's dad, Lionel Richie, has offered his Bel-Air home, and, sources say, Nic does love the idea of getting married at her pop's place.

Getting married while she's pregnant is a great idea for Nicole. With the extra weight on her, girl is looking all glowy and gorgeous! I'm totally rooting for these two (err, three)!

You can just expect a story each day about who Kevin Federline is putting on the stand against Britney Spears, as the subpoenas in their custody case just keep piling up.

Last night's victim? Britney's former assistant, Shannon Funk, who took over for the previously summoned Alli Sims, for a total of three weeks or so. Shannon did happen to be working for Brit during the disastrous OK! magazine shoot, where Britney acted all wacky, allegedly letting her dog poop all over designer duds. Shannon is also said to be dishing lots of stories to the mag, for an upcoming story on her former employee.

Kevin seems to know what he's doing with this one -- Shannon's already singing like a canary and she hasn't even sworn to tell the truth yet.
For more on Britney and her nasty paternity battle, watch the latest edition of Daily Blabber TV.

Is another rock star marriage about to bite the dust?

Super cool singer Pink and her motorcross hubby, Carey Hart, may have a problem. While Pink was in Europe last week, Corey was supposedly making time, at a Hollywood club, with a young groupie. An eyewitness told Star:

“It sure didn’t look like he was married that night! He had a cute blonde in a tight dress sitting on his lap all night. They were laughing and drinking vodka with her arms wrapped around him in a corner VIP booth. Nobody seemed to make a big deal out of Carey making out with her. It was as if this was nothing new for him. Carey never mentioned Pink the entire night. It seemed like everyone just thought he wasn’t with her anymore, that they had broken up. They were seriously making out. It looked like Pink was definitely not on his mind. When the club closed, he and the blonde left hand in hand. They didn’t look like they were about to say their good-byes!”

Uh-oh. I hope it's not true. I was just rockin' out to Pink in my car yesterday, thinking about how much I like that girl. And for Carey's sake, I hope it was all just a misunderstanding, because Pink does not strike me as a girl you want to mess with. Carey could easily have to change his name to Black and Blue.

When I first heard about this Brad Garrett incident, the story was frightening. There were rumors that the Everybody Loves Raymond star lost his marbles and allegedly attacked a paparazzi photographer, after another lensman called the actor a racist. Now TMZ.com has posted a clear video of the incident, in which they say Brad knocked the camera so hard, it went into the photographer's face and gave him a swollen eye.

I watched the video and it seems to me that this is just an instance of the paparazzi trying to play the victim. Brad definitely pushed the camera away from his own face, and if the 6'8" comedian used some force, I can't really blame him. But he certainly didn't "attack" anyone -- he was obviously being harassed.

Watch the video here and decide for yourself. Let me know what you think.

Thanks for your guesses! The lady behind the revealing quote is...

... Jennifer Lopez!

Doesn't it seem silly that someone who has had so much success already, in music, movies and fashion, would still be concerned with it all slipping away? J.Lo told FoxNews.com that, even though she's done well in many different fields, it's not necessarily the secret to making it big.

"I think if music is your passion, then stick to music, or if acting is your passion, then stay with that,” she said. “But for me, I wanted to try a variety of things and it’s the diversity that I love. But everybody is different and at the end of the day you just have to follow your heart."

My heart says I'd like to work for about five more years and then move to Tahiti, where I'll make my living, very happily, selling yarn bracelets, on the beach, to tourists.

Rumer is totally channelling Mary Katherine Gallagher, the lusty, clutsy Catholic school girl (fabulously played by Molly Shannon).

I just don't get it.

Which entertainment-fashionista-Jane of all Trades, who's worried that her fame might be fleeting, gave this quote:

“I wake up every day and I worry that it all might end; you just never know in this industry. No matter how successful you are, this is Hollywood — it's unpredictable. But it is this that motivates me just to keep working harder."

Is it...
Jessica Simpson
Hilary Duff
Jennifer Lopez
Gwen Stefani

Take a guess and check back later for the answer!

Sounds like Lindsay Lohan is getting quite the awakening at her current rehab facility. The star, who TMZ.com has confirmed is at Cirque in Orem, Utah, a treatment center reportedly run by Mormons, is said to be a "model patient" and is not getting any kind of Paris Hilton special treatment.

I'll say. Sources inside the facility say that LiLo attends12-step meetings every day, talks with psychiatrists and psychologists, and receives "other medical treatment." Lindsay supposedly shares a room with two other patients, and spends time during the day and night washing dishes, cleaning toilets and doing laundry.

Um, does Miss Hannigan run this place?

TMZ also got a scoop that the day of her arrest, Lindsay went to an intense, medical detox facility in L.A. for eight days, before going directly to Cirque. A Cirque insider says Lindsay has called the program is "life-saving."

Let's hope so.

This should give you Brangelina-haters some fuel.

Remember how Life and Style had all those adorable photos of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie celebrating Maddox's sixth birthday, in a military-themed party? The tab had tons of shots of Brad and Mad (that rhymes!) riding ATV's and playing Capture the Flag, while Angie looked on with Zahara and Shiloh. Well, Perez Hilton got an exclusive scoop and says that Angie is pretty perturbed at how it all went down. The photos were allegedly taken by a papaparazzi --- with a super powerful camera from far away!

“Jolie is a control freak and she is pissed because she didn’t have control over the photos,” the source tells Perez. “Brad and Angelina were going to send out a set of photos and get coverage they wanted and control they wanted. Then, when the Life & Style cover hit newsstands, it sort of took the wind out of that possibility.”

Could "coverage they wanted" mean "money they wanted?" I'm just speculating. Go to it, kids!

Contrary to reports last week that Amy Winehouse had done the smart thing and checked into rehab, the singer has chosen to deal with her alleged drug overdose, that sent her to the ER, on her own.

Perez Hilton is reporting that, after having her stomach pumped and given a shot of Adrenaline, the Rehab singer sneaked out of the hospital and locked herself in a hotel room to recover. Amy was said to have been on three-day drug binge that had her taking ecstasy and cocaine -- in addition to smoking heroin.

Amy spoke to News of the World and claims to have seen the light:

“It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. It was just crazy—one of the most terrifying moments of my life. I don’t know how to explain what happened. I don’t really know myself. I can’t remember what I looked like. I couldn’t recognise myself. It was terrifying—I was terrified. I was so out of control. It just happened. It shocked me. I’m sorry—I just don’t know what got into me. I never want to feel that way again.I’ve scared myself this time. I was all over the place. I know things have got to change. I have to sort myself out. I’m fine. I’ll be back at work on Monday. I’m fine, honest.”

This is just, so obviously, a very troubled girl, in extreme denial. Someone needs to step in before it's too late.

As we've done before, Tracy and I are debating some of the very, very important celebrity issues we disagree on. Today's topic? Gwyneth Paltrow's new W cover, on stands August 17th.

Suzy: I laughed when I read your entry about Gwyneth's sexy W cover. You said:

"I never thought Gwyn was anything to write home about, she was more Plain Jane to me than Hot Hollywood Beauty, but she's sexin' it up a bit... Girl's all tan and glowy, rocking a pouty mouth. I dig the new look."

After all her years of being a fashion trendsetter, as the envy of millions with that pin straight CBK hair and dating some of the world's most eligible bachelors (hello, Brad Pitt), now is the very first time you see her as a "Hollywood beauty"?

Tracy: I always thought she was overrated. Designer clothes would just hang on her pencil-thin frame (which you can't see much of in this photo, thankfully), and just because she's dated some of Hollywood's hottest men -- which, again, I will never understand -- that still didn't make her hot in my eyes. Gwyn is usually just so vanilla. And, finally, on the W cover, she actually showed some pizzazz. Some sprinkles, if you will.

Suzy: Pardon my nastiness for a moment, but don't you think she kinda looks like... a man? I know it says "Goddess Gwyneth" in big letters under the photo, but I'm wondering if it's someone dressed up as her. In fact, it looks like a gentleman I saw on the 2 train the other night. I know there's no Adam's apple, but magazines are big on the airbrushing.

Tracy: Now back it up a minutes, I never said Gwyneth looked pretty, but I do think the tan, goddessy look is different and sexier than her "I'm so boring" look of old -- even if it is "man-sexy."

Suzy: Let's agree to disagree, but I'll leave you with the words of two wise women known as Salt and Peppa: "Whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty fine man."

Finally! "Rehab" singer, Amy Winehouse has given in and, according to London's Daily Mirror, has checked in to a rehab facility.

After it was announced that Amy was hospitalized for "exhaustion" on Wednesday, it was just a matter of time before the truth came out. Amy's father-in-law, Lance Fielder, blamed her breakdown on massive booze and drugs binges, and he dismissed her record company's excuse of "severe exhaustion" as a "cover-up".

A worried friend of Amy's said, "It's not an exaggeration to say that unless she sorts herself out, this relentless dalliance with drink and drugs will only have one ending. And it won't be happy. It's time for some tough love which is why we've taken her to get help."

Amy is in a private wing at The Priory in Roehampton, in South West London, and her parents and new husband, Blake Fielder-Civil are said to be with her.

The article, though? The same old Gwyn. Talking about maybe having more kids with her hubby, Coldplay's Chris Martin, dishing on potty-training and how normal her life is. "When Chris gets home," she says, "we're not going to do anything other than what any regular couple does."

You know, like doing yoga with Madonna....

Even the beautiful and famous have to do their civil duty.

After postponing jury duty numerous times, Brad Pitt showed up in a Los Angeles court Thursday -- and actually got picked to be on a case! Angelina Jolie's man was assigned to serve on a DUI case, but lucked out when the defendant took the state's deal, setting Brad free.

Us Weekly reports that Brad was quietly reading his book, while waiting to be called, when he was interrupted by woman who showed him a mag cover claiming he and Angelina split. "Is this true?" she asked. The nosey lady ruined it for everybody else, and Brad was moved to a private room.

How annoying! I totally would have gone a different route to get Brad talking. I would have said something like, "This waiting is sucking the life out of me. Gum?"

What would you have said to Brad?

Mel B. got all Scary Spice on Eddie Murphy, last night on Larry King Live. The Spice Girl, who has been quite vocal about her feelings towards her ex and baby's daddy, held nothing back when talking about, what she calls, Eddie's "unacceptable" behavior.

"I think the most important thing to me is that Angel knows her dad," she told King. "And her dad is Eddie Murphy, and she has every right to know who he is. I think he's been extremely disrespectful and I don't think anybody should be allowed to get away with saying what he said whilst I was pregnant...Even when the DNA test results were in there was still nothing further said, which I found baffling. After all this, and still nothing? It's unacceptable."

Hurt by Ed's public claim that he wasn't sure the baby was his, and that the pregnancy wasn't planned, Mel said that she had to speak up.

"I wish we could handle it privately," she said, "But when my name is thrown out there when I'm four months pregnant, with the...'is it mine, I don't know,' of course I'm going to stand up for myself. I was waiting and hoping that he would do what he said he was going to do which was take care of the situation and be responsible. I believed that."

Moving on with her life, the singer talked openly about her secret marriage to to movie producer Stephen Belafonte. "We wanted it to be a private thing right now, and a commitment just for me and him. That was important."

Here's hoping Mel gets her happy ending.

We haven't heard much from reformed bad boy Colin Farrell lately. Since courts put the kibosh on his sex tape in April of 2006 and his rehab stint in December of 2005, Colin seems to have gotten his life together.

Good thing, because the sexy Irishman is said to be expecting a new little four-leafed clover with current main squeeze, Muireann McDonnell. According to Perez Hilton, Murieann, who is a medical student in Dublin, is trying to keep her pregnancy under wraps for now.

“She’s just under three months along now,” says PH's source. “They’re trying to keep it quiet.”

Colin already has a son, James, almost 4, with American model Kim Bordenave.

Dude is going to have a kid in every country -- at least he'll never be lonely. Congrats.

Reese Witherspoon, you sly dog!

Avon's newest spokeswoman had a tough day doing press for her latest gig, but probably got through it all knowing Jake Gyllenhaal was stashed away in a hotel room just waiting for her! Us Weekly says that Jake hung out in a "secret guest suite" reserved just for his lady, at the Regent Beverly Wilshire hotel, while he waited for Reese to finish up and meet him for lunch. After, the duo went back to Jake's place and spent the night!

So much for the rumors that Reese and Ryan Phillippe are reconciling. A source close to Reese said there's no way that's happening. “If any of her friends thought for a second that she was considering getting back together with that a—hole, they would all set up camp at her house to stop her!”

Good to know!

Um, how about they actually come out as a couple before they start "committing" to each other with jewelry?

Life and Style is reporting that Justin Timberlake was seen shopping in Santa Monica for a "promise ring" for his girlfriend, Jessica Biel. Though the mag says that J.T. isn't ready to take the marital leap just yet, an insider says, “Justin isn’t ready to propose, but he wants to make a commitment to her. Justin says Jess is his dream girl. He wants to give her a symbol of his affection and love.”

I have an idea. Why doesn't Justin take Jessica to, I don't know, the upcoming VMAs, so she can show off that ring of hers and we can actually see them together. It's annoying already.

Apparently love costs plenty. If you're Jennifer Lopez's ex Ojani Noa, it costs exactly $544,814.21. That's the amount Jen's first husband was ordered to pay up to the star, after it was decided that he had violated their marital settlement confidentiality agreement.

Ojani, who was married to Jennifer for a mere six months, planned on writing a tell-all book entitled, J-Lo and Me, which Mrs. Marc Anthony said violated the terms of their marital agreement, stating her ex would not make "disparaging or negative statements" about the singer/actress/dancer. As soon as Jen got wind of the book she filed a restraining order and preliminary injunction against Ojani, then ordered him to arbitration.

When Jen's ex repeatedly refused to show up to arbitration, he was ordered to hand over the dough. Sucks for him.

Whew! Chris Noth, a.k.a. Sex and the City's Mr. Big, has finally signed on the dotted line and will, I repeat, will be appearing in the reunion movie. What choice did he have, really? To not agree to be in the movie and be hated by women everywhere? Not likely.

I'm just hoping this means that Carrie won't be going back to the Russian. That storyline had me crying in my vodka.

Lindsay Lohan's former bodyguard is speaking up about what life was like for Lindsay in her teens. Tony Almeida, who worked for LiLo from 2002-2005, told the new issue of In Touch that Lindsay's parents, Dina and Michael Lohan, were train wrecks when it came to guiding the star.

"From a young age, she dealt with her father's physical, emotional and drug abuses as well as her mother's drinking," the former employee said. "Lindsay was the family cash cow - and she resented it. They counted on her to pay their bills . . . I saw Lindsay exhausted, begging her mother for some time off."

Tony goes on to say that Lindsay's parents let her drink, shack up with boys at age 14, like her ex, Aaron Carter, and do whatever she wanted, as long it would further her career. Which is why he wasn't surprised, as the years went on, that Lindsay turned to harder substances. The ex-bodyguard admits to catching Lindsay and "another celebrity" sniffing "white powder" in a club closet, when Linds was 18. He says she cried for help a number of times by cutting herself and threatening suicide.

So sad. Hopefully Lindsay is getting the help and support she needs now --- and that her parents are keeping a safe distance.

Do you even remember the last time you saw Britney Spears looking this good? No? Well, you're not going to believe your eyes.

You might think this photo, in the ad for Britney's newest fragrance, Believe, was taken in 1999, but, according to Access Hollywood, who spoke to a rep for Elizabeth Arden, the company that manufactures the troubled pop star's perfume line, this gorgeous photo was actually shot earlier this summer. Despite several reports that Brit used a body double for the shoot, the rep says this bod belongs to Brit. Here's the official statement:

"We recently shot Britney Spears for the print campaign for her new fragrance Britney Spears Believe, in Santa Monica. It is true that Britney did leave the set; however, she returned after a brief time. Cayli was the wardrobe assistant on the shoot. We used her as a stand in so that we could set up the lighting while Britney was off the set. When Britney returned, we shot the national print ad with her.The only person in the national print ad for Britney's Believe fragrance is Britney Spears."

I can believe her body looks that good. I mean, nobody said anything about Photoshop, and besides, Britney has done a lot of naked swimming lately.

I admit to being a total sucker when it comes to love and all that gooey crap, so I was really happy for American Idol's Gina Glocksen, who got engaged on stage, last night, in her hometown. Gina's longtime boyfriend, Joe Ruzicka, surprised his love by showing up center stage in Rosemont, Illinois, getting down on one knee, and declaring he was "the biggest Gina Glocksen fan of all."

Check out the YouTube video here. It's some of the mushiest mush I've ever seen -- and I love every single second of it.

Kate invited Dax up to Canada for some summer lovin' -- and to hang with her family. The couple got their kiss on while visiting with Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn, and spies say Dax made quite the impression, playing tennis with Kate's two brothers, Oliver and Wyatt, and even teaching Kate's son, Ryder, how to fish.

“Dax fit right in," a source blabbed. "One day, all the guys took a boat to an outdoor market and ate hot dogs. Dax and Kurt were laughing like they had known each other for years."

Supposedly a pal close to Kate says that she thinks the actress has made a weird choice in dating Dax but, really, Kate's ex-husband, Black Crowe's Chris Robinson, wasn't a weird choice? I think it makes total sense. You?

I bet Nick Carter was hoping that, while he and his boy band, The Backstreet Boys, are promoting their much-awaited new album (um, no), questions would fly about his ex gal pal Paris Hilton, and all her recent, um, activities.

Let me tell you something, Nick was ready to answer -- and there's no love lost between those two. In a radio interview with WPLJ in New York yesterday, Nick admitted that, much like the rest of us, he's so done with Paris.

"I don't keep up with her, I lost her in the black and white. I don't think about her anymore, I don't care anymore. Half of America doesn't care either!"

Who would of thought I would fall in love with a Backstreet Boy at the ripe old age of 32?

Proud parents, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, surprised Mad with a weekend full of partying. Life and Style Weekly has the exclusive pics of the military-themed festivities. Maddox looked like he was having the time of his life, riding around with Brad on ATVs and playing Capture the Flag with his pals. Even Angelina and Zahara dressed in camouflage!

And what does the world's luckiest kid get as a gift for the big 6? A new dirt bike, leather jacket and helmet.

He's just a chip off the Brad Pitt block, now, isn't he?

There was no smiling for rising star Lily Allen, at the Los Angles airport on Sunday, when the songstress was searched and detained for five hours, after being stopped by U.S. Immigration officials.

"Understandably she was upset," her London rep confirms to PEOPLE. "She has no idea why she was singled out for such treatment and found the whole experience distressing."

The surprising situation ended with Lily's U.S visa being revoked, just as she was preparing to begin her tour. "I am trying everything I can to sort this situation out," Lily said in a statement. "I want my fans to know that I will do everything I can to be back in America in September. I don't like letting my fans down and this is a situation that I am sure we can sort."

Lily, who had flown into the U.S. from Australia to attend the MTV video music awards launch in Las Vegas, is said to have been hassled by Immigration and Naturalization Services due to her arrest in London in March when she allegedly punched a paparazzi.

And that's why they are keeping her out of the country? Sometimes I just don't understand the government.

I guess after ten years of being with P. Diddy, his ex and baby mama, Kim Porter, would have just as many topics to talk about as Diddy had names.

The actress opened up to OK!, talking about everything from why she and the music mogul split, to his "friendship" with Sienna Miller, to the "embarrassment" that was Diddy's relationship with Jennifer Lopez:

On why their love affair ended: "I'd been in an on-again, off-again relationship with Mr. Combs for about 10 years, and it came to a point where it was time for me to move on with my life," mused the model. "I had invested a lot of time in that relationship, and it wasn't going where it should have been going. So it was time to [end it]."

On Diddy's closeness with Sienna Miller:
"They're just friends. That wasn't the cause [of the split]."

On his alleged infidelity:
"I will never sit here and say that Puffy -- or any man -- is 100 percent faithful. I just don't believe it. Some of you are, but I'm not going to sit here and say that I didn't believe that he cheated on me. I would never say that. I'm aware that he's cheated."

On her ex's relationship with Jennifer Lopez:
"It was an embarrassment. I never thought it was real. I knew what was going on with him. Despite what you see in print and when the cameras are flashing, what's going on in someone's heart may be totally different. He was still [in love] with me. I never looked at their relationship [as serious]."

Sounds like quite the twisted and complicated relationship to me. Kim should frame this interview and place it on the inside of her front door -- just in case Diddy ever tries to come crawling back.

As the story goes, Britney took her former assistant and a handful of male extras from her video shoot back to a rooftop pool at L.A’s Standard Downtown hotel, at 2 a.m., and that's when all the partying went down.

“Britney was the first one to undress, and then everyone else followed,” Matt told Us. “I turned around and saw that she was topless and she had fake tattoos of flowers on her nipples from the shoot. I was told all she wanted to do that night was kiss a boy,” he continued. "And that’s what she did. Mission accomplished.”

Later, the pop star and her new pals played a little Truth or Dare. "I was dared to get naked and get out of the pool and walk as though I was on a catwalk in a fashion show,” said the boy. “Britney was laughing really hard.”

Supposedly, Britney was scheduled to be playing with her little boys, Sean and Jayden, at the time she was romping in the swimming pool, and K-Fed had to come to the rescue.

Let me just say this: Us Weekly, you had me at hello.

Former boy band-er Justin Timberlake and former girl band-er Beyonce can thank their ex-group members for letting them go solo. Each music superstar grabbed a total of seven nominations, which were announced today on Total Request Live. Rhianna and Kanye West tied for second with five noms each, while skinny-mini Amy Winehouse snagged three.

Those up for the biggest award of the night, Video of the Year are: J.T.'s "What Goes Around ... Comes Around," Beyoncé's "Irreplaceable," Kanye's "Stronger," Rihanna's "Umbrella," Amy's "Rehab" and Justice's "D.A.N.C.E."

The awards extravaganza, which will include four new categories this year, will broadcast live from the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas at 9 p.m. on Sept. 9.

Ladies, take note. Michelle Pfeiffer is just shy of 50(!) and girl is lookin' FAB-U-LOUS!

Mich, accompanied by her hubby, David E. Kelley, received a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame yesterday. In my opinion, the honor is about 20 years too late. I mean, have you seen Grease 2? It's one of my all-time fave flicks, and my friend Karen and I spent many a night trying to perfect Michelle's moves from her Cool Rider dance. Every once in a while, when the wine has been flowing, Kar will break out the steps that Michelle has made famous.

Sigh, I live for those nights.

In a very un-Hollywood turn of events, Chris Rock has passed a paternity test -- and is not the father of alleged scammer Kali Bowyer's 13-year-old son.

Chris and his wife, Malaak, released have released this statement:

"After multiple lies, including that Chris refused to establish paternity and after finding out [Bowyer] has an extensive criminal record, we personally asked the court to help us establish paternity . . . Last week, it was concluded through DNA testing that Chris is not the father."

The funny man intends to pursue "all legal remedies" against Bowyer and is asking her to give any money she made from the tabloids to Georgia charities for disadvantaged boys and girls.

I bet Eddie Murphy is pissed. Come to think of it, he's probably the kid's father.

"These magazines continue to write lies about our clients to sell magazines,” a spokesperson told Us Weekly.

Another source close to Hollywood's hottest couple told FoxNews.com, “Ever since they got together, everybody has been saying that they're entering Splitsville. It’s all a load of BS. They’re very happy together.”

So there's your update -- well, for this morning, anyway.

Contrary to reports that Madonna's adoption of baby David have stalled, the music mogul's rep, Liz Rosenberg, says all is going well in efforts to make the Malawaian boy an official member of the Ritchie clan.

“The information regarding the adoption that was reported on Reuters is simply not accurate,” Rosenberg told Us Weekly. “The adoption process is going along very well and according to proper procedure.”

Another source close to Madge said that stories that Madonna had given the government official a free plane ticket to London, to check out David's lavish home life, are completely false.

"Madonna is unfortunately not one of those people who gives out free airline tickets!” the source insists. “She doesn't really give out anything for free. She definitely followed all proper procedures in this case and didn't give him the plane fare or money for expenses."

Well, I don't know if that's something to brag about, in general, but, in this case, it's good to know.

Someone must have served Denise Richards a nice big cup of crazy.

Yesterday we told you that Charlie Sheen is dragging Denise back to court to revise their custody agreement, as Charlie is asking for more private time with his girls, Sam and Lola.

"I can't be monitored anymore. The type of household that [fiancee Brooke Mueller] and I provide, we should be able to decide if we need help or not," the actor told Entertainment Tonight. In addition to unsupervised visits, Charlie wants, "an extra weekend per month, the ability to hire my own nanny or child care provider and no phone calls to the house unless there is a medical emergency...I don't want to interrupt my time with the girls to run to the phone."

In addition to the custody issue, Charlie is saying that the stories that nutty Denise has asked him to father another child with her "are true. There is documentation that I'll show in court revealing the request for my 'donation.'"

What? Why?

Surprisingly, Charlie is as baffled by the request as I am. "I'm good enough to provide DNA but I'm not good enough to hire my own child care provider?" he snarked to ET.

But here's my favorite part -- Charlie's response to if he'll consider creating another Sheen-RIchards offspring: "I would sooner walk on the surface of the moon in exactly what I'm wearing."

Love it!

In a move that will, hopefully, set Britney Spears on some kind of less-crazy track, the pop star has hired herself a new manager. Brit has pay rolled uber-manager to the stars, Jeff Kwatinetz, who Kelly Clarkson recently fired after her whole My December fiasco.

TMZ reports that Jeff was eager to get his hands on Britney and revamp her questionable image. If Brit Brit makes a stellar comeback, Jeff is bound to be considered a Hollywood magician of Houdini-like proportion.

Good luck with all that, Jeff.

Madonna's attempt to make Malawian baby David her son is, once again, being challenged. The Material Mom, who was granted interim custody of the almost-two year old last October, is said to be relying on one certain official's report of how David is doing in Madge's home. The problem? The Malawian government is keeping the official from leaving his own country to head to London.

The social worker, Penstone Kilembe, is saying that government is jeopardizing Madonna's chance of getting full custody of the boy she has been raising for the last 10 months. "The whole adoption process may crumble and David [may be] sent back to his village,” says Kilembe, who is director of Malawi's child welfare services.

The Malawi News is telling their own story, reporting that Kate Kainja, the country's minister of women and child development, had accused Kilembe of going behind the government's back and getting money and a plane ticket straight from Madonna.

"We feel Mr. Kilembe personalized the whole issue when other people can go [and monitor the family]," she tells the newspaper.

Isn't David's health and happiness the issue here? Get someone over there to check him out and let everyone go on with their lives! It makes me want to run for office in Malawi.

I mean, is he for real? His latest stunt, to get as much attention as humanly possible, has him egging on Spencer-haters (like me) to take shots at him on his website. Spence is taking on all the Lauren Conrad fans, who think that he was the reason for the rift between former best buds Lauren and, Spencer's fiance, Heidi Montag. The obnoxious loud mouth is saying that good girl L.C. is a fake and, when the cameras stop rolling, Lauren is just a "spoiled brat" who used Spencer and Heidi to get her own publicity!

Spencer also swears that the alleged sex tape of Lauren and her ex Jason Wahler did exist, and that Lauren destroyed it when word got out. Spence and Heidi gone as far to say they will take a lie-detector test to prove that there was a tape.

Does anyone else think that Spencer needs some anger management classes? Jeez, man, use all that energy for something good -- like finding me a magic wand!

Where in the world is Lindsay Lohan? Do you care?

As we told you earlier, The New York Post reported that Linds supposedly flew back to New York this weekend, to hide out in her parents' home on Long Island. But Entertainment Tonight is saying that LiLo has headed to a new rehab facility, Cirque Lodge, in Utah. If true, this will be the third rehab attempt for Lindsay, who has already done stints in Wonderland and Promises.

But Lindsay's rep isn't saying "yay" or "nay" on any rumors of where the star is currently sobering up. "It would be counterproductive to the medical treatment she's receiving to release Lindsay's whereabouts at this time," her peeps told Us Weekly.

So keep an eye out -- that could be Lindsay behind that newspaper.

Things were just too quiet on the Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards front. Reports that it was all love-love for the divorced duo, their kids, and Charlie's new fiancee, Brooke Mueller, have come to an end.

Charlie and Denise, who have quite the tumultuous split, are said to be heading back to court. Charlie is fighting his ex for looser restrictions on their custody agreement concerning daughters Sam and Lola. As of now, Charlie is required to have all of his visits with his daughters supervised, but the actor is planning on requesting some private time with his girls.

"[Denise is] doing everything she can to keep his visits supervised by her nanny, because her nanny spies for her," a pal of Charlie's said. The friend is also spewing stories that this all because Denise is jealous of Charlie's new wife-to-be, and that the actress wans to have, yet another, baby with the Two and a Half Men star!

Of course, Denise is blasting these reports. "This is disgusting," she told Page Six. "He is doing this now because he's not happy with me and the custody arrangement. I don't want another child right now. I have my hands full and am focusing on my children, my mother and my career. I thought I was past all this stuff."

Guess not.

Perhaps Lindsay Lohan is taking her rehabilitation seriously this time. The troubled starlet is said to have taken a break from the California life, and has headed back to her roots in Long Island, NY.

Lindsay's outspoken sister, Ali Lohan, was by her side when LiLo landed in Kennedy Airport Friday night. Since then she is reportedly spending time with family and, hopefully, trying to get her head back on straight. Lindsay's dad, Michael, told Page Six that he is "ecstatic" that his girl is home. "She's here and in a good place, and I hope our family is reunited to bring Lindsay back the stability she needs."

Not so sure that her parents are the best people to help her get "stable" -- but maybe someone else in that family could look out for Lindsay, for a change.

Just when we thought that glow Reese Witherspoon was toting was courtesy of her new Jake Gyllenhaal diet, Page Six reports that Reese and her ex-hubby, Ryan Phillippe, are back spending time together. The gossip column said that the ex-marrieds had been seen jogging, lunching, and shopping together, in the past few weeks, and that a pal close to the couple say they are "trying to work it out."

What do you we think? So not happening. Reese was just photographed picking up Jake G. outside his home and taking him back to her place for a sleep over, and Perez Hilton reports that Jake and Reese took in a screening of The Bourne Ultimatum on Saturday night, and smooched while the lights were down.

Keep taking your Jake supplements, Reese, and stay away from those Ryan additives. You've never looked better!

There's no time like the present, right? But does that usually apply to serving your jail sentence? Apparently it does for Nicole Richie.

Though the with-child starlet has until end the end of September to serve her four-day sentence at Lynwood, Perez Hilton is reporting exclusively that Nic wants to get in and get out, and could head to the slammer this weekend.

“It could be as early as tonight [Friday],” Perez's insider said.

I don't blame her. Pregnancy does not get more pleasant as you go along. Especially when you're in jail.

I'm so sorry to be delivering such devastating news to all of you, but, yes, it's true --- Pamela Anderson has decided to retire from acting. Please, please, try and hold back your tears while you finish reading the story.

On her personal blog, Pammy expressed that she loves her new Vegas magic show gig so much that she's done with everything else.

“I love theatre. My entrance broke on stage tonight. Crazy. But those are the moments. I’m having best time. I want to be in Vegas forever. So glamorous. I’m rehearsing another illusion tonight. I’m definitively staying till December. Then who knows. No more TV or film. This is what I love doing. It’s so over the top.”

But who will all the serious movie roles go to now?

Australia's News Weekly is reporting that Tom and liked Posh and David's sexy layout in the mag so much that they are in talks to snap some sizzling shots of their own. Supposedly a friend of the couple said, "They have already started planning some of the photos. One suggestion they were keen on was a shot of them posing together in the shower, dripping wet and covered by nothing but steam."

Suri's parents have been going for the very wholesome look, as of late, but now want to take things up a notch. "Tom and Katie really have amazing chemistry," says the pal. "They want to show the world how much."

I'm not sure how much of this story I believe, but can you imagine? If Tom and Katie do get naked, will we be able to see the control panels on their backs? It makes me think of that little girl from Small Wonder -- remember her?

Sources for Page Six are saying that the troubled starlet, who was once in the running to be the new face of Louis Vuitton, tanked her chances after a disastrous photo session for Elle magazine. "Louis Vuitton had sent over some samples for her to wear in the shoot," said a spy. "Lindsay kept shoving the clothes into her bag, and a stylist's assistant kept getting them out of the bag, only to have Lindsay keep trying to take them. She ended up walking off with a very expensive shirt and some other items - which screwed Louis Vuitton because they were set to go to Vogue, W and Harper's Bazaar for other shoots. They were furious and kept trying to get their clothes back, but . . . Lindsay walked out with them and never returned calls."

The issue, which hits stands today, just makes LiLo look even more guilty of the pilfering. When asked about the clothes for the shoot, she replied, "I wanted everything. There was this Cartier watch, and I was like, 'What do I have to do to get this watch?'"

In the interview, which took place one night before her first arrest in May, Lindsay complained that the paparazzi was just waiting for her to slip up. "They're looking for me, to like trip, so they can be like, 'Oh Lindsay's wasted and driving drunk.' And that's not it. I wouldn't violate. ... I'm much more responsible than that," she insisted.

Lindsay, who has been nowhere to be found since her arrest last week, is rumored to be in an intense rehab program, possibly at the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage. Hopefully she's getting the help she needs -- for all that ails her.

Jessica Simpson has yet to receive the universe's memo stating that she is not an actress. The daddy's girl continues to make God-awful movies and further shoves her career down the toilet.

Her latest disaster, Blonde Ambition, is rumored to be bypassing U.S. theaters and heading straight to Blockbuster heaven. “It is going straight to DVD domestically. It will only come out in theaters internationally,” so says Us Weekly. The flick, co-starring cutie Luke Wilson, is said to be a nightmare, shockingly, because of Jess' lack of talent. "The movie is absolutely horrible,” says a source. “It’s just a bomb, mainly because of Jessica’s acting.”

Jessica's peeps say that the movie will be a theatrical release, while a rep for the movie isn't promising anything. “The final distribution plans have not been confirmed, so it would be premature to comment at this time.”

I'm pretty sure we could all live without yet another film dedicated to 90 minutes of Jess and her Razzie-caliber portrayal of a flaxen-haired flake.

Please! Don't send her back!

Kirsten Dunst is wreaking havoc in her new neighborhood in London. The actress, who recently relocated while filming her new movie, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People (how ironic!), is pissing off her community, with all of her late-night partying.

"It seems that all that goes on there in the evenings are drunken parties after she's brought tons of people from their local pub", a well-placed source explains. "It may sound cool and very rock star, but their neighborhood is mainly populated by middle-class families who don't expect this kind of racket in their area. Kirsten isn't popular there right now."

Um, is she really popular anywhere?

Apparently the frat-like parties are complete with "shouting...banging on the walls, people being sick in the garden, loud heavy rock music that vibrates through the walls, the list goes on," says the source. A spy at Islington Council's noise patrol tells Us Weekly that three separate families have made formal complaints, and that they are ready to take things further if the ruckus doesn't stop. "I've heard that the neighbors are putting together a petition with all the other families on that street, " the council source says. "They're planning to pass it on to Kirsten's house and to [a local official]. Hopefully she's a smart enough girl to know not to break the law."

Doubtful. Hey London, no backsies!

Christina, who has been suffering from a viral upper respiratory tract infection with a high fever and abnormal coughing, was ordered complete bed rest by doctors. Fortunately the New Zealand concerts were the last stop on her Back to Basics Tour, so now Christina can go home, rest up and get better!

Take care of that baby, Christina. We hope you're well soon!

We haven't heard much from Kevin Federline, in reference to his divorce from Britney Spears, or regarding any of the hundreds of stories depicting Britney's crappy mothering skills. But Kevin's lawyer sat down with US Weekly, in an exclusive interview, and gave the mag a bit of insight into what Kev is thinking about Brit and his sons. Here's how it went down:

Usmagazine.com: Is Kevin happy with Monday's court proceedings finalizing the divorce?

Mark Vincent Kaplan: I think that he was pleased that that phase of the case could be finalized.

Us: How does he feel about the current 50/50 shared custody agreement?
MVK: I think that Kevin would like to have as much custody as he could get because he feels that the children would benefit by that. I'm sure Britney wants more custody as well. I don't think anyone should draw any presumption or conclusion from the fact that the judgment was entered on Monday, that everything is fine with everybody as of Monday.

Us: Is the question of custody still open?
MVK: The judgment could be filed but it might not relate to the current circumstances, it might relate to prior ones, and there's always an ability to at least apply to the court that you need to change in the interest of the kid.

Us: What's Kevin like as a father?
MVK: I don't want to talk about the kids, but I can say that he is a hands-on dad and I think that he is a very focused parent who believes that any kids, but especially kids of this young age, need to have structure and consistency and that he has always provided that and wants to make sure that they get the benefit of that as much as possible.

Us: Is he concerned about what happens when they are not under his care?
MVK: Well I can't say how he feels about it, but I can say that all of these things that come out [about Britney], if true, are things that would concern me. He is someone who has gone out of his way to protect his kids as much as possible. I don't recall ever seeing a picture of him with his kids in tow out in public because he feels that could subject them to an unnecessary risk and doesn't benefit them. His desire is that these kids
have a chance to grow up free, in as normal an environment as possible. He's somebody that never has tried to boost his appearance in public through his children.

How smart is Kevin looking these days? He is playing his cards so right. Unbelievable.

I love me some frivolous feuding, like the one between The Hills' good girl Lauren Conrad and her ex-bff, the newly-enhanced Heidi Montag. It seems that the tension was so high by the end of last season of the MTV show that the execs at the network are having trouble getting the girls together to promote the new season.

"Lauren and Heidi refused to even be in the same room as each other," said a Hollywood insider. "They hate each other so much. In the photos on MTV's site for the third season, they had to Photoshop Heidi in because they wouldn't even take a picture together."

How very Paris and Nicole, when they filmed that season of now-defunct The Simple Life separately. But who can blame Lauren for not wanting to be around Heidi and her fiance, Spencer Pratt, who happens to be the most annoying human being on the planet?

You can keep up with all the yummy cat-fighting on the new season of The Hills, premiering August 13th, and relive all the drama from last season, thanks to our friends at TV Cocktail.

We knew it wouldn't take long before Victoria Beckham wore out her welcome in the states. I mean, really, most us wanted her to just turn around and get back on the plane before she even left the airport.

Sources are saying that the rejuvenated Spice Girl is not making any friends at the super swanky Chateau Marmont. Celebs often head to this hotel hot spot for some peace and quiet from the paparazzi, but Vicki makes it a point to invite the photogs there.

"She always lets the paparazzi know when she'll be arriving," said a Cali insider. "The Chateau Marmont tries to give celebs their privacy, and they hate her there."

Even Hollywood's most troubled and lonely names don't want to hang with Posh.

According to the Daily News, last Tuesday, "Britney Spears turned up at the Chateau and the only table available was the one next to Posh," revealed the spy. "But Britney didn't want to sit next to her, so she and her friend stormed off to Il Sole instead."

Ouch! Looks like the Welcome Wagon has trotted off back to London.

No, it's not, in any way, a product of the offspring of beauties Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, but a creation of a Symine Salimpour, a jewelry designer, who has moved on to fragrances. Salimpour has finally been given the OK to proceed with her scent, after a court battle with Angelina has been settled.

When Angie got word that Symine was using her daughter's name for the perfume, she intructed her lawyers to put the smackdown on production. But it seems the hugely-famous actress can't control everything in the world and, after a five-month battle, Symine won the legal right to call the scent Shiloh.

The designer maintains that the name was never intended to be associated with the Jolie-Pitts' daughter, Shiloh Nouvel. "In Hebrew, Shiloh means 'his gift,' " she says. "And I will use the perfume to give something back to the children of Israel and the Middle East." Symine vows that 5 percent of the profits will go to the Israeli-based nonprofit organization Beit Issie Shapiro, which provides medical and educational services to disabled children.

Well, this is all good news for me. I can now go ahead with my new men's body spray called Maddox.

Photographers who got into a scuffle with Brit and her bodyguard in Las Vegas last week are threatening to sue the pop star. In a statement released Tuesday by their lawyer, celebrity photographers Kyle Henderson and Andrew Deetz say that Brit's bodyguard Julio Camera punched and kicked one of them, without being provoked, while Britney ran after the other.

A security guard from the Wyn Las Vegas allegedly prevented Britney from getting to the paparazzi, but the photographers claim that the pop star threw a baby bottle at them while screaming, "I am going to kill you! I am going to f*cking kill you!" Then Brit went as far to tell them to get a restraining order against her if they wanted to stay safe, though even then, she would hire someone to kill them for her.

Whoa! Britney has been watching too many episodes of The Sopranos. She needs to move to Prague with the Jolie-Pitts.

"So the other day I hear screams, a bunch of kids descend on me, and I'm thinking I'm grateful they recognize me and they ask, 'You Nicole Richie's dad?'"

--- soon-to-be-granddad Lionel Richie, on his waning celebrity.

Too cute.

In late June it seemed that Reese Witherspoon was cooling off from her brief fling with Jake Gyllenhaal. Sources said that the just-divorced actress felt that things were moving a tad fast and put the brakes on her budding romance.

Has Reese had a change of heart? Perhaps. People are buzzing that Ryan Phillippe's ex and Jake are back spending time together.

Reese was photographed picking her man up at his house in the Hollywood Hills, just this week, and taking him back her place in Brentwood.

I was hoping Reese would come around. These two just seem so normal, no?

In a new interview airing on Good Morning America Thursday and on 20/20 Friday, Nic tells Diane Sawyer that she and boyfriend Joel Madden are, indeed, expecting a little one. "Yes I am. We are. I'm almost four months," she says.

As for her guilty plea in the DUI case last Friday, where she was sentenced to serve four days in jail, Nicole told Diane: "I have a responsibility and it's something that I did wrong, and if I could personally apologize to every single person that has lost a loved one from drunk driving I would. And unfortunately I can't, but this is my way of paying my dues and taking responsibility and being an adult."

I'm happy for Nicole --- can't wait to see what that girl looks like with a big, round pregnancy belly!