It's vacation time and my hubby and I are headed down to Cabo San Lucas for some R&R. I have promised my love one full Britney Spears-free week, but I'm secretly hoping Britney flies down there and I make nice with her. I can see it now -- we'll bond over our babies, have some Margaritas and, before I know it, I'll be on next week's cover of US Weekly.

Seriously, Suzy has promised to take good care of you (like always!), and I will be back before you can say Jose Cuervo. I'll miss you!

Hasta la pasta, babies!

The program consists of 52 hours of group counseling, bi-weekly interviews and 12 hours of alcohol education. Participants are also encouraged to attend 12-step meetings. According to People mag, the course, SB 38, is for those who have been convicted of DUI on more than one occasion within a 7-year period (and maybe who have spent more than 81 minutes in jail) -- like Nicole.

So, she's got three more months of attending these classes while pregnant -- then the baby comes. I hope this school has daycare.

The Lycee’s director of operations, Dan Cooke, decided the best way to handle the hoards of parents, who hang around in hopes to get a glimpse or autograph from Brangelina, was to send a letter to the overeager moms and dads.

“I’m sure you are aware the school has received much media attention recently during the arrival and dismissal times because of the presence of celebrities Ms. Angelina Jolie and/or Mr. Brad Pitt,” read the note, according to The New York Observer. “I want to make you aware that before the first day of school I met with their security team to discuss the best manner in which for them to drop off and pick up their son. Our foremost goal was to cause the least amount of disruption to the school and to ensure the security of all of our students and families. Regretfully, I have seen some parents taking pictures, asking for autographs, talking to the media and even shouting at Ms. Jolie and Mr. Pitt for recognition. Therefore, in the best interests of the school and safety of your child(ren) I must ask for everyone to please respect the family’s privacy and discontinue these practices.”

“The French are quite civilized,” commented a source, who has a sibling at the school. “But sure, you have the moms who get there a little earlier to get a little glimpse.” Though the source did say that Angie has apologized for the mayhem that her appearance at the school causes.

That letter from the Director of Operations made me laugh, because you know he's probably framed the part of Maddox's trip permission slip that Angie had to sign.

I prefer my dose of Matty M. sweaty and shirtless, but it's nice to know he could clean up nice when you take him home to mama -- though my mama would probably prefer him sweaty and shirtless, too.

Despite reports that King of Plastic Surgery Michael Jackson has married his children's nanny, Grace Rwaramba, Jacko says he's still single and available. You hear that, ladies?

"Wide spreading reports regarding Michael Jackson being married are not true," his publicist said in a statement to E! News. "Documents stating otherwise are a hoax."

The documents in question were supposedly obtained by the ever-reputable National Enquirer, in which Michael referred to himself as a "married man." The rag even quoted a source as saying, "Grace was happy to go along with it. She's always been devoted to Michael and has raised the kids since the day they were born. Michael knew she'd make a perfect stepmother."

But it's all a lie, so you can breathe a sigh of relief that you may still have a chance with the loon. Hey, I loved him, too, in the sixth grade. I had buttons of his face on my book bag -- but that was his old face.

When I heard the rumor that Hannah Montana star, Miley Cyrus, was pregnant, I wanted to run over to my seven-year-old niece's house and cover her ears! It's just so wrong. Miley was apparently a victim of some nasty internet rumor stating that the 14-year-old superstar was with child. But, instead of letting it bring her down, the good girl is using this opportunity to tell the world that she is a virgin -- and plans on staying that way for a while.

“It’s given me the street cred to say that would be impossible, because I’m living my life the way I believe is right and that is to stay pure," she told Extra. Adding that she absolutely does not believe in sex before marriage.

Uh-oh. Saying that is like an open invitation for scrutiny. Now, as soon as Miley gets a Nickelodeon boyfriend, the rumors will start to fly. It's a total Britney Spears thing. Remember when Britney said she was going to stay a virgin until marriage? Look how that turned out.

Contrary to reports earlier this week, Lindsay Lohan will not be leaving rehab. Her mom, the upstanding Dina Lohan, informed Access Hollywood in an email, that Lindsay would be staying in Utah. A source close to the star also tells People that "Lindsay is not leaving Cirque Lodge in Utah any time soon. She has a few more weeks to grow and develop, and she is doing great."

Which is good to hear, because if Lindsay was out, she would have to deal with the fact that Jackass loser Steve-O told Howard Stern that Lindsay stole a stash of cocaine from his apartment, after she returned to retrieve the wallet she left.

Probably not something she wants to deal with right out of rehab.

The new Paris Hilton is off to Rwanda to bring attention to the poverty-stricken nation. The heiress will travel to the African nation in conjunction with Playing For Good, an organization that helps bring celebrities together with charities this fall.

After her jail stint, Paris promised the public that she was going to change and use her celebrity to make the world a better place. She told Barbara Walters, via a phone interview, "I’m not the same person I was. I know now that I can make a difference, that I have the power to do that. I want to do different things when I’m out of here.”

Well, I'm sure Paris's visit will do wonders -- and in no time, the people of Rwanda will be saying "that's hot" over and over to each other.

But I'm betting the photogs couldn't care less that Brit was using her video camera because the photos will still sell. (Guilty, as charged!) I'm just worried that Britney is thinking of making another documentary about her life -- did you catch Chaotic?

According to a new poll in Radar magazine, you are not alone. And you've also had enough of cupcakes, Botox, and Brad Pitt! But Posh and Becks have come in at the top of the list of things that are totally overrated. Writer Michael Musto calls L.A. Galaxy hottie David "overpaid" and his fashionista wife "a pointless collection of body parts." Ouch!

Other things that made list?
Blogging (gasp!), sex with virgins, cocaine, Keira Knightley (they must have read my mind), pilates, Ronald Reagan, The Dalai Lama, Jake Gyllenhaal (Reese Witherspoon obviously wasn't voting) and Grey's Anatomy (they must all be watching Gossip Girl).

Who's had enough of cupcakes? That's just madness.

Watch it: We ask people on the street what they think about the Beckhams

I've told you in the past about my obsession with Heather Locklear's new boyfriend, Jack Wagner -- it's just something I can't seem to grow out of. So I almost died when I heard that Heather and Jack are so serious that the ex Mrs. Richie Sambora said she would marry The Bold and The Beautiful actor.

Heather tells People that her romance with Jack is "wonderful and exciting and blossoming," adding she feels deserving of something that "feels so right". The actress admits she can see herself as the next Mrs. Wagner. She reveals, "If Jack said, `Let's get married, ' I'd go, `OK!' But I have a daughter to consider. I'm trying to be a thoughtful role model, and not selfish."

I'm dying! Do you think they've been in love since their Peter and Amanda days on Melrose Place?

Bridget is also looking pretty fantastic, considering she gave birth just five weeks ago. And though her situation with ex Tom isn't the most ideal (he's currently getting it on with supermodel Gisele Bundchen), Bridget is loving her new mommy role.

"The pain of dealing with the fallout of their failed romance has been overtaken with the joy of motherhood,” a source told OK!. Bridget, who passed on giving an interview to the mag, is said to be in love with being a mother.
“She’s still at the point where she finds it very hard to be away from him,” a pal told OK! “They are so bonded. She can’t wait to get home, so she only goes out for short periods.”

Bridget has a new love in her life, and while Tom and Gisele will eventually tire of each other, Baby John will always love his momma.

Heidi opens up about her plastic surgery -- a breast enlargement and nose job -- that, until now, she's been coy about. Lauren Conrad's former BFF says that she made these changes to her body because boys always made fun of her for having a big schnoz and being flat chested.

"People would say,“You have such a big nose!" And they’d make fun of me for being so flat, and say mean boy things, like, 'If you nailed two nails in a board, they would be bigger than you are.' I was tormented. And when I was older, I’d want to be intimate, but I’d feel insecure. My boyfriends always had bigger chests than I did!'"

Well, that's a pleasant image.

Heidi goes on to say that Spencer had nothing to do with her decision to get surgery, even though he has a major thing for Playboy bunnies, and that if she didn't wake up from the surgery it was still worth it. I swear!

She makes me want to vomit.

More: Which stars have gone under the knife? Check out the Celebrity Plastic Surgery gallery.

On walking the red carpet: "I hate red-carpet events; I absolutely hate them. I don't like the fact that people write, 'Oh, you look like crap' in print. Or 'I don't like your arms!' "

On her self-image: "I'm not Wonder Woman. I have self-esteem problems. Everybody does. You know, skinny people are allowed to feel s--- about themselves."

On being called an anorexic: "I haven't got a clue about how much I weigh. I do not own any scales. And I have noticed it creates an anger in people who are not skinny. People like to blame their insecurities on other people."

On the characters she likes to play: "There is definitely a f-you quality to the characters I choose. A lot of times in cinema today the women are overly sentimental, so I constantly try to do the opposite. I like strident women."

On the anxieties of fame: "You have this feeling -- everyone wants a bit of you. Wants to suck a bit of you. Wants a piece of you. It does feel like that. Any sane person knows, this is not nice. It's a pretty horrific profession, really."

So what do I think about the reports that Jessica Biel might be snagging my coveted role for the new movie, Justice League of America? I say, "Right on!" Jess certainly has the bod for it, she's almost too buff, and though I also heard that Cobie Smulders (Robin from How I Met Your Mother), who I love, was being considered for the part, I think Jessica is a great choice -- and I'm sure her man, Justin Timberlake, won't mind if Jess brings home the sparkly bustier every now and then.

What do you think about Jessica as my fave superhero? Tell me!

They should probably start putting red carpets down on the entry ramps to prison, just to make the hoards of celebs getting thrown behind bars more comfortable.

It seems that our hero, Jack Bauer a.k.a Kiefer Sutherland will have to spend, at least, some time in the slammer. According to California law, back-to-back DUIs will result in serving a mandatory minimum of four days in jail, if convicted. But this isn't Kiefer's second DUI -- it's his fourth! In addition to his most recent arrest, the 24 star had been charged with Driving Under the Influence in 1988, 1993 and in 2004.

Can you say repeat offender?

Watch it on Daily Blabber TV: Kiefer Sutherland Gets Busted

Pamela Anderson is no stranger to wild times, but since hooking up with Paris Hilton sex tape creator, Rick Salomon, she's been hitting new heights.

Page Six is reporting that Pam's recent antics have her friends very worried. "She parties almost every night," their source said. "She drinks, she does stuff . . . and she's got hepatitis C. Her liver is shot but she keeps living this crazy lifestyle. We don't think she understands how serious this is. She has two kids and may not be around to see them grow up at this rate."

In addition, Pam's relationship with Rick seems to be taking her even further out of control. "They went wild over the VMA weekend," the spy added. "I just watched them party with my jaw open."

Supposedly while the bombshell continues to burn the candle at both ends, while performing in her Las Vegas magic act, her family takes care of her two sons with Tommy Lee. Oh, and Pam is telling people that she and Rick are either engaged and/or already married.

She sounds stable, huh?

Perez Hilton is speculating that not only are The Anthonys awaiting the birth of one baby, but that Jen is actually carrying twins!

Twins from the block? Dios mio!

"We all met Alex on the street near the USA Hostel in Hollywood," our spy from Paris's camp told Page Six. "The hostel is $27 a night and they shove in six people to a room. But in the morning there are all the pancakes you can eat. Our friend introduced him to Paris and she immediately took a liking to him. He's very hot. He's living much better now."

I bet. Paris is already working her star magic on the 22-year-old, introducing him to Ford Models scouts this week. And though a rep for the heiress says she and Alex are "just friends," a rep for me says "and you know what that means." Wink.

The latest episode in the Charlie/Denise nasty custody battle has Charlie firing back at his ex's claims that he likes to watch underage internet porn. "The FBI was aware of these issues," Charlie states. "I provided them with every computer I owned. The computers were returned two weeks later. Haven't heard from them since. Period. The end."

The actor said in a statement that for 18 months Denise herself filed "not a single complaint" about the welfare of their daughters, Sam and Lola, and that her attacks only began after he asked to pick his own nannies. "I have asked that the court eliminate Ms. Richards's ability to abuse and harass us any longer," said Charlie of himself and his fiancee, Brooke Mueller. "One can only imagine what we've withstood thus far."

I''ve said it before and I'll say it again -- Denise Richards = Big Cup of Crazy.

"I hate L.A., I'm so sick of that town. I don't want anyone to know I'm here in Atlanta."

-- A newly brunette Britney Spears, overheard complaining Sunday while shopping at Intermix in Atlanta

But, no, Lindsay's peeps have plainly denied the claims that she's gettin' it on with Stephanie Allen's husband -- even though, according to the Daily Mail, Steph identified Lindsay as one of the precipitators of the divorce. The jilted ex is filing for custody of the couple’s 8-month-old twins(!), and states that her marriage is “irretrievably broken" and points to Tony’s “adultery” and “cruel treatment” as grounds for the split. The papers also accuse the musician of being "guilty of habitual drug addiction.”

“It’s unfortunate Stephanie Allen is blaming the demise of her marriage on Lindsay,” her rep tells Us Weekly. "Stephanie needs to look at her marriage to determine the reason why things went wrong because it has nothing to do with Lindsay. Lindsay and Tony are friends and that’s all. They are supporting one another through a similar experience. This is a friendship based on trust and mutual support and nothing else.”

So, I'll let you be the judge. Was Lindsay knockin' boots with the rich lady's hubby or what? Tell me!

Brad Pitt sent employees of The Washington Post into a tizzy on Friday, when he stopped by the paper's newsroom to do some research for his upcoming movie, State of Play, reports People magazine.

"It was like angels singing," the paper reported one female worker as saying. The lucky girl said she had "made eye contact" with Brad during his four-hour tour of the newsroom with the movie's director, Kevin McDonald. The actor was reportedly all spiffed up for his visit, wearing blue slacks, a tan blazer and white, button-down shirt, with his gray, tweed cap. Brad was gracious -- he waved and said hello to employees who, apparently, thought they might have died and gone to heaven.

This story made me laugh, but when I really thought about it, I admitted to myself that I probably would have been standing there with my mouth agape, too -- I mean, I get excited when the UPS guy stops by.

I'm just waiting for someone to say that Nicole Richie is getting fat.

How cute does the mom-to-be look in her bikini? Nicole and her beau, Joel Madden, jetted off to Hawaii to celebrate Nic's 26th birthday. The two frolicked in the water, kissed and cuddled all while the paparazzi snapped away.

Nicole's looks exactly like I would in a bikini -- except I'm not six months pregnant.

Meow!

Victoria Beckham has become quite the hot commodity since moving to the U.S.! The Spice Girl has been asked to join the Pussycat Dolls for a few guest appearances. Posh will join a long line of sexy women who have done a stint for the 'Don't Cha" girls. Carmen Electra, Christina Aguilera and Jessica Simpson have all taken a swing around the pole in the burlesque-style revue.

A source close to The Dolls says the girls are psyched to have Vicki on their team. "They've been blown away by Victoria since she arrived in LA. They love her style and think she has the perfect figure for the group. They are all huge Spice Girl fans and can't wait to have her on stage with them."

I hope Posh can eek out a smile while dancing -- she usually looks like the most sour kitten in all the land.

First Rosie O' Donnell turned down Oprah Winfrey's offer to come on her show to promote Ro's new book, Celebrity Detox, and now the former View host has cancelled her interview with Diane Sawyer.

Rosie has apparently decided that the nature of her book, where she allegedly calls her former boss Barbara Walters "tired," is too emotionally taxing and "raw" to talk about in an interview. Ro's chat with Diane was scheduled for early October, but Good Morning America just released this statement:

"We were looking forward to having Rosie as a guest on the program. Unfortunately, today we were informed she has decided to cancel all of her interviews."

I'm so sure that when she does decide to talk (it's Rosie, people, that's what she does!) she'll be dialing up Oprah's number.

Can her life get any worse?

Britney Spears is in, yet even, more trouble than before. The fallen pop star has been charged with a "hit-and-run causing property damage and driving without a valid license," the Los Angeles City Attorney said Friday. The charges stem from a fender bender in a store parking lot last month, when Brit made a wide, right turn into a parking space and scraped another car's bumper. And just her luck, the whole thing was captured on video by photo agency X17.

In addition, Britney is being charged with driving without a license. "According to the DMV, Ms. Spears was never issued a California license - ever," City Attorney's spokesman Frank Mateljan tells People. Britney's arraignment is set for Oct. 10, and if convicted for both misdemeanor charges, she could face up to a year in jail.

Can you imagine if she goes to jail, too? I mean, she probably won't, but can you imagine? Next we'll find out she's pregnant and going to the slammer -- it is the latest trend, you know, unless you are Foxy Brown. Then you just lie about being pregnant and go to jail anyway.

According to police, George was driving his Harley-Davidson in Weehawken, N.J., when he collided with car that allegedly attempted to make a right turn from the left lane.

Sarah, who was taken to the hospital by ambulance, suffered a broken foot, while George has a hairline fracture of a rib and road rash. The actor was able to drive away from the scene on his motorcycle and met his love at the hospital. The driver of the car was uninjured.

The crash is still under investigation.

"Mother and daughter are doing well," Salma's publicist said. No further details were released. Valentina is the first child for the executive producer of Ugly Betty and the third for her soon-to-be-hubby.

Congrats to the whole family!

For more about-to-pop stars, check out our Celebrity Baby Tracker.

Oh boy! I can't wait to hear what all of you have to say about this!

In the new issue of Britain's Cosmopolitan, Angelina Jolie reveals the number of men she's slept with. Drum roll, please! And the big, whopping number is... FOUR! That's right. Angie says she's been with less than five men -- and two of them were her husbands.

I assume she means Billy Bob Thorton and Jonny Lee Miller, then there's Brad Pitt, of course, so who's number four? Oliver Martinez? Her high school boyfriend?

Angie also said nothing about how many women she's slept with -- so don't be thinking that Angelina is more angelic than we thought -- that number could be in the hundreds.

The Ugly Betty star has lost about 20 pounds in recent weeks, which is causing a ruckus with the folks that celebrated the star for being a curvy role model for young girls. But the Emmy winner blames her slim-down on a hectic shooting schedule, as the new season has begun, though she does say that since she dropped the pounds she is feeling good.

"I feel like I'm a regular person. I'm a size 10 or 12, which is totally normal," America revealed. "But I do feel that since I wanted to get in better shape, there has been a bit of a backlash."

I love America curvy, I lover her slim, whatever. I don't care. She's a good actress who seems grateful for the success she's had. I just wish weight was not such a freakin' issue in this country. It's maddening.

“The times that I was around her, in her defense, she don’t drink any alcohol. I didn’t see her drink. You know I was hospitable, I offered everybody a drink and you know she had water,” he said.

Instead of resting up for her comeback, Britney reportedly partied until all hours of the night on both Friday and Saturday night, leading up to the show.

“At 3am when you see her, as a performer do you say to yourself ‘you should be going to sleep now, you are opening the VMA’s tomorrow,‘” AH's asked Billy Bush asked Diddy.

“Everybody has their own way,” he replied. “Some people deal with, you know, nerves, they can’t go to sleep and you don’t know what the problem is. To just say ‘Oh, her career is over she [is] done,’ to discount all her work beforehand because she is a human being — we all go through hard times.”

I know! Maybe Brit can be on the next installment of MTV's Making the Band! Though, if her moves from the VMA performance are any indication of her star quality, we doubt Brit would make it through the first round of cuts.

What's up with Jennifer Lopez and her mom Guadalupe, who were once super-tight? Some say Jen's hubby, Marc Anthony is causing friction between the Girl From the Block and her mama.

With the latest rumors that J.Lo was carrying a little Latina, the Daily News went to Guadalupe's house to find out more. When asked about the talk that she was becoming a grandma, Jen's mom told the reporter, "I didn't hear about it. You know more than I do. I don't talk to her very often. I don't see her often." Guadalupe said she is "very busy here taking care of my sister" while, " [Jennifer is] very busy doing what she does."

If that's not the epitome of parent guilt, I don't know what is. Some say Jen's mom liked Jen's former fiance Ben Aflleck a whole lot more than Marc, while others lament that Guadalupe loves her son-in-law.

Marc has always seemed controlling and creepy to me, and I don't hear Jennifer Garner's parents complaining.

Anna's battle with drugs was apparent. Now Britney has been deemed a "habitual" drug and alcohol user by a judge and could lose her kids if she's not careful. The VF astrologer says the similarities between the two blonde, one-time sex symbols are concerning -- and someone should take notice.

“Instead of laughing at her and making fun of her just the way they did with Anna Nicole, somebody better step in and do something or it is going to be just like Anna Nicole,” Michael writes.

Do you guys believe in this kind of stuff? I'm very much a Libra, through and through, so I definitely think there's some substance behind it, though I don't think we needed an astrologer to tell us that Britney's life is a disaster.

K.K., basically known for her well-endowed booty, her short-lived romance with Jessica Simpson ex Nick Lachey, and, of course, the sex tape she made with Brandy's little brother, Ray J, has scored the cover spot on the December issue of Hugh Hefner's mag. A Playboy source tells Us Weekly that Kim's shoot reveals more than originally planned. Riiiight. Though her body is mostly draped in sheets and jewelry, the source says that Kimmy's fans will get a glimpse of "one boob, and her bare butt." Lucky Kim will have one of the longest, um, spreads, that the mag has had in a long time -- 12 pages! She and Hef are said to be choosing the final photos today.

I suppose this is good news for Kim and her admirers, though once you've given the ALL of the milk away for free, what good is the cow, really?

"To have these professionals turning you into someone else is pretty neat," she says of the transformation. "I've always wanted to be a brunette because in a town of blondes, it makes me look a little more exotic," she says.

It must be nice to be able to be a chameleon like that. When I tried to dye my hair dark brown my freshman year in college, thinking I would look exotic, I just ended up looking like a very pale, very sickly, Mafia princess wannabe.

Lindsay Lohan can't even duck out of controversy when she is nicely tucked away in a rehab facility.

A British heiress is claiming that LiLo was intimate with her husband at the Cirque Lodge treatment center in Utah. According to London's Daily Mirror, Stephanie Allen, a gazillionaire, is said to be devastated by allegations that her musician hubby, Tony, had sex with Lindsay, in a bathroom, at the clinic.

Tony denies the claims, saying he and Lindsay just bonded as pals. "We're great friends," he said. "We share a common affliction, and we just talk about life sometimes." Yet other reports say, when asked by friends about the rumors, he boasted, "C'mon, it's Lindsay Lohan. Hell, yes! Wouldn't you?"

Sounds like a lot of locker room talk to me, but you never know with Lindsay.

We're sure Matt didn't mind spending one more week in Hawaii, considering it's the perfect place for him to live his shirtless life.

The never-ending custody battle between Charlie and Denise continued yesterday when Denise asked a judge to protect their daughters, Sam and Lola, from her ex-husband. According to Access Hollywood, Denise accused Charlie of "inappropriate behavior ... and conduct," including "his attraction to underage women and his sexual explicitness on the Internet, including revealing his private parts." Denise is determined to stop her ex's overnight privileges with their daughters.

Never one to take anything lying down, Charlie retaliated, saying, "Clearly the mother of my children has no interest in responsible co-parenting when it comes to my relationship with our girls. She behaves as though she OWNS our children. She does not. A day of legal reckoning for her is fast approaching. The truth will prevail. It always does.”

Sometimes I forget who the children are in this case.

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick ...

That's the clock that's counting down the minutes until Hayden Panetierre is officially deemed the next Lindsay Lohan.

Why would I say something so nasty about the just-turned-18 Heroes star, who seems so sweet? Because Hayden reportedly flipped her lid and tried to beat up a reporter from Us Weekly. That's right. Here's what TV Guide's Michael Ausiello had to say:

"It was the unbreakable Hayden Panettiere who threatened to "kill" a staffer from Us Weekly over something she wrote about her in a recent issue. (Sources have since confirmed that it was this item that had HP's barely legal panties in a bunch.) Just when it looked like Hayden was about to pull a Sylar on said reporter's skull, her quick-thinking publicist grabbed her and scolded, "Not on the red carpet." It was a classic Hollywood moment — and one I predict will be streaming all over the Internet by week's end."

Do you think Hayden read our entry on her split with Stephen Coletti? Should we be sleeping with one eye open? I won't feel safe again until she is safely locked away at a rehab facility -- which will probably be any minute now.

"I think that's a great idea! She's a great mother, she graced our film, came in and did a really lovely part for us. She had her little boy out and she was a really lovely mother."

-- Brad Pitt on co-star Mary Louise Parker's adoption of a baby girl from Africa

Brad's obviously become Tinsletown's connoisseur on adoptions. Do you think everyone checks in with him before they sign the papers?

Check out other Hollywood big-wigs, who are opening up their homes, with our Celebrity Adoption slide show.

Who would have thought that the girl who rocketed the term "whatever!" to stardom, in her movie Clueless, could be so deep?

Alicia Silverstone has exposed herself in a new ad campaign for PETA. In a series of print and video spots, the dare-to-bare actress poses, sprawled out in front of a pool, fully naked.

In the print version, the words “I’m a Alicia Silverstone, and I’m a vegetarian,” appear above her in-the-buff body. In the video, Alicia claims “there’s nothing in the world that’s changed me as much as this. I feel so much better and have so much more energy."

Alicia, who has battled her scale in the past, says her meat-free life is the reason her bod looks so good in these ads. “I wasn’t always a vegetarian, but I’ve always loved animals. Physically the effect [of going veggie] has been amazing. Once I went vegan, I lost the weight.”

Alicia looks amazing in these spots! So much so, I may just put down my sausage and egg biscuit long enough to clap for her.

Check out the ad here: Alicia Silverstone Appears Naked in PETA TV Ad

Joel Madden promises to make an honest woman out of Nicole Richie. The Good Charlotte rocker told Ryan Seacrest that a trip down the aisle for him and his pregnant girl is definitely in the cards.

Obviously, marriage is in our future," Joel said. "I don't kow when or where or how, but right now our priority is our family and is the baby. That's all we've been thinking about. We are in love and are really happy."

Joel says that he and Nicole are just super psyched for the birth of the baby. "I'm excited. We are all really excited about it. It's the best thing that has ever happened to us. It's awesome."

Do the know they sex? "No, we are waiting. We don't even know. So right now it's an it. Which sounds wrong. We call it the baby. When we talk to it, it's a you," Joel said.

Awww, he's cute, isn't he?

Brad told the Associated Press that the hoards of paparazzi are one of the most difficult aspects of his and Angie's life with the kids. "It's impossible for us. We're run out of every major city. There's just too many paparazzi. There's always cameras in the kids' faces, yelling their names." Brad also that admits he's concerned with "how to survive and how to maintain a family life."

"I understand the essence of paranoia. I understand being hunted, to some degree. It's rare, but there are imbalanced people out there. I've had break-ins in the house," the actor said, "I've had some of these abnormal incidents that can be a bit frightening. It's something that I want to be aware of and be cautious about, especially with the family, that everybody's protected."

It's nice that Brad wants to be the keeper of his brood, but maybe Brangelina should reconsider the 27 more children they keep saying they are going to add to their family. I mean, if safety is a factor, right?

Oprah wanted to have Rosie on her show to talk about the former View co-host's new book, Celebrity Detox, but Rosie decided to go a different way.

"She's doing an interview with Diane Sawyer instead," a spy for Page Six said. Cindi Berger, Rosie's rep, said, "Rosie has always been booked with Diane. We gracefully declined Oprah's offer. I'm sure Rosie will do Oprah's show another time."

The book is said to dish about Rosie's rivals, Barbara Walters, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and Donald Trump, amongst other things. It's an interesting choice for Rosie to turn down Ops, considering every book Oprah touched turns to platinum. Then again, you can call Rosie many things, but a sell-out? Never.

Holy smokes! Weeds star Mary-Louise Parker has added a baby girl to her family. Her reps confirm to People.com that the actress has adopted a daughter from Africa. Mary-Louise, who was nominated for two Emmy awards Sunday night, was spotted with her newest addition over the weekend as they traveled to the show.

"Mary-Louise is such an incredible mom," says a source. "She couldn't be happier about this."

The baby girl will join her new brother, 3-year-old Will, who's dad is Billy Crudup.

Congrats!

Just your typical day of hard knocks for the Princess of Disaster, Britney Spears. A mere hours after Britney's lawyer, Laura Wasser, stepped down as her legal representation in the custody battle versus Brit ex Kevin Federline, another of Britney's staff quit.

Jeff Kwatinetz of The Firm, who took Britney on as a client in the beginning of August, has bailed. The management company gave this statement to People.com:

"It saddens us to confirm media reports that we have terminated our professional relationship with Britney Spears. We believe Britney is enormously talented, and has made a terrific record. But current circumstances have prevented us from properly doing our job. We wish Britney the best."

The statement didn't say what those circumstances were, but we're pretty sure it has a tiny bit to do with something called the MTV VMAs.

Britney is, supposedly, extremely difficult to control and takes no advice from anyone. Though, she may want to reconsider -- we've all seen how well that works out for her.

Holy crap! The Britney Spears/Kevin Federline divorce case has taken quite the interesting turn. Check this shocker out, courtesy of Entertainment Tonight:

"ET has several reliable sources that the FBI and LAPD are investigating legitimate leads on a contract hit on KEVIN FEDERLINE's life.

Multiple sources tell ET that the FBI made attempts to contact Federline to inform him of the potential danger.

Sources within the FBI tell ET that this is the bureau's standard operating procedure when someone's life is threatened.

ET has been working this story for the past two months. When contacted, the FBI told us that the bureau cannot confirm or deny an investigation."

Isn't that nuts? The FBI should look into that crazy, crying Britney fan. Or could it be Britney herself that put this hit out -- she does hate him. What do you guys think?

UPDATE: TMZ.com has learned that, though there was an LAPD investigation into the reports of a plot to kill Kevin, the FBI was never involved, and the case was closed almost two months ago due to insufficient evidence.

Which means K-Fed lives on.

"Kanye expressed that he felt that Britney shouldn't be actually opening the show - almost like he forgot that Britney Spears sold 50 million records," 50 told Ryan Seacrest. "She did. He is not thinking about her full body of work. She deserved to headline the show better than anybody else that was on it - even in the state that she is in."

I'm not sure how much he knows about "the state Britney was in," but I'd like to find out more. And though I'm pretty sure no matter what Kanye said, 50 would say the opposite, it's nice to hear that someone thinks Britney is still worth something.

Rush and Malloy say that Milo was getting "a lot of support at the NBC party" from Hayden on Saturday night, and although the cheerleader told Ryan Seacrest that she brought her mom and her agent as her dates to the actual telecast, the camera caught Hayden and Milo sitting pretty close during the show.

So, are they dating? Probably, which is just a nightmare for me. Have you tried spelling these two names without having to look it up? I tell you, it's just not possible.

Well, here's some good news! O.J. Simpson was arrested and ordered to be held without bail in connection with that alleged armed robbery, involving sports memorabilia, that took place Thursday night at Las Vegas's Palace hotel. O.J. has been charged with two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, conspiracy to commit burglary and burglary with a firearm.

No, no murder charges this time, but if he is convicted A convicted, he O.J could be sentenced to anywhere from three to 35 years for each count. I would so believe in karma if that actually happened.

My girl Lindsey was up all night putting together the highest of highs and the lowest of lows from last night's 2007 Emmys. Who shared the best kiss? What was the worst kept secret? Check out our fantabulous slide show for the answers and see who was smokin' and who must have been jokin'. Enjoy!

Watch the 2007 Emmys: Best & Worst slide show now>>

Here's the complete list of the night's big winners and check out our minute-by-minute recap of the evening.

Best Series, Drama
The Sopranos

Best Series, Comedy
30 Rock

Best Actor, Drama
James Spader, Boston Legal

Best Actress, Drama
Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters

Best Actor, Comedy
Ricky Gervais, Extras

Best Actress, Comedy
America Ferrera, Ugly Betty

Best Supporting Actor, Drama
Terry O'Quinn, Lost

Best Supporting Actor, Comedy
Jeremy Piven, Entourage

Best Supporting Actress, Drama
Katherine Heigl, Grey's Anatomy

Best Supporting Actress, Comedy
Jaime Pressly, My Name is Earl

Lead Actress, Miniseries or Movie
Helen Mirren, Prime Suspect: The Final Act (Masterpiece Theatre)

Best Miniseries
Broken Trail

Lead Actor, Miniseries or Movie
Robert Duvall, Broken Trail

Supporting Actor, Miniseries or Movie
Thomas Haden Church, Broken Trail

Best Made for Television Movie
Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee

Supporting Actress, Miniseries or Movie
Judy Davis, The Starter Wife

Best Variety, Music or Comedy Series
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Best Reality-Competition Program
The Amazing Race

Also, we thought it was a tech glitch that cut off Ray Romano during his act -- now, not so much.

And did you see Kanye West whispering to his fiance during Tony's acceptance speech. I bet he was saying, "I should have won that award!"

When James Gandolfini, Edie Falco, Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler came out of the floor of the Emmys stage, in the center of all their other castmates, it reminded me of when my family was introduced at my brother's bar mitzvah reception. L' chaim!

Sorry for the lapse but Robert Duvall sucked the life out of me -- twice.

Meanwhile, hope that's a spray-on tan... and not fake-and-bake bed tan.

How embarrassing! The announcer girl pronounced Katherine Heigl's name "Hi-jul". It should be in her job description to know how to say everyone's name.

Kyle Chandler = yummy.

Jeremy Piven wins for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy -- that's cool but I was rooting for, wait for it, Neil Patrick Harris. Oh well.

Are Judith Light and Vanessa Williams in love? They were practically nuzzling during their shtick.

It was weird.

Oh. My. God. Britney Spears must be a glutton for punishment, with a capital "G". After her infamous performance at the VMAs, Us Weekly is reporting that Brit may be working something out with the Emmy people, to make an appearance on this Sunday's telecast.

A source close to the awards show says that Fox was "in negotiations" with Brit's camp as of Thursday afternoon to get her on the televised extravaganza. They say that while her appearance has not yet been confirmed, "the idea is to have her come on and apologize for the VMAs. She's weighing the offer."

Nothing is definite, as of now, and a source close to the pop star told the mag, "I can't say this is 100 percent not true. All I can say is that the Emmy people aren't dealing with her record company, her manager or her agents at William Morris. So if she is doing anything for the Emmys then it's not going through the official channels."

I thought live blogging the Emmys with Suzy was going to be crazy to begin with but, if Britney is there, Suzy might just have to scrape me off my ceiling. Make sure you join us -- it's going to be a blast!

UPDATE: Sadly, Brit's camp has released a statement saying Britney will not be gracing the Emmys with her presence.

"Britney Spears has no plans to appear on the Emmys this Sunday," a spokesperson for Jive, Brit’s label, told Usmagazine.com.

Britney is obviously better off, but us? Not so much. Join us anyway, as we're sure to find plenty of other people to make fun of! See you then!

If you told me O.J. Simpson ripped off the homeless man on the corner I would believe you. So I'm more than willing to buy that he broke into a room in a Las Vegas casino and stole a whole bunch of sports memorabilia.

Las Vegas police say that the break-in was reported late Thursday night at the Palace Station casino and that it involved sports collectibles. O.J. told the Associated Press he took memorabilia that belonged to him from a casino hotel, but didn't break into the room.

"When they talked to him, Simpson made the comment that he believed the memorabilia was his," said a police spokesman. "We're getting conflicting stories from the two sides." After being questioned, O.J. was released, but is still believed to be in Las Vegas. "We don't believe he's going anywhere," police said.

Why would he steal sports memorabilia, you ask? Because he can. After getting acquitted of murdering his wife, I'm sure O.J. thinks he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. And I'm sure it's no coincidence that his book, If I Did It, hits shelves Friday.

The Disney people must have a whole protocol for damage control when their big teen stars screw up. Vanessa Hudgens of High School Musical -- and now, naked photo -- fame, quickly issued an apology for taking those au naturel photos, which ended up plastered all over the Web, followed by a statement from Disney saying that they hoped she learned a lesson. The teen queen then cancelled her appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, (who knows what Jay would ask her!) and just happened to be caught by paparazzi photographers, leaving a church with her family.

We hope all of this is good enough for the peeps at Disney and Vanessa can just go back to being their darling. If not, they can always just put her in a convent and send Splash News over there.

As you know, former husbands of Pamela Anderson, Kid Rock and Tommy Lee decided to take their hatred for each other and bash it in to each other's faces at this year's VMAs. Tommy has said that he was innocent, just minding his own business, when Kid came up to him and punched him in the mug. But the Detroit rapper says the Motley Crue man had been taunting him for years -- and that this rivalry goes way back.

"It's been going on for five years. "I did what any man would do, any man across the country, across the world would do," he said, adding that "it kills me just to be associated with, to have my name in a sentence with him, it honestly destroys me. "Last contact I had with him was when me and Pam were going through our divorce. He picked up her Blackberry and started e-mailing me a lot of horrendous things. It was extremely disrespectful."

As for the night of the VMAs, Kid says, "This was unavoidable. I had to do what I had to do because this was a long time coming. You know, I came back from the bathroom and he was sitting right there. It was even more disrespectful after everything he's said, I was like that's enough, that's it."

And though we are all quick to assume that the underlying cause of the fight was for the love of Pammy, Kid says "no way."

"The best thing I ever did was I filed for that divorce. You have to go through these things to realize that, you know. I was in love with her. I went through it, I did what I had to do, but thank God I got out of it. It had absolutely zero to do with her.... I knew it was a bad career move to get involved with her because your life becomes a circus – because that's what she wants is media attention."

I'm not sure if I believe that this had nothing to do with Pam, but I'm wearing my Team Kid shirt today.

The New York Post is reporting that former-90210-er Tori Spelling and her hubby, Dean McDermott are possibly heading to The Great White Way. The couple has been offered starring roles in "Chicago" and "are currently in talks," Tori's rep told the paper.

Tori and Dean obviously believe that a couple that plays together stays together, as they recently opened up a Bed and Breakfast together, and filmed a reality show, Tori and Dean: Inn Love, centered around them running it. No word on if baby Liam will score a role in the show, but we're sure he'll have a nice cushy crib backstage.

I just don't know what to believe anymore. Everytime I'm back to thinking Larry Birkhead is the good guy in the whole Anna Nicole Smith debacle, someone else starts talking smack about the horrific things Larry has done.

Case in point -- the Daily News spoke to a former deputy with the L.A. Sheriff's Dept., who worked as a bodyguard for Larry. The security man claims that the father of Anna's baby Dannielynn fake-posed at the grave of her son Daniel in the Bahamas.

Mark Speers alleges that Larry called paparazzi agency Splash News to let them know they would be going to Daniel's grave.

"Larry and I went to Nassau for over a week in January of this year. One day he said he wanted to go to Daniel's grave, ostensibly to pay tribute to him on his birthday. But it turned out he had another idea. He said, 'We're going to meet two guys from Splash.'

"They had arranged to wait in some bushes at the cemetery. They took pictures of Larry pretending to be sad and emotional at the grave site. Only the Splash guys weren't quite satisfied, so they asked him to do it again, and for me to get out of the picture. We did three takes. That was the first sign to me that Larry was in it for the money."

The former deputy goes to say that he was in attendance for secret meetings between Larry and Howard K. Stern, where the two men worked out details on a deal for Dannielynn.

"I heard Howard tell Larry that he'd give him custody of the baby if he [would allow] Stern to remain as executor of the estate. Larry said, 'I'll think about it.' "At one point, the baby burped up some fluid on a blanket. Howard said, 'I bet you'd like to have that for DNA.'?"

So upsetting. I'm starting to think there is no good guy in this whole scenario.

"I sent him a bottle of wine and a gift certificate for a massage cause that is a lot," Ellen told Access Hollywood. "He works so hard, he gets up so early, he works all day long… he is just… I can’t believe how hard he works. And he took this on, but I think that he will be great,” she said.

I love Ellen. She is just the coolest, funniest, nicest gal around. As for her plans on Emmy night?

“If I win I will go back stage and do press and leave and if I loose I will storm out!”, she joked.

“It’ll never happen. Nah. It could’ve, but it won’t,” the producer told MTV News. Timbaland says that Britney got all huffy with him and JT, who offered to help the troubled starlet out of her dark days. “She needs a story,” he added. “She has no comeback story. That’s the problem. She has to have a team. She needs to come back with Justin doing records; [then we’d see headlines like,] ‘She went back to her ex and she’s making smashes.’ [But instead she got] so big-headed and [was] like, ‘Screw you, screw you, I don’t need nobody.’ ”

Listen up, Britney -- Timbaland will still work with you! All you need to do is apologize.

“She should humble herself and make a phone call and say, ‘I’m sorry.’ She knows what she’s sorry about,” he said. “She needs to say, ‘I was wrong,’ and it’ll definitely move forward. … That’s all she has to say.”

For the love of Sean Preston and Jayden James! Say it, Britney! Say it!!!

I still haven't wrapped my head around the Heath Ledger/Michelle Williams split -- it just seemed so sudden -- but rumors are flying that Heath has already moved on.

Page Six says that Heath has taken up with model Helena Christensen, who sometimes hooks up with Josh Hartnett. Tuesday night, Heath and Helena were seen at an eatery in NYC, "making out throughout the dinner." The doting Heath also "held her bag for her as she did interviews." The twosome then checked out the after-party for the movie Eastern Promises at the Soho Grand.

They say time heals a broken heart, but it usually takes a bit more than a few weeks. Perhaps not for Heath.

"I run around my house naked with heels all the time. It's so funny. All my friends will tell you I love running around in kimonos and jewelry or naked with jewelry."

I have to say, for someone who battled an eating disorder, that is quite impressive. My friend Jen used to always say "If I had so-in-so's body I would walk around naked, with only shoes and a bag." Maybe Mary-Kate feels that good about her bod these days. If so, I think that's wonderful.

“I feel like I’ve lived 10 different lives already and I’m only 21…But I also feel like I’m entering a new chapter," she said in the interview, promoting her upcoming stint on HBO's Weeds. Apparently, this is the naked chapter.

The always-angry rapper, Foxy Brown, has been found out. She is not pregnant. She said she was. But she's not.

The not-so-sly Foxy, who was arrested last month on charges that she hit her neighbor with a BlackBerry, had her lawyers announce in court that she was three months along, and Foxy herself told the NY Post, "I'm getting married in September. I'm pregnant!"

It didn't help her anyway, as the judge was fed up with Foxy and sentenced her to a year in jail. So I guess that's why her manager ratted her out. "And to the pregnancy rumors, this is the official statement: She is not pregnant,"
said the Foxy's handler, just yesterday.

What a freakin' loser.

To check up on celebs that actually are with child, check out our Celebrity Baby Tracker.

Please -- I beg you. Watch this video of Britney Spears's biggest (and most emotional) fan plead for the media to let up. I thought Will Ferrell's video of Baby Pearl was the funniest thing I had ever seen -- I was VERY, VERY wrong.

Please, watch it NOW. You won't be sorry. And you're welcome.

Mandy Moore totally strikes me as the type of girl who stays friends with all of her ex-boyfriends but, I tell you, I worry about her.

Mandy was seen giving That 70's Show star and her former main man, Wilmer Valderrama, some fashion advice in New York. The two were shopping at Saks Fifith Avenue, where Mandy was watching Wilmer try on blazers.

Now these two have been on-and-off for a while, as a new boyfriend or girlfriend gets thrown into the mix every now and then, but I can't believe Mandy can still stand this guy. Way back when, Wilmer went on Howard Stern's radio show and dished about taking Mandy's virginity and said some not-so-nice things about her.

Maybe Mandy's just a bigger person than I am but, if I were her, I'd take the hangers from those racks at Saks and find them a nice new home in Wil's posterior.

A spy for the Daily News says that Paris and Adrian were getting their kiss on in Las Vegas last weekend. "Adrian is resistant because this is Paris Hilton," blabs the witness. "She's way more into him and was all over him. But he's being good and hasn't slept with her. They did make out, and Adrian felt that was too much."

Will Adrian fall to wiles of Paris? I hope not, because I would love to see her get rejected, but I have my doubts. Stay tuned!

It seems Justin Timberlake may have had a tad too much fun at his Southern Hospitality party on Sunday night.

AP is reporting that Justin is on doctor-ordered vocal rest after his performance at the VMAs. Justin may have rocked the house, but the singer, who was a big winner of the moon men, lost his voice in the process. As a result, Justin has postponed concerts in both Sacramento and San Jose, California.

But please girls, don't go crying a river -- Justin's concerts have been rescheduled for September 23 and 25, where he will hopefully be back to his sexy top form.

As I told you yesterday, Kanye West kicked and screamed after he was the biggest loser at Sunday's VMAs. Now there's a wonderful video on YouTube that shows the whole thing!

Meanwhile, MTV has reached out to Kanye, after he threatened to boycott the network, releasing this statement:

"MTV has a long and collaborative relationship with Kanye and we hope and look forward to continuing that meaningful relationship."

I bet they'd even set up a portable crib for him in his dressing room.

After Britney Spears's disastrous VMA performance I shudder to think about the number of CDs she is going to sell when her new work drops on November 13. People's music critic, Chuck Arnold, got a sneak peek at Brtiney's latest list of hopeful hits. Here's what he had to say:

In addition to the pulsating first single, "Gimme More," other tracks we heard at an exclusive preview have a synth-heavy sound that nods to new wave. The defiant "Piece of Me" the likely second single and possible album title, features Spears's heavily processed voice issuing the challenge: "You want a piece of me?" to her foes.

"Break the Ice," another uptempo number featuring Spears's trademark breathy vocals, was produced by Timbaland protegée Nate "Danjahandz" Hills.

The Rihanna-esque "Radar" (also produced by Bloodshy & Avant), sets Spears's chirpy delivery to a bouncy beat, while the driving "Heaven on Earth," an early fave, is a throbbing throwback to "I Feel Love"-era Donna Summer.

I don't know about you, but nothing this guy wrote makes me want to go out and get this. How much bad news can Britney really take?

Just another starlet thinking she's above the law.

Soap star Kirsten Storms, who you may know as "Maxie Jones" from General Hospital, was arrested over the weekend after cops stopped her for throwing a lit cigarette out the window of her blue Mercedes. According to the police report, officers "noticed the odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from the vehicle." After several sobriety tests, she was arrested for DUI. Kirsten was taken to Van Nuys Jail and later released on $5,000 bail.

The actress, who's 23, also does a voice on Disney's Kim Possible and formerly played Days Of Our Lives's Belle Black.

Disney's young ladies are not having a good run, as of late. At least Kirsten was dressed.

I had almost forgotten all about Oscar Winner Jennifer Hudson when I heard that she was going to be in the new Sex and the City movie! Variety reports that Jen has snagged the role of Carrie's assistant, and is in final negotiations with the producers.

In addition to hanging with Carrie and the gang, J-Hud (as I like to call her) is taking that powerhouse voice into the studio to record her debut album.

Now you know.

While Sarah Silverman was calling Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's kids "the cutest mistakes you've ever seen," Kevin was being the doting dad and throwing a birthday party for his sons.

With their mom partying it up in Vegas, Kevin took it upon himself to round up banners, balloons and an ice cream cake, all in the theme of the movie Cars, for Jayden James, who turns 1 on Wednesday, and Sean Preston, who turns two on Friday. Even Britney's parents came by to give their grandkids some love!

Kevin says the party was for the Sean and Jayden, but who really thinks it was for Britney's bomb of a performance at the VMAs? Kevin had to know it was going to be a train wreck.

Justin reportedly skipped all of the after-parties to hang with his main women. The threesome had a quiet dinner with friends at Tableau restaurant in the Wynn Las Vegas's Spa Tower. According to a fellow diner, Justin and Jess smooched a bunch and "were so lovey-dovey. They were always touching and being very sweet with one another and in front of Justin's mom."

Um, AWKWARD!

After dinner, Justin and Jess opted to call it a night instead of heading out to any of the festivities. Hopefully Justin's mom partied with the others or retired to her own room.

Tough guy rapper, Kanye West is throwing a tantrum because he didn't take home any of the five VMAs he was nominated for, but he's hiding behind the guise that MTV "exploited him."

"I wasn't mad that I just didn't win any awards," Kanye told New York's Z-100. "For me, [MTV] made it seem like performing on the main stage was a bad thing, and the suites were just so great. It was my dream when I made 'Stronger' to open up the VMAs with a real power performance.

"And I just feel like I got betrayed by them," the rapper continues. "I feel like they tried to make it seem like I was so into everything that was going on in the show."

He also jumps to Britney Spears's defense, saying that the network used her, as well.

"They exploited Britney in helping to end her career," Kanye said. "When Britney was opening, near the end, I felt so bad for her. I said, 'Man, it's a dirty game. This game will chew you up and spit you out.'"

Kanye has vowed to never work with MTV again, but is sure that he'll still come out on top.

"I have a connection in the fans' heart that the press can't stop," he said.

Here's my personal note to Kanye:

Dear Kanye,
Go cry to your momma. Or put your binky back in and SHUT UP.
Thanks,
Tracy

Brtiney Spears really has nobody to blame but herself for the disaster that was her MTV VMA performance.

Sources say that Britney acted liked she barely cared about anything having to do with her scheduled "comeback" way before she ever took that stage. According to Page Six, Brit arrived hours late to Las Vegas and, when she finally did get there, instead of going straight to rehearsal, the pop tart had herself a little pre-party.

"She went to her hotel room and ordered a bunch of food and some frozen margaritas," a spy said. "She came down, like, an hour later with a frozen margarita in her hand."

Which may have something to do with why Britney forgot the words to her own song and made a mockery of the dance number.

"The dance number was spectacular - without her," said a source who was at rehearsal. "When the stand-in was rehearsing with the dancers, in the hours they were all waiting for her, it was amazing. Then Britney showed up and refused to do anything. The dancers were supposed to lift and twirl her in the air a few times, and that just wasn't going to happen. The more complicated dance moves had to be erased because she couldn't do them."

Britney also picked that winner of an outfit she was wearing, because she didn't like what MTV has chosen for her. The network thought she should wear a corset-type top to flatter her figure, but Brit wanted to sex it up -- hence the black, sparkly bikini thingy she donned.

After her bomb of a performance, Brit allegedly broke down in tears but then partied until 3 a.m. She was, once again, photographed by paparazzi wearing no panties.

I give up.

"You really saw them making out," E!'s Planet Gossip maven asked her source.

"I did," she said. "And I heard Brody Jenner was pissed."

Cisco, who used to date Mischa Barton, is hardly good enough for L.C., but Lauren, admittedly, just can't stay away from the bad boys.

“I have no words."

-- Kanye West to USA Today, on Britney Spears's embarrassing VMA performance

Pamela Anderson exes Tommy Lee and Kid Rock reportedly beat the crap put of each other during last night's MTV VMAs. "Tommy Lee was sitting by Diddy. [Kid Rock] just walked up and decked him!" reported my husband's favorite veejay, Sway.

Another lucky observer said, "They had each other at the necks, they were practically strangling each." Tommy was said to be "screaming the f-word over and over again." He was then escorted out of the festivities and into the main casino of the Palms.

When Jamie Foxx came out to present an award with Jen Garner, the actor made fun of the two overgrown babies. "Stop all of this white-on-white crime. Tommy Lee and Kid Rock fighting like black folks – it's hilarious." Later, Diddy took a crack at them. "I was supposed to be doing this with Kid Rock, but you know, we got to stop the violence," he joked. "It's not just hip-hop artists that fight."

No word on whose room Pam ended up in.

UPDATE:
Kid Rock has been cited by police for misdemeanor battery, for the slap that started it all. The maximum punishment for the charge is six months in jail.

Word to the wise -- Paris Hilton can not keep a secret.

Paris took it upon herself to announce to a packed party in Las Vegas, that the fiesta's host, pop star Christina Aguilera, has a bun in the oven.

"Congratulations to the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world. You're gorgeous," Paris shouted out into a microphone, at about 2 a.m. Sunday. Christina, who has yet to confirm her pregnancy, appeared a tad bit shocked, as she as "sank her head into the shoulder of husband Jordan Bratman as her friends looked stunned." If she was mad, Christina got over it quickly, laughing as the crowd went wild.

Way to take it to the grave, Paris.

High School Musical's Vanessa Hudgens is sorry for the nakedy photos of herself that hit the internet last week. In a statement released Friday by her rep, Vanessa, who's 18, said: "I want to apologize to my fans, whose support and trust means the world to me. I am embarrassed over this situation and regret having ever taken these photos. I am thankful for the support of my family and friends."

We may be able to brush this little mishap under the rug, but HSM's parent company -- the squeaky-clean Disney, may not be so forgiving. Sources are buzzing that the studio may be thinking of recasting Van in the upcoming High School Musical 3. Disney released this statement concerning the mom-troubling matter: "Vanessa has apologized for what was obviously a lapse in judgment. We hope she's learned a valuable lesson."

What's also interesting is that People is reporting that Vanessa may have originally taken these photos and sent them to Nickelodeon star, Drake Bell, before she became famous, though, according to Drake's rep, "Drake says he never received those photos."

I wonder how Vanessa's boyfriend, Zac Efron, feels about that. Could Zac and Drake be the next Tommy Lee and Kid Rock?

But let me say this, teen hottie Chris Brown may not have had any Moon Men in his pocket when he left the VMAs, but boy is leaving with something a heck of a lot more valuable -- mad respect from some of music's biggest people and whole new fan base.

Chris's dance performance was so fantastic, it shamed poor Britney Spears into looking like a So You Think You Can Dance reject. The crowd went wild for Chris, who has moves we haven't seen in ages and who will, no doubt, be one of music's major players in the years to come.

More: Best & Worst of the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards

Britney Spears took the stage at the MTV VMAs and performed her brand new single, "Gimme More." The performance was so hyped. "This is going to be the greatest comeback in music history," some said, as I hoped. Britney was said to be working with her new best pal, illusionist Criss Angel, to create a show stopping performance filled with tricks that would have us "ooohing" and "ahhhing" all the way to our computers, to download Brit's new album.

But there was no show stopping performance, there were no illusions, and there will be no comeback. Britney seemed like she was barely alive during her lackluster lip-synching debacle. As I was watching her, I felt that embarrassing feeling you get when you watch an R-rated movie with your parents. I wanted to hide my eyes -- or pretend like I wasn't actually seeing what was on the screen. I almost thought she was kidding.

Then it was over and I was left speechless and sad. It sucked. Plain and simple. I wanted to love it, Brit, but I really, really didn't.

Magnificent musical producer Timbaland says that Britney Spears's comeback could be "great," but it sounds more like he's over the hype already.

Timba told Ryan Seacrest that all the talk surrounding Brit's big opening number at this Sunday's VMAs might be overkill. "Britney's cool, but I think that ... it was too much," he says. "Now it's like, 'Okay, Britney's opening, she got a new song.' ...It's kinda dull. It's kinda flat-lined."

But don't get him wrong -- he'll fully support Brit if she blows up again from this, but Timbaland thinks the pop star needs to start letting people in. "I would love Britney to have a smash, it would be the greatest comeback ever," he insists. "I think it would be phenomenal, but I think she's got to be connected with her family. She can't do it alone."

And here's a bit of Timbaland wisdom that you can live your life around:

"Sly can't come back on his own, he needs the family Stones You need a team. You can't be an island."

True dat, Timba. True dat.

Admit it haters, this is cute! Angelina Jolie and daughter Zahara trot through NYC with their matching bags. I wonder if they have matching pictures of Brad inside?

Doesn't Paris Hilton have enough money? Why does she have to go and ruin everyone else's fun, by suing Hallmark for using her likeness on a greeting card without her permission?

According to TMZ.com, in documents filed yesterday, the heiress alleges Hallmark created a card entitled "Paris's First Day as a Waitress." The card uses a picture of Paris' face superimposed over a cartoon of a waitress serving food that says "Don't touch that, it's hot. What's hot? That's hot."

It's sorta cute, right? Well, Paris thinks it's worth suing for damages in excess of $100,000, claiming Hallmark "failed to properly obtain [her] approval."

Ugh! She'll probably win, too. The rich just keep gettin' richer.

Whattaya know? Alyssa Milano has got a new job!

The former Who's the Boss?/Melrose Place/Charmed star is taking time out of her busy schedule of modeling baseball caps to do some acting! Girl has scored a role on My Name is Earl, as Jason Lee's new love interest.

We all know Joy's guy, Crab Man, is the real stud of that show, but, me thinks she is not going to be happy that Earl is getting cozy with the likes of Alyssa. Just a hunch.

"Lindsay, myself and my son, Michael Jr., agreed that it would be good for her to have some closure with the situation with her dad. It's part of the healing process," said Dina to People.

Our friends at Access Hollywood first broke the news that Lindsay was getting a visit from her dad, reporting that this would be the first time the troubled starlet has seen her father since he was released in March from having served 2 years in New York State Prison for driving while intoxicated and other disorderly behavior charges.

Dina says that she's happy that Michael is with Lindsay, but we all know the truth. She is so hoping that the big mouth says or does something offensive and Linds cuts him out of her life forever. Then, of course, Dina can solely share in all of Lindsay's funds.

"I would love to be able to swim in the ocean in Malibu, but that is asking for a bikini shot. That's inviting something that I don't want to happen. I don't need to be on a 'Who's Skinny, Who's Fat, Who's Looking Healthy, Who's Not Eating?' list."

-- Mary-Kate Olsen to EW.com, on unwanted attention from the media

Thanks for playing our Who Said It? Accomplished Actor Edition!

Now for the big reveal. If you guessed cutie-patootie John Cusack you would be correct! That's right, raise your boom boxes high over your head, the Say Anything (my favorite movie of all time) star says that most of his movies are crap. He does credit Grosse Pointe Blank and Being John Malkovich as being among the highlights of his career, but no mention of Diane Court or Better Off Dead.

Come on! Who doesn't still recite the lines of the disgruntled paper boy from BOD?

Two dollars. I want my two dollars!

John just doesn't give himself enough credit.

Call me cynical, but I'd like to file this one under the B.S. category.

In the new issue of V magazine, Brad Pitt swears he and ex-wife, Jennifer Aniston, still have a very "deep friendship." On top of that, he says he "stifled any attraction" to Angelina Jolie until his marriage to Jen was completely done.

"The most important thing about that time was for Jen and me to figure out if – how do I put it? – if we didn’t want to go on without any outside influence,” he tells the magazine of the end of his union with Jen, which was surrounded by a flurry of rumors of an affair between Brad and Angelina, who were filming Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

“Is this where we got off? Have we taken this as far as we wanted to go?” He says, “Those questions had to be answered before an attraction to Angie could be answered."

So, believe what you want -- I know you will.

Here we go! MTV's has confirmed the rumors that Britney Spears will open the VMAs on Sunday. Brit will be singing her new song, which doesn't suck, called "Gimme More."

Her recent late night dates with creepy Criss Angel are, in part, due to him working on "some of the moments of the performance," says Jesse Ignjatovic, the executive producer of this year's VMAs. MTV is hoping to recapture some the past magic that Britney and MTV have made together. "I guess, looking back, we've had a great history with her," he said. "I wanted to start the show in a very big and dramatic way, and she's the one to do that. She'll captivate everyone, and set the tone for the rest of the night. There's no one better."

OMG, I'm so excited! Why? Because it will either be fantastic or a complete mess -- and, either way, I'll have something good to write about Monday morning!!

George Clooney is taking his new romance with Sarah Larson public. The new couple cuddled out in the open at the Venice Film Festival and sources say Sarah's a hit with George's buds.

"She's really nice and generally liked by George's friends," a source close to the actor tells People. Another spy said George "couldn't keep his hands off her" at Venice's Hotel Cipriani. "At one point he just leaned over and kissed her on the lips," says one partygoer. "My God, she is stunning."

The "stunning" Sarah is a Fear Factor winner, who works as a cocktail waitress at Las Vegas's Moon nightclub in the Palms Casino Resort. The lucky girl flew to France with George on Sept. 1 for the Deauville Film Festival. The two also dined with Matt Damon and his wife Luciana and five other friends.

Sarah is definitely sitting pretty right now, but she shouldn't be picking out china patterns. When an artist who met with George at the Hotel Cipriani offered to do a wedding portrait, the actor, commitment-phobe that he is, was quick to say, "Don't say weddings around me. No weddings!"

"I've made 10 good films. The ones that suck I tend to blank out. It's like I never even made them. Well, there aren't 40 that are great, put it that way. But that's fine. Ten is a good battling average."

Is it:
Keifer Sutherland
Sean Penn
John Cusack
Kevin Bacon

Take a guess and check back later for the big reveal!

Yum!

This is what happens when hype get out of hand. The world was losing its mind that super soccer star David Beckham was coming to play for the L.A. Galaxy. Now sources are saying that, after his latest injury, David could be done for the season.

"He won't recover until the end of the season. It's an unfortunate situation for sure," West Coast source blabbed to the Daily News. Posh's hubby injured his right knee last week, following ongoing problems with his left ankle. "They haven't decided how to proceed," said another source. "There is so much at stake here. However, he is doing well and in great spirits. He can't wait to heal and be back in top form. This injury is a misery to him."

David, who reportedly got $250 million to come over to the U.S., isn't exactly giving the team their money's worth. David's rep, however, is worth his weight in gold. "It's too early to determine exactly when he'll be back, but at the moment he is undergoing daily treatment for his injury, and is progressing well," David's front-man said in a statement.

He could always coach his kid's teams -- but I'm thinking the salary might be just a tad less.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt seem to have taken quite the liking to New York City -- so much so that they've enrolled son Maddox into a $18,000 a year private school, on the Upper East Side. Page Six is reporting that Brangelina showed up at Lycee Francais de New York for Mad's first day on Tuesday.

"They were just like normal parents," said a spy. Riiiiight.

The couple's oldest son will be getting the finest bilingual education, as lessons are taught in French at the NYC school. So, unlike most kids, Mad will know more French than just that line from "Lady Marmalade."

“We have chosen to separate. We are sorry for any pain this causes family and friends. The enthusiasm we have expressed for each other’s lives, spirits and careers is real – we have been each other’s cheerleader and friend during the past six years and continue to be so now and in the future.”

Could it be the whole "she's a big star now" syndrome that put stress on their marriage? Well, I don't know anything for sure, but, even though Jenna's husband is an film writer/director, when I was searching for a pic of these two, the one you see above was labeled as "Jenna Fischer and an unidentified guest." Ouch!

Well, I never really wanted to be either one of them anyway, but now? Forget it.

A fight with the paparazzi sends yet another celeb to the mug shot gallery. Jude Law was arrested Tuesday for allegedly attacking a photographer outside of the actor's home.

Jude's rep released this statement:

"I can confirm that Jude Law voluntarily attended Marylebone Police Station yesterday following an alleged incident outside his house earlier in the day. Mr. Law provided the police with a statement regarding his denials of allegations by a 'paparazzi' photographer against him and made his own allegations concerning the photographer. Jude has the utmost respect for the police and whilst this is an ongoing matter no further comment will be made."

The actor is required to return to the police station in October "pending further inquires," according to the Times of London.

Nicole Kidman really decided to drop some bombs in the new issue of Vanity Fair. After revealing that she had a devastating miscarriage while married to Tom Cruise, Nicole opened up about another secret she was keeping. The actress told the mag that she had a pretty serious relationship with a mystery man after she and Tom ended things, before hooking up with Keith Urban.

"I didn't really want a relationship," she admitted, "Yet shortly thereafter got engaged to somebody ... but it just wasn't right."

Nicole doesn't name names, but she was romantically linked to both Liz Hurley ex Stephen Bing and rocker Lenny Kravitz. Who do you guys think it was?

Yeah, Brad, it must suck to look like you.

Brad Pitt tells the October issue of Details magazine that his looks are taking a hit, now that he's past 40. "One thing sucks, your face kind of goes," the actor says in the October issue of Details. "Your body's not quite working the same. But you earned it. You earned that, things falling apart."

We may think it's his ever-growing brood that's adding those wrinkles to his chiseled face (though I'm sure some of you think it's Angelina Jolie that's sucking the life from him), but Brad says his multi-cultural family is a dream. "You just look at them and go, my daughter's from Ethiopia, two sons from Asia, a daughter who's born in Namibia — and they are brother and sister. They have the same dynamics I had growing up, and I... It pleases me so much."

And like they told reporters at the Venice Film Festival, "We're not done," he confessed. So, what kind of adjustment period is it to go from no kids to gaggle in a flash? "Well, I had one kid, then two kids, then three kids. Two and a half years or so. Listen, I've always embraced extremes, so it doesn't feel odd to me. There's a couple weeks of finding your balance, and then it's in stone."

What about Angelina? Brad says their humanitarian work in Darfur plays a part in their love for each other. "It's something that brought Angie and I together certainly — she's absolute evidence for me of someone facilitating changes for the better."

He calls her "Angie" -- oy.

Owen Wilson's people are doing their best to keep the actor from any more pain.

According to Ben Widdicombe of the Daily News, Owen's ex Kate Hudson has been trying to reach her former love, to send her best wishes, but has been blocked, repeatedly, by the actor's camp.

"Kate has been trying to get in touch with Owen and is distraught that the family doesn't want her anywhere near him," says a pal. "She is very frustrated."

Stories that Owen's suicide attempt and depression were caused by his split with Kate have been swirling since the incident took place, and people close to the actor feel any contact with his ex would just do damage.

"[Owen's family members] don't think Kate is good for him," reports the insider.

Seeing her making out with Dax Shepard in the supermarket can't be a picnic either.

So, maybe she's not the worst mother in the world.

Britney Spears's lawyer says the singer has been cleared of any child abuse claims. "It does not appear the county will pursue any action at this time," attorney Laura Wasser said at a hearing concerning the custody battle between Brit and Kevin Federline.

After the hearing, Wasser told People she doesn't know who complained to Child Services about Brit's mothering. "But I am trying to find out," she said.

The lawyer declined to describe the nature of the complaints, but recent reports claimed Britney was not being investigated for physical abuse of Sean Preston and Jayden James, it was more likely a probe into the whole Mountain Dew-in-the-baby-bottles and Doritos-for-breakfast claim.

Nicole also talks about the downside to winning her Oscar (for The Hours in 2003):
"It felt big. It felt lonely and big. You're in a hotel and you're like, okay well, I'm sitting in this big suite with an Oscar, and I still don't have a life. What is wrong with me? It hit home that I needed to get a life. Who do I jump on the bed with, and celebrate with, and order pancakes with?"

On meeting her current hubby, Keith Urban:
"I think we were two lonely people. I would probably say that two very lonely people managed to meet at a time when they could open themselves to each other. We were a mixture of frightened and brave."

On Keith entering rehab, just four months after they married:
"It was just another twist in my life: Here it goes. Hold on, and off we go! But it was very painful, deeply painful. We were in a very, very, very bad, painful place, and have managed to step through it, and I hope that gives some people some hope who may be in the same place. And that's enough said. Anything else is overindulgent and unnecessary right now. And I think it jinxes it, in a way, and that's why I don't go on about my enormous feelings for this man."

In addition, Nicole admits to still "yearning" to have a baby of her own, and that Keith is "getting there slowly." She adds, "I've learned an enormous amount having a relationship with someone who is in recovery. I'm more than willing to walk it with him. The two of us are very committed to our relationship."

Pure class.

TMZ.com had gotten word from a very reliable source that the gorgeous Halle is pregnant! Apparently, producers of the actress's upcoming film, Tulia, have scrapped plans to start filming in October -- as Halle is three months along.

Halle is currently dating that looker of a model, Gabriel Aubrey, and has been open about wanting to start a family.

At this point, I'm just hoping that it's true. Show me the belly, Halle!

UPDATE:
It's true! Halle has confirmed to Nancy O' Dell of Access Hollywood that she is, indeed, preggers! "Yes, I am three months pregnant. Gabriel and I are beyond excited and I've waited a long time for this moment in my life."

Bring on that beautiful baby! Congrats!!

Y'all remember doin' the walk of shame, in the early morning hours, after a scandalous night out. Hair all mussed, makeup running down your face, one shoe missing...

No, you don't? Oh.

Okay, so that touched a nerve, but George could be selling the Showtme Rotisserie ("Set it and forget it!") and I'd still love him.

I can't stand Gisele Bundchen. Maybe she was trying to do the right thing by her man, Tom Brady, but girl must have rocks in her head. You see, Tom's ex, Bridget Moynahan (who announced her pregnancy three months after the couple split and Tom took up with Gisele) gave birth to Tom's baby footballer last week, and according to the Daily News, Gisele bought a whole slew of baby gifts for the new tot, from the trendy Petit Tresor in L.A., and had them sent to Bridget and the new baby. Included in the $1,000 gift basket? A onesie with the word "Supermodel" across the front. Can you say "stones of steel?"

I wouldn't be surprised if, for Christmas, Gisele sends the kid a bib that reads, "I love my Daddy's arm candy."

A super fan of Brad Pitt's went all out to see her main man at the Venice Film Festival, when she burt through security to get to the Bradster. As Brad made his way down the red carpet to promote his film, The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, the woman, who had been waiting in the pack of screaming fans, blasted through the pack of body guards and grabbed the actor around his neck. She was quickly removed by security but Brad looked startled. To his credit he continued to greet the less enthusiastic fans and sign their autographs.

You've gotta give the girl props, though. So she's a little loony -- she saw an opportunity and she went for it. I ain't mad at her. I'd have probably done the same thing to Luke Perry (shout out to my pal Kapp!) back in the day.

Owen Wilson was released from the hospital and back home with his family on Saturday. After attempting to take his own life last week, Owen is said to be under close watch.

"He knows he came close to ending his life, and he is happy that he was saved from himself. He is basically at home with people watching him 24/7,' said a source close to Owen.

The actor was scheduled to make an appearance at the Venice Film festival this week, to promote his latest movie,The Darjeeling Limited, but choose to skip it. Instead, the film's director and Owen's good buddy, Wes Anderson, represented the film and sent the message that Owen was on the road to recovery.

"I just want you to know how excited I am to have the film showing here," Wes said at a press conference. "It means a great deal to me, and it also means a great deal to Owen, who wants me to express to you how much it means to him and to say that he wishes he could be with us. We all miss having him here very much. Obviously he's been through a lot this week but he's doing well and he's been making us laugh a lot."

Just the thought of Owen smiling again makes me happy.

The Daily News is reporting that one of the scandalous allegations in Rita Crosby's new book "Blonde Ambition" is that Anna Nicole Smith's former lovers, Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern were actually loving each other -- and there's a video!!The new tell-all claims that Anna Nicole knew both men were homosexuals and would often watch the video of them, in which they are supposedly giving each other oral sex, over and over again.

We don't know if this is true, but if they were gay, what would Larry (who is a semi-pretty boy) ever find appealing in Howard? Larry is so out of Howard's league.

There is tons more nastiness in the book, including talk of both Larry and Howard drugging Anna Nicole. The stories are outrageous and shocking, and whether they are fact or fiction, that lady is going to have a best-seller on her hands. Trust.